Discussion in 'EU Community' started by KansasNavy, Aug 5, 2002.
You're a lightsider aren't you!? Aren't you! Aieeeeee Charges Fishi with a rubber Force Pike
FF: talking to WW[/i] And that?ll be a small planet - and the moons, must have moons - and a Star Destroyer, and a pocket-sized Death Star? [/i]
NO! I am not! I am a Siith!
And here's another dose of New_York_Jedi:
In recent news, after a bitter battle on Jerry Springer and a DNA test, that Jar JAr Binks is the illegimate child of Yun yuuzhn and Waru.
A shocked fan is quoted saying "i allways knew there was somethingspecial about him!"
Another was heard saying "how did such a stupid couple have such a kid?" BTW, this was from someone who was walking in front of the whitehouse wearing a "bush is gonna burn" T- shirt...
And one last bit on this, apparently neither parent is trying to get custody....
[face_shocked] Mitthy! You seem to be ignorant of my promotion to warmaster!
Nah, I just forgot your promotion.
In RPF News, Director Kane "PoT" Lavos was seen today with a group of Yuuzhan Vong warriors singing...
"Put your right leg in, put your right leg out, put your right leg in and shake it all about! Turn around and this is what the Hokey Pokey is all about!"
The good Director is attempting to brainwash the enemy with Operation: Hokey Pokey. It appears to have been very successful as Yuuzhan Vong drop their amphistaffs and do the Hokey Pokey when the music is played in the middle of the battle field by Imperial forces.
Warmaster Yomin Carr had this to say: "Curse you Director Lavos and your cursed dance! You! Stop that! No hokey pokey in the worldship!" We would have interviewed the Warmaster further but he was currently ripping apart several subordinates who had broken out doing the Hokey Pokey.
ORIGENS OF YODA!
In a shocking discovery, it appears if the origins of yoda have been found!
Every young kid knows the fairy tale of the princess kissing the frog...well, now apparently the princess did more than kiss the frog...
the princess is heard saying, " he said he loved me!"
And thats all for know folks...
We would have interviewed the Warmaster further but he was currently ripping apart several subordinates who had broken out doing the Hokey Pokey.
Gen.Madine's Hairpiece missing! Grand Admiral Jello suspected
What? How dare you accuse me without evidence!?
For your information, my hitman did it, not I.
No, wait... I retract that comment.
Gutten tag, and welcome to Mitthy's Talk Show! Today's topics are "I'm a Self-Centered Grand Admiral Who is Overly Obessesed with a Spoon" and "Help! I'm a Newbie with a Big Mouth!"
Our first guest is Grand Admiral Jello...
GAJ: "It's His Imperial Majesty and Supreme Commander of all Imperial forces Emperor Grand Admiral Jello."
Me: "Riiight. Well, HIMaSCoaIf EGAJ tell us why you are here."
GAJ: "You brought Us here against Our will, thats why."
Me: "Besides that."
GAJ: "Oh and because of Mr. Spoon." Shows Mitthy Mr. Spoon which is a nice bright and shiney silver spoon "Say hello to Mr. Spoon."
Me, raises eyebrow: "Uh, Hello Mr. Spoon?"
GAJ: "Yes. Mr. Spoon says he doesn't like you and now will disembowel you." Attacks Mitthy with Mr. Spoon
Me: "Ahh! Rukh help me!"
Rukh, tackles Mr. Spoon and wrestles the spoon back to its seat
GAJ, shocked: "You dare attack Mr. Spoon! Off with your head!" Let's Mr. Spoon behead Rukh
SecGuard, escorts GAJ and Mr. Spoon off the stage: "Alright thats enough, no more disemboweling the Host and Security!"
GAJ: "I am the Emperor and I say when I can leave!"
SecGuard: "Right and I am the President of the United States."
GAJ, blinks as he is being escorted off stage: "You haven't heard the last of me and Mr. Spoon!" Mr. Spoon attempts to harm the Guard
Me: "Whew, that was close. Now for our next guest...Jaco_McCloud. He is a recent addition to the EUC life and the JC itself. A newbie."
Jaco: "I'm not a newbie, damnit!"
Me: "You're registration date says otherwise."
Jaco: "Oh...darn stupid registration date!"
Me: "So, Jaco, is McCloud from Highlander or what?"
Jaco, angry: "I'm Scottish you CENSORED moron!"
Me: "You should watch your language, a Mod might hear and ban you."
Jaco: "So...let the stupid CENSORED ban me! I'm a newbie! I'm invinicible! All bow down to Grand Admiral McCloud! Visit the guild Lounge or be space dust!"
DA: "I heard that! BAN BAN BAN BAN!"
Me: "Who are you?"
Jaco2: "I'm the evil clone of Jaco_McCloud! I demand that you visit the guild Lounge now!"
Me: "Riiight. Maybe later...Oh look times up!" Turns to the camera "Well, I hope you enjoyed todays show..."
GAJ: "Kill them all Mr. Spoon!"
Lots of screaming in the background
Jaco2: "Go take your stupid CENSORED spoon and shove it up your CENSORED!!"
Heh... vewwy farny.
In Today's News:
Hire an Attorney, Sue an Attorney
DarthAttorney was sued by Jaco_McCloud's evil clone Jaco_McCloud2 for banning his original, today.
"I don't know why these newbies keep doing this. They must know to contend with DarthAttorney is to lose." said DarthAttorney when asked what he thought of Jaco sueing him.
EU Senate Doomed?
Fire_Ice_Death returned to the EU Senate today from vacation to discover that the Senate has begun to fall prey to its former failures.
"Why do I keep bringing back the EU Senate? I mean, I have people in the Imperial Lounge betting on its longivity and I am certain someone is out to get me in the Senate." said Fire_Ice_Death while trying to catch up on the happenings with the EUS.
Wildwookiee was arrested today after being mistakened for a streaking Wookiee. Bystanders witnessed a tall humaniod that resembled a Wookiee but missing all of its fur, they then immediately called the local authorities to remove the offending creature.
Upon arrival, authorities found several humans trying to throw cloaks on the Wookiee who was desperately trying to ward them off with grunts and growls and powerful swings of its massive paws.
Only later, after Wildwookiee was taken to the station did the authorties realize that he was merely an abnormally tall human.
Bah! We're working, we're a lot better than the old crew. As I recall, weren't you a part of that debacle, Mitth?
Yes you were. Remember, I gave you that post as my aide for switching your vote in the Mafia?
I still wasn't involved in the debacle that resulted in the downfall of the EU Senate. That was at your own hand, FID.
I'll make two observations...
1. I haven't had a hand in this new incarnation of the EU Senate, outside of a few comments early on.
2. This new EU Senate incarnation is doing unbelieveably well.
? Is there a pattern there?
That depends. What is your favorite food?
Good grief, I've obviously been missing lots of stuff, haven't I?
So Jaco's been banned for cussing, and GAT is doing talk shows now. Wow, how the world changes in the blink of an eyelash.
Imperial Officers rarely transition well to civillian life
(fades back to lurk)
In Today's News:
In a small rural section of the EUC today, several members were discovered wandering the forum muttering fanatical nonsense and practicing ritual sacrifices and doning white uniforms or femanine smuggler outfits with red-gold wigs.
We interviewed several of these unfortunate souls. Here is what the religious leader, Macewindu77815, had to say when asked about the sacrifice of Genghis12; "God speaketh unto me and said: 'Thou shall gather the one who calls thyself Genghis12 and who speaketh blasphemy of My name and Creations and sacrifice him to thy Lord.'"
Inari_Icewalker, a fellow Zahnite, had this to say about her kinsmen; "We are not really a crazy bunch. We just love Timothy Zahn's novels and can not help it if Genghis12 must be sacrificed. He has committed sacrilege for the last time."
Princess_Jaina had this to say; "They scare me."
More in the News:
Intergalactic Sith of Mystery Arrested!
Today EUC authorities just arrested Schemer-in-Chief of Dastardly Plots, DarthCane, for plotting the attacks against the EU Senate this past two weeks. Unfortunately his henchman, the Masked Chiss, remains at large.
"I am glad that this terrorist is now behind bars. Do you know how long it took us to clean the entire Senate Chamber of shaving cream and bubble gum? I still have nightmares about it!" Chancellor's Aide Fire_Ice_Death commented to EUCNN as soon as he heard of the arrest.
DarthAttorney Wins Case!
Today in the JC Supreme Court where DarthAttorney vs Jaco_McCloud was being fought over for the banning of Jaco_McCloud was decided today. Jaco_McCloud lost the case against the veteran Moderator and was fined a double banning.
This is what DarthAttorney had to say: "I won! I won! I won!"
Mr. Spoon Abducted!
Today EUCNN spotted Grand Admiral Jello at the EUC Authority Headquarters reporting the mysterious disappearance of Mr. Spoon, his trusted shiney silver spoon friend. According to Jello, Mr. Spoon was last seen in the Imperial Lounge watching a game of Dejarik between Jello and Grand Admiral Thrawn.
"I want Mr. Spoon returned safely to me." Grand Admiral Jello said, sniffily. "The offenders will suffer for their impudence for I will not rest until I find Mr. Spoon and his spoon-nappers!"
Authorities seek a small furry and chubby teddy like animal in leather. This creature was last seen departing from the Imperial Lounge.
"In the meantime, EUCNN managed to get this comment from the prisoner."
DarthCane: "I guess the Senate hasn't tried getting off their @$$es, or else they'd have told you about the SuperGlue too."
"Fire_Ice_Death confirmed this when he tried to get up for a glass of blue milk and left the bottom of his pants adhered to the chair. Only after he threatened to impeach several senators for giggling while in session did a hysterical aide tell him that he'd been inadvertently mooning the assembly."
For now, this dangerous maniac is in custody. It is reported, however, that the warden of the prison in which the Sith Lord was confined was a former stormtrooper whose posts include traffic checkpoint duty in Mos Eisly.