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London, ON Euro English: Fun stuff

Discussion in 'Canada Discussion Boards' started by Primrodo, Oct 12, 2002.

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  1. Primrodo

    Primrodo Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 23, 2002
    Hey this was delievered via email a bit back, I got a laugh at it :)

    EURO ENGLISH

    The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).

    In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be replaced with "k." Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.

    There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.

    In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.

    By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "W" by "V". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors; be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil b no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru.

    :)
     
  2. Admiral_Thrawn60

    Admiral_Thrawn60 Jedi Youngling star 6

    Registered:
    Jul 8, 2000
    After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil b no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru.

    That's how I talked when I moved to Canada. It seems that they've actually compromised, and are making German-English the official language. :p
     
  3. Primrodo

    Primrodo Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 23, 2002
    LOL!

    Thought you'd get a kick out of it ;)
     
  4. Lelila

    Lelila Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 16, 1999
    LOL I get it :) Very cute!
     
  5. Darth_Digital

    Darth_Digital Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 29, 2001
    *Shakes fisted hand in the air*

    Fluch! Sie haben die wahrheit entdeck!

    :p
     
  6. JediWarrior

    JediWarrior Jedi Knight star 6

    Registered:
    Jun 7, 2000
    Who won the bloody war anyways?!? :mad:
    //Basil Fawlty

    :p
     
  7. Primrodo

    Primrodo Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 23, 2002
    The Lemmings did didn't they?
     
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