EUCNN: Now With More Mod Tolerated Spam!

Discussion in 'EU Community' started by KansasNavy, Aug 5, 2002.

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Moderators: Bardan_Jusik, Sinrebirth
  1. Jansons_Funny_Twin Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 31, 2002
    star 6
  2. CmdrMitthrawnuruodo Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 1, 2000
    star 6
  3. Inari_Icewalker Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 23, 2001
    star 2
    Wipes eyes and looks again at the news report.

    I'm on HoloNet News?! OMG! :eek:

    Secretly hopes that new hairstyle she got looked OK to the viewing audience! :p

    [LOL, GAT...who gave you caffeine again?]
  4. CmdrMitthrawnuruodo Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 1, 2000
    star 6
    Its not the caffine! Its the Root Beer! Lol!
  5. Inari_Icewalker Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 23, 2001
    star 2
    Yeah, root beer with a dose of pure caffeine :p LOL
  6. lexu Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 28, 2002
    star 6
    And now, a word from our Sponsers...

    Shot pans to DarthAttorney sitting behind his desk.

    "Greetings, fellow JCers. Suffering from a recent EU debate? Looking for a way around those pesky TOS? Newbies and their dumbass questions just too much to take? Call me, DarthAttorney.

    "'Cuz I can ban your ass."

    Fades to JacoMcCloud, standing on the bridge of a cardboard Star Destroyer...

    "You will come to the Imperial Lounge! You WILL! Die, rebel scum, die! ...and come to the Imperial Lounge! Long live the Empire!

    "That is all."

    Shot changes to GRANDADMIRALAXLROSE perched on a stool in Skylark's Cafe.

    "Hey. Uh, just wanted to say... uh, vote for Skylark. Yeah."

    Shot fad-

    "Wait-wait... I mean, for Chancellor. Right."

    Shot-

    "In the Senate. That is."

    ...

    "That's it."

    Shot fades-

    "No, wait! Er... Yeah, I-

    "I'm confused."

    Shot fades to Jansen's_- um, I mean, Janson's_Funny_Twin standing in front of a rabid mob, glancing around nervously.

    "Eh-" dodges flying chair "-Come to the EUC Non-" get's hit in the head with a shoe "Owe! Um, the Non-Hater Club, where you can express your-" stumbles out of the way as a couple of brawlers shove by in front of the camera "Jesus! Eh, where was I? Right, where you can express your likes about the EU." JFT turns as a man screams "I hate that superweapon-obsessed hutt-loving bastard!" He turns back. "Um... he'll be removed."

    Fades

    Now, back to our program...
  7. Jansons_Funny_Twin Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 31, 2002
    star 6
    LMAOROFLOL!

    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    "I hate that superweapon-obsessed hutt-loving bastard!"

    Uh, yeah, I was afraids of that. :p

    Shot fades to Jansen's_- um, I mean, Janson's_Funny_Twin

    Har-dee-har-har. :p
  8. flying_fishi Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2002
    star 6
    "Hey. Uh, just wanted to say... uh, vote for Skylark. Yeah."


    WTF? That sentence has capitals! And even punctuation! That's not AXL... it's an imposter! :p
  9. CmdrMitthrawnuruodo Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 1, 2000
    star 6
    In Today's News:

    Imperial Issued Pink Bunny Slippers?

    EUCNN gladly reports that an anonymous Lieutenant of the Imperial Navy and stationed on board the SSD Executor sent us a holo-recording of Admiral Firmus "Firm-Ass" Piett wearing a pair of un-regularitory pink bunny slippers while on-duty inside the Command Bridge.

    "When I first saw the Admiral and his slippers, my first immediate thought was 'Mother of skies, Piett's gay!!'" Commented our anonymous Lieutenant.

    When EUCNN asked Admiral Piett why he wore them this is what he had to say; "They are a kriffin' lot more comfortable then those bloody boots! Now where is that Lieutenant..."

    "I think they are cute." Lord Vader said after he overheard the interview.

    Lexuative

    Yesterday, DarthCane escaped from the EUC Prison Facility after giving the Prison Guard, Lexu, a bottle of Laxitive marked as Corellian whiskey. According to sources, while Lexu was busy at the john, DarthCane snuck out in the middle of the night.

    "I didn't understand why I was in the refresher all night long. I didn't drink or eat anything that could have given me the ***** so bad." Commented Lexu who later showed surprise as EUCNN showed her the whiskey bottle was actually a bottle of Laxitive. "I'll never drink whiskey again!"

    Hokey Pokey Invades the Modship

    EUCNN has learned that Protege-of-Thrawn was able to infect several Moderators with his Hokey Pokeyness after several reports were leaked to our headquarters of Moderators doing the Hokey Pokey on board their Modship the Moffinator.

    "Turn around and do the Hokey Pokey and thats what its all about! Yeah!" Said manager Lord Bane after spinning around in a circle and wiggling his entire body. Unable to understand the Mod, EUCNN has employed the interpertation talents of Genghis12.

    "Uh, are you certain you want me to translate that?" Genghis12 said. "I mean, what he's saying he is going to do to PoT isn't all that pretty or appropriate for this board."
  10. Jansons_Funny_Twin Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 31, 2002
    star 6
    Commented Lexu who later showed surprise as EUCNN showed him the whiskey bottle was actually a bottle of Laxitive.

    Him? ?[face_plain]

    Dude, you got too options:

    1) Change it to "her"

    or

    2) Start running to Mexico.


    Cause if you don't she'll kill you. :p

    *Steps aside while the carnage ensues*
  11. CmdrMitthrawnuruodo Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 1, 2000
    star 6
  12. Jansons_Funny_Twin Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 31, 2002
    star 6
    Awww, change it back, I wanna see blood!

    :p
  13. lexu Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 28, 2002
    star 6
    LOL

    Why did I get the poop story? :(

    :p

    Yep, I'm a chick. Thanks, JFT, for catching that and saving me the trouble of threatening his life. I mean, murder is all fun in the beginning, the hacking and bludgeoning and whatnot, but I can never decide on what to do with the body...
  14. flying_fishi Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2002
    star 6
    "When I first saw the Admiral and his slippers, my first immediate thought was 'Mother of skies, Piett's gay!!'

    Hehehe...

    "I think they are cute." Lord Vader said after he overheard the interview.

    Heeheehee...




    Afkashjsahdahsfpasfhlpahf;ahflah;sflfhk;safajgsf;afahf;klfh;aksfhhksafklahslfhaklf;saf









    Soory, WAY too much sugar. I'm feeling kinda floaty...
  15. Donaldson Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 15, 2000
    star 4
    WRROOAARRRGHHHH ARFFF ARRFFF ARRRFFF

    ((Pretty funny, Har Har Har))
  16. CmdrMitthrawnuruodo Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 1, 2000
    star 6
    Why did I get the poop story?

    Sorry, its nothing against you. Just your name 'lexu' caused you to have the poop story. :D 8-}
  17. GRANDADMIRALAXLROSE Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 8, 2002
    star 7
    Whoa how did i get here.

    AXL.
  18. lexu Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 28, 2002
    star 6
    AXL: You're just inspiring, I guess. :D

    Mitthy: That's all right. I'll get you back... ;)
  19. CmdrMitthrawnuruodo Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 1, 2000
    star 6
  20. lexu Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 28, 2002
    star 6
    No. Perhaps a goosebump or two. *shrugs*
  21. CmdrMitthrawnuruodo Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 1, 2000
    star 6
    Lol! Well I definately have the goosebumps.
  22. Inari_Icewalker Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 23, 2001
    star 2
    Eats gooseberries, watches the collective goosebumps going around, gives her Canada goose some corn, and waits for the next newsflush...erm, flash.

    :D
  23. Dark_Army Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Aug 31, 2002
    Arise!

    Despite a recent work stoppage at EUCNN, we have continued to gather the latest stories. The most shocking event this weekend has been incredibly weird situation that began at the EUDF Headquarters and soon moved to the Outlander Club.

    "The chaos started Friday evening when a clone of EUDF Captain flying_fishi, deviously registered as flying-fishi, appeared and dismembered EUDF member C-3PX. The clone then went insane and proceeded to the Outlander Club, where a massive chase ensued as the clone hid among several contraband casks of Mad Mrelf. Club proprietor Sturm_Antilles was unavailable for comment on both the clone and the illegal booze, which disappeared before the arrival of law-enforcement officials. flying_fishi's comment on the matter:

    fishi: "Would somebody shoot my bloody clone? No, not me, the clone! The one without the asteriks in the sig. No, that's me, the clone's the one with the asteriks and the dash in the name! Oh, just give me the damn gun, I'll do it myself!"

    "A party of freelance bounty hunters and other drunken wackos proceeded to chase the swoop-riding clone through the skylanes of Coruscant by any means of transportation available, including clawcraft, swoops, and an eopie named Mortimer. The irregular posse captured the clone, which was then mysteriously assassinated by the use of a Xerrol Nightstinger sniper rifle wielded by parties unknown before a team of voxyn handlers, disgruntled dentists, and IT-0 droids could be put to use. The body of the clone was taken below and thrown in the pantry freezer for further examination, after which the hunters celebrated by getting roaring drunk and dancing around the roof with holo-targets attached to their pants while looking around for some nutjob with a knife to perform the autopsy."

    "Last night, a concentrated assault by clone commandos first destroyed the body of the clone (along with a year's supply of Sturm's Womprat Stew, Mynock Salad, and Extra-Meaty Nerfburgers) and then proceeded to lay waste to the club and many of its patrons. The arrival of the police was delayed by a 99-centicred special at the local Dunkin' Donuts, although reports say a mysterious force of Jedi/Mandolorian commandos arrived and killed the clones, also doing significant damage to the club through gunship strafing runs using rockets, bombs, lasers, napalm, and the kitchen sink. "

    "Examination of the remains (done before the Outlander Club cook could arrive) revealed that nearly every male member of the club had several duplicates in the clone army. One patron, who wished not to be identified although we'll show his face on galactic HoloNet anyway, was giving EUCNN his opinion on the matter."

    "It stinks!"

    "A sniper blast unfortunately cut off the rest of what should have been a verbose, interesting, and highly profane tirade, as well as most of the man's head. Luckily, the vapid talking head interviewing him was able to duck out of the way of the gore splatter and save her hairdo."

    "Several known sock-loving frequent RPers have been suggested as the culprit in this series of depraved incidents, and Coruscant security is diligently investigating the case, after the donut special is over next month of course."

    "What will this madman do next? Create more clones? Infiltrate the Senate? Bomb the EUDF? Pour TurboLax into the planetary reservoir? Stay tuned, and stay panicked!"

    (Aaand . . . cut. That's a wrap) [face_devil]



  24. Darth_Inferno Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 27, 2001
    star 1
    An invisible energy bolt blows off the head of Dark_Army
  25. Yomin_Carr Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2002
    star 4
    *points and laughs at Mitth's sock*
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