Fan Film Script

Discussion in 'Fan Films, Fan Audio & SciFi 3D' started by Ad_Argolisen, May 18, 2002.

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  1. Dalen_Fan_Jakan Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    May 22, 2002
    Hi you guys, It's me again. I was looking thru the topic and I noticed that people seem to like to argue about 'Gilgath'. The new name isn't too bad. And is Smockclay's first name, Abobado? If it is, then what is with that? And when do you think that the movie's tailers will go onto TFN?
  2. Ad_Argolisen Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 29, 2002
    Well, Dalen_Fan_Jakan. I'm just doing the script. I don't know when it will go onto TFN. And as for Smockclay's first name, it is not Abobado. If you see the name in the scipt please tell me. Thanks.
  3. Ad_Argolisen Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 29, 2002
    Just a friendly *bump*
  4. Ad_Argolisen Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 29, 2002
    Just a friendly *bump*
  5. Darth_Apporth Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 29, 2001
    star 1
    Gilgath...

    Hmmm...

    I'm thinking of changing my ID to Darth Gilgath - it has quite a ring to it...

    Darth Gilgath...
  6. Ad_Argolisen Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 29, 2002
    Okay, how about this:

    Kay: Greetings, all. I welcome you to the Republic Warship Thunderbolt. You are a large group? (indrawn breath) Nighthawk! You would betray the ruling of the Jedi Council?
    Nighthawk: Whoa!! Kay, whatd'you mean? I haven't disobeyed a single word of the Council since I left the order!
    Kay: You've taken an apprentice, and you know full well the Council has expressly forbidden any but Jedi Masters to instruct in the ways of the Force.
    Nighthawk: Kay, I haven't trained an apprentice since before I left the order. I haven't the slightest... idea... Oh. I get it. (he looks at Cindy). Opps.
    Cindy: What? What is it?
    Nighthawk: I guess I have been getting a bit rusty after all.
    Kay: You didn't sense it at all? I am surprised at you, Nighthawk.
    Cindy: What? Sense what?
    Nighthawk: I guess you'll be taking her off my hands, then...
    Kay: Sorry Nighthawk, you know the rules. I sense much potential in this one.
    Cindy: Hey!!! You can speak to me. I'm right here.
    Kay: Much impatience in her as well.
    Nighthawk: I didn't need the Force to find that out. She's all yours, right?
    Kay: The rules say, he or she who finds a Force-Sensitive creature, it is their responsibility to train them.
    Nighthawk: I know that Kay. I am known in the annals of the Jedi as one who could quote the rules at the earliest age- 3. But I am forbidden to teach anyone the Ways of the Force.
    Kay: However, I can help you out in this. Have her come to room 64 as soon as possible. It is on deck 15.
    Nighthawk: She will be there when she can.
    Cindy: So, are you too just going to ignore me or what?
    Nighthawk: Lets go Cindy. Robert is waiting for you on the Bridge.

    ---Fade to black---
  7. Ad_Argolisen Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 29, 2002
    Well, here it is at last. I would like to thank each and every person on TFN who contributed to this. Also I would like to point out yet again, this is not a disscusion threed for the name 'Gilgath'. Thanks. And without futher adu, here is the script for the Star Wars Fan Film, Dawn of Evil. See ya all later!


    STAR WARS:
    EPISODE 0
    BEGINNING OF DARKNESS

    IT IS A TIME OF PEACE FOR THE OLD REPUBLIC. WITH THE JEDI AT THEIR SIDE, THEY STAND ALL BUT INVINCIBLE.

    BUT PRESSURES ARE BUILDING OUTSIDE, AND EVEN INSIDE THE REACH OF THE REPUBLIC. ONE SUCH PRESSURE IS THE FACTION LED BY THE DARK JEDI LORD DARTH TIBERIUS. COMMANDING A POWERFUL FLEET FROM HIS FLAGSHIP
    SITHSPAWN, HE CONTROLS ONE OF THE MOST TERRIBLE, WELL-KEPT SECRETS IN THE GALAXY. ONE THAT THREATENS TO ERADICATE ALL THAT THE REPUBLIC HAS LABORED SO LONG TO BUILD.

    BUT ALL IS NOT LOST, FOR THE JEDI MASTER KE-SON MAAL HAS DISCOVERED THE SECRET OF THE SITHSPAWN. SUPPORTED BY A GROUP OF JEDI AND THEIR ALLIES, KE-SON IS ALL THAT STANDS BETWEEN THE REPUBLIC AND TOTAL DESTRUCTION. BUT THERE ARE STILL MORE TO JOIN THE FIGHT AGAINST THE JEDI.

    DARTH TIBERIUS'S APPRENTICE, DARTH TORVIS, IS SOON TO BECOME A SITH LORD. WITH HIS ELEVATION, THE FIGHT WILL COMMENCE FOR FREEDOM AND JUSTICE IN THE GALAXY...

    (Darth Torvis and Darth Tiberius are fighting in this opening scene. It is his final test for becoming a Sith Lord. In this battle Darth Torvis wins by disarming his master...)

    Tiberius: You are indeed a worthy apprentice! Your training is nearly complete, but your final test is still to come...
    Torvis: I am ready, my master.
    Tiberius: Ke-Son Maal and Abobado Smocklay have found out about the cloning chambers. They are fleeing this sector in a pair of T-Wing-class Starfighters. Return only after they have been slain.
    Torvis: Yes, my master.

    (Darth Tiberius and Darth Torvis walk toward a building that rises over trees in a forest...)

    ---Fade to new scene---

    ---In the Toprawa Control Room...---

    (Camera views everybody, then switches to Kay Mardorn who is pointing to holographic image of the starship Sithspawn...)

    Kay Mardorn: This is the Sithspawn?Gathered sources say that the Jedi Master Ke-Son Maal and Republic Pilot Abobado Smocklay are being followed by this ship. Smocklay and Ke-Son must survive for they have information vital to the security of the Republic. They have fled to the distant planet of Galdimari. We must intercept the Sithspawn at near that location.

    ([Scott] is leaning against the wall and then swiftly walks away, unnoticed...)

    ---Screen moves from left to right shifting over to Ke-Son Maal and Smocklay in their Starfighters...---

    Ke-Son: There! In that cave.

    (View of camera panning down to a mountainous terrain toward a cave...)

    Smocklay: Yes, Sir.

    (The two ships floats down and enters the rather large cave...)

    Smocklay: We are receiving a transmission from the Republic. They have sent reinforcements to assist us. I hope it?s not too late.

    ---2 Sith ships come out of light speed near a moon...---

    (The two ships split in two opposing directions and the Sithspawn jumps alone while the Dark Falcon joins the rest of the Sith fleet, consisting of 1 Frigate, 2 Victory Star Destroyers, and 1 Modified Corvette, plus 30 K-Wings, 30 Blastboats, and 30 I-7s...)

    (Gold Squadron drops out hyperspace with 2 Corellian Corvettes, 1 Modified Frigate, and 1 Marauder Corvette. There are 10 CloakShape fighters in Gold Squad, 12 Y-Wings in Black Squad, and 14 Z-95s in Blue Squad. The 2 fleets engage each other?battle scene...)

    Gold 8: All ships, we have enemy fighters, bombers and interceptors on an approach vector.
    Blue Leader: Interceptors, S-foils to attack position. Black squad, drop back. We?ll cover you.
    GL: All fighters form attack pattern Delta-5. Bombers and interceptors move to mark 3 point 5 and target their bombers. Corvettes and Frigates, stay back until we break thru their primary defenses.
    Blue Leader: Roger that, Gold leader. Blue squad, Black squad, on me. We?re going in.

    (Black 2 destroys Te
  8. JEDIBYKNIGHT Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 17, 2001
    star 4
    So is it called 'Dawn of Evil' or 'beginnings of darkness' ? If you chose 'Dawn of Evil' then... thanks for choosing my suggestion ! :D If not, then... doesn't really matter :)
  9. SilverFox0440 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 28, 2001
    star 4
    Oh my gosh, some of you are acting incredibly immature.

    Smithee and droideka, I hope you'll reconsider using Gligath in your movies. Personally, I don't think it's a very attractive name. It sounds barbaric (ie, connotations of Goliath), but it seems to mean a lot to Gligath. However, you legally can use it, but be prepared to have a flame war, should your movies ever be released. Don't you think it'd be strange to have like 4 fanfilms all with a character named Gligath?! Gligath, I think you should write a short little sci-fi script, submit it to the writer's guild before these fanfilms are released, and copywrite your character (if it means that much to you), thus preventing either of those people from using a character with the likeness of yours. As for Scott, it doesn't sound very star-wars-ish, like someone said, but if they want to use it they can, seeing as it's a common name, and unless they use the same first and last name as you, you can't file a suit about name defamation or indentity security. ( in case anyone is wondering, my father is a lawyer, my source of information, along with the internet.) Also, Gligath, I wouldn't go around claiming to have copywritten something if you actually haven't anymore. Do you know what it is to copywrite something? It's a legal transaction, not just a claim.

    Argolisen, please, please, please, don't use anymore clichés (a problem I thought plagued your otherwise acceptable script.) And, I would also refrain from using popular words in your names, like falcon, for example, brings memories of the mellenium falcon, which is not something you want. You'll irritate many a fanboy if you name a ship the fill-in-the-blank-falcon. I also suggest formatting your script into the mla screenwriting format. Search google.com for the screenwriting format and you should get several sites that have documentation on it. It's really the only sensible way to go, if you want organization and easy of use in your script. It would help all of us a lot.

    Another thing: your use of fancy catch-words that sound military-ish really annoys me, being in the ROTC myself. If you're going to write about anyone's military (any good military, anyway) you must be consistant. Your commanders just don't feel authentic. Look for some old WWII books and read a few excerpts from them, and study their style and lingo. (theres an answer for that other guy, who asked about battle lingo.)

    As for names, I suggest using this tool called the name-gen, a program for coming up with names for use in RPG's. To find it, ask anyone on rpg.net where to find it. It's only about 200kb, so it's not a big download. Also, you could search for a few online name generators (I know there's a metal gear solid one, that comes up with code names.) And I have a few names you could use: Lan Oran, Flita (long i, pronounced "ee") McJolie, Artsyu Mohagas, Dreamba Iu-iu-Succus (pronounced you-you-suckus), Naple Infero (pronounced napel in-pharoah.) I just made those up just now, so if you'd like to hear more, I'm good at making original names. [Edit: You could also use this old writer's trick: look up synonyms to words that describe the character you need a name for and change the spelling slightly.)

    Dont be a hypocrit, crunchy, think outside of your own box, create your own character (you'd end up feeling better if you did) and respect Gligath's wishes.

    Hopefully, Darth Apporth, you're being sarcastic.

    And nighthawk is a copyrighted comic book character, so i wouldnt use that.

    My two cents.
  10. andalite Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 29, 2002
    star 2
    Well said SilverFox0440. I completely agree with you on most of those comments, and yes, names have been a problem for us from the beginning. We tried the SW name generator, useless. I'll take up your advice on the rpg namegen. Thanks for all the feedback everyone! We hope to make this fanfilm enjoyable for all star wars fans.

    EDIT: And yes, JEDIBYKNIGHT, we are going to use your title Dawn of Evil. Thank you very much for your suggestion.
  11. solitude_high Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jun 9, 2002
    holy crap

    all the guy wanted was his character name back, and not used on here

    is it that hard???

    you guys that took his name are being really stupid
  12. Ad_Argolisen Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 29, 2002
    Okay guys. First of all, the name Scott will not be used in the fan film. It dosen't matter that much anyway because so far the name is not even spoken in the film. Sorry about Nighthawk, forgot that marvel used it. Second, I did use the name generator that andalite suggested for me and came up with my own names. Third, what is mla screenwriting format? I have no clue. Also, I do read old WWII books and what we were trying to do was not be military-ish but suggest that the Republic Cmdrs were mostly mercenaries that were under Nighthawk (Which, by the way, we will change to something else). They are not supposed to feel really authentic. Thanks for that anyways. And what clichés plauged our script? And the Dark Falcon, contrary to popular belief, is not a nock-off of the Millenium Falcon. It just happens to have the same last name. Also, what fan films have the name 'Gilgath' in them? Someone said that there were four, but what are they? Thanks for the help. And solitude_high
    , I don't think that you quite know what you are talking about. The whole thing with 'Gilgath' is that Scott didn't want it used on the internet for the script. Thats all. And we did have permission to use the name in the script. He himself suggested it, I think. So we didn't take his name, and I find that you calling me 'stupid' is really offensive. If you want to do that to people, you should private messange them. Thanks.
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