Toronto Favourite Simpsons Quote:

Uh oh... we're getting repeats!

Ok - here's a good one...

Homer: Oooooooh there's script I wrote! It's about a robot driving instructor, that travels back in time for some reason. His sidekick is a talking pie!

Alec Baldwin: homer, most holywood scripts are a 100 pages, this one is 26, and most of them are drwings of the time machine!

 

Bart: So I says to Mable, I says.....
**
Corny British Announcer: I have never seen such a brilliant display of chivalry. These two warriors, locked in battle....
**
Smithers: Mayhem, mayhem, mayhem......do we really need all of those mayhems?......we do.
**
Homer: That dog has a puffy tail! Here puff! Hee hee hee!
**
Homer: Bart, a woman is like a refridgerator. About six feet tall, 300 pounds....
**


More to come later.....

 

Homer: That boy has bosoms! *whaps towell*

Swedish Kid (huter? doh can't spell) : Don't make me run i'm full of chocolate!!!

 

Ok. I'm not picking on Elewyn, as there was someone else who has already made this mistake.

***Comic Guys Voice****
His name is "Uder", and he's german. There is also the uberstahl accent (those two dots) over the 'U' for proper grammar.

 

Ya, sien Ãœder!

Oh to keep the thread proper:

"No children have ever meddled with the Republican Party and lived to tell about it!"

 

HOMER: C'mon, Maude, the human wang is a beautiful thing!

**

MARGE: Homer, I'm really proud you won the Pulitzer, but what about the starving children?
HOMER: They're with God now.


**

MILHOUSE: Will you be my dad?
HOMER: You have a dad. He's just a dud.

 

Homer: "Florida? That's the wang of America!"

 

Why type? When the audio version is of my quote for the day is right here!

 

"Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what seperates us from the animals. Except the weasel." -Homer Simpson

 

I WANT MY ELEPHANT! I WANT MY ELEPHANT!

grandpa simpson: turn it up its the elephant song!

 

"Hahahahah! The boot kicked Bart! It kicked him right in the butt!! Hahahahaha!!"

"Haaahahahahahah, the jerk dropped his cards! What a jerk! Hahahahahah" -Homer

 

Here are my fave quotes from the Quimby's

"Chowdeire? Chowdeeeire? It's chowda, you moron!...Come back here, I'm not through demeaning you!" -Freddy

"May the Force be with you!"
"Do you know who I am?"
"Sure I do, weren't you one of the little rascals?" -Diamond Joe and Leonard Niemoy

And another Homer:

"Hahaha, you got the dud! Hey, he looks like you, pointdexter!...Sure you have friends, you got the dud right here! Stand up for yourself, pointdexter." - Homer

 

Lisa: *snif* it smells like otto's bus

Otto: woah. my shoes are talking to me!

------------------

Go apple!

Go orange!

GO BANANA!!!!!

 

Nelson: How many monkey butlers?

Bart: One at first, but he'll train the others.

 

Homer: Its just a little dirty, its still good! its still good!

Its just a little slimy, its still good! its still good!

Its just a little airborne, its still good! its still good!

Bart: face it dad, its gone

Homer: i know

-------------------------------

ROD, TODD.....this is god

 

Homer: "Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!"

Homer: "I'm in a place where I don't know where I am!"

Nelson: "Ha ha! Look at this country! ? U R Gay!? Ha ha!" (looking at Uruguay on the globe).

Homer: "Good drink... good meat... good God, let's eat!"

Bart: "Dear Lord: The gods have been good to me. For the first time in my life, everything is absolutely perfect just the way it is. So here's the deal: You freeze everything the way it is, and I won't ask for anything more. If that is OK, please give me absolutely no sign. OK, deal. In gratitude, I present you this offering of cookies and milk. If you want me to eat them for you, give me no sign. Thy will be done."

Homer: "Now go on, boy, and pay attention. Because if you do, someday, you may achieve something that we Simpsons have dreamed about for generations: You may outsmart someone!"

 

Homer: "No, no, no, Lisa. If adults don't like their jobs, they don't go on strike. They just go in every day and do it really half-assed."

Homer: "Simpson-Homer Simpson, he's the greatest guy in his-tor-y. From the town of Springfield, he's about to hit a chestnut tree....D'oh!" (sung to the air of Flintstones theme song)

Homer: "Ignore the boy, Lord."

Homer: "You know Moe, my mom once said something that really stuck with me. She said, `Homer, you're a big disappointment', and God bless her soul, she was really onto something."

Homer: "Don't eat me. I have a wife and kids. Eat them." (to aliens who abducted Simpson family)

Homer: "The code of the schoolyard, Marge! The rules that teach a boy to be a man. Let's see. Don't tattle. Always make fun of those different from you. Never say anything, unless you're sure everyone feels exactly the same way you do."

Homer: "I like my beer cold?my TV loud?and my homosexuals flaming."

Homer: "I think the saddest day of my life was when I realised I could beat my Dad at most things, and Bart experienced that at the age of four."

Homer: "And how is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?"

 

Yes I have done my simpson homework, here is more homer lines

"OK, son. Just remember to have fun out there today, and if you lose, I'LL KILL YOU!"

"Me lose brain? Uh, oh! Ha ha ha! Why I laugh?"
"Kids, kids. As far as Daddy's concerned, you're both potential murderers."

"No! No no no no no no! Well, yes."

"Ah, beer, my one weakness. My achilles heel, if you will."

"Well you know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like women. You just have to read the manual and press the right button."

"If something is to hard to do, then it's not worth doing."

"Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You"

"All right, let's not panic. I'll make the money by selling one of my livers. I can get by with one."

"Marge, you being a cop makes you the man! Which makes me the woman - and I have no interest in that, besides occasionally wearing the underwear, which as we discussed, is strictly a comfort thing."

"Operator! Give me the number for 911!"

"Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?"

"Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such."

 

more homer to chew on;....

"Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die."

"I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here."

"Quiet you kids. If I hear one more word, Bart doesn't get to watch cartoons, and Lisa doesn't get to go to college."

"Don't you ever, EVER talk that way about television."

"Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the bible."

"No matter how good you are at something, there's always about a million people better than you."

"Marge, there's an empty spot I've always had inside me. I tried to fill it with family, religion, community service, but those were dead ends! I think this chair is the answer."

"I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?"

"When it comes to compliments, women are ravenous blood-sucking monsters always want'n more... more... MORE! And if you give it to them, you'll get plenty back in return."

"If something goes wrong at the plant, blame the guy who can't speak English."

"Kids, kids. I'm not going to die. That only happens to bad people."

"Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation."

"Ah, TV respects me. It laughs with me, not at me!"

"Marge, I agree with you -- in theory. In theory, communism works. In theory."

"You think I don't want to? It's those TV networks, Marge: they won't let me. One quality show after another, each one fresher and more brilliant than the last. If they only stumbled once, just gave us thirty minutes to ourselves, but they won't! They won't let me live!"

"Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover."

"I want to shake off the dust of this one-horse town. I want to explore the world. I want to watch TV in a different time zone. I want to visit strange, exotic malls...I want to live, Marge! Won't you let me live_?"

and for more homer see www.lifeisajoke.com

 

If somethings hard to do, it's not worth doing

that was directed at you Darth2-D2, that whole three posts smacked of effort

 

HOMER: One day, when Bart and Lisa get married, all of this will be theirs.
MARGE: You mean when they marry other people, right, Homer?
HOMER: Okay, but I'm not paying for two weddings.

 

OMG...okay, I'm one of the biggest Simpsons fans around, but 70 posts of Simpson's Quotes?
(and yes, I realize I will get flamed for this)

ok, fine, here we go:

Marge: Well, Homer, maybe you can get some consolation in the fact that something you created is making so many people happy.

Homer: Oh, look at me! I'm making people happy! I'm the Magical Man from Happy-Land, in a gumdrop house on Lollipop Lane! Oh, by the way, I was being sarcastic.

Marge: Well, duh!

 

Nevermind - double post!

 

Homer: Your Honour, may I suggest a court ordered babysitter or an aupere

Hey - you're lucky I didn't start a Family Guy thread!

 

' wow mr. mclure, i was a grade A moron to ever question eating meat' (jimmy, the little kid from those movies)

'latex condo, boy i like to live in one of those' (grandpa)

' you thougt i couldnt, but it did, and i could, and did, lets do it again (lisa)

' dad, thats his crotch' (lisa)

' well you know kent, a meltdown is one of those annyoing buzz worlds. we like to call it an unrequested fission surplus" (mr. burns)