Favorite Simpsons Quotes

Ralph as Laertes from "Hamlet":

"Daddy's stomach is crying."
(After Polonius, Chief Wiggum, is stabbed by Hamlet, Bart)

This is one of my favorite episodes. Hamlet is one of my favorite plays and watching the Simpsons do it is just fan-frickin-tastic.

That was one of the best from this past season.

Lisa: "No one out-crazies Ophelia!!"
she then runs around babbling, then jumps out the window. From off camera, you hear a splash.

Priceless.

Alright, this is Futurama but that's close enough to the Simpsons:

"Your Nuetralness! It's a beige alert!"


M

Homer: "You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'."

Lenny to Duffman: "I heard you died!"

Duffman: "Duffman cannot die. Only the actors who portray him."

Andy Serkis on last night was HYSTERICAL. (If you missed him, he was the one cleaning up the dishes in a bag and calling them "my precious.") Comedy quality.

Other great part from last night: Maggie doing the Brtney Spears impression. Laughed my head off.

Marge sprays pepper spray into Ralph's eyes: "My boogers are spicy!"

Lisa: That's nothing but a dog in a spacesuit!

Bart: And from the looks of it, it's a male dog.


Rev. Lovejoy: You can save more souls with rollerskates and easybake ovens than you can with this 2000 page sleeping pill.



M

Homer: "Ok Herb, I'll give you the $2000, but you have to forgive me and treat me like your brother."
Herb: "No."
Homer: "Ok, then just give me the drinking bird."

HOMER: "I'm taking the woman that I love to the backseat of my car and I won't be back for ten minutes!"

Bart: "Oh my God! The dead have risen, and they're voting Republican!"

heh heh ... that was on just now.

"I'm a brick!"

This technically isn't a line -- it was a sight gag. But it's verbal. I thought it could count.

Sign on the side of a van:

STERN LECTURE PLUMBING

"I Told You Not To Flush That!"

"doh"!

...

"Hey... I'm Dick Tracey! Take that Prune Face! Now I'm Prune Face! Take that Dick Tracey! Now I'm Prune Tracey! Take that...."

-- 8 year old out of control Ned Flanders

Ralphie -- "Tastes like burning..."

Quoth the Raven, Eat my shorts.

As long as this thread's been resurrected, I'll add two of my own:

-President Clinton: You taught children a valuable lesson. When things don't go your way, just keep complaining until your dreams come true.
-Marge: That's a pretty lousy lesson.
-President Clinton: Hey...I'm a pretty lousy president.

-Class: Lisa likes Nelson, Lisa likes Nelson.
-Milhouse: She does not!
-Class: Milhouse likes Lisa, Milhouse likes Lisa.
-Janie: He does not!
-Class: Janie likes Milhouse, Janie likes Milhouse.
-Music teacher: Quiet! Nobody likes Milhouse!

Ralph: "Hi, Bart. My nose makes it's own bubblegum"

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Bart drilling eye-holes in Homers bucket...

Homer: "A little farther, little farther...*squish*...too far."

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Homer: "To start press any key. Where's the Any key?"

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Homer: "I just want to see Honk If You're Horny in peace."


And of course too many others to list.

Homer: Got any of that beer that has candy floating in it? You know, Skittlebrau?
Apu: Such a beer does not exist, sir. I think you must have dreamed it.
Homer: Oh. Well, then just give me a six-pack and a couple of bags of Skittles.

"What am I thinking! I shouldn't be driving, I'm drunk! (Pause) Wait a second! I shouldn't listen to myself, I'm, drunk!"

-Aviator-

homer: WHY do i have such a weakness for sweets?"

Reverend Lovejoy: Ned, have you thought about one of the other major religions? They're all pretty much the same?