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Saga Fall of the Sith (AU RoTS, A/P, Mace Windu, and more..)--**COMPLETE** **New Story Link Posted**

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Souderwan, Jun 3, 2005.

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  1. DarthAJ

    DarthAJ Jedi Padawan star 4

    Dec 9, 2004
    Loved the Deleted scenes. I can see why the first one was cut. It seemed sad compared to the happpy ending. It was a kinda weird and odd thing to do at the time. The second scene was cut for the best. We could already see that scene in our head without it being fully told. Great nonetheless.

    I can't wait till' you start the Yoda fic. I will defenitly be reading that. I wonder what you will be calling their species? If I had to imagine it, a Yoda civalization would remind me of the Noghri in 'Dark Force Rising'. It should be interesting.

    EDIT: 800th post for 'Fall of the Sith'!
  2. Hyperion51

    Hyperion51 Jedi Master star 3

    Jun 11, 2005
    Loved the deleted scenes. I agree with you that the story would have been fine without them, but they where excellent nuntheless.

    I can't wait to see your Yoda based story. For someone so mysterious, I'm surprised only one book, at least that I can think of, has been written on Yoda. As a guest character in your story, could you consider the possibility of intruducing us to Yaddle, the only other known Yoda like creature ever seen, and a Jedi Master at that. In TPM, Yaddle was 477 years old, so she should be a hundred something years old at the time of your prequal story.

    Also, for your age of Yoda, I think he might be several decades older than 500, but still 2 or 3 short of 600 from the timeframe of your prequal story.

    If you can't develop any ideas for a full scale sequal story, have you considered posting a series of small stand alone stories, possibly some of the various Jedi that are still alive after the events in this story? Something where two or three posts max would be enough for one Jedi. Plus after events of this story, unless you want to start bringing up EU characters, the choice of which Jedi to look at isn't very big, what with so many being killed off.
  3. Erin_21

    Erin_21 Jedi Master star 2

    May 27, 2005
    :), well I just have to say that I think those scenes are as good as the rest of the fic, I truly like the 2 of them, specially the one in the senate, but the one with Anakin was really good to.
    I think authors are the most critical with their own work, but that doesn't make this scenes less interesting :D =D= .
    I'll be happy to read more from you, Yoda as a more or less young being?? cool :D, and I hope for more Anakin stories to!! you just keep writing, and I'll be happy to keep reading, [:D] be well and take care.
  4. aldocassidy

    aldocassidy Jedi Youngling star 3

    Jun 22, 2005
    Great scenes. And your speeches throughout this story were very well done and realistic. Have you ever considered becoming a politician as well as a writer?
  5. LukesDestiny

    LukesDestiny Jedi Youngling star 1

    Oct 28, 2004
    Wow. This is one of the best fan fics I have ever read. Congrats on finishing this and I am looking forward to your next fic starring Yoda.

    One question- At the end of Fall of the Sith, has Mace crossed over completely or is he still recovering?

    Loved the deleted scenes too.
  6. TorontoJediMaster

    TorontoJediMaster Jedi Master star 4

    Oct 14, 2001
    At the end, it looks like Mace has gone pretty much off his rocker. He seems to have gone Colonel Kurtz.

    I have this feeling he hasn't been doing too much in the way of relaxing meditation at night.
  7. Oldest_Padawan

    Oldest_Padawan Jedi Youngling

    Jan 20, 2005
    Thank you for a great story, Souderwan. I loved it!
  8. Souderwan

    Souderwan Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Jun 3, 2005
    sdhfs: Thanks.

    DarthAJ: I'm glad you liked the deleted scenes but understood why they were taken out. I much preferred the casual way in which I confirmed that Padme had been made Supreme Chancellor, anyway. :) Sadly, I haven't read "Dark Force Rising," so I don't know how closely Yoda's people will be to the Noghri. I guess we'll see. I'm happy to know that I'll have at least one or two readers. I should warn you all that there might be a significant change in writing style...

    800 posts? Really? Wow! How do you know that?

    Hyperion51: Yaddle will indeed make a guest apperance in the story. :) I haven't firmly decided on Yoda's exact age. He'd be about 600 when he assumes the role of head of the Jedi Council. My story will more or less end there (sorry to ruin it for everyone ;) )'ll be able to extrapolate back from there to get an exact age.

    Regarding sequels. I have some ideas and vignettes or 2-3 page posts might be a great way to do it. I do have a full-scale Pandemonium Jedi Order Academy kind of arc running around in my head. It might even be a trilogy! has to wait until my Yoda story runs its course...

    Erin_21: I'm happy to hear that you enjoyed the deleted scenes. I'll confess to you that there were several scenes in FoTS that I cringed while posting. Partly because I was afraid of the outcry (Yoda's death, for example) and partly because I thought they might turn our horrible (Mas Ameda interlude is an example). Neeless to say, I am pleased as punch that you all seemed to respond so positively to these stories. Thanks. :D

    aldocassidy: Me? A politician?? ;) Actually...I have given it thought. My characters tend to say things I always wished some politician would say. But....I'm a Navy Man and proud of it! And us military people don't do politics--for now (dum dum duuummm) :D

    LukesDestiny: Glad you liked the deleted scenes. Didn't you find the whole personfication-of-the-dark-side-thing a little disturbing, though? Just wondering. your question. Yes, Mace is still struggling with the dark side. What you saw was a glimpse of how difficult that struggle is--much like an alcoholic struggles with drinking when they're trying to quit. Well...for's like being an alcoholic but locked alone in a room for an unknown amount of time with nothing but booze all around you. It's a bit much to ask him not to take a drink every now and then...

    TorontoJediMaster:[face_laugh][face_laugh][face_laugh] You crack me up!! [face_laugh][face_laugh] Yes...I'd agree, not too much meditation going on...see my comment to LukesDestiny. :)

    P.S. Maybe sometime in the future (a few months from now) we can collaborate on a humor story. :D

    OldestPadawan: **Flattered beyond **** No..thank you for reading. :)

  9. Skywalker3248

    Skywalker3248 Jedi Youngling star 2

    Jun 5, 2005
    What can I say to describe such a great work!!

    Souderwan, you've scripted a masterpeice here, for first to last, and now to see it on all it glory, if doesn't get any awards the must be something wrong with the judges!!!

    The last bit with dark as you said in your e-mail, but it fits perfectly!!

    The only question is, does that dark ending hold just for Mace, or does it apply to the whole galaxy, mmmm...

    meditate on this, I will...

    Great story :D :D :D :D !!!

    DARTH-DIABLO Jedi Youngling star 1

    May 18, 2005
    Souderwan, u are a genius!
    I waited till i read the whole story before posting and i can now say it is freaking awesome! Drama, action and even a bit of politics. Great stuff! You've inspired me to write a fic of my own. I'm working on the ideas now. It will involve Mace and be AU. ROTS has so many possibilities for different story paths which you exploited superbly.
    I look forward to your next story and live in hope for a sequel to this one.
    Great Work=D=
  11. Baby_Death_Star

    Baby_Death_Star Jedi Knight star 4

    Aug 12, 2004
    Dear Souderwan, thank you so much for this great story. I don't find enough words to praise your achievement, the best AU story I've ever read. Action, humour, drama, intrigues, ... and all persons acting AS IF it would be the real thing.

    There ever was the tone, the feeling of a real SW movie present. Hopefully someone does a FanFilm version of this! But even then a movie couldn't get close enough to your characterizations and writing. It was JUST GREAT.

    Thank you so much.

    I can't wait for your next novel.

    PS: And "Schiff ahoi!" from a big german U-Boat Fan! :)


    [link=]final, updated pdf (21 chapters & epilogue & deleted scenes, 228pg, 818KB)[/link]

    [link=]for all those without pdf (Hi Erin_21!), as .doc-file (546KB)[/link]
  12. Cobranaconda

    Cobranaconda Jedi Grand Master star 7

    Mar 3, 2004
    *Bangs head on desk repeatedly*

    I missed the end!

    Sorry Souderwan. However, it was a brilliant finale, summing up Mace's natural aggression brilliantly. And the deleted scenes, well, I actually liked them. But, I am quite disturbed myself, so Anakin's behaviour seemed quite natural to me, if a little forward.

    But congratulations on a story well done, and over 800 replies!

    Polls open tomorrow for the Awards, I hope this story wins all of the awards it's up for, as it really is that good.

    And I also greatly anticipate your next work.

    Thank you Souderwan, for being such a great writer. =D=
  13. Souderwan

    Souderwan Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Jun 3, 2005
    Skywalker3248: Thanks! You know how much that means to me. I've been enjoying your fic from the beginning and am glad I finally have some time to really digest all the great work out there.

    Darth_Diablo: [face_blush] Thanks. I got reminded by a dear friend recently that I need to be careful of my use of hyperbole when I'm writing. It made me think about the use of words and how they can lose their meaning if applied inappropriately. While I'm flattered beyond belief, I am certainly no genius! So...careful when you write your fanfic or you'll turn into me! (Heaven forbid! ;) )

    On a serious note, I'm happy to hear that you'll be writing your own FanFic. I'd love for you to PM me with a link once you post so I can check it out. :D

    Baby_Death_Star: You have no idea how greatful I am for your continued support. I'm happy I didn't disappoint you in the ending. I love the fact that you took the time to make the story in .pdf and .doc format. I have a group of friends who are looking forward to printing it out and reading the whole thing. They told me to say thanks.

    Cobranaconda: I had wondered what had happened to you. I couldn't imagine that you'd bail on me right at the end, there! :D I'm really happy you enjoyed that last bit. I figured you might like that particular deleted scene and you were sort of the target audience (so I guess I did well). Thanks again. You've made writing this story more fun than it had any right to be! :)
  14. Souderwan

    Souderwan Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Jun 3, 2005
    The [link=]Summer FanFic Awards[/link] page is up.

    Please check it out, whether you're moved enough to vote for this story or not. There are some excellent writers out there and excerpts to their stories are posted. It also has the rules for voting. One of those rules is I can't vote for myself, so I feel free to go vote for some writers that I think are much better than me without feeling like I'm doing myself and injustice. :) Hope you all go out and make your voices heard!

    Thanks again for the support!
  15. Zandoran_Celix

    Zandoran_Celix Jedi Knight star 5

    Feb 16, 2005
    Absolutely brilliant conclusion!

    You my friend are my Favorite writer from now on!

    I would hope to someday see you as an actually EU writer, and if ever you write a published novel I want to know about it. Your writing is top notch.....

  16. Coric_Colje

    Coric_Colje Jedi Youngling

    Apr 20, 2005
    New reader here...

    And greetings to a Squid from a fellow Armed Forcer and member of the "Chair Force". ;)

    I have to admit... I was planning on just skimming the first chapter or two of your fic. Had just gotten home from work, and was muddling through the threads to pass the time before bed.

    3-1/2 hours later (5am my local time), I found myself reading over the epilogue, wishing beyond everything that there was more.

    This... Is an absolutely brilliant story. Not only an amazing fanfic, but better than a lot of professional fiction I've read.

    Totally believable from every aspect... Windu's fall to the Dark Side... Anakin's rise to the light... The characters' personalities and interactions are there and -so- dead on, it's like you were channeling GL himself!

    I'm trying to write a fanfic myself, but... Wow... I can only hope to be half as good as this. :)

    Kudos to you, and I can't wait to read more of your work!
  17. DarthAJ

    DarthAJ Jedi Padawan star 4

    Dec 9, 2004
    You haven't read The Thrawn Trilogy yet?! Great set of books. I HIGHLY recommend them. Go to your book store now! It starts with 'Heir to the empire' then goes to 'dark force rising' and concludes with 'the last command'. Timonthy Zahn captures the original characters sooooooo well, as well as new ones like Mara Jade, Kardde, and Thrawn. Must reads for any star wars fan!

    BTW It's five years after rotj.

    PS: I will vote first thing tommorrow morning!
  18. Souderwan

    Souderwan Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Jun 3, 2005
    Zandoran_Celix: I'm always happy to gain readers! Thanks so much for your kind words. See below for link to my new story. Hopefully you'll like it too.

    Colric_Colje: No greater joy can I derive from getting someone from my brother service read my work. Thanks! :) I'm glad you liked it. I hope I don't disappoint in my next fic.

    Darth_AJ: I'll read the trilogy (you're not the first to demand I read it) as soon as I'm done with the next Harry Potter book. :)

    My next story, [link=]Descent Into The Dark[/link] is posted in the Before the Saga forum. Hope you all enjoy.
  19. Souderwan

    Souderwan Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Jun 3, 2005
    Below is an introduction to the new story I've started. I hope you all will give it a whirl. :)

    Title: [link=]Descent Into The Dark[/link]
    Author: Souderwan
    Timeframe: Approximately 300 years before TPM
    Characters: Yoda
    Genre: Character Study, Action, Drama
    Keywords: EU/AU
    Summary: Nearly a decade before Yoda becomes a permanent fixture on the Jedi Council, he is a middle-aged Jedi Master in the prime of his life. Many of the rules that the Jedi live by have not been instituted. Yoda is a free-lance Jedi who visits his home regularly. He knows about the dark side only from his studies in the Jedi Library. This is a story of how Yoda comes to learn the power of the dark side. It?s a story of loss. It?s a story of redemption. It?s a story about the power of fear.

    Note to my previous readers: Thanks for giving my story a try. Things will not move as quickly as Fall Of The Sith but I hope you'll stick with me. I do my best to make it a rewarding reading experience.
    Disclaimer: Lucasfilm owns all the rights to Star Wars. I don?t. No infringement is intended or profit to be made by me.
  20. mithrissa

    mithrissa Jedi Youngling star 1

    May 24, 2005

    I enjoyed the deleted scenes very much, although I think that the first scene could have withstood being slightly more disturbing. Sure, Anakin was blatantly manipulating the dark side of the Force, but I think a shared convocation of grief might have been more powerful. Of course, since grief is a natural part of life, in the same way that death is, Anakin might not have had to use the dark side at all.. thereby defeating the purpose of the whole scene. Good thing you decided, in your writerly wisdom, to cut it then, it's clearly just too confusing.

    Congratulations on finishing your first, epic story, and sorry about the belated reply: better late than never, right?
  21. Jedi Trace

    Jedi Trace SouthEast RSA star 6 Staff Member Manager

    Dec 15, 1999
    *finally caught up! [face_blush] *

    Excellent story, Souderwan!! Did you say this was your first?


    I really enjoyed your characterizations, especially the dynamics between Anakin and Padme. I can't even begin to quote my favorite parts back, but this one had me laughing aloud:

    ?Ok?,? Padme said with a smile. ?What was the last thing I said??

    Anakin blinked.

    ?You will no longer ask me about this conversation,? Anakin said as he waived his hand and called on the Force.

    Padme blinked.

    ?Are you kidding me?? she asked incredulously. ?You?ve got to be kidding.? Anakin inspected his hand as if looking for some defect that prevented his efforts from working.

    [face_laugh] Brilliant!

    Thank you so much for sharing your story with us. To repeat what everyone else has said: Bravo!! :D =D=

  22. rhonderoo

    rhonderoo Former Head Admin star 9 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Aug 7, 2002
    Whew! Just caught up. Like Trace, I really, really enjoyed your Anakin and Padme. Your Mace is wonderfully in character, too. [face_devil] Brilliant writing, looking forward to seeing more of you on the boards! A star is born. ;)
  23. Ace_Venom

    Ace_Venom Jedi Youngling star 3

    Sep 22, 2002
    I actually lurked through the whole thing, I think. You did a decent job integrating Stover's style here and I have to commend you on that point.
  24. Souderwan

    Souderwan Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Jun 3, 2005
    mithrissa: **hugs favorite Beta** Thanks! :) Glad you liked the deleted scenes (since I didn't run them by you). :) I'm really happy you enjoyed reading my first fic. Hopefully I can do better with my next one. :)

    Jedi Trace:
    I'll never get over the nice things you, rhonderoo and VaderLVR64 say to me! I'm simply not worthy! But...thanks. :) Yes, indeed, this is my first story and my first writing attempt in over 10 years (last story I wrote was in high school). Glad it turned out Ok. BTW, I really enjoyed writing those snippets of conversation between Anakin and Padme. Some of the most fun I had was A/P and A/O.

    rhonderoo:[face_blush] Umm...thanks. You, Jedi Trace and Mithrissa in one day?? It's too much to bear! All I need now, is for VaderLVR to come by and my joy will be complete. I'm glad you liked my Mace. He was a little...more?...of everything I loved and hated about the character in the movies and books. :)

    Ace_Venom: Umm...thanks (I think). [face_worried] Well...I hope I can do better next time. :)
  25. Idrelle_Miocovani

    Idrelle_Miocovani Jedi Master star 6

    Feb 5, 2005
    I loved those deleted scenes, Souderwan. They were just as good as the rest of the story and I wish that they could have been in, but I agree with why you cut them.
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