Ewoks: cute teddy bears or flesh eating monsters?

We all saw in Return of the Jedi how the Ewoks helped the Rebellion topple the Empire. Many a fanboy has also been puzzled by the fact that the Ewoks overtook stormtroopers.

But perhaps there is something we're missing. The Ewoks easily had the stormtrooper forces outnumbered. It was there home planet, and they knew the woods better than the Imperials.

Also, keep in mind that the Ewoks were ready to roast Han, Chewie, and Luke in a feast to honor their new god, 3PO.

With these numbers and a penchant for human flesh, it's no wonder why the stormtroopers were a bit scared. The Ewoks swarmed like on the stormtroopers, creating a bloody freezing frenzy as if they were land pirahna.

Of course, Lucas wanted to keep the movie PG, so he quickly edited to another shot as the Ewoks dined on stormtrooper flesh, and then cut back to show them celebrating on their hollow shells.

Think about it. You don't see any stormtrooper captives at the end of the movie, during the celebration. The horrible little creatures ate them all!

Hopefully, the rebels managed to make it off Endor before the Ewoks turned on them in hunger and devoured them all.

 

*pauses*


*raises an eyebrow*


*cracks up*


*stops laughing*


*ponders on what Stormtroopers taste like*


Hmmmmm.....


Ken Kenobi- And you have a nice day

 

There an issue of Star Wars: Tales that adresses this. It compares the ewoks to Viet Cong. It's pretty funny.

 

cute teddy bears or flesh eating monsters?

They're flesh eating teddy bears.

monsters are bigger and there aren't so many of them

 

The Ewoks are often labelled as cute, but would you like to try to annoy a bear cub? Those little buggers would happily claw your leg off.

And the Ewoks have freaky eyes, too

 

Stormtroopers... the other white meat.

 

I've always harbored a secret fear of those damn Ewoks. After all they were going to roast Han & Luke, remember?

 

I wonder if the Ewoks roasted some Rebels too-hidden of course--to see if they tasted different from the stormtroopers.

Hmmm... I bet you they all tasted like chicken.

 

An Ewok is banging on stormtrooper helmets like drums at the end of ROTJ. Makes you wonder what happened to their former owners, doesn't it?

 

That scene has always creeped me out. I always think the heads are still in the helmets.

 

Cute flesh-eating teddy bear monsters are just a marketing ploy by Lucasfilm to "sell" the movie to kids in the 4-12 demographic. Everyone knows kids love carnivore teddy bears.

 

Not to ruin your charade or anything but could the possible answer be simply that there are no captive's because they were killed during battle and the Ewoks took their armor off? *Raised eyebrow's*

Obviously it's a proving fact their "flesh eating monster's" because they were going bar be que Han and Luke.

If this was simply meant to be a humor thread dis-invow(sp?) my post.

<[-]> Saber

 

Hmm, where did those storm troopers go? (looks around). Oh, there's a hood and, gross, his thumb is laying only a foot away. and not far away are two ewoks, enjoying their dinner.

honestly, i never thought that those cute, cuddly little ewoks could be deadly monsters.

~aeryn

 

This site has been advertised in the May edition of the Fan Fiction Review Newsletter.

 

I'll never think of them the same way again... !

 

LMAO!!!!
HEHE this thread is great

 

Ewoks: cute teddy bears or flesh eating monsters?

Yes.

Fortunately, they have many uses.

 

I always wondered how they got a different sound out of helmets that are all the same. Now I know, each one had a defferent amount of stormtrooper left on it. Just lke when you leave different amounts of water in a glass to get a certain tone when you hit it.

 

Poor Ewoks- you guys get after them for being too cute and cuddly, now you get after their taste for meat.

You all are forgetting they wanted to eat Chewie too... that almost makes them cannibals.

Frasier Crane: Yes, those in my support group are the saddest people on earth.

Cliffy: Actually I would think that would be the Donner family.

Frasier: Yes, I suppose you are right, Cliff. Cannibalism is much sadder than having low self-esteem.

Sorry- random "Cheers" moment.

 

Chewies not so innocent himself- I saw him looking strangley at Luke in one scene, probably deciding how best to cook him. Stupid Chewie, always thinking with his stomach.


I personally prefer my stormtrooper poached, rather than roasted.

 

I always wondered how they got a different sound out of helmets that are all the same. Now I know, each one had a defferent amount of stormtrooper left on it. Just lke when you leave different amounts of water in a glass to get a certain tone when you hit it.

lol