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Saga Fall of the Sith (AU RoTS, A/P, Mace Windu, and more..)--**COMPLETE** **New Story Link Posted**

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Souderwan, Jun 3, 2005.

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  1. Hyperion51

    Hyperion51 Jedi Master star 3

    Jun 11, 2005
    I think he mentioned the Navy. He could be a Marine though.

    Excellent update, and very interesting choices for the new council members.

    If you can post these deleted scenes you've made, feel free to do so when you are ready.
  2. aldocassidy

    aldocassidy Jedi Youngling star 3

    Jun 22, 2005
    Sorry, I've been lurking the past few days (I'm new to the whole message board thing, so I just found out what lurking means.) Anyway, this is definitely one of my favorite stories. It is so well written, and I don't feel the need to repeat everyone else's Stover comparisons, but those comparisons are certainly well merited. Anyway, I look forward to reading whatever else you come up with in the future.
  3. Arcalian

    Arcalian Jedi Youngling star 3

    Mar 13, 2005
    LEADER of the Council? That was unexpected.:eek:

    And yeah, Yavin is strong in the Dark Side. Of course this is an AU so you could change that if you wanted.:D
  4. AngelQueen

    AngelQueen Jedi Master star 4

    Mar 1, 2001
    Leader of the Council?! :eek: To use a well-known American quote, "DUDE! FAR OUT!" That was quite a bombshell!

    So, they're going to Yavin IV... *smiles slightly* So, somethings truly are meant to be... *laughs* Yavin IV will become significant to the people of the galaxy one way or another... [face_whistling] And Anakin is taking Luke and Leia with him? Hmm... *recalls the events of the Jedi Academy trilogy* Things could get interesting! :D

    Great post, Souderwan! Very cool! :)

  5. AP4EVER

    AP4EVER Jedi Padawan star 4

    May 23, 2005
    I always firgured, from the moment Yoda gave all his wisdom to Anakin, that Obi-Wan would try to get him to lead the Council. But what surprised me was that all, minus one, council members seem to agree that Anakin should lead them. Of course Anakin is reluctant, I mean who wouldn't be? As the saying goes: With great power comes great responsibility. And this is just adding more onto his plate.

    It's great to see Padme as the Supreme Chancellor. I always firgured that she wouldn't want that burden. Disregarding the fact that she would want to spend more time with Anakin and the twins, we've known that her desires were never really to run the whole show, but to ensure that the people had their say in all matters of the Republic.

    And now the Jedi Temple is moving to Yavin? I agree that having the Temple off Coruscant will give the people a better chance to trust them once again, but this is a somewhat unexpected turn. For the better though, I'm sure.

    And of course I loved the ending of the post, with the loving couple holding eachother and gazing upon thier home that is going through a time of change.[face_love]

    Well done, Souderwan. Well done indeed! Can't wait for the epilogue! :D
  6. Souderwan

    Souderwan Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Jun 3, 2005
    Hyperion: Glad you liked the update. The ending will be coming up later tonight (my time). I'll posted the "deleted scenes" sometime after that. I don't want them to distract from the rest of the story. There's only two that I'll post and they're both part of the ending sequences.

    aldocassidy: Welcome! :) I'm so happy you've enjoyed the story. I've had more fun writing this that anything I can remember in the longest time. Sadly, I'm pretty sure that my next story won't get as much of a response as this one. I think I'm a little spoiled. :) :D

    Arcalian: know me and surprises! :) Glad I actually had one more left in me. I was afraid you would all see it coming a mile away. Regarding Yavin IV's dark side tendencies, that's a big part of why Anakin chose it. I'm thinking about writing a sequel that focuses almost exclusively on the new Jedi Temple and a young Luke and Leia's training. That's not the first sequel in my head but it'll probably be the second (if I bother to write the sequel at all).

    AngelQueen: :D Always happy to deliver a bombshell. Glad you enjoyed the piece. Anakin actually considered Dagobah as a choice for the Temple but Yavin IV already has buildings in place in the ruined temples, so it makes for a great place to build a new Jedi Order.

    AP4EVER: You're absolutely right that Padme doesn't want to be Chancellor (you'll see a little of that in my deleted scene). But...well...she kinda needs to be right now. The problem with the Republic is the same problem with the world we live in today. Under the right circumstances you can rally everybody to follow you if you're a dynamic enough speaker. The only problem is that when it comes time to actually do something--the people shirk their responsibility. They rely on others--politicians, usually--to take care of the problem. That cultural problem won't get resolved with a speech. The Republic needs her and she knows it.

    Regarding that last scene, I'm glad you liked it. I thought of you when I was writing it. :)

    Hopefully, everything's nice and wrapped up for everybody.
  7. Darth_Invidious

    Darth_Invidious Force Ghost star 6

    Jun 21, 1999
    Of course, there's still the problem of a certain Sithlord's ghost haunting the Massassi ruins. Then again, the Chosen One and the rest of the Jedi moving in might send Exar Kun packing... permanently.

    Just out of curiosity, Souderwan, what's your Navy rank? And in what sub do you serve (if it's not classified info, that is)?
  8. LordTarr

    LordTarr Jedi Youngling star 2

    Feb 11, 2005
    So is the Council just going to Yavin 4 or all the Jedi?


    P.S. I love deleted scenes!
  9. Talon_Kenobi

    Talon_Kenobi Jedi Master star 4

    Sep 3, 2003
    Bravo. Going to Yavin leaves for sequals, espeacially with Exar Kuns spirit there
  10. Skywalker3248

    Skywalker3248 Jedi Youngling star 2

    Jun 5, 2005
    I'm sorry that I missed all these great posts the last couple of days!!!

    These are amazing SOuderwan, your ending (or nearly so) of your story has been the same the whole story itself, inspired and aboslutly brlliant, thank you for this story, Souderwan!!

  11. TorontoJediMaster

    TorontoJediMaster Jedi Master star 4

    Oct 14, 2001

    Head of the Council. That's a pretty big promotion. Well, I guess when you absorb 900 years of knowledge and defeat the Sith in one day, you can rate it.

    One question. Is the whole Jedi Order moving to Yavin at once, or are they sending some advance teams to lay the groundwork (i.e. set up the Temple...get power working...sleeping and eating facilities established...etc)?

    BTW, is the Order moving there permanently, or is there still going to be a presence left on Coruscant? (Maybe a few teams of Knights stationed there in case any emergencies arise, etc.)

    I can't wait for the rest of the Order's reaction to the other big changes, such as the lifting of the no attachments rule...etc.

  12. Hyperion51

    Hyperion51 Jedi Master star 3

    Jun 11, 2005
    From all that has happened, and the political ramifications that will follow, moving the Jedi Order's main temple to Yavin IV would probably be best. While they may still keep some Jedi and programs in the Jedi Temple on Coruscant, or at some location in Coruscant, It might be better if the Jedi get out of the public eye somewhat.

    While Yavin IV may become the new headquarters of the Jedi, it might not be a bad idea to establish several smaller facilities throughout the Republic, in order to give the Jedi a better ability to cover certain areas of territory. Plus after recent events, it might not be a bad idea to have some Jedi located away from the main Temple, that way if someone comes to kill them, the Jedi don't have all their eggs in one basket so to speak.
  13. Rassick

    Rassick Jedi Youngling star 3

    Jan 26, 2004
    Nice conclusion! I liked it, and it was cool that Obi-Wan got the last word in. It was also interesting that you didn't "kill off" the villain in the traditional sense.
  14. DarthNaughtious

    DarthNaughtious Jedi Youngling star 2

    Jun 15, 2005
    Snorts. Hilarious. I hate to tell you this, Anakin, but you should have realized by now that you met your match in Padme.

    I can hardly wait for the epilogue. What's the other story you mentioned you were thinking about writing about?
  15. Erin_21

    Erin_21 Jedi Master star 2

    May 27, 2005
    Mmmmmmm [face_thinking] interesting chain of events!! so He's know head of the council??, but he's leaving Coruscant??... and Padme??... mmmmm oh what can I say, I truly like it :D
    I have no idea where you are going from here, but I like the story anyway, and it was so cute!!!, that he can't mind trick her ;), loved that one, when they are together they are cute, and Obi-wan supporting them??, like it even more :D.
    I have to say I have no idea what does
    means by this, but... lest hope I'll get it someday!!
    Thanks for this story, keep it coming, and I'll like to see the deleted scenes ;), be well and take care.
  16. jpauln

    jpauln Jedi Master star 3

    May 3, 2005
    Nice conclusion! =D= I eagerly await the final post. I also wouldn't mind reading the 'deleted scenes'.
  17. Cobranaconda

    Cobranaconda Jedi Grand Master star 7

    Mar 3, 2004
    Very well done Souderwan.

    It was well written, and that Anakin was nominated to lead the Council was an unexpected shock.

    Also the gap between the main bulk of the story and this bit is well placed, allowing it to be more easily understood.

    Very good chapter!
  18. Talon_Kenobi

    Talon_Kenobi Jedi Master star 4

    Sep 3, 2003
    I think that Exar Kun, one of the greatest Sith ever, spirit is trapped in the Yavin temple. He gets free in Luke era, and corrupt Kyp Durron to the darkside, causing him to destroy an entire star system
  19. Souderwan

    Souderwan Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Jun 3, 2005
    Darth_Invidious: Funny you should mention a Sith Lord's ghost.... :) To answer your question, I'm a Lieutenant which is equivalent to a Captain in the other military branches (we Navy guys have to be different :D ). I was stationed on the USS Minneapoli-St. Paul (SSN 708) for three years. I transferred off in 2004 and am now doing shore duty at Submarine Learning Facility teaching other Junior Officers how to drive submarines. :) (All provided information is of public record and is unclassified).

    LordTarr: The entire Order is moving to Yavin IV as a permanent base for the Temple. The details of the move are not discussed intentionally. I'll leave all that for a possible sequel.

    Talon_Kenobi: You can be assured that if I write a sequel, Exar Kun would be in it (as well as another Sith Lord I won't mention).

    Skywalker3248: I'm so happy you liked it. I hope you'll like the actual ending as much. :) Thanks.

    TorontoJediMaster: As I told LordTarr above, I'm not going to address those questions in this story (although they are excellent questions and very well thought out--one of them I hadn't considered myself). Feel free to speculate, though...who knows? Maybe you'll spark a plot bunny for a sequel (which I'm currently not inclined to write).

    Hyperion51: Super thoughts. For a second there, I thought I saw a little plot bunny flit by. :)

    Rassick: Thanks, man. Although it's not quite the conclusion yet--that comes after this post. I'm glad you liked that I didn't simply "kill" the villan. It was important to me to show that death is not always the only answer to evil. Besides, if you look at my avatar, you know there's no way I'm going to kill of Mace Windu in one of MY stories! :) (j/k)

    DarthNaughtious: The other story I'm going to write next is a pre-Saga era story about Yoda's early adventures (when he's around 600 years old). It will visit Yoda's home planet (undefined by the SW universe) and you'll meet his species (also unnamed). You'll also see Yoda do things he shouldn't do....we'll leave it at that for now. It's not truly AU because it won't affect the timeline in any way. The story won't have the same post-frequency as this one, btw.

    Erin_21: Thanks again! :) I'd explain the Exar Kun thing but it's already been done. :)

    jpauln: Thanks. I'm happy you're enjoying it. BTW, everybody...jpauln's story [link=]Polar Beings[/link] is really good and I highly recommend it. It sees far too few readers for such a good piece of work.

    Cobranaconda: I'm so happy you've enjoyed this story. Your support has meant the world to me. :)

    All: Following this post, will be my final post for the story. I'll post the deleted scenes tomorrow since there seems to be some interest in them. I warn you that they are not very good (which is why they're deleted) but I'll share them anyway (I liked one but didn't like the other).

    It has been a real joy writing this story and getting your responses. I imagine that real writers find this kind of pleasure in their book sales and all but to hear directly from's just indescribable. Thanks. Here's hoping you'll be back for more when I write my next story. BTW, it's called: "Descent into the Abyss" (working title).
  20. Souderwan

    Souderwan Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Jun 3, 2005

    The bitter cold wind tore at his skin with the ferocity of a hungry nexu in full attack. If the debilitating temperature or the searing pain produced by the pebble-sized hail that poured from the darkened sky onto his motionless body had any impact on him, it was not clear. He stood in the snow, perfectly still. He was clad only in pants so white that they were indistinguishable from the smooth, pure surface of the snow. His dark, sinewy upper body was taut. His hand clenched a wooden staff tipped with a rock that had been chipped into the shape of a spear on both ends.

    The storm battered at his frame with all of his power. It wrapped him in a blanket of cold so deep that it threatened to freeze the blood in his veins. It pounded him mercilessly with stones of ice at such speeds that it seemed they could pierce a meter of durasteel. The wind howled with such intensity that he could hear nothing else. But still, the creature did not budge.

    This is what it feels like to be Mace Windu, Korun Master, former Dark Lord of the Sith, and exile on the planet Hoth, right now:

    You can feel the power of the planet, but it cannot harm you. The Force is your ally. With it, you wrap yourself in warmth that no blanket could ever provide. The Force gives you a shield against the hail that no blaster can puncture. You are the epitome of invulnerability. But it is only a respite in the darkness that consumes you.

    You are lonely, but you do not dwell on it.

    You are afraid, but you refuse to bow.

    You are angry, but you do not allow it to consume you.

    You are darkness personified but you can now see light.

    As you look out at the endless barren wasteland of ice that blankets virtually the entire planet, you can feel the creatures approach. They normally hunt alone but they have learned their lesson. You have cut so many of them down now that they have organized themselves into a pack in a desperate hope to stop your carnage.

    You find this amusing.

    You loosen your grip on your double-bladed shaft and wait for the attack.

    You cannot see them anywhere. They have had millennia to adapt to this harsh world and you have had only a year. They outnumber you seven to one. You almost regret that the odds are not in their favor.

    With lightning quickness they attack as one. You do not move until three of them are within reach of you. Three snow-white creatures are suddenly dead at your feet, their blood that splashes against your face in a scorching deluge is a welcome shower which staves off the frigid storm.

    You hear the two behind you roar with rage in a futile attempt to weaken your resolve. You reward them for their efforts with deadly efficiency and relish in the sight of their heads sailing through the storm-ridden sky. You laugh aloud at the now Sith-colored snow and turn to face the others with malicious joy.

    Two more remain and you can sense their caution.

    These are the true predators in the pack. The others were nothing. Your smile spreads widely across your face in a vicious grin. They begin to stalk you as if you?re their prey. You can feel their confidence flowing like a bountiful river. They diverge to flank you?one on either side. In the Force you see them for what they are?brothers. They fight together. They hunt together. They are as close as two of the creatures could possibly be.

    They are perfect.

    With stunning speed they hurtle themselves toward you but you are no longer their. The Force has lifted you into the sky, high above their heads. You glorify in the sickening crunch of their skulls against each other as you fall back down toward them. Two merciless slashes from your stone blade cause their heads to land in the snow as your feet touch down.

    As you stand in the pool of congealing blood at your feet, which rapidly begins to freeze, you survey your work. You feel no remorse. You feel no pity. You feel victory. You feel elation.

    You roar into the sky with your
  21. AngelQueen

    AngelQueen Jedi Master star 4

    Mar 1, 2001
    *shivers* Wow... scary... and intriguing!

    Souderwan... words cannot ever fully express just how wonderfully you've written this entire story! The situation, the characters, all of it is so rich and well-thought out! I've had such a pleasure reading this story and I shall be sure to keep an eye out for your future stories! :)

  22. jpauln

    jpauln Jedi Master star 3

    May 3, 2005
    You get a standing ovation for that one brother! =D= =D= =D= I look forward to reading your next story. =D=
  23. CherryLightsaber

    CherryLightsaber Jedi Knight star 4

    Mar 16, 2005
    At long last, "Fall of the Sith" is finally complete! Excellent, no, amazing work there Souderwan! I look forward to your future fics.
  24. Hyperion51

    Hyperion51 Jedi Master star 3

    Jun 11, 2005
    Excellently written up. Mace seems to have adapted well to his new home.

    If you do plan to do a sequal based on events after this story, I'm sure you will do an excellent job, and I look forward to reading it if you do one. I would love to see how some of the Jedi react to the changes that are coming to the Order, both as a result of some outside influences like the Senate, and some of the changes that Anakin and hopefully other Jedi will try to bring about.
  25. Arcalian

    Arcalian Jedi Youngling star 3

    Mar 13, 2005
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