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  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

Saga Fall of the Sith (AU RoTS, A/P, Mace Windu, and more..)--**COMPLETE** **New Story Link Posted**

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Souderwan, Jun 3, 2005.

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  1. Barbarossa_Rotbart

    Barbarossa_Rotbart Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jun 3, 2004
    Interesting! Trying to keep all Jedi where they can be controlled (or killed) and with no means to escape. Was that Sidious' idea or Windu's?
     
  2. Cobranaconda

    Cobranaconda Jedi Grand Master star 7

    Registered:
    Mar 3, 2004
    =D=

    Well done, yet another brilliant chapter. And I didn't see anything wrong with it :)

    I'd think that Palps would have given the order so that Obi-Wan would be away from Anakin during the "turning", or failed turning, as is the case here.
     
  3. Arcalian

    Arcalian Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Mar 13, 2005
    Again, good stuff, especially with Anakin coming into his own in that way, and yay for Shaak-Ti. I like her. :)
     
  4. DarthAJ

    DarthAJ Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 9, 2004
    Excellent post! I can't wait to see what else Mace does. You captured the naive presence in Shaak Ti perfectly. And's its funny to see that Obi-wan won't use the Force until he has to. Good post!
     
  5. Grand_Admiral_Grant

    Grand_Admiral_Grant Ex-Mod star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Nov 30, 2004
    This story is getting better with each new chapter!

    I already prefer it when i compare it with the crappy script from George Lucas.
     
  6. watto-

    watto- Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Jun 10, 2005
    cobranaconda...

    thank you for the info i just copied what you had there and PM'd the place you told me to. i put souders name by the categories i thought he qualified for. do i need to do anything else?

    souder,,, you have me on the edge of my seat..... i didnt see anything wrong either. the only thing i thought was i didnt know obi wasnt already on his way, but you never wrote that he actually left so that was my problem not yours. you could keep this going forever, i dont think any of us will tell you to stop.

    as for the palp/mace question. i think it may have actually been mace, for the same reason all of the clone troopers are at the doorways of the senate. plus in an earlier chapter mace wanted all of the council to meet and anakin did not need to be there, so i am wondering if mace is going to follow palps plan..... this may be even more tragic than having anakin fall.
     
  7. Rassick

    Rassick Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jan 26, 2004
    Great job, Souderwan. Your story gets better with each offering. I wish my Sands of Tatooine fanfic would get nominated for something in the fanfic awards, but ah well. You're more deserving, and the better man here. :)
     
  8. Souderwan

    Souderwan Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Jun 3, 2005
    Cobranaconda: Thanks for the feedback, as always. Again, I appreciate the whole nomination thing **still in shock**

    Arcalian: I like Shaak Ti, too. I was starting to miss her in my story. Sadly, she's not really central to the storyline so don't expect to see too much of her. I might write a story all about her in my next outing (After my young Yoda story, that is). I haven't decided yet...

    DarthAJ: Thanks again, buddy! Always glad to hear from you. I hoped you'd find Obi-Wan's discussion with the Clone Commander at least half as amusing as I did writing it. I've met Clone Commander Maverick! I don't know how many times I wished I had the ability to just Mind Trick him to shut him up! [face_laugh]

    Grand_Admiral_Grant: I appreciate the compliment. But you don't really think the script was all that crappy, do you? Sure, the dialogue could use some work...but that's always been a problem in GL's movies, I think. But I loved the movie, personally.

    watto-: Thanks for the vote, man! You know how much I appreciate it. BTW, I miss THE thread, too. I've been so busy with my story I just haven't had the time to write to it. I've checked in a couple of times, though and am happy to see you guys keeping the thread going. I'll be back. I promise.

    You're right, I could keep this going forever (Lord knows enough divergent lines of thought keep trying to pop in and derail the creative process...) but I assure you, there is an end in sight (quite a few posts away, though...)

    Regarding where the order came from (Mace/Sidious), I'll leave that one up for discussion. Who knows, maybe the answer will become painfully obvious shortly. Or not. [face_devil]
     
  9. Souderwan

    Souderwan Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Jun 3, 2005
    Rassick: Thanks a bunch, buddy. I really appreciate the thought. I'm not sure if you're right about me being more deserving or anything...I happen to enjoy your story immensely. I'm not sure what category to put you in, but maybe I'll try to nominate you...
     
  10. Cobranaconda

    Cobranaconda Jedi Grand Master star 7

    Registered:
    Mar 3, 2004
    watto-, I don't think so. You send it in, Jenn and Myri reply and say they've received the noms, and then they're placed on the master list in the FanFic Resource.

    Souderwan - Cobranaconda: Thanks for the feedback, as always. Again, I appreciate the whole nomination thing **still in shock**

    It wasn't just me though. At the very least you have 3 other people nomming you for stuff. More, maybe, as one person that nominated you as best new author may not have been one of the ones that nominated this fic as Best Action.

    EDIT: Oh, and people, try not to nominate yourselves, as all of your votes get thrown out (I think), and that'd be a waste.
     
  11. Darth-Lutgerous

    Darth-Lutgerous Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 24, 2005
    Another great post! It is interesting how some jedi can sense things in the force that others can't. It is also good that you put in that the jedi were being watched very closely and could not escape, which was obviously part of Palpatine's Order 66. I wonder what will happen next: a confrontation between Yoda and Mace? Sounds cool! I can't wait for your next post!
     
  12. watto-

    watto- Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Jun 10, 2005
    Cobranaconda

    i got a reply so everything seems to have worked out ok. thanks for the help.

    Souder no problemo.
    there really hasnt been too much action anywhere overthere, i have participated in a few discussions here. i have a new topic to move into on Bail but i am going to wait until more of the "gang" is available. btw i loved the fact that the clone troopers both destroyed the rings and were watching the jedi so closely its almost like order 65. and of course obi using the ole jedi mind trick was an awesome use of his talents.
     
  13. Skywalker3248

    Skywalker3248 Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Jun 5, 2005
    You didn't tell me you had posted again in our chat just now SOuderwan!

    Tsk, tsk!

    Anyway, I just caught, looks brilliant as always!

    Just saved it have fuller and more considered read, and post with a fuller reply. Congrates on your nominations, I think should win, not contest!
     
  14. Lord_Zeron

    Lord_Zeron Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Mar 19, 2005
    More great chapters, Souderwan. As I've said before, this is wonderful! You deserve those nominations, this is very interesting and it gets more so with every chapter. You really have a talent when it comes to writing! Excellent work!

    :)
     
  15. DarthAJ

    DarthAJ Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 9, 2004
    Sent in my nominations!
     
  16. Souderwan

    Souderwan Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Jun 3, 2005
    [face_blush]

    I really don't what to say...[face_blush]


    Thanks, you guys. I'm working on the next post right now. You'll have to forgive any slowdown over the next few days...lot's going on at home. (Boring stuff like, redoing my floors and fixing my back fence, gardening, stuff like that). I'll try to keep up though. :)

    Thanks again. You guys should see something tomorrow, I hope.
     
  17. TorontoJediMaster

    TorontoJediMaster Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 14, 2001
    Great post again.

    Interesting how the other Jedi Masters didn't seem to understand just what had happened. In a way, it didn't matter. They heard Anakin's call and returned, where he could fill them in on the details then.

    I suspect they're all going to be horrified that Mace Windu fell to the Dark Side -and shocked that it was Anakin who was able to resist (although with some troubles that he's still encountering).

    I was wondering when Obi-Wan would lose patience and resort to the Jedi Mind Trick on the clones. LOL As for the hyperspace rings being destroyed, I think that was more likely Mace than Palpatine. Palpatine had Order 66 planned as a final solution for the Jedi. Mace -at least for now- might not want something that permanent. Destroying the hyperspace rings would be a way to simply prevent Jedi from returning to Coruscant until he was ready.

    Right now, the Jedi are in for some serious problems. Sooner or later, Mace will decide to prevent them from interfering with his plans. I think they should start making emergency plans to evacuate the Temple if necessary. As for Anakin, I think he's past the danger of falling to the Dark Side. Now, he's aware of the dragon within him and the danger it represents. So long as he's mindful of it and what it can do, he won't allow his anger to take control of him.

    Can't wait for Obi-Wan to return and for Anakin and Yoda to break the news to the rest of the Jedi Masters.
     
  18. Souderwan

    Souderwan Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Jun 3, 2005
    I'm not sure how many of you have been waiting for this part of the story, but I know I've been dying to write it. Hope you enjoy! :)

    --------------------------Birth Of An Empire-------------------------------------------------------

    The Galactic Senate was a maelstrom of cheers and celebration. Inside the Senate Arena the excitement was palpable and the euphoria echoed across the resplendent walls in the form of unbounded praise for their new savior?Jedi Master Mace Windu.

    The Senate Area was filled with Senators and their aides standing in their pods screaming as loudly as they could. Each was desperate to be the first one to go on record congratulating the Jedi Order in general, and Master Mace Windu in particular, for their heroic acts in saving the Republic.

    They all felt the same relief. They all shared the same thought.

    Mace Windu has saved us all!

    Well, not quite everybody.

    Bail Organa remained seated, stunned into submission. He was still recovering from what he had just seen. He had never truly trusted Palpatine. The man was simply too good a politician to have failed so terribly to negotiate a truce with the Separatists before it came to war. It was common knowledge that the Chancellor had secretly tried to pin the war on the Jedi. No one had taken the rumors seriously though because the Jedi had no motive. But the pang of doubt had remained. Many were ready to outlaw the Jedi Order?although they would never have publicly voted that way.

    Now, Senator Organa noted sadly, these same Senators were standing tallest and shouting loudest in support of the very same group they had planned to betray.

    Politics! his mind spat angrily.

    Thousands of creatures from all over the galaxy were gathered together in this place for the express purpose of ensuring the safety and security of the Republic. So many men and women whose ideal was to be the common good. And yet, these creatures only knew how best to serve themselves.

    He shook his head with increasing dismay at the way his beloved Republic had spiraled out of control.

    The room suddenly quieted in the only way that it could be under the circumstances. With the firm, but gentle upraised hands of the Vanquisher of Evil. The Grand Convocation Chamber became as deathly quiet as it had been prior to the uttering of the most famous four words spoken in Republic history.

    The silence was broken almost as quickly as it began.

    ?I move that we elect a new Chancellor immediately as the next order of business!? Announced the Senator from Sullist. ?I nominate myself for the position.?

    As quickly as the cacophony had ended, it erupted again like the volcanoes of Mustafar. The entire auditorium was alight in heated debate as each Senator tried to convince the one closest to him why he should be selected as the next Chancellor.

    Bail said nothing. Instead he watched the Jedi Master, who nodded in apparent resignation. He looked saddened by the display. He screwed his face into a look of pure disgust and turned from the podium as if about to leave. The room quieted quickly as the Senators noticed the Jedi Master?s actions. One lone Senator from Manda spoke.

    ?Master Windu,? she said in a voice that was calm and sincere. The room silently listened weighing every word she uttered. ?We beg you not to leave. There must be some way to maintain control without sinking into a political war. What wisdom does the Jedi Council provide??

    The Jedi Master?s shoulders visibly slumped as if this beautiful young Senator had just laid the heaviest burden of all on his shoulders. He turned slowly and faced the podium again. In place of the smiling face he had produced for the Senate body upon his earlier announcement was a face of deep sadness, yet acquiescence. He looked out across the field of creatures that encompassed representatives from the thousands of worlds that comprised the Galactic Republic.

    He smiled.


    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    This i
     
  19. windu-the-warrior

    windu-the-warrior Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    May 3, 2005
    good work can't say more...it is really good but wierd...i've never seen Mace Windu in such light...but it's good
     
  20. Exeter

    Exeter Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 2, 2005
    Wow, now that was a speech. Even Palpatine could have learned a thing or two from him.

    And Bail understood. They would give Mace Windu whatever he wanted. The voice vote was just a formality.

    I think that passage stayed with me above all of the others. It brings into focus just how bad the situation - and how screwed the silent objector's are. Palpatine was bad, but even he didn't have the luxury of openly wielding the Force. I could feel how cold Bail must have felt when Windu was staring at him, because he knew that the fallen (or ascended?) Jedi had been monitoring the direction of the Senator's inner thoughts.
     
  21. Paladin3030

    Paladin3030 Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    May 27, 2005
    Mace how could you? :(

    So he took control of the Republic in the same style Hitler used to take over Germany by popular vote.

    The only difference is Germany was in a rutt from a lost war & the Republic is on cloud nine from a short victorious war.
     
  22. Cobranaconda

    Cobranaconda Jedi Grand Master star 7

    Registered:
    Mar 3, 2004
    Yet another stunningly well written chapter. And you managed to grab Bail's feelings really well, and map out the depths of the way Mace had manipulated the Senate.

    Very well done!

    EDIT: Awards Update:

    Fall of the Sith has:

    Qualified for Best AU
    2 Votes in Best Action
    1 Vote in Best Crossover (WTH? I thought Crossover was mixing one fandom with another!)
    1 Vote in Best All Around

    Souderwan has:

    Qualified for Best Author
    Qualified for Best New Author

    Well Done!
     
  23. Hyperion51

    Hyperion51 Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Jun 11, 2005
    Interesting. If Mace wants control of the Jedi Order, is he going to let the Jedi live, or kill them and put people that he can turn dark into the Order instead?

    Even if Mace is the new Sith Lord, this is actually good for the Jedi compared to Palpatine. Mace may not want to go through with some of Palpatine's plans and would take time setting up any of his own. Also Mace may not be aware of what exactly Palpatine had planed, such as Order 66, among other things, since he's only been evil for a day or so. Plus, he just showed himself and three other Jedi fighting Palpatine, and three Jedi being killed. That will give the Jedi in general some support among the Senate and the general population that may not have been there with Palpatine manipulating the Senate.
     
  24. Souderwan

    Souderwan Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Jun 3, 2005
    I'm so glad this last post has spurred a little discussion. I love a good discussion.

    I'm glad you liked the speech Paladin but I can't take credit. Most of that was Stover's characterization of Palpatine's speech. I made some edits here and there, but the gist of it's the same.

    If you'd like a hint at Mace's plans vs. Sidious' plans, take a look at that speech. It should be very revealing.

    Cobranaconda: Best Crossover? That doesn't make any sense to me either. Maybe the Mods for the system didn't read my story and so didn't disqualify it from that category.

    I actually have a vote for Best All Around?! That's so cool! [face_dancing]

    I really appreciate all your votes. Thanks for starting the ball rolling Cobranaconda. If anybody else out there decides to vote for me, I want to say thanks in advance. This has been one of the best writing experiences of my life. Your comments about my story is far more important than any award and I've enjoyed them immensely. Being nominated in so many categories...well...it's really cool. :cool:

    Just to let you guys know, I probably won't pump out another chapter until Monday or Tuesday. That last one kept me up until 3 a.m. Of course, I've been early most times with my chapters so you never know...
     
  25. DarthAJ

    DarthAJ Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 9, 2004
    Great post souderwan! It's cool to see Mace taking over Palpatine's position. I hope Bail doesn't get hurt from when he stood up. It eould be tragic to see Mace killing him for *treason*.



    Can't wait till monday!
     
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