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Saga Fateful Overtures- one-post Ani-Obi pol. intrigue before ep. II (Far From Home, very reworked)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by ShrunkenJedi, Jun 20, 2003.

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  1. ShrunkenJedi

    ShrunkenJedi Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 26, 2003
    EDIT: Please go to where it says FATEFUL OVERTURES. That should be after my fifth draft where it says FAR FROM HOME. *Whew* Thanks.

    I'm a newbie to fanfic (Though I love Star Wars), but I've been writing various short stories for a while. As the title says, this is an Anakin piece between eps. 1 and 2. It's pretty much first draft ready-to-be-read, and I would really apreciate any comments at all. Thanks, and enjoy!

    Far From Home

    ?The last time you were in this situation, you were nearly gassed, burned and incinerated within an hour of arrival, and he hardly knew you then. He has even less reason to like me. Remind me again, Master, why are we doing this??
    ?Because Chancellor Palpatine personally asked us, Anakin, and the Council agreed to it.?
    ?Of course.?
    ?Calm your mind. Meditate if you think it would do you some good. We still have several hours until we dock. We will not be taken unaware this time.
    ?I?m not afraid of that. I?m quite confident of my lightsaber skills. What worries me more is how we?re supposed to negotiate. I think I do understand some of the Chancellor?s motives. We do know more about the Trade Federation than other Jedi, and by having them tolerate us as negotiators he forces them to tacitly acknowledge the power of the Republic. Still, how we are supposed to get them to budge an inch on their demands??
    ?Lightsaber skills are not everything, my young padawan.?, Obi Wan interjected. His clear grey eyes shuttered closed. I just slumped back against my seat, greeted by the now-familiar sight of all-pervasive black and bright but insignificant specks of white light. Light that was clear and constant, shining over uncountable worlds. I could fly from one end of it to the other, and it would always look like this, or nearly. It was, in a certain way, comforting. Inviting. Cold. Even after so many years, I had never quite got used to the chill of interstellar vacuum. Coruscant was never as warm as Tatooine, where I had grown up and where my mother still was. But space was colder still. The first time I had piloted in open space, I had delivered the death blow to a droid control ship owned by the same Trade Federation Obi Wan and I were supposed to be negotiating with in a few hours. Which was more chance than any design I had had, trying to keep alive. Try telling that to the senator for the Trade Federation, though.
    Even Obi-Wan looked preoccupied, and I wasn?t particularly surprised at it. He was hard to read, but he always clammed up the same way when he was displeased; he had that same droll tone in his voice and set of the mouth. He had looked the same way right after we had been given this assignment. Too much the perfect Jedi Knight to ever dispute it, or even discuss it?s downsides with me. So it had been up to me to bring it up.
    He turned back to me. ?Either they will acknowledge that the Republic includes them as well, or we will not be able to keep them from joining the separatists. Worrying at this point will do us no good.?
    ?Who?s worrying, Master??

    A few hours later, we had gotten landing clearance without any trouble at all. We stepped out on the deck, as busy and bright as any other. Stark white stainless steel. And the representatives of the trade federation, swathed in black, marched toward us presently. We were escorted down busy corridors full of storage compartments, then all manner of shops and offices. The crowds were an eclectic mix of humans and Nemoidians in business suits and flight suits?young females in low-cut brights, older males in rich tailoreds, and anything in between. Finally we reached and area of small residential apartments, one of which was to be relegated to us for the duration of our stay. It was noticeably smaller than those we had wandered past earlier. I had no illusions about the possibilities of our room being bugged. Surprisingly, however, I detected none of the disturbances such a device would create, only the intricate electronic signatures of normal functioning room furnishings.

    When we got into our room and hung up our r
     
  2. Sara_Kenobi

    Sara_Kenobi Jedi Grand Master star 7

    Registered:
    Sep 21, 2000
    A very lovely story. I like it very much. :)
     
  3. diamond_pony2002

    diamond_pony2002 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 6, 2002
    YAY! ANOTHER ANI AND OBI STORY!!!!!!!! MY FAVORITE! Is there any Ani H/C in this? I love that!
     
  4. ShrunkenJedi

    ShrunkenJedi Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 26, 2003
    It's me, the author, again. I just wanted to say I am so glad you enjoyed it and I really apreciate your comments. THANKS!
     
  5. ShrunkenJedi

    ShrunkenJedi Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 26, 2003
    My second draft:

    Far From Home

    ?The last time you were in this situation, you were nearly gassed, sliced and incinerated within an hour of arrival, and he hardly knew you then. He has even less reason to like me. I?m having trouble remembering why we?re doing this, Master.?
    ?We?re doing it because Chancellor Palpatine personally asked us, Anakin, and the Council agreed to it.?
    ?Of course.?
    ?Calm your mind. Meditate if you think it would do you some good. We still have several hours until we dock. We will not be taken unaware this time.
    ?I?m not afraid of that. I?m quite confident of my lightsaber skills. What worries me more is how we?re supposed to negotiate when they don?t want to talk to us. I think I do understand some of the Chancellor?s motives. We do know more about the Trade Federation than other Jedi, and by having them tolerate us as negotiators he forces them to acknowledge the Republic. Still, how we are supposed to get them to budge an inch on their demands??
    ?Lightsaber skills are not everything, my young padawan. Neither are political maneuverings.?, Obi Wan interjected. His clear grey eyes shuttered closed. I just slumped back against my seat, greeted by the now-familiar sight of all-pervasive black and bright insignificant specks of mesmerizing white light. It was light that was clear and constant, shining over uncountable worlds. I could fly from one end of it to the other, and it would always look like this, or nearly. It was, in a certain way, comforting, and inviting, and cold. Even after so many years, I had never quite got used to the chill of interstellar vacuum. Coruscant was temperate, which was chilly enough for me. But space was colder still. The first time I had piloted in open space, I had delivered the death blow to a droid control ship owned by the same Trade Federation Obi-Wan and I were supposed to be negotiating with in a few hours. Which was more chance than any design I had had, trying to keep alive. Try telling that to Nute Gunray, viceroy of the Trade Federation, though. Something occurred to me that made me appreciate Palpatine as a politician even more: given our track record against the Federation, the Federation might well be afraid of us. Fear was a strong motivator, as I had good reason to know growing up as property on Tatooine. Still, it could easily backfire.
    Even Obi-Wan looked preoccupied. He was hard to read, but he always clammed up the same way when he was displeased; he had that same droll tone in his voice and set of the mouth. He had looked the same way right after we had been given this assignment. Too much the perfect Jedi Knight to ever dispute it, or even discuss it?s downsides with me. So it had been up to me to bring it up.
    He turned back to me. ?Either they will acknowledge that the Republic includes them as well, or we will not be able to keep them from joining the separatists. Worrying at this point will do us no good.?
    ?Who?s worrying, Master??

    A few hours later, we had gotten landing clearance without any trouble at all. We stepped out on the deck, as busy and bright as any other. Stark white stainless steel. And the representatives of the trade federation, swathed in black, marched toward us presently. We were escorted down busy corridors full of storage compartments, then all manner of shops and offices. The crowds were an eclectic mix of humans and Nemoidians in business suits and flight suits?young females in low-cut brights, older males in rich tailoreds, and anything in between. Finally we reached and area of small residential apartments, one of which was to be relegated to us for the duration of our stay. It was noticeably smaller than those we had wandered past earlier. I had no illusions about the possibilities of our room being bugged. Surprisingly, however, I detected none of the disturbances such a device would create, only the faint and intricate electronic signatures of normal, functioning room furnishings.

    When we got into our room and hung up our robes, Obi-Wan started meditating. At least, that was what I thou
     
  6. Padawan_Jess_Kenobi

    Padawan_Jess_Kenobi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 20, 2002
    Wow, that was great! An awesome story! The part I like most (obviously) was when Obi-Wan was talking to Qui-Gon. :( And the end was very chilling. [face_shocked] So again I say, wonderful story, and great job. :D
     
  7. ShrunkenJedi

    ShrunkenJedi Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 26, 2003
    Third Draft

    Far From Home
    ?The last time you were in this situation, you were nearly gassed, sliced and incinerated within an hour of arrival, and he hardly knew you then. He has even less reason to like me. I?m having trouble remembering why we?re doing this, Master.? I leaned out over the dashboard of our small starship, digging in my elbow uncomfortably and pressing my fist into my jaw. It was about as relaxed as I was going to get unless I pressed against the button to disengage the autopilot.
    ?We?re doing it because Chancellor Palpatine personally asked us, Anakin, and the Council agreed to it.?
    ?Of course.?
    ?Calm your mind. Meditate if you think it would do you some good. We still have several hours until we dock. We will not be taken unaware this time.
    ?I?m not afraid of that. I?m quite confident of my lightsaber skills. What worries me more is how we?re supposed to negotiate when they don?t want to talk to us. I think I do understand some of the Chancellor?s motives. We do know more about the Trade Federation than other Jedi, and by having them tolerate us as negotiators he forces them to acknowledge the Republic. Still, how we are supposed to get them to budge an inch on their demands??
    ?Lightsaber skills are not everything, my young padawan. Neither are political maneuverings.?, Obi Wan interjected. His clear grey eyes shuttered closed, but his eyelids still reflected the cockpit lights. I just slumped back against my seat, greeted by the familiar sight of all-pervasive black and bright insignificant specks of mesmerizing white light. It was light that was clear and constant, shining over uncountable worlds: it was the entire Universe. I could fly from one end of it to the other, and it would always look like this, or nearly. It was, in a certain way, comforting, and inviting, and cold. Even after so many years, I had never quite got used to the chill of interstellar vacuum. Coruscant was temperate, which was chilly enough for me. But space was colder still. The first time I had piloted in open space, I had delivered the death blow to a droid control ship owned by the same Trade Federation Obi-Wan and I were supposed to be negotiating with in a few hours. Which was more chance than any design I had had, trying to keep alive. Try telling that to Nute Gunray, viceroy of the Trade Federation, though. Something occurred to me that made me truly appreciate Palpatine as a politician: given our track record against the Federation, the Federation might well be afraid of us. Fear was a strong motivator, as I had good reason to know growing up as property on Tatooine. Still, it could easily backfire.
    Even Obi-Wan looked preoccupied. He was hard to read, but he always clammed up the same way when he was displeased; he had that same droll tone in his voice and set of the mouth, and his hair was a bit more rumpled than usual. He had looked the same way right after we had been given this assignment. Too much the perfect Jedi Knight to ever dispute it, or even discuss it?s downsides with me. So it had been up to me to bring it up.
    He turned back to me. ?Either they will acknowledge that the Republic includes them as well, or we will not be able to keep them from joining the separatists. Worrying at this point will do us no good.?
    ?Who?s worrying, Master??

    A few hours later, we got landing clearance without any of the possible troubles we could have had. For some reason, I kept imagining a tractor beam pulling us in and being sent to some secure detention area. We stepped out on the deck, as busy and bright as any other in stark white stainless steel. The representatives of the trade federation, swathed in black, marched toward us presently. We were escorted down busy, brightly lit corridors full of storage compartments, then all manner of shops and offices. The entire station appeared to be constructed of the same utilitarian stainless steel used in the dock area. The crowds were an eclectic mix of humans and Nemoidians in business suits and flight suits?young females in low-cut brights, older males in ri
     
  8. ShrunkenJedi

    ShrunkenJedi Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 26, 2003
    Okay guys, here is what I really, really think is going to be my last draft-- or at least, except for a sentence or a word here or there. I want to turn this in on Monday to the Fanfic Archive to be judged, so it better be! (Thanks to Ambyr_Rose for betaing my last draft for me!) In that same vein, if you see anything I should know about before I send it in, please do that. Otherwise, enjoy, and plese do tell me you enjoyed. This is...

    FATEFUL OVERTURES

    ?The last time you were in this situation, you were nearly gassed, sliced and incinerated within an hour of arrival, and they hardly knew you then. They have even less reason to like me. I?m having trouble remembering why we?re doing this, Master.? I leaned out over the dashboard of our small starship, digging in my elbow uncomfortably and pressing my fist into my jaw. It was about as relaxed as I was going to get unless I did the flying and not the autopilot.

    ?We?re doing it because Chancellor Palpatine personally asked us, Anakin, and the Council agreed to it.?

    ?Of course.?

    Within a half second after hearing my masters? tone of voice, I knew what a stupid thing it had been to voice my nervousness over the mission. Of course Obi-Wan knew better than I did what had happened last time a mission of his involved negotiations with the Trade Federation. From the fact that he did not immediately remind me that being a Jedi sometimes involves risking life and limb for others (which he knows I understand) I guessed that he was very nervous himself, more nervous than I was. I wondered why.

    ?Calm your mind. Meditate if you think it would do you some good. We still have several hours until we dock. We will not be taken unaware this time.?

    ?I?m not afraid of that. I?m quite confident of my lightsaber skills. What worries me is how we?re supposed to negotiate when they don?t want to talk to us. I think I do understand some of the Chancellor?s motives. We know more about the Trade Federation than other Jedi, and by having them tolerate us as negotiators he forces them to acknowledge the Republic. Still, how we are supposed to get them to budge an inch on their demands and get them to not join the Separatists??

    ?Lightsaber skills are not everything, my young padawan. Neither are political maneuverings.?, Obi Wan interjected. His perceptive gray eyes shuttered closed, but his eyelids still reflected the cockpit lights. I refrained from guessing his dream from the Force disturbances around him. Instead, I slumped back against my seat, greeted by the familiar sight of black with bright insignificant specks of mesmerizing white light.

    It was light that was clear and constant, shining over uncountable worlds: it was the entire Universe. I could fly from one end of it to the other, and it would always look like this, or nearly. It was comforting to me, and inviting, and cold. Even after so many years, I had never quite got used to the chill of interstellar vacuum. On Coruscant, I wore Jedi uniforms designed for winter. Space was even colder. The first time I had piloted in open space, I had delivered the death blow to a droid control ship owned by the same Trade Federation Obi-Wan and I were supposed to be negotiating with in a few hours. Which was more chance than any design I had had, trying to keep alive. Try telling that to Nute Gunray, viceroy of the Trade Federation, though. Thinking about that, tracing patterns against the foggy glass of the cockpit, something occurred to me that made me appreciate Palpatine?s skill as a politician: given our track record against the Federation, the Federation might well be afraid of us. Fear was a strong motivator, as I had good reason to know growing up as property on Tatooine. It was also a method that could easily backfire.
    I wondered again why Obi-Wan looked preoccupied. He was hard to read, but he always clammed up the same way when he was displeased; he had that same droll tone in his voice and set of the mouth, and his hair was a bit more rumpled than usual. He had looked the same way right after we had been
     
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