Saga Even Jedi Cry. Drama AU Author note added 121411

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Valairy Scot, Apr 21, 2009.

Moderators: Briannakin, mavjade
  1. dimyavie Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 3, 2006
    star 1
    I'm still working through your updates ;) I loved this chapter and this section:

    ?He was never arrogant!? The protest burst out of him without thought, the words of a master feeling his apprentice was being wronged. ?Headstrong, reckless, yes; tart-tongued because to be otherwise betrayed the tender heart within because ?? because a tender heart was too easily bruised. So a shell of sarcasm, of dry wit became the means to conceal that which lay within.

    stuck with me, it is so true of Obi-Wan, and I love that Qui-Gon still defended him. The ending of this chapter was powerful too, that Jedi can't cry - wonderful! Thanks so much!
  2. charie Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 6, 2007
    star 2
    Yes!!!! Qui-gon is coming around the manipulations isnt he? Great ending to that chap. More soon?[face_love]
  3. TheMacUnleashed Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 2, 2009
    star 4
    Oh, my... only one character that I can think of with "raven locks" and "fair skin," one that would also have a grudge against Obi-Wan... very interesting chapter(s), Val. I loved the last sentence; perfect way to draw things full circle -the only question is, what happens next? [face_batting]

    Thanks so much for keeping me updated with PM's!
  4. Valairy Scot Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 5
    shadowkey This IS Obi?s story, so he?s coming up in spades now that I?ve set up the background for what?s coming.

    obimom You actually revealed quite a bit here... Did I now? I caution you, this was all Anakin?s POV and ?memories? of when he was a fair bit younger than 9.

    earlybird-obi-wan Or maybe Anakin is an angel in devil?s disguise, molded and shaped by a Sith?

    The1stJediPrincess Anakin, I feel bad for you. But man up and tell Qui-Gon the truth! Don't lie about Obi-Wan like that Give the boy some credit ? he?s starting to feel guilty, starting to remember his mother?s lessons. He can?t ?reform? over night.

    serendipityaey Anakin?s sputtering towards a realization of his bad behavior; Qui-Gon is gaining some clarity of thought. Both good. Let?s hope with good rather than dismal consequences.

    gkilkenny Obi-Wan liked using that phrase but I suspect it was aimed at himself. He believed he was a pathetic life-form and it was his master who collected him and gave him a place like the other pathetic ones Qui-Gon picked up and yet let go when they revealed just how pathetic they were. Oh, I think it was a boyish affectation that became a ?signature line.? I would suspect Qui-Gon would usually throw a sideways long-suffering look at Obi-Wan, who would grin internally because both knew it was a bit of a joke, invoking a younger Obi-Wan who had not the depth of an older Obi-Wan. Qui-Gon probably did not appreciate the epithet, but never really called Obi on it since he knew it was not said in serious annoyance.

    Besides, he was rather tactless with Jar Jar upon first meeting, so he?s no stranger to things tripping out of his own mouth.

    Valiowk Visions, whispers of the Force, hopeful thinking?don?t over analyze Sid?s words. He thinks he?s privy to most of the future if he manipulates it well.

    Interesting descriptions of Qui-Gon, Padmé and Jar-Jar - "the Jedi, the Angel and the Jester". What a vivid picture this portrays of how strange their arrival must have seemed to Anakin at that time! When that phrase struck me it just landed like a ton of bricks. Must use! Will use! Did use!

    Love the contrast between what Anakin tells himself is the truth and what Sidious claims happened. You skillfully weave your way between the two claims, blending them together, until the reader too can feel Anakin's confusion at what actually is the truth and the effort he makes to distinguish what he wishes to believe is the truth from Sidious' version. Great, because I *want* the readers just as confused as to what is truth, what is a ?certain truth from a certain POV? and what is blatant falsehood or distortion. There?s a bit of each in the story. [face_whistling]

    The_Zeltron I so hope Qui-Gon isn't going to push off his memories and thoughts about them. This is going to be tricky Qui-handling because I?m not ready for him to face the truth yet.

    Dimyavie I love how Qui's unconscious still fights the idea that Obi is evil and questions everything [:D] I know I?ve been accused (not here) of Qui-bashing and that I?ve all but enticed my readers to join in, but even I was taken aback by the amount of Qui-anger I aroused. You see what I wanted so subtly to show as the story developed ? this is not mean Qui, this is mean-Qui behavior.

    Yes, Anakin and Qui both were somewhat painted with a ?mean? brush near to caricature, but I?ve always said things are not always what they appear.

    So a shell of sarcasm, of dry wit became the means to conceal that which lay within.??stuck with me, it is so true of Obi-Wan, and I love that Qui-Gon still defended him. Well, I?m far from as noble and humble as our Obi, but I do self-identify with a fair number of his traits (Anakin, too, sigh) so I understand how one is vs how one appears can be entirely different. If one only sees/focuses/hears the sarcasm and stuff, one appears mean and cold.

    IMHO a lot of Obi-bashers
  5. obimom Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 31, 2010
    star 4
    What can I say??

    So much..as painful as that was, Obi-Wan needed that reprimand from Mace...

    But he still thinks he's not the Jedi he should be. The scene with Dooku and Obi was so heart wrenching...poor Obi, still thinking Qui-Gon is better than he is, even after all this. I loved Dooku...he reminded me of a surgeon, cutting deep into the truth of the matter...and thats gotta hurt.

    Ah, BB, naughty, naughty BB, plotting against the Boss, as well as planning to dis-obey...tsk, tsk, will he ever learn?

    As I said earlier, Val, it was ridiculous how excited I got when I saw that you updated...

    Loved the felinoid, too. I have a story idea that involves Obi and a cat, been toying with it for awhile...

    Me??? Not post my Siriwans??? [face_whistling]

    Ohh..forgot to say this: He's thinking of Siri...he needs her!!!:_|
  6. katie9918 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 28, 2002
    star 1
    I knew Qui-Gon wasn't the one who beat Obi-Wan up! He couldn't have been that far gone!

    Fantastic, all of these previous few chapters! I think I missed some of them, though.
  7. Valiowk Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 23, 2000
    star 6
    Great chapter, Valairy! It's good to see Obi-Wan and Mace conversing again, even if Obi-Wan is still a long way from regaining his confidence. (And just the thing to lift my spirits after worrying about the results of my qualifying exams for the past four days! :) )

    Such goodness in these paragraphs! [face_love] The image of a young Mace trying to tip a food tray onto Yoda... [face_laugh] And indeed, there is definitely something unique about Yoda's line... [face_thinking]

    What an interesting revelation this must be to Obi-Wan. I can definitely understand why he's not yet prepared to accept this explanation. But hopefully Dooku's words will slowly make Obi-Wan question whether the opinions he's held so far about his and Qui-Gon's roles in this entire affair are actually accurate...

    If Count Dooku can let Obi-Wan understand that what's happening is not "the will of the Force", then that's definitely a big step made. I wonder if grand-Master and grand-Padawan will ever feel completely comfortable in each other's presence, but some help is definitely better than none.

    For once, I can't help but feel bad for Qui-Gon, whose "bewildered horror" was clearly misunderstood... :(

    Looking forward to seeing what happens next! :)
  8. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4
    Ok - I was maybe expecting Count?. Dracula.[face_devil] Instead we have a very sensible and insightful master, who is making Obi-Wan use that wonderful brain of his and together I?m sure they may come up with an answer or a possible reason for Qui-Gon?s weird behaviour. I like your version of Dooku.:cool:

    BB is in for a shock, I wonder if he knows that Obi-Wan isn?t there anymore. However I would like to see him steal Anakin, maybe without Ani's influence Qui-Gon may come to his senses.


    So he gave in to the moment and the demand, merely sitting, a finger of one hand scratching the slightly battered ears of the old felinoid who seemed to have adopted him.

    A low rumble of pleasure was followed by a tap of a paw against his thigh. Obligingly, he moved into a cross legged position as ten pounds of warm fur jumped lightly into his lap, turned around and around several times before settling down to gaze up at him through half-slitted eyes, all six paws kneading the fabric of his leggings.


    Oh brilliant, you?ve given your kitty cat a part in this story? Ok how much did you have to pay her for permission to use her movements? Although I?m pretty sure your sweet furry friend doesn?t have six paws.:D


    =D=
  9. earlybird-obi-wan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
    your cat is in the story and with Dooku as a nice guy this time.

    BB should be kept far from Obi and Siri should return to help after her undercover mission. She might have learnt some pirate tricks;)
  10. serendipityaey Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 24, 2004
    star 4
    Great update! Happy to see more of Obi-Wan :)
  11. The_Zeltron Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 29, 2010
    star 6
    Great update, Val!=D=:D I really liked Dooku and Obi-Wan's talk. Can't wait to see what Obi-Wan will decide about it.:)


    Thanks for the PM! I'm so sorry about the long time it took me to read and review.[:D]
  12. Valairy Scot Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 5
    obimom The scene with Dooku and Obi was so heart wrenching...poor Obi, still thinking Qui-Gon is better than he is, even after all this. So, Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon have found agreement, right? Story?s over ? Qui-Gon served the Force and all that. Obi stood in the way. Nuff said.

    katie9918Well, if you missed some, it?s your own fault :p ? you?re the one who said I didn?t need to PM you.

    Valiowk (And just the thing to lift my spirits after worrying about the results of my qualifying exams for the past four days!) For what, pray tell? I?d wish you good luck but you?ll be done before you read this.

    For once, I can't help but feel bad for Qui-Gon, whose "bewildered horror" was clearly misunderstood... By whom? Qui was overcome by ?bewildered horror? at almost striking Obi-Wan. Even he realized how out of character that was.

    gkilkenny Ok - I was maybe expecting Count?. Dracula. Really? The esteemed Jedi master may not like that description.

    BB is in for a shock, I wonder if he knows that Obi-Wan isn?t there anymore. However I would like to see him steal Anakin, maybe without Ani's influence Qui-Gon may come to his senses. Hee, I?d like to see that, too. With Obi to the rescue.

    Oh brilliant, you?ve given your kitty cat a part in this story? Ok how much did you have to pay her for permission to use her movements? Him. Or IT. And he doesn?t have raggedy ears, but tufted one (and paws) like he?s part bobcat.

    earlybird-obi-wanSam? Nah, he?s not really in it. I originally had a dog playing that role, which may or may not appear, but I didn?t want to slight the felines, either.

    BB should be kept far from Obi and Siri should return to help after her undercover mission BB SHOULD be?[face_whistling] and Siri ? well, she?s a pivotal factor in what?s to come ? and DO NOT get excited about that. Yet.

    serendipityaey: We'll be seeing a lot more of Obi-Wan along with others.

    The_Zeltron: You're assuming Obi-Wan will be in a position to think on Dooku's words.

    Deb, a/k/a Obi-Mom: @};- for your thoughts via PM and email. You've helped a lot in trying to put a lot (of background which you'll never see) together.

    Note: because this chapter is quite long, but still logically a chapter, I'm going to post it in two posts, right after the other. Editing for italics & all that will follow once both parts are posted in case anyone jumps right on this.



    Chapter 56. A New Truth Revealed


    Obi-Wan let out a little laugh, a half sob in the privacy of his room.

    What must Master Dooku think of him now? So self-absorbed, so self-pitying, he had never once thought to think, to analyze the situation he had found himself in. It was past time for him to be shaken out of his preoccupation with himself.

    Obi-Wan passed a hand over his eyes and admitted it. It was not all about him. It never had been. The Qui-Gon Jinn who had callously flung him aside ? was only the Qui-Gon Jinn of his bruised ego and hurt pride. He had deluded himself and how many others as well? He knew Qui-Gon Jinn; knew the man and the Jedi he was. He was a man who stood for the Force and against anything that tried to thwart its will.

    Even if that opposition was the Council, or common wisdom, or even his doubting padawan, Qui-Gon Jinn did not falter.

    All else fell to the wayside. Even Obi-Wan Kenobi, if necessary.

    And in his misguided humiliation, he had dragged so many with him and his deluded visions, his shamefully selfish bruised feelings.

    Master Windu and Master Yoda. Now Master Dooku. And, worse of all, Anakin Skywalker. The Force itself had placed the boy in their path. Whereas he would have stepped around what he had seen as an obstacle, Qui-Gon had stopped and extended a hand to one he had known was the Force?s gift to the galaxy.

    The Qui-Gon Jinn who had stood up for the Force and the Force?s Chosen One even as he had opposed it, stood i
  13. Valairy Scot Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 5
    Nearly over, nearly done.

    Jedi Master Dooku tapped a finger against the magnificent Al?dara wood desk in the library. With a quick scrawl of his name and a thumbprint, he would soon relinquish all claims to his ancestral estate.

    It had taken a rare alignment of circumstance to bring him here. He was the son of an off-shoot branch of the family and a son so long ago relinquished to the care of the Jedi that none of his immediate family remained. Here he would have found success through the vagaries of birth, death and the rules of inheritance whereas he was used to finding a modicum of success and recognition in those deeds he accomplished in the service of the Force.

    Luck, not honor, could have placed him here; to the title ascended, not earned.

    Count Dooku.

    It had a ring to it, he had to admit, but the temptation paled against that offered by the Force. Let another be Count in his stead. Let that one serve Serenno; he would serve the Force.

    If he understood correctly, the next in line was a cousin of some sort: his mother?s sister?s son who was also his father?s grandfather?s great-grandson. Or some such. The intricacies of nobility were not beyond a diplomat of his years of experience, but otherwise bored him. A schemer and a scoundrel on the surface, but schemers and scoundrels were part and parcel of the noble Houses. This one, at least, was reputed to be a cheerful rogue. He would no doubt drink the cellars dry in a decade, but he could not gamble the House or its fortune away.

    Legal restrictions saw to that.

    After a quick glance at his wrist chrono, Dooku swiveled in his seat to admire the view outside the ceiling to floor windows. Framed by heavy, thick draperies, a rustic looking terrastone terrace led to the Rose Garden. Awash in nearly every shade imaginable, this all but shaded the formal lawns beyond from view except from the upper floors. A copse of trees with a meandering brook was further yet, near the estate boundary.

    Much further lay pastures and beyond that rolling hills that led to an unimpressive mountain range.

    Perhaps I should have brought Qui-Gon; so submerged within his Living Force here, no doubt all nonsense would be driven right out of his so-called mind.

    Or perhaps it would ease the troubled spirit of the young man barely visible, hugging his knees as he stared into the distance.

    I should like to join him and see if I can build upon the tentative relationship he?s beginning to accept. It is well I took him off Mace and Yoda?s hands for a while.

    He had time, and upon the thought, Dooku rose and moved to a terrace chair where young Obi-Wan could gracefully ignore him, or not.

    ?Serenno is quite beautiful.? The melodic voice drifted to him shortly as the young Jedi stretched, then wrapped his arms around his knees once more. ?Thank you for bringing me here.?

    ?Wind and sky sometimes heal as much as time and bacta bandages.?

    Obi-Wan lifted his head and pondered the comment, then tilted his head to one side. ?I never heard you were a philosopher as well as a skilled swordsman and master diplomat.?

    ?A good Jedi is a combination of many things, Obi-Wan, including the unexpected.?

    Obi-Wan uncurled and leaned back on his elbow, nodding, then with a sudden mischievous smile to light the so-far-solemn countenance inquired, ?Well, then, have you ever heard the sound of angels? wings??

    ?What??

    A sideways glance accompanied his half-embarrassed confession. ?It?s one of the ways I used to perceive the Force. The leaves rustling in the breeze reminds me of that sound. I think the Crèche-master had been reading some fanciful tales that stuck in my imagination.? He shrugged self-consciously. ?I used to say I felt rainbows and heard angels? wings when I really connected with the Force, though once I got a little older, I was less quick to voice such a description. I was ? mocked, by a few?.?

    ?Ah.? Dooku nodded, then suddenly chortled and slapped his knee. ?I had all but forgotten; I wonder if I shou
  14. obimom Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 31, 2010
    star 4
    Awww..Val!!

    What do I say?

    What did the council do that Mace didn't like? This doesn't sound good for Obi-Wan...I do wish the council would open their eyes and see what is really going on...[face_frustrated]

    Loved Dooku and Obi-Wan on Serenno...Dooku having uneasy feelings about leaving right then??

    Maybe he's better pay attention to that. Hmm? [face_worried]

    Loved the cake...sounds yummy.
  15. serendipityaey Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 24, 2004
    star 4
    Darn. Well, I'll take Obi-Wan anyway I can get him :D Love the way the relationship is building between him and Dooku. Quite interesting.


    BTW, on the last update you wrote a reply to me about something I did not write, at least I don't think... I was so confused! Not sure where that came from.
  16. Valairy Scot Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 5
    I edited my response...but since some might wonder what this was all about, I made a (not-funny) joke which I removed.
  17. serendipityaey Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 24, 2004
    star 4
    Ohmygosh, I've confused the heck out of myself and now I've brought you down with me. I meant the update like before this update like... let me look... posted on 1/24. I assume the part in italics was supposed to be something I wrote, but I didn't write that, well, I don't remember writing that, but the strange thing was I didn't see it anywhere, either... something about 'Anakin sputtering toward' etc...

    And I liked your joke! You should put it back [face_whistling] I was trying to respond to that with the whole Darn, well I'll take him anyway I can get him

    Sighhhhh... I've brought your thread down to new lows... sorry [face_blush][face_worried]


    Edit: I'm so embarrassed you totally misunderstood me! I forget people can't read my mind sometimes... sheesh
  18. Valiowk Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 23, 2000
    star 6
    Such a lovely post, Val!

    Silly Obi-Wan at the beginning (yes, I insist on using the word "silly" on him, but nothing harsher) - nobody is perfect, and everybody feels some self-pity for themselves at times. He's conducted himself admirably in such trying circumstances, and that's what's important. :)

    Obi-Wan is certainly not as disconnected from the Force as he believes himself to be, not if he's receiving such dreams. Mace certainly realises that - if only they could find a way to reassure Obi-Wan of that!

    Such wisdom in your words here, Val. This is one of my favourite passages in the story so far! [face_love]

    Loved, loved, loved the imagery of the Force and the humour here. [face_love] I wonder how we would perceive the Force if it really existed... [face_thinking]

    Master Dooku and Obi-Wan are going to have a great dinner, especially dessert, I see. :p Poor droid, it must be horribly confused about why Dooku would want an angel on top of the cake. :D
  19. earlybird-obi-wan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
    Love this new Dooku and the way he is helping Obi-Wan.

    But the council? What's happening there?

    Intrigue and trouble?
  20. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4
    Obi-Wan is seeing a different Dooku than the one he imagined.:cool: The thick wall surrounding Obi-Wan is beginning to crumble and sparks of humour and light are shining through.O:)

    I wonder if Depa will be a candidate now the Dooku has decided to remain with the Jedi?[face_devil] And what is it that she wants to discuss with Yoda and Mace.[face_thinking]
  21. Valairy Scot Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 5
    The cake is, of course, O:) food cake. My [face_peace] offering for the lack of Obi-Wan in this chapter. Mr. Man of Action (:eek: !) will have plenty in the next few chapters.

    obimom What did the council do that Mace didn't like? Discovered that with Obi-Wan gone, the Temple feels cleaner, purer.:eek:

    serendipityaeyWe did confuse each other, didn?t we? No harm, no foul. We were joking about how we like our Obi-Wan. [face_whistling] [face_blush]

    Valiowk Obi-Wan is certainly not as disconnected from the Force as he believes himself to be, not if he's receiving such dreams. Oh, you think?[face_praying]

    Loved, loved, loved the imagery of the Force and the humour here. I wonder how we would perceive the Force if it really existed... I?m partial to the symphony metaphor I used in A Good Place to Die:
    Nature was playing a symphony for them; the chords glorious combinations of vivid colors rather than composed of notes ? with instruments made of light, not sound. Obi-Wan was entranced. After some of the various planets the Jedi had been on recently, this was a treat for the senses, a gift of the Force. It was joy made visible.


    earlybird-obi-wan This is a Dooku we never got to see.

    gkilkenny Depa sees that the Council is starting to wonder if Qui-Gon was right.

    Note: to the about 2/3 of the PM list who don't ever post responses - please remember if you are not reading, it won't hurt my feelings to be removed and will also save my time sending out PMs. I just recently removed one due to DRL issues with no hard feelings on either part.


    Warning: disturbing imagery ahead in this (and next) chapter: our BB is [face_devil]




    Chapter 57. The End of Count Dooku


    Jedi did not swear, or at least, did not admit to it.

    But nobility ? surely they were permitted to utter an incautious expletive or two, for only fueled by such was Dooku, temporary lord of the manor, able to don the horrible garments that now decorated his body.

    Or adorned.

    Or some such nonsense, but there was no doubt the outfit was hideous. And thankfully, temporary.

    Now ?properly attired,? and hopefully ?presentable? to he-who-deemed-this-necessary, Dooku descended to the library and decanted a very expensive bottle of liquor before sinking into the comfortable seat he had vacated some time before and swiveled to gaze out the windows. Young Kenobi was now out of sight, the only sight to greet him was Serenno itself.

    A Jedi could and should find himself at home anywhere, but he still preferred Coruscant above all other places. It had a bustle and an edge to it he liked with the serenity of the Temple there when quiet contemplation became tempting.

    Still, the planet of his birth was quite a nice planet all in all, the living comfortable and poverty all but non-existent. The Six Houses ruled and ruled well, at least on the surface. Dooku had seen so-called ?democratic? governments that ruled with little regard for the actual governed; here, the aristocracy had a tradition and a heritage of beneficence that all but excused the lack of formal consent by the governed.

    He downed a swallow of the fiery liquid and smiled appreciatively as he leaned back in the seat.

    Young Kenobi?s white face over first meal again popped into his mind. What had so shaken him?

    He knew it hadn?t been one of his ?bad feelings? for Yoda had been quite clear in his recounting of the sordid story that had brought them all to this point. He knew as well that the boy?s connection to the light was wrought with static while the Force?s connection to the boy was ? clear, a comm transmission reaching a switched off receiver.

    So, if it wasn?t a bad feeling born of the Force, it was any one of several possibilities.

    The boy was obviously intelligent and quite likely anything but a fool. He also was
  22. obimom Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 31, 2010
    star 4
    OH My, Val...

    The way you put all that together was just...brilliant.

    And chilling. BB-quite insane, and the Boss has a heart after all, or he's just rediscovering it.

    BB is going after Obi-Wan...Oh no! Dooku, please don't delay..[face_worried]

    I can't wait for the next chapter!

    =D=
  23. charie Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 6, 2007
    star 2
    I just love this Dooku!! Please continue soon! I can feel things heating up!
  24. Raxacoricofallapatorius Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 20, 2010
    star 1
    ?No Jedi ? not even Master Yoda - lives up to the Code, because ?a Jedi? doesn?t exist in a pure form. It?s a calling, a lifestyle, a choice. It?s what we are, but not who we are. A Jedi is not a person. A person is a Jedi.?

    I really like this quote. It sums up in words all Obi-Wan has done. From Count Dooku, which is quite a surprise.
    Rejecting the position of Count is intriguing, as well as the fact that the 'bad guy' really has a heart that exists. Maybe you are removing all the layers he had wrapped around it for so long, revealing what he had almost forgotten.

    Beautifully written! This is a wonderful story that is getting quite...addicting. :p
  25. earlybird-obi-wan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
    A cliffie:eek:

    Keep Dooku and Obi safe

    And what's BB planning and that Sith?

    This asks for more
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