Saga Fall of the Sith (AU RoTS, A/P, Mace Windu, and more..)--**COMPLETE** **New Story Link Posted**

Thanks Idrelle_Miocovani. I had fun writing every single word of this story and I think it will always have a special place in my heart. That's probably why I didn't completely part with the deleted scenes. I'd love to have you come by and check out Descent Into the Dark.

 

souder,

just finished everything. amazing. my friend you have a talent! i hope after you win all the awards someone at lucas will give you a call, you may want to leave your phone number somewhere,,,,, also instead of giving away your book when we sell our Tshirts it will either be the other way around or we give the Tshirts away for free, or a 2 for 1 sale!!!

i am glad to have you back, and i am anticipating your next story.


loved the outakes! great addition to the story!!!!!

i am voting right now.... you want to win best female right? just joking

 

Watto,

You had me laughing out loud in my living room! Thanks so much man. The T-shirts idea--just great! . I had almost totally forgotten about those. How is Griffon2k doing these days? Haven't seen him post ever and didn't see anything from him on THE thread in a while. Anyway...I think we'll stick to selling T-shirts (that way Lucas doesn't hunt me down, turn me upside down and shake me till all the money falls out! LOL! )

Anyway..can't wait to see you over by the Yoda story. If you need a link, just let me know. I think I posted one here too.

Thanks again, dude. I'll never be happier than hearing from you guys.

 

I'm embarrassed that I'm just now making it over, but better late than never, right? It's late so all I can say is WOW! This was incredible. Your Yoda characterizations are the best I've seen--better than the EU. Most Yoda's are awkward; but this one was perfect. I love the AU you created--never would have entered my mind. And the suspense! Great job.

 

There was a prophecy that I would make a good review, a set of my opinions, of thoughts that went through my mind at the moment of reding. I swore to do it objectively, so there might be some bad critics. Hey. I?m no writer, but I?ve read a lot of non-SW-referrence books. The writer?s good, he has certain points that destinguish him from other amateurs and lift him higher to the level of ... I can?t advertise other people, but BDS knows who.

If there?s a spelling error, I don?t give a #@$&. (*insert any 4-letter insult*)

The writer rocks. Period. If someone else thinks otherwise, well, (*looks the mods in the eye*), well...well......you?re entitled to your own opinion.

A review of a sort

The Chosen One

?Palpatine turned around.

?Jar Jar, your services are no longer required.?

?Messa fired??

?Yousa fried!!!? ?

*insert lightning here*

...am I not allowed to dream?

I like the way you used Mace?s greatest strenght-his ability to sense shatterpoints, as an opposition to Palpatine?s only weakness at the time-his trust in Skywalker.
I also liked the comparison with Dooku:

?"He's too dangerous to be left alive. If you could have taken Dooku alive, would you have?"

Skywalker's face swept itself clean of emotion. "That was different--"

Mace turned toward the cringing, beaten Sith Lord. "You can explain the difference after he's dead." ?

I think this is too familiar, maybe from the fan novel or a spoiler, but I love to hear it over and over again. Personally I believe this to be better than the dialogue in the final script, but that is just me.

The way Mace sensed the weakest spot gave me the chills. He couldn?t sense Palpatine was a Sith until he chose to reveal himself, and yet he could sense Anakin was married in a moment that dense...it seems Anakin still has much to learn about hiding his feelings. Although an AU, it made me wonder whether Yoda could sense Anakin?s fears in the meditation chamber scene in the movie. Maybe he had known all the time the two were married, but had decided to allow Skywalker a little freedom given how he?s the Chosen One. Like Vandar allowed the exile certain liberties in The Sith Lords game.

?Twenty-five thousand years of Jedi history rode on the shoulders of this Chosen One who was never really a Jedi.?

Great line. You seem to be creative. Excellent.

Mace has always been the invincible Jedi Master with a lightsaber. But here we see him doing Yoda?s business. Lovely.

My friens and I always argued about how on Earth a Jedi Blademaster could not sense a kid cutting his arm off. Some said the Jedi died if they were caught unguard, like the other 3 Jedi accompaning Mace. Maybe it was done to speed up the movie. This is one of the reasons I like the fannovel.

?You have been found guilty of a pathetic plot to destroy the Jedi and a sinister plot to destroy my Republic. I sentence you to death." ?

Damn, that?s Shaft speaking. Love IT!

?Mace Windu could feel the Chosen One coming but made no attempt to stop him. Instead, he plunged his lightsaber into the Chancellor's head, exactly as the Sith Lord had done to Master Agen Kolar mere moments ago. He pulled it out with satisfying grin. The Chancellor of the Republic crumpled lifeless to the floor.?

THIS is getting you an award. PERIOD.

The vision that by some was put in Anakin?s head had vanished. I like the way you have explained this. This sets the limit between the writer and the reader. Noone else would have said ?And if you did, your vision would have become a reality. I saved you, Anakin--from yourself. I saved Padme." ? It almost sounds as if Lucas has written it himself. And I can deffinitely imagine SLJ say those words. He so owns them.

The Vaapad. Causing Depa to fall. Now Mace. Attachment is forbidden. And he fell because he was too possesive to the Republic, too much afraid to see it fall. Dark Mace or dead Mace. I would say dark. I like Mace. Sometimes you have to choose the lesser evil. That?s about it. But which one was destroyed...the lesser evil or the Master e

 

Wow! An amazing (and completely flattering) review! Thanks so much!! PM to follow!

 

I'm doing great Souder, if you can see from my recent posts back at THE thread. I've been in and out of the forums lately, and hadn't been able to post as regularly as I usually do. One of the causes for this was my girlfriend, she had just returned from a long business trip around the fourth, and there was a great deal of quality time to be had.

I am elated to see you have finished the story. I refrained from posting until it was finished to prevent myself from trying to predict where it was going, but I have to admit you have surprised me a great deal. You have integrated many of the ideas that we threw around in THE thread and have truly given us a look at what Anakin could have become had his fall been prevented, albeit with the destruction and loss that would still have come with it. Padme's ascension to Chancellorship (a position she was meant to have), Anakin's unspoken new leadership of the Jedi Council, the Republic's return to democracy, and the banishment of Palpatine/the Sith's influence, these are all very credible and very possible plot directions with a subtle change in the events of RotS, and that is what makes your work so powerful and successful. I believe that it was the will of the Force for Padme to lead the Republic to understanding the power of the Democracy they wielded and for Anakin to lead the Jedi Order to understand and accept the totality of the Force, thus giving the Jedi as servants of the Force balance, and ending the long perpetuated existence of the Sith. You have realized these ideas in your prose and I am grateful for that.

I'm glad to see that you intend to work on other stories, I have no doubt these will be as intelligent and enjoyable as this one. I will be there to support those as well. I actually think you should try to submit "Fall of the Sith" to Lucas Books and see if they'll let you tackle one of their projects or better yet propose a "What if" series branching off of subtle changes in the continuity that lead to new stories and directions. Dark Horse has done this with their Star Wars Infinities series and it has done well. That's a lot of work though, so I accept it's wishful thinking. Lol.

Lastly, I want to thank you for inspiring me to return to prose as well. I had grown a lil frustrated with a novel I have been working on, and your piece has inspired me to return to it. I hope to find the same dedication and drive that has pushed you to finish this work. I'll need it as the novel I am working on it part of a trilogy. As soon as I'm finished, you'll get get a pre-printed copy of the manuscript for screening purposes. It's the least I can do to thank you for the inspiration you've given me.

BTW, I haven't forgotten about the t-shirts, I've just been so bogged down with graphic work lately, that I've had to put some of my own projects aside to meet customer demands. Such is the way of Graphic Design. I'll keep you and Watto posted though.

 

Just realized I never posted at the end of the story.

Marvelous ending to a fantastic read. You did a great job tying up the plot, and more importantly the themes as you developed them from your AU starting point. The happy ending for A/P and Obi-Wan was great, of course. And I thought the exile you chose for Mace was a fitting resolution for him.

Fun deleted scenes too.

Congratulations on finishing your story. It's an incredible addition to the boards, and well deserving of all its nominations in the awards. (Good luck!) I'll try to check out your new story soon.

Great job!

 

I went through reading this entire story without posting once. That is because I didn't find this until the end but when I did I was extremely interested in what happened. Well done. I can imagine all the time it has taken to write this which is in fact of novel length. The characters all seemed tangible and one was able to imagine each one actually saying that in a Starwars movie. You did good. You did very good. Well done. You must be proud of this achievement.

 

Well, I just read the entire story and I must say it's the best ROTS AU I've seen, and one of the best SW fics I've seen. Your style and your attention crystalized the characters perfectly. Reading this, I really felt this could be a novel. Great job.

P.S.: SEQUEL!!!!!

 

My page actually fell off my active notification list and I hadn't checked the thread in a while.
Sorry I haven't responded until now! Bad thread host! Bad!!

Griffon2K: Thanks so much, man! Every word of encouragement from my buddies at THE thread makes my entire day!! Hope to see you over at Descent Into The Dark. I've been having tons of fun writing it. I can't wait to read your work. Make sure you send me a PM with a link as soon as you post something. If it's not SW (which..*gasp*...I'm going to write some non-SW stuff in the near future here), send me an email! I'm really excited to hear that you're writing. Skywalker3248 has been doing well with his Stover takeoff and I love reading it!

Darth_Lex: Thanks, man! As you well know, I've been enjoying your writing a lot lately myself! I miss the Saga boards, though. Seems a lot fewer people visit the Beyond the Saga boards. Anyway..thanks again!

fistofthedarklord: Thanks! It's always great when someone is moved to delurk and post. I'm really happy you enjoyed the story.

Jek_Windu: Best AU you've seen??! Thanks so much!! You've made my entire week!!

Regarding a sequel, I've decided that I will write one. I won't start on it until Descent Into The Dark. is complete (which won't be for at least a month from now). PM me in a month and I'll let you know if I've started on it!

Thanks again to all of you for your support!

 

I must agree that this is truely a fantastic story, and your Yoda based story is just as good, if not better.

When you do the sequal in a few months or so, whenever your time allows for you to do so, would you allow a request for any individual Jedi to make a guest appearance at some point?

 

LOL! Hyperion, for you and you alone, because you've given me such great feedback and you're such a dedicated reader (although you haven't been posting as much over at the Yoda thread ), you can make a request for any Jedi who is alive at the time of the Sequel and I will make sure they play a role (if only a cameo)!

 

The lightsaber flew into his hand like a lover's embrace

I love this.

 

YEAH! SEQUEL!!

 

Vaneria: I am flattered that you love any part of my story! I particularly enjoy talking about the relationship between a Jedi and his weapon. I'm glad you can appreicate the imagery!

Baby_Death_Star: LOL! Yes, there will be a sequel. But...don't get too excited. It might be a month or so before I start on it.

 

Only one month?? One single month? Gone and over like ... phhh!??




Yippie!! Sequel already at the horizon!!

 

originally, when you invited me to read this, I was going to tell you what I thought after reading the whole thing, but then I realized that I would forget the stuff that I read earlier (as is evidenced by reading the first 3 chapters, and then not reading anything for a while because I was busy updating stuff, and doing other things)

Therefore, I'm going to comment every time I read a chunk of your story.

I forget the exact details when I read the first three chapters, though I skimmed them. My memory may be incorrect, so please bear with me.

I read the Stover novel, and I found it useful in understanding certain things from the movies, but some of it really bothered me. If I am understanding what you are doing with the Force, in this story, it is used in the same way that Stover used it, right?

I am just trying to figure that out exactly.

And although I don't happen to like Stover's personal style of writing...especially the "this is how it feels to be this character" I must say that you have certainly captured it well. I agree with other readers that if I didn't know the difference, I would think that he had written that extra bonus scene, and that your stuff fits very well with the Stover novel. For being able to do this, I applaud you.

The storyline itself is very interesting. I never read Stover's other books...the ones that you yourself and other readers were referring to, so I'm not going to understand those references. (So know that what I say is from the perspective of someone who has never read them.)

According to Stover's novel, I can see it as plausable that Mace could turn to the Dark Side, considering how close he comes to the Dark Side when using his special Saber technique.

In the movies, though, it's harder for me to imagine that he would go to the Dark Side.

The way you have written this story, you have provided enough background information (beautifully) that it is definitely belieavable in your story.

Instead of trying to handle this situation himself, I am glad to hear that Anakin is going to other Jedi for help, and is trying to get Padmé as far away from Mace as possible. I'm glad to know that he thought of her protection.

It was touching to see how much it meant to see Padmé leave for Tatooine...how the most important things and people to him were in that ship.

I wonder exactly what Mace found in his desk...was it Order 66, which another reader suggested, or the Death Star plans, which yet another reader suggested, or something to do with being a Sith...maybe a Sith handbook or something, or was it something totally irrelevant....or something new that you will introduce into the story

Great job. I'm going to continue to read until I finish reading this...but in spurts. Right now I have read chapters 1-6. I'm ready for 7 now.

 

I'm now ready to read part 9. You sure have shown Mace as someone who knows what he is doing.

He's had this Senate session well thought out, artisitcally. I liked how you showed the Senate members' reactions and changes to what they saw on their screen.

That part was beauifully done.

It's something people in real life have to be on the guard against...because I believe something like this will happen again with a real figure...and if someone is able to influecne people like that...it leaves room for some dangerous stuff

I look forward to reading the reactions of others involved in this story.

 

I have not yet read chapter 12, but I wanted to make a comment now...since I've been reading for a long time and have gone a few chapters without saying anything.

I get the feeling...and chapter 11 again brought it up, that Mace Windu is kind of like an antichrist figure. I have seen Palpatine as this from the beginning, but Mace in your story is even more so...

The Yoda scene was entertaining, and so were the Senate session scenes. I also am glad that Anakin got some support from fellow Jedi...emotional support that he didn't seem to have in the movise. I too see that as one reason he turned to Palpatine, and thus the Dark Side.

Great writing!

 

LukeSkywalker_2001: You're in luck! You get my special attention! (j/k)

I read the Stover novel, and I found it useful in understanding certain things from the movies, but some of it really bothered me. If I am understanding what you are doing with the Force, in this story, it is used in the same way that Stover used it, right?

I'm interested in what it was that bothered you exactly. But...to answer your question, my interpretation of the Force is not precisely the same as Stover's. Hopefully, you'll see that by the end of the story.

The storyline itself is very interesting. I never read Stover's other books...the ones that you yourself and other readers were referring to, so I'm not going to understand those references. (So know that what I say is from the perspective of someone who has never read them.)

Having read Shatterpoint might help you understand one or two things, but it's not that important, I think. Hopefully, I explained it well enough that you can get the gist of it without having read all the EU stories. If you have a question, please ask.

In the movies, though, it's harder for me to imagine that he would go to the Dark Side.

When you see the movie again, I'd like you to take a look at Mace's face when his blade is locked with Sidious during thier battle--very angry looking. Then...look at his face when he says "I'm going to finish this once and for all!" Not very passive and "only for defense" oriented. That being said, I understand that it isn't obvious at all. But that's the nature of this, isn't it? Going to the dark side is about internal vice external conflict. Anyway...hopefully when you get close to the end (around Chapter 19 or 20, I think) you'll be satisfied with how Mace turns to the dark side.


You sure have shown Mace as someone who knows what he is doing.

He's had this Senate session well thought out, artisitcally. I liked how you showed the Senate members' reactions and changes to what they saw on their screen.

That part was beauifully done.

It's something people in real life have to be on the guard against...because I believe something like this will happen again with a real figure...and if someone is able to influecne people like that...it leaves room for some dangerous stuff

Thanks so much!! I'm glad you like it. I happen to agree with your last statement, btw. And...yes...he would probably handle our government in much the same way that Mace handles the Galactic Senate.

I get the feeling...and chapter 11 again brought it up, that Mace Windu is kind of like an antichrist figure. I have seen Palpatine as this from the beginning, but Mace in your story is even more so...

There are definite parallels between Mace and the anti-Christ. There is one key difference though. I'll let you explore that difference when you get to the end of the story.

The Yoda scene was entertaining, and so were the Senate session scenes. I also am glad that Anakin got some support from fellow Jedi...emotional support that he didn't seem to have in the movise. I too see that as one reason he turned to Palpatine, and thus the Dark Side.

I'm glad you like those scenes. I think that Anakin was desperate for support. He only got it from Palpatine--and that was the wrong kind of support. If Anakin had been given love and support from his 'family' he might not have turned to the darkside.

 

okay, I am now ready for chapter 14. This is all I can read today, and it's going to depend on my Vader person whether or not I read a lot tomorrow.

As for comments, you have a lot of description, great dialogue, and overall character interaction in your story.

Now for the specifics:
I agree with other readers in saying that I am glad that Anakin did not achieve the feat of bringing the dead Jedi back to life. I also agree that the power to bring back life should be reserved for God...

Thus, power is limited for Jedi. I was a little confused when you had Yoda talk about unlimited power, when it is clear that the Jedi do not have it in your story. Before reading the chapter of Anakin trying to bring the dead Jedi to life, I was going to make the comment that having unlimited power seemed to be a lie of the Sith...something they grasped for. Perhaps even the Sith believed they could achieve it, but I find it hard to imagine that Yoda would support that idea.

I didn't happen to like the energy stuff either. I understand that this is my personal taste. The ability to see "energy" strikes me as being occultish. However, you wrote the scenes well, and provided great description. The very concept bothered me, not the way you wrote it. There were references to it in the actual Stover novel too (if I remember correctly), and that's one thing that REALLY bothered me about Stover's book..or at least similar things...maybe not about seeing energy, but the way he described the characters when they were using the Force.

Although, happily, there is limits to the use of the Force, sometimes I feel as if certain people still have too much power with it...like Anakin being able to sense Jedi halfway across the galaxy, what they were doing, and what they were thinking. I understand that this too is a personal preference, and that they do this in the EU...even moreso (which is one reason I really don't like the EU).

Like other readers of your story, I really like the fact that you have Padmé as being a very strong character. My biggest complaint about the movie ROTS was that Padmé was too weak. She did boldly stand up to the leaders of the Trade Federation, to the Senate, and everythign...when she was a 14 year old Queen of Naboo, and she also fought alongside Anakin in the battle of Geonosis. In ROTS, she gave up on life...and just died, not fighting for anything. I'm really glad that you have kept her ready to fight for everything that was right in this story. I hope you don't kill her off.

I am wondering what will happen to the "baby", and what will happen when Yoda and Anakin confront Mace....

I also need to find out what this "time has expired" bit that Mace said at the end of chapter 13.

Again, thanks for inviting me to read this.

 

Souderwan,

Oh wow...I just finished reading all parts of chapter 15.
I feel so special. I am receiving your special attention. LOL. Thanks.

It's been a little while since I read the Stover novel...but I'll try and explain as best as I can. What bothered me about his novel was he made the Jedi be everything when they were using the Force. Here...let me try and look at the book to give you an example so you have a better idea of what I am talking about.

This is at the beginning of chapter 7 (there are other instances of this type of thing throughout the book)

"He doesn't even need to reach the Force. He has already let the Force reach into him. The Force flows over him and around him as though hea has stepped into a crystal-pure waterfall lost in the green coils of a forgotten rain forest; when he opens himself to that sparkling stream it flows into him and through him and out again without the slightest interference from his conscious will. The part of him that calls itself Obi-Wan Kenobi is no more than a ripple, an eddy in the pool into which he endlessly pours.

There are other parts of him here, as well; there is nothing here that is NOT a part of him, from the scuff mark on R2-D2's dome to the tattered hem of Palpatine's rebe, from the spidering crack in one transparisteel panal of the curving view wlal ablve to the great starships that still battle beyond it.

Beause this is all part of the Force...."

I lost my Internet connection in the middle of this, so I'll be back to comment about the rest

 

All right then, thanks for telling me that your interpretation of the Force is not precisely the same as Stover's. That's helpful, as I was trying to figure out just what the Force is in your story. Since it's not exactly the same, that'll help me understand your story as I get farther into it.

Glad that reading Shatterpoint is not essential to understanding your story...was worried there for a second. Yes, I think I am understanding everythign that is happening in your story pretty well. If I have any questions, I'll be sure to ask.

All right...next time I see ROTS (which probably won't be until it comes out on DVD/VHS.) I'm sure that Mace would have been angry in that situation...Palpatine was fighting everything that he had hoped for. Battling a Sith Lord who has taken over the Republic is serious business. Yes, he may very well have been angry...but "angry-looking" doesn't necessarily mean that someone is extremely angry either. Often when people concentrate on something really hard, they appear to be angry.

Finding out that Sidious is in control of the Republic couldn't have made him happy. When I watched it before, I took it as Mace being very serious, but I didn't study his face carefully. I will make a note of doing so next time I watch.

I look forward to reading chapters 19 or 20...I'll let you know then whether or not I am satisfied with how Mace turns to the Dark Side

It's nice to know that other people agree...yes, someone in a similiar situation would handle the governument in much the same way that Mace handles it...but that may not just be confined to our own goverernment...the concept could be applied to other organizations or governments. It's always dangerous when one person has a lot of power, no matter how "great" that person may appear to be.

I look forward to exploring this difference between Mace and the anti-Christ, and I'll let you know my opinion once I reach the end of the story. If something really strikes me, I may comment about it through upcoming chapters as well.

You know, this is applicable to real life situations as well. People seek out support, guidance...whatever, and will go for anything that seems to satisfy them. Sometimes it can be found in the wrong places...such as Anakin found from Palpatine.

The Jedi may have given him love and support, but he just didn't realize it until later....but it also seems as if they didn't know exactly what he needed or how to help him. He was a Jedi not raised in the Jedi Temple. He struggled with thoughts/emotions that the Jedi would not have been able to relate to. Many of them expected him to act as any "normal" Jedi would act.

I think Anakin felt misunderstood by them often....as if they didn't really care about him, that they didn't know how to relate to him.

If they had taken the time to find out, and lovingly support him, then yes, things would have been very different.
__________________________________________________________________
Now for my comments about chapter 15:

I liked the bit you had about "no one can really know the future." This is so true! So many people try, and try to find out the future, but we just need to be satisfied, and accept the fact that we don't know the future. People can try all they want...but there is a reason that we do not know exactly what will happen next. We would know nothing of trust, and we would miss out on what is happening at the moment...and we would never be content, and life would not be surprising

As for the "accept" thing...that is interesting. I liked it...because that is something that so many people have trouble with. It has a lot to do with faith and trust, I think, as I said up there. What exactly this "accept" message could be about seems it could be about several things: accept that he is not all-powerful, accept that he doesn't know the future and that no one does, accept what will eventually happen to Padmé and everything else in the universe...death, accept something else....

When you wrote about peace,

 

Around 20 minutes ago I found this fanfic, I read it all the way through, occasionally stopping to eat and/or drink, and to be honest, I've read some great ones on this board, the Grievous ones, the Harry Potter/Star Wars ones and lots of other short ones, but this one is just amazing, you expressed feelings perfectly and I could imagine the movie characters acting this out, simply amazing. You should really publish a book.