EUCNN: We're the Network you wish you were!

Hello!
I am Guinastasia, Senator for the Face Loran and Ton Phanan Appreciation Society and as of now, the Minister of Public Relations for the EU Senate.

What this thread IS:
-a way to keep in touch with the goings on in the EUC-without slagging our way through each and every thread. Yeah, I know, we're Star Wars Geeks, but surely SOME of us have a life!
-a place to ask questions about the EUC, the Senate, and for the Minister of PR (as of now, that's me!) to keep you up to date, so you don't have to again, go through the entire thread. Proposals, elections, campaigns, super happy nekkid org-er, nevermind that last one!
-Possible interviews, articles and essays with Senate members, thread owners, etc.

What this thread is NOT:
-A second Senate thread. Though this is a Senate voted project, it is to encompass the entire EUC.
-A social thread. Take it somewhere else!
-A place to SPAM.

Finally, please get yourself aquainted with the EU Senate Site. Read up on the rules, the FAQs and our Constitution. This will clear up any questions you have about us.

Any questions, comments, please feel free! Hope to hear from you soon!

MTFBWY,
-Guinastasia, Senator for FLTPAS and Minister of Public Relations.

 

Greetings, Guin! I'm so glad this little project of ours got up and running. I hope that this will be a good way for us all to catch up on the goings-on here in the EUC.

~*Ambyr-Rose*~
Founder and Senator of JTH

 

Hola! This is the Senator for the New Jedi Order Fan Club and guy in charge of writing, coding, typing, and making the EUCNN Newbar®. This project, spawned by our Humour chief, lexu, is part of the many humourous things the EU Senate is trying to implement in this thread. Once a week, a new EUCNN Newsbar® will be posted by me, for all EUC'ers enjoyment. I hope you all like them!

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[i][u][b] |[color=blue]EUCNN[/color]| Gandolf the Grey denies reports he deliberately broke his account to stop the barbs about his poor speeling skills |[color=blue]EUCNN[/color]| Newsbar writer fails to notice speeling mistak |[color=blue]EUCNN[/color]| Newsbar writer discovers speelchecker |[color=blue]EUCNN[/color]| Newsbar writer figures out how to work speelchecker |[color=blue]EUCNN[/color]| Newsbar writer assassinates fool who changed correct speeling of speelchecker |[color=blue]EUCNN[/color]| Newsbar writer finally spells spellchecker correctly. |[color=blue]EUCNN[/color]| Newsbar writer tests whether [color=chartreuse]coloured[/color] text is distracting |[color=blue]EUCNN[/color]| [color=yellow]Yes, it is[/color] |[color=blue]EUCNN[/color]| Newsbar item cuts off abrup |[color=blue]EUCNN[/color]| JC?er bitterly disappointed when they find another JC?er looks nothing like their icon |[color=blue]EUCNN[/color]| JC?er?s real age differs greatly from one given in profile |[color=blue]EUCNN[/color]| Lucas declares EU officially canon ? proof in new ?Star Wars Tales? story |[color=blue]EUCNN[/color]| John Smith opens Hotmail account to join the JC and is offered johnsmith299040545@hotmail.com |[color=blue]EUCNN[/color]| The Empire struck back |[color=blue]EUCNN[/color]| Wedge Antilles pulls Rogue Squadron through another "suicide mission" with no losses |[color=blue]EUCNN[/color]| F.A.D.A. members finally concede that Anakin might not be coming back |[color=blue]EUCNN[/color]| JC?er messes up [b]markup code[b] |[color=blue]EUCNN[/color]| JC?er forgets to put space in front of emoticon:P |[color=blue]EUCNN[/color]| [/i][/u][/b]

 

Good to see resources well spent.

 

And now for the (fake) News...

This week a JCer beloved by all [UID excluded due to ongoing blackmail] was tragically banned outside the 3SA forum. Security Administrator, Grilled-Sarlacc, who was interrupted by this event whilst uploading six more Padme icons and misusing Aussie slang, is currently investigating. When interviewed, he indicated to the likelihood of yet another case of Jar Jar-related violence. "It was definitely pre-meditated. Clues are beginning to surface which indicate a suicide spamming, fair dinkum," explained G-S. Rumors that this tragedy was masterminded by EUCNN in order to produce 'shock news' have been systematically killed off.

In local news, the debate continues to rage over role playing in the EUC. Arguments were debunked, accusations flew, swords and blasters were drawn. In the end, it was determined that 16 Constitution points was absurd for a Rodian.

Breaking News: Goatse is not funny.

Gandolf the Grey was recently found wandering the mean streets of the sparsely occupied Games: TCG forum. While the Administration is working to keep this story behind closed boards, EUCNN has learned the Gandolf "sock" unleashed allegations against the 'imposter,' Raven, claiming Raven is actually a Yuuzhan Vong alter-persona, a result of botched shaping. Mod Squad is currently attempting to combine the two individuals with hopes of creating a 'super Admin,' which will be greater than it's separate parts. So far results suggest the opposite of this theory.

And now for Feedback:

This PM from Narundi_Jedi:

Dear lexu,
I found yesterday's piece, "_________" to be quite distasteful, as well as inaccurate. Your research skills are clearly lacking.
-NJ

Well, NJ, I'd like to call attention to this segment:

"_________________________________________ ______________________________________________"

If that's not fine reporting, I don't know what is. In addition, I had homework, so screw you all.

Next, from GRANDADMIRALAXLROSE:

Lexu,
what the hell si this place?
Sincerely,
Axl

That's a great question, Axl. This is a cheap, altered knock-off of the original and classic EUCNN, invented by farrie (or some other bitter oldbie). I'd find a link, but I'm too lazy. Basically, all you have to do is read, enjoy, and don't post unless you're wildly funny, or have a controversial statement to make which will hike up our ratings.


That's all for the (fake) News this evening. This is lexu, signing out.

EUCNN: News That Almost Matters

 

Anata Baka?!

 

Well done lexu and IF!

And thanks for starting this new thread, Guin.

 

know i see a good idea, that like everything else, gets spammed to death

 

To counter the increasing threat of made for TV movies, the EUCNN has hired me to create counter programming for the Jessica Lynch and Elizabeth Smart stories.

After much contemplation I decided to blow the whole budget on liquor and women.

Here we go then, delayed one day on account of hangover but still probably as funny as it ever was.

And now...


Crossfire: Canon wars

Welcome, few of you know what this is so let me explain. In the beginning, the mods created the EUC, and they saw it was good. Then the users entered and created the Senate, which was bad. The Senate begat the Chancellorship, which was good. The Chancellorship begat infighting, which was bad. The infighting begat coups, which was good. The coups begat flames, which was bad. The flames begat satire, which was good. The satire begat the EUCNN, which was morally ambivalent. The EUCNN begat endless jokes shamelessly stolen from other sources, which was...

fdy: Okay this could go on forever. Instead lets just introduce this weeks panel, most of which may survive.
In the left seat, weighing in at 37 decibels, dp4m.

dp4m: I'd just like to clarify, despite my left seatedness, I am not actually a left footer, not that there's anything wrong with that.

fdy: Teamed with him is the terror of people named Zahn everywhere, Genghis12.

G12: Zaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhn!!

fdy: Thank you Mr. Shatner. On the other side, Dark Lady Mara.

DLM: Let's rock n' roll.

fdy: And her completely unnecessary teammate, DarthSapient

DS: Hey, I'm not totally irrelevant!

fdy: Keep telling yourself that, now, lets set the ground rules.


fdy: Now that that's out of the way, it's time to start the canon war.

dp4m: No fair, an attractive woman is on your side.

DLM: So is G*d.

G12: Leave Lucas out of this!

DS: All the attractive women are on our side.

fdy: Well I'm convinced, the Purists win.

dp: Hey that isn't fair, you're supposed to moderate the debate, you're not allowed to take sides!

<embarrassed silence by all>

fdy: Uh right, so... the EU is not canon, discuss.

dp4m: That?s not fair it has been made clear repeatedly by a vast many sources both inside LFL and elsewhere that.... oh... wow.

g12: Hey you were on a roll what happened.

fdy: He appears to have been distracted by DLM exposing her stomach.

g12: No fair! Illegal use of a midriff! Red Card!

DS: She made a fair move. Screaming about it won't help you.

DLM: The EU isn't Canon, don't you agree?

dp4m: Yes, anything you say...

fdy: Sorry DLM you're not allowed to Veela your opponents, I'm going to have to eject you from the discussion, please wait in my, um, bedroom. <DLM leaves>

DS: Yes! Finally my chance to shine!

G12: What about this poor sob?

dp4m: mmmmm so belly buttony...

fdy: I suppose we can always dunk him in cold water, although my producers are telling me we aren't allowed to hold his head in, well I suppose you can't have everything. <dp4m escorted away> Now, if you two are ready... fight!

DS: Lucas in Cinescape called the EU a parallel universe, parallel lines never intersect, therefore the EU does not intersect with Lucas's canon.

fdy: Excellent point, rebuttal?

G12: Bite me.

fdy: Harsh... but fair, Sape?

DS: Wait, that wasn't an argument at all, he just flamed me!

fdy: Please try and stay on topic Sape.

DS: But he...! Fine! Lucas says that....

G12: Lucas says you're ugly and yo' momma dresses you funny.

fdy: Oh he said yo' momma, you gonna take that?

DS: Bloody hell this isn't a canon debate, it's just flaming and baiting!

<crickets>

fdy: <cough> Yes well, be that as it may he's still winning.

DS: Oh yeah well... well... he uh.. he smells... uh bad

G12: I.. I can't believe you said that!

fdy: That was really uncalled for Sape, consider yourself thrown out.

DS: But I? But but but, that's not fai...

fdy: I think you should leave now.

DS: Oh yeah.. oh yeah... well **** you buddy! **** you and your horse and your dog and your Gr

 

I_F: F.A.D.A. members finally concede that Anakin might not be coming back




lexu

lol nicely done


farraday

 

Ahh... good to see EUCNN operating again

Good job to everybody so far!

 

Lol, I_F. I think you're comment about F.A.D.A fans realising that Anakin might not be coming back after all was the best (probably because I have a personal thing about people not accepting Anakin's death).

 

Excellent.

 

farraday called me a purist. *sniff*

Oh well, I suppose he can still make it up to me in overtime.

 

Aaahhhaahahahaha!!!! *tears stream down her face* Thanks, I needed a good laugh!

 

LOL Glad this is back and running.

You need to get an on the spot reporter for the Defender/Sith wars coming up...



Now whats this?!?!?! FADA finally relized Anakin's not coming back?!?!? And they figured that out when?

 

Hey now, I'm a member of FADA!

But it was funny.

~*Ambyr-Rose*~

 

The return of the EUCNN is great news for the EUC forum. Good job to everyone who has contributed and will contibute in the future.

[image=http://www.shatnerology.com/image/sh_toup.jpg] - "Zaaahhhhhhhhnnnnnn!"

 

^ !

 

Genghis, you just brought the frightening thought of Shatner in SW to mind.

*runs and hides*

 

Gods help us all

 

F.A.D.A. members finally concede that Anakin might not be coming back

I was never informed of that!!!!

The FADA Minister for Insanity, Lunacy and Fanaticism asks for a poll to be taken to find out the truth of said statement.

 

HAH!! some maybe, but TRUE FADA'ers dont believe that one bit!!! He lives!!!!

 

Sadly mistaken, we never conceded anything.

 

I think we need a support group for those who refuse to belive Anakin is dead.

I know it's hard to accept it, but he is gone.

When's the next "update"

?