Resource Fanfic Writer's Desk: Your Place for Writing Discussion, Questions, and Advice

In the bathroom.

 

@Findswoman @pronker - Thank you very much, for responding so promptly.

 

Bathroom, restroom, or Ladies' room is what I hear most often.

 

Cheers All. I have gone with "bathroom".

 

As an American woman, "bathroom", "Ladies room", "toilet" and "restroom" are the ones I've heard most often. A more crude term (mostly used by men) is referring to any of the above as "use the john"
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I need a bit of advice. We all know Phasma's armor gives her increased protection from radiation and can deflect blaster bolts (but I'm not sure I'm buying her claim of trooper armor being impervious to a Wookie, lol) but what about electricity? And, even more specific, a Z6 baton? I know those things are supposed to be non-lethal...but maybe they could still cause a great bit of damage to someone?

 

I don't know what First Order stormtroopers wear under their armour, so I would not risk it, if Phasma has a choice.

 

Heh, I think all they wear underneath is a black body glove. That would be my guess anyway. So, yes, I tend to agree with you, she should exercise caution, I think.

 

Well, Imperial-era body gloves sometimes specify material and abilities, eg. thermal body glove.

First Order versions don't tell you anything, so...

 

Yeah...the fact that FO versions don't really specify what the body gloves are made from/can protect against is a bit of a problem, but nothing really catastrophic. At times like this I just like to wing it, lol.

 

wing it *goes to insert little winged smiley, notices it's gone (?) so inserts other winged smiley instead* Winging it is one of the best perks of writing fics!

 

I like the way you think, pronker!

 

@Phasmus - You could postulate that to protect against a Z6 being taken off the stormie, and used against him/her, the FO body gloves were electricity-resistant.

 

I wanted to say thanks to @Sith-I-5, @Phasmus ,@pronker and @Chyntuck for your advice. I’m trying bits of all of them, and I think I’ve gotten myself unstuck in one of my stories, but the other is still causing my significant amounts of dread on @pronker’s dread scale. Unfortunately, it’s at such a point in the story that I can/t skip past it or go straight to a wrap up without it being a major “Huh? What just happened here?” It’s a pretty emotional scene, with fair amounts of both angst and mush, and I’m just stuck for no good or adequately defined reason. I guess I’m afraid that whatever I write will be cheesy, stilted or melodramatic. I’m trying to take a step back from it (and I’m playing around with some ideas for one-shots, as @Chytuck suggested) but I worry that the longer I put off writing this scene, the harder it’s going to be to get it written.

Has anyone else ever had a scene that makes them feel this way? How did you finally get it written.

 

Can you handle this scene from the point of view of a third party?

Eg. If it is happening in a residential apartment or hotel, can a third party who hears the sounds, bashes at their own ceiling (the protagonists floor) with a broom handle.

You could embrace any perceived cheesiness by having the lovers reference it themselves.

Google cheesy chat up lines. If that doesn't give you inspiration, nothing will

Spoiler

Poe: "Nice dress. That would look lovely on my floor."

Holdo: "By the Force. Could you be any cheesier?"

Poe tapped his ear. "Sorry about that, I've got BB-8 in my ear, feeding me lines. And I'm having to paraphrase, cos he's just giving me whistles and bloops."

Watch some episodes of Coupling on Youtube.

Lastly, why not review whatever it was that inspired you to have this scene in the first place, if such a thing exists.

 

This scene has nothing even remotely similar to err...pick-up artistry.

 

I’ll be a little more specific as to what the scene is:
The characters are exploring a Sith temple, when this AU’s Mara experiences a vision of herself as the Emperor’s Hand; she collapses. Ezra (yes, in this universe she’s with Ezra) has to get her away from the temple and, when she comes to, reassure her that the vision is not real or set in stone. At the same time, the incident probably reminds him of another Sith temple where really bad stuff happened to his friends. Since it’s part of my DDC, it has to be told in first person.

The mush factor is more emotional; physical contact probably wouldn’t go past embracing or kissing, because Hera, Kanan and Luke are also present.

 

Intriguing.

This is slipping beyond my ability to assist.

I don't have much experience of visions. Do people having them, know things?

I can see Mara having a vision of herself sitting across from a wary Imperial star destroyer captain, and him nervously offering her tea, instead of screaming for guards, but would she necessarily know that that is because her vision self is an Emperor's Hand?

The diary element, I would have thought, would make things easier, because you don't write those in the moment; it can be written as mushy or as perfunctory as you like, as you are looking back on the day's events. It's only a diary.

Maybe not to you, and certainly not to me, but I had Googled "cheesy bedroom lines", and that quote I gave Poe, came from Top 20 Cheesy Chat Up Lines Ladies Really Love.

Someone out there rates it.

 

Just write it just the way you picture them in your head. Let them be as cheesy and mushy and awkward as your muse the s them to be. That's life, I mean I can't tell you how many cheesy corny conversations I have been with my wife in the course of helping her get over a difficult moment or her doing the same for me. Courtly love and the perfect conversation between lovers after a scary moment are fine for Shakespeare but this is Star Wars. Make it just as romance trashy as you can and I think every thing will buff out.

 

Love that show. Now there is a plot bunny Jeff in the star wars universe lol

 

Ooh, I am glad some bits worked re the dread elimination technique ... onwards to the question "How did you finally get it written?"

Make up your mind in advance what kind of mush and angst will happen. Don't over plan, but it helps to know if your goal is, say, a single tear coursing down a cheek versus wild sobbing. It tells you where everyone will end up and help you get them there. Spend some time considering this in the context of your story. What's plausible for two people in seclusion might be less plausible for two people plus onlookers who may:

a/ be embarrassed
b/ be unable to go into another room or escape overhearing intimate conversations
c/ join in rudely with unasked for suggestions and/or critiques
d/ be in a life or death predicament and need everyone on the team (I'm guessing action is happening at some point, maybe important plot movement) to focus on survival or success of the mission

Pick what your short list of options are, at least if you don't want to decide in advance. Then set that knowledge aside until you actually start writing.

 

Sobbing, Mara looked past Ezra's embrace at Luke. "And...and you Luke, were...were so desperate for affection, that you kept flirting despite all my attempts to k-kill you."

 

This Mara never wanted to kill Luke. I guess it's so specific that it only makes sense to us who read the original story. :/

 

@Raissa Baiard I say, embrace the cheese. I've only skimmed the first few posts of this particular fic of yours but I think cheesy melodrama fits very well with the whole teenage thing.

You could also embrace the cheese at first, then kill it. This is a multiple narrator thing, right? So why not have the beginning of the scene from one POV, then switch to another halfway through, or even narrate the whole thing three times from three different perspectives.

 

Yes. This exactly. Teenagers are full of cheesy melodrama. I should know. It hasn't been that many years since I actually was a cheesily melodramatic teenager. Come to think of it, I still indulge in cheesy melodrama sometimes.