EUCNN: Now With More Mod Tolerated Spam!

Discussion in 'EU Community' started by KansasNavy, Aug 5, 2002.

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Moderators: Bardan_Jusik, Sinrebirth
  1. KansasNavy Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 10, 2001
    star 4
    ...was believed to have been the last remaining kamikaze alive. Oh, hello, I'm KansasNavy and let me say one thing: it feels great to be the EU Community now! Tonight, we'll be interviewing Fire_Ice_Death, who is a EUCitarian second only to me.

    KN: Good evening.
    FID: Hello. It feels great to be here.
    KN: Now its been said that you secretly hate newbies, especially ones from the post-Attack of the Clones release. Is that just?
    FID: Yes it is. There are always a few kids who, mostly people who have logged in for the first time in the last few months, refuse to make any effort in logic. These kids become magnets for teasing because of their bad attitude. If they weren't such wimps, they'd win more respect, but they never change. Buncha [censor]s.
    KN: Also, there was a rumor spread around by Sturm Antilles that you're a pedifile.
    FID: Well that's a big word for a ten year old.
    KN: Yep. Well...?
    FID: No. No way. The closest I came to that was when i kicked a N00b in the crotch for saying my screen name was depressing.
    KN: Okay. What about your proposed plan to bar overweight people from being elected to office.
    FID: That's a very logical plan, because we had to steal the chairs from a local sea food diner, and we only swiped forteen seats and a high chair. And as you know, the EU Senate building isn't more than a tree house in my backyard. The only addition to the senator selection process is a 'Test-Your-Ass' machine at the senate entrance.
    KN: That's good to know. So, what can you tell us about the 'real' you? We haven't seen you much around the EUM until you came bitching about the name of the place.
    FID: Well, I vote straight-ticket Fascist; get real ornery after drinking lemonade; recently inked a deal with the mosquitos to spread the West Nile Viruse, and watch Fear Factor. But what about you? What have you been up to?
    KN: Just brushing up on my expertise at largemouth bass shotgunning.
    FID: Cool. You'll have to show me sometime.
    KN: Sometime. I also dated a couple of married women, but lets not get into that.
    FID: Odd...
    KN: What-oh nevermind. Have you ever killed anybody before, Mr. Death?
    FID: Well...-Oh no! I'm not falling for that one again. Last time I answered that it got me a two-year criminal trial.
    KN: How come it lasted so long?
    FID: Well, the first judge was really sexy, and when she gave me a ball-gag order, it took a turn for the bizarre.
    KN: ...
    FID: ... Yep.
    KN: Uh...thanks for coming on the show.
    FID: Thank you.
    KN: And good night folks.

    [fade]
  2. Fire_Ice_Death Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Feb 15, 2001
    star 7
    LoL!!! [face_laugh] I laughed my @$$ off at that! Great stuff, and I love the title you gave this place.
  3. KansasNavy Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 10, 2001
    star 4
    Thank Lord Bane (or whatever he goes by nowadays). It was a suggested new title in a PM he gave me when I created EUMNN.
  4. Jansons_Funny_Twin Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 31, 2002
    star 6
  5. Fire_Ice_Death Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Feb 15, 2001
    star 7
    Cooo....I think it's more appropriate for the EUCNN.
  6. lexu Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 28, 2002
    star 6
    Lol! Awe, this place is feeling more homey all ready. This, the Hater's Community and the Senate... It's just like the old days... Which I remember nothing of, of course. *Points to register date.* Anyway, Spam is underrated; bring it on!
  7. GrandAdmiralJello Moderator Communitatis Litterarumque

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Nov 28, 2000
    star 10
    Excellent... It has returned.

    I shall await... no, I have said enough.

    [face_devil] :D
  8. JacoMcCloud Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jun 8, 2002
    star 1
    KansasNavy,can I book you for the lounge.


    Hey,jello how are you doing?Is Vader still pissed at you?
  9. Fire_Ice_Death Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Feb 15, 2001
    star 7
    Don't forget, when you use members, send out the congratulatory PM.
  10. Baron_Fel Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 28, 2001
    star 4
    This is the funniest thread in the whole JC. Nay EU, nay EUC.
  11. stevo Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 14, 2001
    star 4
  12. lexu Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 28, 2002
    star 6
    Ah, Baron, it has only just begun. :D
  13. flying_fishi Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2002
    star 6
    Dammit! I had a really funny .wav file of people singing a spam song but I can't find it now :p

  14. KansasNavy Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 10, 2001
    star 4
    Sure, you can book me for your lounge. Just don't expect my 'A' material. Believe it or not, it's hard to come up with articles (rather than just cut'n paste like I usually did).
  15. lexu Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 28, 2002
    star 6
    Hey, this isn't going to the 2nd page on the second day!
  16. Wildwookiee Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2001
    star 4
    hey, I have a question...what do you call a person who takes dictation?
  17. farraday Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 27, 2000
    star 7
    A secretary.

    fdy: Welcome to whatever show I'm doing right now, with me is our guest.. someone... who did.. uh...
    KN: farrie you're not even trying anymore are you?
    fdy: I find your lack of faith disturbing.
    KN: Thats nice, you realize you aren't actually squishing my head right?
    fdy: Shut up!
    KN: Now stop messing around, your interviewing Kevin J. Anderson today.
    fdy: Is she female?
    KN: Uh... no.
    fdy: I'll take that as a no, well bring her in.
    KN: Him farrie, Him.
    fdy: Right, Right, well what are you waiting for?
    KN: We're going to need to hire more lawyers...
    fdy: ...So I ask you all to welcome, Kevin J. Anderson!
    <silence>
    <KJA enters waves to sound booth and sits down>
    fdy: Well KJA, thanks for joining us, now apaprently you're an author...
    <applause>
    fdy: A little late halfie! Anyways, you write books.
    KJA: Well I suppose thats true, however I like to think of myself as an artist, sculpting the words onto the page like a sculpter... sculpting... a sculpture... err...
    fdy: It shows, it really does. So, Mr.
    Anderson, aren't you concerned that the references to the Prequel trilogy era in your books don't match with the movies?
    KJA: Not really.
    fdy: Why?
    KJA: I'm sure someone will make up something to make it match, after all what else are fans for?
    fdy: Hmm, very interesting. That leads to my next question, Mr. Anderson, what good is a phone call if you are unable to speak?
    KJA: Huh?
    fdy: Um, sorry. Why is it with all the Authors writing in NJO you've been, how shall we put it, avoided like the plauge?
    KJA: Well I'm quite busy, you know, other projects um, spellchecking coupons... err...
    fdy: So you're basically the useless shell of a man wasting a small diamonds worth of Carbon?
    KJA: I don't have to sit here and take this!
    fdy: Actually you do, I had halfie put superglue on your chair.
    KJA: So you're going to ransom me eh?
    fdy: Hopefully, if we can get any money. Otherwise we'll just charge 50 cents for people to kick you in the groin.
    KJA: Hah! You've bitten off more then you can chew, for I summon... THE BIG NAUGHTY PLANET KILLER!!!!
    fdy:... thats an Egg McMuffin.
    KJA: Well, yes, but... shouldn't you be fleeing in terror or something?
    fdy: Well I tried, but it looks like halfie got a little to enthusiastic with the super glue.
    KJA: Ah... stalemate then?
    fdy: Yes... I suppose we could slide out of our pants although I'm not sure if I'm wearing any...
    KJA: Or we could just sit here and wait to be rescued.
    fdy: I mean I think I can get loose...
    KJA: No, no, lets wait, here I'll give you half of my planet killer if you'll keep your pants on.
    fdy: Deal.
    <fade>
  18. lexu Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 28, 2002
    star 6
    KJA: Hah! You've bitten off more then you can chew, for I summon... THE BIG NAUGHTY PLANET KILLER!!!!
    fdy:... thats an Egg McMuffin.
    KJA: Well, yes, but... shouldn't you be fleeing in terror or something?
    fdy: Well I tried, but it looks like halfie got a little to enthusiastic with the super glue.


    LOL! Awe man... Side hurts...

    That's a classic. So far the new thread's off to a great start, I would say.
  19. Protege-of-Thrawn Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Mar 14, 2001
    star 6
    Well Done to All. back when this thread was at its height nothing could match it.

    I hope for a ressurection of this franchise.
  20. lexu Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 28, 2002
    star 6
    *Buys stock in EUCNN.*
  21. Jansons_Funny_Twin Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 31, 2002
    star 6
    That was sweet.

    Any humor at KJA's expense is good enough for me.
  22. flying_fishi Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2002
    star 6
    *gleefully gives farraday 50c*

    I'm wearing steel-tipped boots today! [face_mischief]
  23. Jansons_Funny_Twin Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 31, 2002
    star 6
    *Hands farraday a doller*

    I get 2 shots.

    I just love golfing shoes. [face_devil]
  24. Fire_Ice_Death Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Feb 15, 2001
    star 7
    Hello, welcome, and here's today's guest Conar_Selvin welcome him to the show.

    CS: Sup dudes? How y'all doin' tonite?
    FID: Riiiight....so who are you and why are you here?
    CS: I wuz lurkin' hear fur a whale butt I' decided to join.
    FID: Was that even english?
    CS: Look punk! Yew shuldint tel mee how to speek ya'mean?
    FID: What the hell did you just say?
    CS: Yew hurd mee.
    FID: Uh-huh.....and what are your intentions here in the EUC?
    CS: Man, dude, I's here to caws azz much havok as posible.
    FID: I caught the part about havock, but the rest?
    CS: Yew hurd mee foo...
    FID: Did you just call me a foo?
    CS: Dayum straight!
    FID: Where's my agent? I wanna get a new show.

    <fade>

    I was going through my old files and I found this interview. Enjoy, it's an oldie.
  25. Fire_Ice_Death Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Feb 15, 2001
    star 7
    Another re-run.


    Tonight we're here with a special guest, Commander Mitsubishi. Give it up for the Commander.

    CM: It's Mitthrawnuruodo, get it right!
    FID: Yeah, whatever, so what brings you here tonight?
    CM: Uhh...you invited me here.
    FID: Of course we did! All right, so talk about your RP how's it going?
    CM: Crummy, Darth Ludicrous was an @$$ and locked my boo....I mean Role Play.
    FID: Uh-huh, so Mitsubishi, anything you like about RP'ing?
    CM: Yeah, the ability-
    FID: Riight, tell me, why's your name Mitsubishi?
    CM: It's not you friggin' moron! It's Mitthrawnuruodo you jackass!
    FID: Hey I resent that comment I look nothing like your mother!
    CM: Why you little creaton I oughta kill you using the red eyes of Thrawn.
    FID: HuH? Speak english not your retarded RP jumbo.
    CM: Basically I'll tear your damn eyes out!
    FID Okay Mr.Mitsubishi what's that?! *points*
    CM: Huh?
    *a cloud of smoke trailing from FID's seat*

    <fade>
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