Resource Fanfic Writer's Desk: Your Place for Writing Discussion, Questions, and Advice

That's an interesting point I'll have to keep in mind. I don't often seen people using slang abbreviations for Star Wars terms in their writing. It could certainly add a lot of flavor to a story if used properly.

That said, I'm looking to use it in narration, so I need a formal term.

 

I've used "conservator" and shortened it to "serv" at times. "I'll put this in the 'serv." "I'm hungry. Time to raid the 'serv!"

 

OK, then. I think I will go ahead and use "conservator". Thanks for the input.

 

Alright, I guess this could go either in the DDC thread or here. But in my diary for the DDC, I want to cover about 16ish years in my remaining planned 17 entries. I don't want my character to be like "oh my, I have completely forgotten about this diary for like 4 years," every few entries. That would get really repetitive. But I do want to acknowledge the fact that there will be a significant time jump every few entries. Any suggestions on how I can do this?

 

I don't know if this would work within your story, but how about adding something like "Note from the publisher: From this point forward, many pages have been lost and/or damaged. We have recovered what we can to present here, but large swaths of information are missing. We hope that the remaining entries provide enough information to fill in the gaps."?

 

I like that idea. Also, a basic summation of the gaps could work prior to each entry.

 

Hmmm. It's a great idea, but I'm not sure if it will work with my idea for the final entry (plus I've made it clear that the diary is on a data-pad).

 

If it's on a datapad, then use data corruption instead of damaged pages.

 

jcgoble3 I've been using "refrigeration unit" but it refers specifically to chilled booze

 

It's a way to go, I think, with the 'corrupted data'? There could be reasons, such as a/Rebels (or Empire, depending on the protagonist) got ahold of my diary and messed with it *even for helpful reasons* therefore it doesn't work right now or b/went near a pulsar so it's wonky now or c/I backed it up someplace and the cloud lost it, or parts of it.

 

There is also the good old water damage for paper diaries

 

Lets try this again: I am right now working on designing/redesigning the Blazing chain and want to hear what people think of some points before I continue. First of I should probably mention that I am only focusing on movies-era to YJK-time.

* Blazing chain space is not near Chiss space, Ssi-ruuvi space or the Firefiest galaxy.

* Their spaceship and blaster technology is interferiur to the Republic's/Empire's.

* They are made up by duros, humans, lindorms (four-armed naganoids), elderfing (barrel-shaped beings with starfish-like head, five symmetrical placed tentacles and starfish-like "legs"), [name pending] (large flying starfishes), [name pending] (four-armed, telepathic reptilians) and some other non-decided/stolen species.
- beside duros and humans so do I also want to use one more non-unknown region species. I was thinking of using one of the species introduced in TotJ but can not decide which. Any suggestions?

* I was thinking of using 19th century Apaches and the French foreign legion's Africa uniforms from the inter war era as main inspiration for the Blazing chain look, the reason for this is that I want something different from what we have seen in other parts of the SW galaxy and I don't think any of those groups have been used as an visual inspiration.


So any thoughts or suggestions ?

 

For the other species from known space, perhaps you could use Twi'leks? Other possibilities could be Rodians or even perhaps Ryn; all three species are known to be scattered all over the galaxy.

I like the idea of differently-inspired uniforms, but crossing Apache design elements with the FFL seems a bit odd, unless you mean for the regulars to have the rougher look while the classier uniform would be reserved for officers and/or the Force-adepts among them. Or probably vice-versa, since the Force-users would likely be the more eccentric lot among the organization and would want to have more individuality in their appearance.

 

I am not using Twi'leks, they are over represented but I am think of adding Ryns. What I want to ad is one of the species introduced in TotJ but I don't know which.

No, a fusion between them both for all members of the crew, they are pirates after all and have united look but not true uniforms.

 

Can someone tell me how holocrons work--not in terms of how information is recorded onto one, but how much can a Jedi interact with the gatekeeper? For example, in my story, Doran receives a holocron from Jedi master Paolo L'szelo. If Doran activates the holocron, would gatekeeper Paolo:
--only give him information in response to a direct query?
-- engage in some level of conversation with Doran, and relate his experiences in context?
-- talk to Doran in the same way a living being would?
-- Somewhere in between?

How sentient, for lack of a better word, is a holocron's gatekeeper? Can it give advice or just relay information? I thought they were capable of some sort of interaction and conversation, but it's been a long time since I've read any of the novels that feature holocrons, so any information you can offer that will keep me from being waaaay off base would be appreciated!

 

Given what I've seen of various depictions of holocrons, gatekeepers are basically imprints of the personality of the holocron's creator. If the creator is the kind to give advice, then the gatekeeper's interactions with a Jedi will reflect that. It's not unheard of for gatekeepers to be able to get a sense of the temperament of the being accessing the holocron it lives in, and withholding information that it deems too advanced.

I would tend to treat holocrons as mobile libraries of the Force, with the gatekeeper(s) as spectral librarian and impromptu schoolmaster.

 

I'm probably as out-of-date on that as anyone, since the last place I remember the gatekeeper being significant was in the Academy trilogy ages ago. But I'd think a bit of all three, since the character is knowledgeable enough to make a holocron but still has an average-for-a-Jedi-Master degree of experience from what I gathered (though that's just my impression from the story.) The gatekeeper probably becomes more "realistic" personality and intuition-wise depending on how much the template was able to put into them. (Total fanon there as far as I know.) As you already mentioned, they tend to keep information back until students are deemed ready -- and this particular Jedi strikes me as the super-conscientious type who would student-proof his holocrons thoroughly to prevent mishaps.

 

And it would probably depend on the maker of the holocron and how much time/effort/Force-use they decided to put into the holocron in the first place. I don't think there's a strict canon answer, so whatever you decide to do won't be too off-base, as long as it's within reason.

 

I always thought of a Holocryon gatekeeper as akin to Jor-El in the Fortress of Solitude

According to The Jedi Path, some layers of information in the holocron can only be accessed by someone with Force sensitivity, and it's implied that beyond that they can withhold information depending on the user - so I think there would be some level of interaction to test the "worthiness" of the user.

 

I am of the belief that if a jedi master don't put full effort into the creation of a holocron they are doing it wrong.

If I remember right so did the Emperor say or imply in DE that only a Force sensitive can activate a holocron.

 

I think Gamiel is correct, and I've said as much in a story of mine, that holocrons can only be accessed by Force-sensitives. To me that's the whole point; holocrons are meant to enable one to actually learn how to access and manipulate the Force, in addition to gaining access to more mundane knowledge of past events and the personalities of those who crafted them. Indeed, some holocrons are meant to allow those into whose possession they pass to impart their own knowledge, experiences, and lessons; the Great Holocron is one, and unless I'm much mistaken, so is the holocron that is seen in the Jedi Academy trilogy (as well as I, Jedi).

Sith holocrons are just as similar, though they may have less scruples about who should be able to access the nastier dark side powers. Of course, it may also be entirely possible that a particularly powerful Sith holocron might be able to actually kill (or at least incapacitate) someone whom its gatekeeper(s) deem to be "unworthy." As capricious as the dark side itself, they can be...

 

I think it was one of the Clone Wars novel (Wild Space, maybe?) where Obi-Wan and Bail Organa are looking for a Sith holocron. Once they get to the big skymall of such things, Obi-Wan tells Bail to not touch anything because the holocrons could kill him, just for fun.

 

How much detail should be put into a scene describing the setting?
For example if characters are in a hangar bay talking, how much detail should I give?
Or if a character is walking down a hall, should I describe the hall as they walk?

I have a hard time painting pictures with words, but I can imagine the scene and I want to put into words.

Are these okay samples? What detail should be added? What doesn't need to be in there?

Examples: Obi-wan walked into the vast dimly lit hangar and passed rows of multiple ships aligned on each side.
He continued walking till he came to a person working on a starfighter.

Luke walked down the dimly lit metallic halls of the base. The halls were devoid of decoration and there were no windows.He continued on to the elevator at the end.

Moff Tarkin sat at the round conference table with all his generals taking up all the seats. The table had a black metallic shiny surface and the walls were metallic gray.

And also how much detail should be put into an action? How can I mprove?
samples

Admiral Ozzel rushed to the bridge as the alarms went off. They were under attack by rebel forces. he straighten his uniform before walking up to his captain, "status report", he barked. "We've entered an ambush". Everyone one on the bridge was working hard frantically.

Obi-wan moved his lightsaber down to deflect a blaster shot, deflecting it toward the droid. He was shot again and again, each time moving his lightsaber to block. He continued the training exercise till Yoda put up a hand, "Stop".

 

"Working hard frantically" is...an interesting thing to say.

 

My general rule is to describe what the POV character would reasonably notice and pay attention to, and no more. A character on a leisurely stroll will notice a lot of stuff around him/her, so describe it. Conversely, a character who is focused on a specific purpose or task probably isn't paying much attention to their surroundings, unless said surroundings are directly relevant to their task. The latter is especially true for a character engaged in combat.

With regard to your examples:

I'd say this is reasonable. He may be focused on finding the person working on the fighter, but while en route to that person he has time to take notice of what's around him.

Here, the middle sentence seems unnecessary. There's rarely a need to describe the lack of anything interesting, unless it plays a role in the story or the POV character has the time to contemplate it (e.g. sitting in a prison cell). The descriptor "dimly lit, metallic halls" is a good touch though, as it subtly sets the mood.

Again, the last sentence is unnecessary, because Tarkin is almost certainly focused on the meeting and its subject, and probably doesn't care about the colors of the table and walls at the moment (unless that is the subject of the meeting, of course).

For detailed action, I try to use a level of detail that allows the scene to play out in more or less real time when the scene is read at a normal reading pace, which helps it feel like a movie and makes it easier to visualize. This doesn't have to, and in many cases shouldn't, be perfect; sometimes to convey the necessary information you have to use more detail, so you have to use your own judgment as to what's appropriate. The major exception to this "real time" rule is when the prose makes it clear that there is a time jump, such as "a couple minutes later" or "this lasted for a while until"; this is useful if the scene would otherwise get repetitive, like in your second example with Obi-Wan and Yoda (where your "continued [...] until" is sufficient). I'd say that both of your examples here have a good level of detail.

Too little detail is almost always bad because the scene moves too fast when read. Conversely, too much detail causes the scene to feel like it's playing in slow motion, which is often bad, but with good judgment, it can used for dramatic effect (often with an accompanying snap back to "real time" at a critical point).