Favorite Simpsons Quotes

Discussion in 'Milwaukee, WI' started by BYOB_Kenobi, Nov 4, 2002.

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  1. BYOB_Kenobi Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 7, 2000
    star 5
    Go!



    1. "I'm glad we're stranded. It'll be just like Swiss Family Robinson, only with a lot more cursing. We're gonna live like kings... damn hell ass kings!"
  2. Bishop76 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 1, 2002
    star 3
    There are far too many, but I'll start off with these:

    Homer sings to himself (tune of the Flintstones): Simpson! Homer Simpson! He's the greatest guy in history. From the! Town of Springfield! He's about to hit a chestnut tree!

    McBain: My eyes! The goggles do nothing!

    Jeff
  3. ToxicNed Grand Poobah of Madison WI - FF CR

    Chapter Rep
    Member Since:
    May 2, 2002
    star 4
    ...and the doctor said I wouldn't have anymore nose bleeds, if I just kept my finger out of there.
  4. ToxicNed Grand Poobah of Madison WI - FF CR

    Chapter Rep
    Member Since:
    May 2, 2002
    star 4
    "If the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, its that girls should stick to girl's sports, such as hot oil wrestling foxy boxy and such and such... "

    Another classic! :D
  5. SySnootles Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 13, 2002
    star 3
    Reverend Lovejoy: Marge, get a divorce.

    Marge Simpson: Bur Reverend, isn't divorce a sin?

    Reverend Lovejoy: (Holding up a Bible) Have you ever read this thing? Everything's a sin. Technically we're not allowed to go to the bathroom.
  6. SySnootles Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 13, 2002
    star 3
    Wayland Smithers: It's been my experience that women and seamen don't mix, sir.
  7. SySnootles Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 13, 2002
    star 3
    Priam, King of Troy (Ned Flanders): Now anytime someone gets wood, they'll think of Trojans!
  8. TheWampas1138 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 2, 2002
    star 4
    Principal Skinner: You saved me! Now, chew through my ball sack.

    hamster: Errrr!?!

  9. SySnootles Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 13, 2002
    star 3
    Kodos: Well, if you wanted to make Sarek the Preparer cry, mission accomplished.
  10. SameSithDifferentDay Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    May 4, 2001
    star 3
    Homer: "Me lose brain? Uh-oh. Ha ha ha. Why I laugh?"
  11. TheWampas1138 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 2, 2002
    star 4
    Reverend Lovejoy: Now, as these are childrens' toys, they will burn quickly.

    --------------------

    Bart, as Ned's kids are playing a religious video game: Oh, you winged him, now he's just a Lutheran.


    Dwayne
  12. FennShysha Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 29, 2002
    star 1
    Ralph: I bent my wookie.

    Moe: I'm gonna go back in time and ge me some caveman hookers.

    To Comic Book Guy: Oh, a fat sarcastic Star Trek fan. You must be a real devil with the ladies.
  13. Auraveda Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 5, 2001
    star 4
    Here's 2:
    ******************************

    Apu: I have come to make amends, sir. At first, I blamed you for squealing, but then I realized, it was I who wronged you. So I have come to work off my debt. I am at your service.
    Homer: You're...selling what, now?
    Apu: I am selling only the concept of karmic realignment.
    Homer: You can't sell that! Karma can only be portioned out by the cosmos. (slams the door)
    Apu: He's got me there.

    ************************************

    Marge: Homer, it's very easy to criticize...
    Homer: and fun, too!
  14. TheWampas1138 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 2, 2002
    star 4
    Moe: I wasn't gonna kill ya, just cut ya a little...

    ****************************

    Moe: I'm gonna cut off your tongue and use it to paint my boat.

    ************************

    Moe: I'm gonna stuff you with sausages and shove wild dogs up your butt.

    Dwayne
  15. Bishop76 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 1, 2002
    star 3
    Milhouse, on falling in love: "It was just like Romeo and Juliet, only it ended in tragedy."

    Lisa: Mom, romance is dead. It was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized, then sold off piece by piece.

    Maude Flanders: "I've been going to Bible classes. They're teaching me to be more judgmental."

    Grandpa: "I'm an old man, no one listens to me."
    Lisa: "I'm a young girl, no one listens to me."
    Homer: "I'm a white male aged 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me, no matter how dumb my suggestions are."
    He then goes to the cabinet and takes out a can of food titled, "Nuts and Gum: Together At Last"

    Jeff
  16. CheddarJedi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 17, 2002
    star 1
    Homer's toast: "To alcohol, the cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems."
  17. DarthMak Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 4, 2001
    star 5
    Homer: Women will like what I tell them to like.
  18. JediMasterLambda Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 1, 2002
    star 1
    Homer: I've always been an obese man trapped inside a fat man's body.

    Homer: DOH!

  19. JediMasterLambda Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 1, 2002
    star 1
  20. SameSithDifferentDay Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    May 4, 2001
    star 3
  21. JodoKast74 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 10, 2001
    star 4
    "Elmo knows where you live."
  22. solo414 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 28, 2002
    star 4
    Anything out of Raplh's mouth

    "Good job, Nibbles! Now chew through my ball sack." Principle Skinner

    "Shut up, Becky!" Marge

    And there are really too many to count after those...TOO MANY. :D

  23. Bishop76 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 1, 2002
    star 3
    This was just on, and it made me laugh aloud:

    Homer: Look, the thing about my family is there's five of us. Marge, Bart, Girl Bart, the one who doesn't talk, and the fat guy. How I loathe him!

    Jeff
  24. Bishop76 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 1, 2002
    star 3
    Another zinger:

    Grampa Simpson (after consumating his marriage): Wanna give Honest Abe another turn in the oval office?

    Heheh

    Jeff
  25. solo414 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 28, 2002
    star 4
    Sea Captain: "Yarg, I'm not attractive."

    Not nearly as funny without the voice, but still a hoot.
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