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Saga Fasten Twice, Live Once – (Military Fan Fiction Challenge #1 Response)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Bale, Mar 7, 2013.

  1. Bale

    Bale Jedi Master star 4

    May 9, 2005
    Fasten Twice, Live Once

    Some said that any landing you could walk away from was a good landing. It hadn’t been a good landing for CT-417, not when one leg was bent at an unnatural angle and the other ended in a bloody stump, severed below the knee. Clone Trooper armor could endure a lot, but it wasn’t designed to withstand the impact of a thousand-meter freefall.

    His dropship had come under heavy ground-based artillery fire as soon as it had entered Geonosis’ atmosphere. The pilot had done well to evade the first few volleys, but it was like trying to run through a rainstorm without getting wet. 417 had gone EV after the first hit.

    He tried to sit up, but could only get so far. All he could hear through his helmet’s optical sensors was static and he couldn’t see anything through his visor, which had spider-webbed on impact. With a painful grunt he managed to unpin his arms and removed his helmet. In frustration he chucked it as far as he could. He realized, too late, it had been a mistake.

    War was loud, much louder than he imagined. The simulators had taught him tactics, but had not prepared him for reality. War was loud, a symphony of death. The bass of the artillery rumbled through the canyon and brought fresh waves of pain to 417 each time they vibrated through his chest plate. Overtop the artillery he could hear the staccato of blaster rifles. He could tell that the battle was getting farther away; increasingly he could hear the moans of the dying. He tried to turn his head to locate their source, but couldn’t see anything past the outcrops of sharp stone he was tangled in.

    A searing pain stabbed him. Suddenly he was sweating and felt very cold; he realized he was shaking. What remained of his leg was covered in blood and clay and was still wedged in stone. He was finding it harder to breathe; dark circles formed at the edge of his vision.

    Closing his eyes he thought back. He was sure he’d secured his restraints hadn’t he? Maybe they’d snapped due to shoddy craftsmanship or been cut by shrapnel. What was it the instructor on Kamino had said?

    Fasten twice, live once.
  2. Jedi_Lover

    Jedi_Lover Force Ghost star 5

    Nov 1, 2004
    Ouch. That visualization made me cringe. Legs bent at the wrong angle always creep me out. Well done!
  3. mavjade

    mavjade It's so FLUFFY! Fanfic Manager star 6 Staff Member Manager

    Sep 10, 2005
    No, I would say that was a pretty bad landing! Poor guy!

    I've seen some traumatic leg amputations in my work so I can visualize this pretty well... ouch! (To put it mildly)

    Good story!
  4. Thumper09

    Thumper09 Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Dec 9, 2001
    Aw, I feel bad for 417.

    I really like your description of the sounds, particularly how it was so powerful that 417 could feel it in his armor.

    It was a depressing but interesting detail that he could tell the distance from the battle based on how well he could hear the moaning around him.

    Great work!
  5. Something_Exile

    Something_Exile Jedi Knight

    Nov 23, 2012
    Great response. Very brutal and unrelenting depiction of a wartime casualty, really makes you feel for the guy as you realize he's a goner.
  6. Luna_Nightshade

    Luna_Nightshade Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Jan 25, 2006
    Brutal description of a war casualty. Makes you really feel bad for him and what happened to him. Strong viggie. Welcome back!