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EUCNN: Now With More Mod Tolerated Spam!

Discussion in 'EU Community' started by KansasNavy, Aug 5, 2002.

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  1. Jansons_Funny_Twin

    Jansons_Funny_Twin Jedi Knight star 6

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2002
  2. CmdrMitthrawnuruodo

    CmdrMitthrawnuruodo Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Jul 1, 2000
    LOL

    "Well, you tell me, who brought Hot Chocholate to the EU...I beleive it was Zahn"

    I don't get it...Unless your referring to the misspelling of Chocolate :confused:
     
  3. KansasNavy

    KansasNavy Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 10, 2001
    ...attributed to another case of Monopoly-related domestic violence. Now in our new segment related to Mail Call but we call Calling of the Mail; I will answer some questions that simpletons have about Star Wars, real~life, and the gooey stuff in-between. CmdrMitthrawnuruodo writes:

    [Is there any difference between an E-11 blaster rifle and an M249 SAW, 5.56 mm?]

    The answer may surprise you. Yes. There are a few subtle differences. The major difference is that one is more lethal than the other; that's right, the M249. Though the E-11 is a firearm, it is only used by the armed forces of ILM and Lucas Film, and the most lethal ammunition it fires are blanks by ill-trained white plastic clad extras. I hope that answers your question.
    >
    DarthSeti5 writes:

    [Dear Santa Clause,
    I have been a good kid this year and I am sending my first draft of my list this year. I want a Episode III rough draft script, a working lightsaber like Count Dooku's, and a pet tauntaun.
    Love,
    DS5]

    Well, Darth, I think it's time that you learned the truth. Santa Clause is nothing more than a nordic Viking who is a terrorist. Did you ever ask how he gets the money to supply such a large industry like his? He holds every major coastal city hostage, making them pay him large sums of money or he'll melt the polar ice cap. Yeah, he's a scary bad motha motha. Got that G-dawg?
    >
    lexu asks:

    [What's a better place to visit? Maryland or Kansas]

    Well, I'd have to say Maryland. It's Chesapeake Bay is unrivaled in it's sewage capacity and mutants. It's major cities are sparkling with corrosive acid and heroine syringes. They also like to hug and kiss memebers of the same sex. If you're not into those, then dog-gonnit, come to Kansas.
     
  4. CmdrMitthrawnuruodo

    CmdrMitthrawnuruodo Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Jul 1, 2000
  5. Jansons_Funny_Twin

    Jansons_Funny_Twin Jedi Knight star 6

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2002
    Well, I'd have to say Maryland. It's Chesapeake Bay is unrivaled in it's sewage capacity and mutants. It's major cities are sparkling with corrosive acid and heroine syringes. They also like to hug and kiss memebers of the same sex.

    I DEMAND a retraction right this minute! Many of our cities have crack pipes strewn about, not syringes! :p
     
  6. Wildwookiee

    Wildwookiee Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 14, 2001
    Yes...thankyou KN...I shall be departing our wonderful state within the week to go henceforth and live in Missouri...again.
     
  7. stevo

    stevo Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 14, 2001
  8. Wildwookiee

    Wildwookiee Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 14, 2001
    News Alert!!

    Gen.Madine's Hairpiece missing! Grand Admiral Jello suspected

    Bobamyhelpermonkey was arrested for public drunkeness and indecient exposure...when asked to comment he said "eep eep"...and then sprayed the reporter

    CmdrMitthrawnuruodo checks into rehab hospital suffering with severe RP withdraw. Doctors professional opinionL "Take up drinking."

    DarthAttorney looses argument and is held in contempt of court for mooning the court reporter.

    /news alert
     
  9. lexu

    lexu Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    May 28, 2002
    LOL!

    Hey, you lazy hippy, KN. I thought I was supposed to be notified when I was used! I went several hours not knowing! ;)
     
  10. _Zap_

    _Zap_ Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Mar 28, 2002
    it's time for
    STARWARS BLOOPERS WITH ZAP

    hello
    today we have a blooper from a new hope
    in the scene where luke is flying the x-wing and obi-wan tells luke to use the force

    Obi-wan:use the force luke
    obi-wan:let go
    luke: okie doky
    *luke lets go of the controls and his x-wing crashes*
    obi-wan: ...well... at least we still have leia...
    *the death star fires its superlaser destroying yavin 4*
    obi-wan: ..oh...
     
  11. Jansons_Funny_Twin

    Jansons_Funny_Twin Jedi Knight star 6

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2002
  12. New_York_Jedi

    New_York_Jedi Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 16, 2002
    And heres a minute with New_York_Jedi:

    In breaking news, apparently Kevin J. Anderson has been offered contract by LFL.
    an LFL spokeswomen said:
    "we felt this was the right thing to do judging by the demands of the star Wars community"
    Terms of the deal include never writing star wars again, and include a bonus if he throws himself off the empire state building.
     
  13. CmdrMitthrawnuruodo

    CmdrMitthrawnuruodo Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Jul 1, 2000
    Gen.Madine's Hairpiece missing! Grand Admiral Jello suspected

    I knew that jiggler was up to no good!

    CmdrMitthrawnuruodo checks into rehab hospital suffering with severe RP withdraw. Doctors professional opinionL "Take up drinking."

    LOL!

    DarthAttorney looses argument and is held in contempt of court for mooning the court reporter.

    ROFL
     
  14. Jansons_Funny_Twin

    Jansons_Funny_Twin Jedi Knight star 6

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2002
    In breaking news, apparently Kevin J. Anderson has been offered contract by LFL.

    Sign it! Sign it, you b******! SIGN IT! [face_laugh]
     
  15. lexu

    lexu Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    May 28, 2002
    Heh...

    Kevin Polluk (sp?): And what's with Yoda and the cane, now? He's all kicking ass for like ten minutes, flying all around, then he's just like 'Rest, I must...' I mean, we saw you fight!
    Conan O'Brien: Yeah, It's like it's part of some insurance scam. 'Backed into me, he did!'
     
  16. Baron_Fel

    Baron_Fel Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 28, 2001
    LOL, I saw that on Conan too.

     
  17. Yomin_Carr

    Yomin_Carr Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 12, 2002
    Thread=funny.
































    No, Yuuzhan Vong comments don't come any better than that.
     
  18. lexu

    lexu Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    May 28, 2002
    Is not our infidel humour offensive to the True Gods?

    I guess you're going to have to try harder, guys.
     
  19. flying_fishi

    flying_fishi Jedi Knight star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 26, 2002
    This fish agrees. She would write something, but is too lazy. She says: maybe later ;)
     
  20. lexu

    lexu Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    May 28, 2002
    Yes, yes. On bahalf of all the lazy bums on this thread that lurk and laugh, but never contribute anything more than smartass remarks:

    Make with the funnies!

    ;)
     
  21. flying_fishi

    flying_fishi Jedi Knight star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 26, 2002
    Er... she says that she is writing something as we speak, and will be finished before her parents get home and kcik her off the computer ;)
     
  22. CmdrMitthrawnuruodo

    CmdrMitthrawnuruodo Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Jul 1, 2000
    In RPF News, Director Kane "PoT" Lavos was seen today with a group of Yuuzhan Vong warriors singing...

    "Put your right leg in, put your right leg out, put your right leg in and shake it all about! Turn around and this is what the Hokey Pokey is all about!"

    The good Director is attempting to brainwash the enemy with Operation: Hokey Pokey. It appears to have been very successful as Yuuzhan Vong drop their amphistaffs and do the Hokey Pokey when the music is played in the middle of the battle field by Imperial forces.

    Warmaster Yun-Yuuzhan had this to say: "Curse you Director Lavos and your cursed dance! You! Stop that! No hokey pokey in the worldship!" We would have interviewed the Warmaster further but he was currently ripping apart several subordinates who had broken out doing the Hokey Pokey.
     
  23. flying_fishi

    flying_fishi Jedi Knight star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 26, 2002
    Hello, and welcome to today?s episode of EUCNN News, presented by me, fishi.

    Regarding the EU Senate, they got absolutely nowhere today. But, we can draw from this the hope that they are styling themselves on the great US government. Fire_Ice_Death, the founder of the institution, was not available for comment. The stripper who answered the door said he was busy.
    Instead, we will interview some of the contenders for the Chancellorship.


    [hl=black]Skylark[/hl]

    Flying Fishi: So, Skylark, how does it feel to be nominated for this prestigious position.
    Skylark: I feel very honoured, fishi. And, turns to camera I solemnly swear to uphold the ideals of democracy and Justice if I am elected. There can be no peace, without Justice, and I would be humbled to be the one to uphold that justice?
    FF: Bloody hell! You?re just like that twit Padme!
    SL: I'm just here to help the EU Community.
    FF: And bring peace between the Imperial Lounge and the Lightsider?s Temple?
    SL: Of course! Anything is possible with negotiation!
    Wildwookie: Negotiate THIS!!!
    Army of MoffelTM soldiers jumps up and they all start shooting at SL
    FF: My interview! You bitch!


    [hl=black]Wildwookie[/hl]

    FF: :mad:
    WW: Hehe? you were saying?
    FF: So, this is your technique for defeating the Senator of Skylark?s Café?
    WW: inspects dead body Correct.
    FF: Well, I agree with the principle, but my commission for that interview is lost. Therefore you must compensate with resources out of your own, Moffly, pocket.
    WW: Okay?
    Door swings open, and Skylark steps in
    SL: Oh no! Friend_of_Skylark, my friend and loyal decoy, they have gotten you too!
    AXL runs in behind her
    AXL: milady it is not safe. you must leave. they may still be here.
    SL: weeps
    SL: The assassins must be found, and then we must negotiate.
    AXL: yes!
    SL: We will negotiate their ears off! We will subvert them with neutral platitudes of the advantages of democracy! We will bore them to sleep!
    AXL: whispers milady that?s the assassin sitting in that chair nearby being interviewed by the siithly reporter.
    FF: talking to WW And that?ll be a small planet - and the moons, must have moons - and a Star Destroyer, and a pocket-sized Death Star?
    SL: Yes! But now my anger has taken a new turn! We must call for?
    SL & AXL: AGGRESSIVE NEGOTIATIONS!!!
    They both leap at WW and FF. The screen goes black.

    ___________\_____/
    ____________\___/
    _____________\_/
    [hl=black]SOMETHING BAD IS HAPPENING!!!!
    SOMETHING BAD IS HAPPENING!!!![/hl]VOLUME
    [hl=black]SOMETHING BAD IS HAPPENING!!!![/hl]<->
    [hl=black]SOMETHING BAD IS HAPPENING!!!![/hl]CHANNEL
    [hl=black]SOMETHING BAD IS HAPPENING!!!![/hl]<->
    [hl=black]SOMETHING BAD IS HAPPENING!!!![/hl]ON
    [hl=black]SOMETHING BAD IS HAPPENING!!!![/hl]OFF
    [hl=black]SOMETHING BAD IS HAPPENING!!!!
    SOMETHING BAD IS HAPPENING!!!!
    SOMETHING BAD IS HAPPENING!!!! [/hl]
     
  24. CmdrMitthrawnuruodo

    CmdrMitthrawnuruodo Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Jul 1, 2000
    And bring peace between the Imperial Lounge and the Lightsider?s Temple?


    Blink, blink We're fighting? Blink, blink Stupid lying Lightsiders!
     
  25. flying_fishi

    flying_fishi Jedi Knight star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 26, 2002
    it's the principal! :p

    Imperials traditionally detest lightsiders. It was the best example I could think of quickly
     
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