Before Factory Food -- Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, OC Jedi -- one-post, drama, humor

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by ardavenport, Jul 15, 2007.

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  1. ardavenport Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2004
    star 4
    Title: Factory Food
    Author: ardavenport
    Timeframe: pre-Episode I, pre-TPM
    Genre: Drama, Humor
    Characters: Qui-Gon Jinn, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Jedi OCs
    Keywords Qui-Gon Jinn, Obi-Wan Kenobi, food, factory
    Summary: The Masters take the Padawans to lunch.
    Notes: Typo is my middle name, with missing words and errors that spell checkers don?t catch being my speciality ? if you see any, just post a reply or send a PM with the what and where and I will kill them with no mercy.
    Disclaimer: All characters belong to George and Lucasfilm; I?m just playing in their sandbox



    A great mob of people disembarked from the mega-tram onto the waiting platform. As soon as they had flowed out, a new mob advanced, pushing through and around the newcomers to fill up the car again. As soon as it whizzed away over the elevated rails a new mega-tram arrived and the process began again.

    Ten brown Jedi robes, from shades of sand to deep soil, filtered through the multi-species crowd and reformed into their group again by a pillar in a little eddy of calm amidst the shuffling, chattering and grunting around them.

    Obi-Wan Kenobi pulled the hood of his robe back down off his short, thick gingery brown hair, revealing his Padawan's braid hanging down past his right shoulder and tail lock tied on the back of his head. His Master and companions removed their hoods as well. Four of them had similar Padawan braids and locks in different shades of hair. They all faced the busy entrance of a huge, boxy building. "F'Yeddas Royah" glowed bright yellow and pale blue in the midday shadows of the city, rising high over the entrance, each symbol nearly half as tall as the building itself.

    "I haven't been to this place in years," Master Elest Emordi announced, her big head of frizzy gray hair bouncing a little in currents of air caused the motion of so many other bodies walking around them.

    "This should be fun," her friend, Master Porum Kyas, commented next to her. They charged forward, Elest's her short stout outline complimented by his tall thin one, Porum's his gray top knot waving behind them. The rest of them followed.

    The people slowed and formed a denser mass as they spread out to go through the long line of tall doorways that formed them into lines when they pressed through. Qui-Gon Jinn put his arm over Obi-Wan's shoulders to keep the crowd from separating them. Ahead of them, Master Porum did the same with his younger Padawan, Dubbin. Elest was ahead of them. The other five members of their group kept close behind Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan.

    Once through the doors, blocky gray metal droids instructed them to go through the life-sign scanner arches 'ONE AT A TIME'. They each had to present identification to be scanned separately because of the power supplies in their lightsabers. Others behind the Jedi group grumbled about the delay. The lines on either side of them moved faster. Once through the arch, Obi-Wan waited at the side with the others for the other Jedi to get through. They collected in a side area reserved for large groups. When all the Jedi had gotten through, single diners and groups of twos and threes rushed through the scanner to the line of greeter droids further inside. Elest waved and a blocky greeter droid came to them and inquired if their group was all assembled.

    Producing them from the orderly bin attached to its side, the droids spindly arms rapidly attached colored bibs around each of their necks. Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon, Elest, Dubbin and Master Chatmaren all got light blue. Knight Semko got broad white and pale yellow stripes. Semko's Padawan, Ahmi, and Chatmaren's Padawan, Bibow, got white. Knight Hohkard got broad white and pale blue stripes and Master Porum got pink. Now neatly tagged by species type, the droid handed Elest their table assignment on a glowing flat panel.

    After the droid scanned her credit chip to pay for lunch for all of them, Elest strode inside without a backward glance. They all followed. For the six da
  2. azizah Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 4, 2006
    star 1
    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] I wondered where this one was going. Very funny and touching at the same time, like this:

    "But I am sure that the Force will guide you to a youngling who can teach you. Much." Qui-Gon's dark blue eyes settled on Obi-Wan who smiled back.

    Aww

    Great job.
  3. earlybird-obi-wan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
    Nice one and loved it
    Obi-Wan is tidy and the masters not.[face_laugh]
  4. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    That was cute. I loved that Obi-Wan was tidy and the masters were not.

    Very good.
  5. Persephone_Kore Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 19, 2006
    star 4
    Oh, this was neat. I think it might take an author like you to pull it off -- with your habit of very scrupulous descriptions. I couldn't figure out where it was going either, but the other Masters' "prank" both in quiet defense of their own padawans and to make a point to Elest about her own behavior (and the dexterity it seems to have required to make a mess of themselves surreptitiously! ;)) was a lovely payoff.
  6. ratna Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2007
    star 4
    Obi-Wan had been surprised to be going and he bluntly asked Qui-Gon if he was the reason they were being sent, since Padawans were encouraged to learn from such gatherings. And Qui-Gon Jinn was not the Jedi Council's first choice to represent the Order at official occassions. Qui-Gon had smiled back and complimented him for his perceptiveness.

    LOL!!!



    "Well, I am impressed," Chatmaren commented from her place on the sofa. "You were right; he is tidy."

    "He is," Qui-Gon agreed and then turned his smug expression toward Elest who had a sour look on her own face.


    I died laughing!!



    "Elest, if you find yourself. . ." Porum began sternly.

    "Minding another person's Padawan. . . " Chatmaren continued.

    "Then perhaps it is time for you. . . " Qui-Gon added.

    "To get your ooooowwwwnnn," Semko finished loudly. Four glares looked up at Elest from the Masters' sofa.



    Humor AND a lesson AND --


    "It's been a long time," Elest muttered, her voice full of memory. "I'm a bit out of practice."

    "We can see that," Qui-Gon said. "But I am sure that the Force will guide you to a youngling who can teach you. Much." Qui-Gon's dark blue eyes settled on Obi-Wan who smiled back. They waited for Elest's answer.

    "I will consider it." Elest bowed to them. "I beg forgiveness for my intrusions," she said meekly, another tone that Obi-Wan thought was not possible to hear from this woman.

    Porum nodded to her. "If you wish to discuss it later, Elest, I am always available for you," she said gently to her friend. Elest mutely nodded back.



    --gentle mind.


    The inimitable ardavenport!
  7. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    LOL, I love these little excursions of yours. They always bring a smile to my face and leave me feeling quite satisfied. :D :D
  8. ClaudiaR Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 8, 2007
    star 1
    I loved this!
    very funny! especially how Obi-Wan was pretty much the only one
    who was tidy and the masters encouraging her to take a padawan!


    Qui's phrase about a youngling teaching much was very cute and I really liked it!

    I love this type of short viggis and you do theme xtremly well!
  9. LuvEwan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2002
    star 4
    That was so cute and clever. I love that Qui-Gon was smug about Obi-Wan's tidiness. [face_laugh] The whole thing brought a smile to my face. Another unique and very enjoyable story. =D=
  10. XANl Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 1, 2006
    star 1
    How cute!! Just so well described

    you could see the food factory!! The young padawans acted just like kids there
    age.

    I wonder if there are any sweets left in that container.;)
  11. ardavenport Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2004
    star 4
    azizah: Thanks-you! Much to learn, the masters have. [face_mischief]

    earlybird-obi-wan: Thank-you and thanks for the reply!

    dianethx: Thank-you! Obi-Wan is just a neat kid. :)

    Persephone_Kore: I guess I just like describing food. I've noticed that there seem to be a lot of people eating in my fics. This one was all about eating. And the lesson for Elest, too. Thanks for the reply!

    ratna: Thanks for reading! Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon know each other well. [face_mischief] This lesson was for one of the masters, not the padawans.

    Healer_Leona: Glad you enjoyed the excursion! This one was fun to write -- just an evening of the masters taking the padawans out to eat. :)

    ClaudiaR: Thanks for the reply! Short Jedi interactions like this are fun to speculate and write about.:)

    LuvEwan: Thank-you! Qui-Gon certainly knows his padawan. And Obi-Wan looks so much cleaner in TPM, I'm just sure he's the neat one.

    XANl: Thanks! And yes, I'm sure that there are sweets left for the padawans!

  12. Master_Tigris_Leigh Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 10, 2004
    star 1
    I love this story. I especially like how Obi-Wan was the only one who was clean, since that seems so in character for him. :p But I do have a quick question. Is this a repost? I seem to remember reading this a long time ago. [face_thinking] But anyway, great story, awesome descriptions as usual, and now I need to get something to eat because all of that talk about food made me hungry. :D
  13. ardavenport Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2004
    star 4
    Glad you liked the story! Ever the diplomat, even he's young, I'm sure Obi-Wan could get through a messy meal without a spot. :)

    No, it's not a repost. It's just me taking 6 months to reply to replies. [face_blush] I'm trying to catch up on those and not let them go so long. I do usually want to wait a few weeks to reply, but 6 months is a bit much.

    I have found that if I keep my post on the prolific author thread in Resources up to date and keep a link to that I can quickly check and see if I missed any replies. That should help.
  14. Meredith_Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 20, 2005
    star 4
    What an original idea! And you were so beautifully descriptive throughout the whole thing, I thought for sure that I was right there with them.

    Wonderful viggie ardavenport, I really enjoyed it. :cool:
  15. EECHUUTA Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 19, 2007
    star 4
    Ireally enjoyed reading this little story. It was fun! :p
  16. ardavenport Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2004
    star 4
    Meredith_Kenobi: Glad you enjoyed it; thanks! I like description and for some reason I end up with a lot of food in my fics, too. They seem to go together. ;)

    EECHUUTA: Thanks! :)
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