EW's Worst Fiction of the Year: 1. O: A Presidential Novel, by Anonymous

10. Once Upon a River, by Bonnie Jo Campbell

"When her father is suddenly gunned down next to the Michigan river on which they've long lived, 16-year-old Margo Crane takes off in a flimsy boat, trying to keep going after her whole world collapses. Bonnie Jo Campbell's novel is part sensitive character study, part gritty survival tale ? both bleak and oddly uplifting. ?Rob Brunner"

 

9. Ready Player One, by Ernest Cline

"Nerd signifiers abound in this deeply informed ode to a certain type of Zaxxon-playing, Holy Grail-quoting, 12-sided-die-tossing '80s dweeb. Of course, anyone who doesn't start giggling at the words ''it's just a flesh wound'' will read the ­previous sentence with ­terror and revulsion. But Ready Player One is much more than a collection of references. Set in 2044, the book follows a high school kid named Wade who's ­trying to win a fortune by solving an elaborate online puzzle created by a dead ­billionaire who grew up in the '80s. The book is set up like a quest-based videogame, and its pleasures are similar: As one adventure leads expertly to the next, time simply evaporates. ?Rob Brunner"

 

8. Say Her Name, by Francisco Goldman

"If Francisco Goldman's ­harrowing portrait of grief seems unusually vivid, maybe it's because he actually was married to a woman named Aura Estrada who really did die after an accident on a Mexican beach in 2007. This thinly novelized account of their life together and the ­author's desperate attempt to grapple with her death might be too much to take were it not for the radiant presence of Aura. Seen through ­Goldman's adoring eyes, and animated by his considerable talent, she ? like Say Her Name ? is unforgettable. ?Rob Brunner"

 

7. The Tiger's Wife, by Téa Obreht

"Téa Obreht, a 26-year-old ­debut novelist, spent her ­early childhood in Belgrade, and the strife of that era permeates this poetic story of a young doctor, ­Natalia, and her grandfather. Natalia is caring for war orphans when she learns of her grandfather's death, and the book traces their relationship while exploring a battle-damaged world haunted by history and superstition. Into that narrative Obreht weaves a pair of folktales, one involving an escaped zoo tiger and its relationship with a deaf-mute villager, the other about a ''deathless man'' who can't be killed but foresees the deaths of others. The result is a beautifully written swirl of modern-day pain and old-world magic. ?Rob Brunner"

 

6. The Sense of an Ending, by Julian Barnes

"Memory is fragile and self-serving, a collection of tales we create to reinforce our notions of who we are rather than record history with any real accuracy. We are all ­unreliable narrators of our own life stories. So Julian Barnes' own unreliable ­narrator discovers in this slim but substantial novel, which slips considerable wisdom into its 163 pages. The book is set up as a mystery: After a figure from his past dies, Tony Webster, divorced and retired, is compelled to investigate his own youth. What he discovers makes him confront some unpleasant truths about who he is and who he used to be. Warning: Reading this might force some soul-searching of your own. ?Rob Brunner"

 

5. The Pale King, by David Foster Wallace

"The late genius David ­Foster Wallace's last novel is unpolished and incomplete, a mere approximation of what he might have had in mind when he committed suicide in 2008 (his longtime editor, Michael Pietsch, stitched it together from bits and pieces that Wallace left behind). But while it's no Infinite ­Jest-style masterpiece, this ­funny and (duh) astonishingly smart philosophical novel about Midwestern IRS agents battling soul-crushing tedium is packed with enough literary insight and holy crap! ­writing to more than make up for its imperfections. ?Rob Brunner"

 

I haven't read tons of what came out this year or anything; however, I have read the The Pale King. I liked it, but I find it hard to believe there are only four books better than it. If DFW had been able to finish it, it quite possibly could have been great. He didn't though.

 

You can see by the response to this thread that reading books is becoming an unusual and eccentric pasttime.

4. Swamplandia!, by Karen Russell

"A darker journey than the goofy setup suggests, Karen ­Russell's first novel tracks a Florida-based clan of ­alligator wrestlers ? Chief Bigtree and his kids, Ava, Ossie, and Kiwi ? as they cope with the death of the family matriarch, Hilola, and subsequent failure of the gator-centric island theme park that paid the bills and defined their lives. The ­Bigtrees eventually split, with Chief and Kiwi braving the mainland while Ava and Ossie are drawn toward the swamp's ominous murk. It wouldn't work if Russell were a less gifted writer, but she pulls it off, giving life to a strange world that's both convincing and original. ?Rob Brunner"

 

Nah, it's just a pretty boring list full of the usual mix of big names, award winners and heralded youth, skewed toward obvious popular choices. I was looking forward to this list but there's been nothing interesting that I wasn't already familiar with.

Ready Player One was a fun page-turner, but it's hard to take seriously a list in which it's said to be among the "best fiction of the year". The Tiger's Wife probably deserves its place; Swamplandia!, on the other hand, probably does not -- the collection containing the story from which it was expanded was better. I'm curious to read the Julian Barnes even though his newer work hasn't been as interesting as his older stuff.

 

I'm kind of surprised to see Swamplandia here. But the Julian Barnes is the only one I'm even remotely interested in so far.

 

3. Stone Arabia, Dana Spiotta

"After Jennifer Egan's note-perfect 2010 book, A Visit From the Goon Squad, this year brought another rare example of a great rock-tinged novel. Stone Arabia is the story of Denise ­Kranis and her troubled brother, Nik Worth, who's devoted his life to an ­elaborate ­archive of his would-be ­music career that includes many volumes of album ­reviews, interviews, liner notes, and other scraps of musical memorabilia. It's obsessive, fetishistic, and, except for the actual music, entirely fake. Dana Spiotta nails the cult-music-world ­details, from album ­titles (the Fakes' Take Me Home and Make Me Fake It) to the way pop music can seem like the most ­important thing in the world when you're lonely and young. Of course, the fortysomething Nik is young no longer, and his decline, when it comes, is as sad as it is inevitable. ?Rob Brunner"

 

2. 1Q84, by Haruki ­Murakami

"A 932-page love story about a lonely ­assassin and a ­fiction ­writer with a secret who reach out to each ­other in a parallel world where two moons hang in the sky and magical midgets with questionable intentions hover in the background ­requires, shall we say, an openness to the odd. But if you can give yourself over to Haruki ­Murakami's ­typically bizarre epic, it's thrilling stuff, even when (or perhaps in part because) it doesn't all come together in the end. The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle ­author's great trick is to ground his fantasies in the mundane, making the ­mysterious feel almost real and ? long after you ­finally reach the last ­chapter ? the real world seem just a little bit more mysterious. ?Rob Brunner"

 

I have IQ84 queued up in my Amazon cart to order as soon as I clear through some of my backlog. Luckily, I'm recently graduated and without a job, so I've got plenty of time.

 

1. The Submission, by Amy Waldman

"Maybe you didn't bother picking up Amy Waldman's underappreciated debut novel because of its oppressive black cover (have jacket designers learned nothing from Spinal Tap?) or because you had heard it described as ''a 9/11 novel.'' But The Submission isn't some dreary homework book you slog through out of obligation. It's a rich, complex, and all-too-plausible look at modern-world insanity that's a total pleasure to read. The story opens with an anonymous competition ­intended to choose a design for a Ground Zero memorial. An elite jury picks a winner, who turns out to be named Mo Khan ? that is, Mohammad Khan, a totally normal American citizen who happens to be of (gasp!) Muslim descent. As word of his selection inevitably leaks, all manner of madness ensues. The Submission is about race and class and religion and xenophobia, but more than that, it's about how a swarm of status-mad climbers ? Khan, the selection committee, politicians, journalists, anti-Muslim activists, an Islamic defense ­coalition ? all manipulate those issues in a scramble for fame and power. Waldman, a former New York Times ­bureau chief, works this bounty of material into a sharp, ­entertaining narrative that skewers absurdity and ­ugliness without ever losing sight of the characters' ­fundamental humanity. ?Rob Brunner"

 

This, I think. I can't say I've even heard of any of the books on this list. If the descriptions are correct, I can see why.

 

I love the way Mastadge makes it all about him.

 

I do? Well then let me continue. I'm kind of curious about that final choice.

Will you be going through other best-books-of-year lists?

 

Not I. You can host.

WORST

"5. Dead Reckoning, by Charlaine Harris

Usually franchise writers get into a groove. (Sue Grafton will probably bang out Z Is for Zebra in her sleep.) But ­despite Charlaine Harris' having written 10 books in her Sookie Stackhouse ­series, her latest is a mess. Bon Temps were not had. ?Keith Staskiewicz"

 

WORST

"4. Killing Lincoln, by Bill O'Reilly

There's no spin allowed in the No Spin Zone, but Abraham Lincoln might be spinning in his grave thanks to the numerous inaccuracies in Bill O'Reilly's book about the president's assassination. ?Keith Staskiewicz"

 

To be fair I haven't read the book but I find it hilarious when neo-conservative personalities like O'Reilly, Beck, and Gingrich try to write fiction. They try shoving their views into a lack luster narrative and it becomes the worst type of propaganda, the unintentionally funny blatant kind. I don't recall what Beck's books title was but I would love to see it adapted into a comedy.

 

The Overton Window, wasn't it? I didn't read it, but I sure saw it in enough stores.

 

WORST

3. A Shore Thing, by Snooki

"Having failed to string ­together a coherent sentence on TV, Snooki applied her ­talent to fiction. Sure, her novel is great beach fun ? if you want a book to throw into the ocean. ?Keith Staskiewicz"

Never heard of this alleged person...

 

WORST

2. Kardashian Konfidential, by Kourtney, Kim, and Khloé Kardashian

"Yes, yes, we know that Kardashian Konfidential came out last year. But this revised edition was rushed into print this fall in order to include photos from Kim's big wedding, only to come out ­after the couple had already split. The ­technical term for this is wah-wah. ?Keith Staskiewicz"

 

It is my theory that the Kardashians are all secret racists. Why else would they start every damn name with K? Kourtney, Kim, Khloe. KKK. Therefore, anyone who buys this book is supporting the KKK.

 

Not to mention the book title works out to KKK KKK. Double racism.