Saga Fett's Drabbles ("The Hammer of the Force" added October 30)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Drabbo_Fett, Jun 18, 2003.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
Moderators: Briannakin, mavjade
  1. Drabbo_Fett Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2003
    star 4
    Title: Faith Does Not Compromise
    Timeframe: AotC
    Focus: Jocasta Nu
    Notes: A drabble is a work of exactly 100 words (not counting title).

    * * * *

    Jocasta was amused by the Jedi's doubts. He was young and could be excused for not understanding the infallibility of the system. "If an item does not appear in our records," she assured him, "it does not exist."

    She left him when she saw one of her students standing nearby. "What are you doing out on the floor?" she asked sternly.

    He stared at his feet. "I've messed up, miss."

    "Let's not discuss it here." She led him away from the patrons. "Now what happened?"

    "Miss, I've accidentally deleted a file."

    "Which one?"

    "Yours, miss."

    Jocasta tutted gently, then vanished.
  2. Shaindl Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 18, 2002
    star 4
    Fantastic - that was imaginative and original. Highly amusing in 100 words. Hope to see more!

    Shaindl
  3. Drabbo_Fett Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2003
    star 4
    Bowing to pressure, I'm collecting my drabbles into one thread.



    Title: Jedi at the Gate
    Timeframe: pre-Saga
    Focus: Yoda, crossover
    Date: 11 February, 2003

    * * * * *

    Nobody knew whence he had come, and the swiftness with which he'd conquered Mordrine alarmed many in the Senate. Of course, they'd turned to the Jedi Council.

    * * *

    "Pleased to meet you we are," Yoda said. Despite his pleasant tone, he stared the conqueror straight in the eyes. The other blinked first; he turned away, his cape billowing behind him.

    "This is the vaunted Jedi, the mighty force sent to stop me, put me in my place? You will lose, little alien! You will fall! You and your Jedi cannot face the might, the awesome power of the indomitable Moooooojo Jojo!"


    Title: The Old Man and the Sell
    Timeframe: ANH
    Focus: Obi-Wan, Luke, challenge
    Date: 12 February, 2003

    * * * * *

    Ben led Luke down the steps into the cantina's darkened main room. "Are you sure about this?" the youth asked.

    Ben sniffed the air. "Yes. We shall find what we need here, I am sure." He walked up to the bar and attracted the proprietor's attention. "Mister Paprika," he said, "and one for the boy."

    The bartender set two bright pink cans on the counter. Ben took one, pulled the tab, and drank greedily. "Yes, most refreshing." Then he turned to Luke and held the can up for him to see. "Now that, my young friend, is a Jedi's pop!"


    Title: The Luke Show
    Timeframe: ANH (AU)
    Focus: Luke, Obi-Wan
    Date: 17 February, 2003

    * * * * *

    Luke paused in the dusty street when he saw the tall figure. Amid the brown and white robes of the locals, the man in black metal seemed to inhabit a different reality. And then he removed his mask.

    "Father!" Luke yelled.

    Chaos erupted. People dropped what they were doing and grabbed the man, dragging him away, while others stumbled into Luke's path, preventing him from intervening. Then, without a word, they went back to their routines.

    * * *

    In his control room over the Tatooine Dome on Coruscant, Ben Kenobi was fuming. "How," he asked his crew, "did Skywalker get in there?"


    Title: Master Yoda and the Jedi Academy
    Timeframe: PT
    Focus: Yoda
    Date: 17 February, 2003

    * * * * *

    Leaning on his cane, Yoda paused at the top of the stairs and stared out at plants from thousands of worlds. "Come," he said to the young recruits and their parents, "and in a world of hard work and devotion you will be."

    He started down the steps, whipping his cane up to block the path of one eager child. "Look around and beauty that is truly grand you'll see." He reached the bottom and stood aside, letting the recruits run and explore.

    Joy turned to panic when he saw what they were doing. "Stop! Edible those plants are not!"


    Title: The Mynock's Died
    Timeframe: RotJ (AU)
    Focus: Leia, Han
    Date: 22 March, 2003

    * * * * *

    Leia waited until the queasiness had passed, then returned to where the celebration was continuing.

    "What's wrong?" Han asked.

    Leia desperately wanted to lie, but she couldn't. "Morning sickness," she admitted.

    "But we... It's not... How is this possible?"

    Tears welled in Leia's eyes. "You were in carbonite, and we were alone together."

    "I hope you and Luke will be happy," Han said.

    "Don't be disgusting," Leia chided. "He's my brother."

    "Then who?"

    Leia looked away, and Han followed her gaze. "I should've guessed," Han hissed. "Lando."

    Leia shook her head. "Next to him."

    "Chewie?"

    "It just happened!" Leia cried.


    Title: Kinned Ham
    Timeframe: pre-RotJ
    Focus: Bib Fortuna
    Date: 24 April, 2003

    * * * * *

    Jabba needed another interstellar video line, Bib thought as he finally reached the front of the queue. He entered a number, and an elderly Twi'lek appeared. "Bib, hi!"

    "Hello, Uncle Bob."

    Behind him, Klaatu laughed. "Bob?"

    "What's so funny?"

    "Bob's your uncle!"

    Bib exhaled slowly. "Right. Anyway, how are things on Ryloth?"

    "Couldn't be better," Bob bragged, "bu/>/>/>/>/>
  4. Drabbo_Fett Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2003
    star 4
    I started this a few months back as a response to two challenges, then set it aside and went with separate drabbles (visible above). One was the H/L challenge in which Leia goes out with someone other than Han. The other was to write something inspired by a line from a film. Han's last line comes from one of my favorite films, the original To Be or Not to Be, starring Jack Benny and Carole Lombard. My only change was to make the line less grammatically correct - I may appreciate "with whom," but Han's not the sort.


    Title: Objections from the Gallery
    Timeframe: post-Saga
    Focus: H/L

    * * * * *

    "Believe me, ma'am," Captain Stack said, "if we could have brought in one of our operatives, we would have."

    Leia nodded. "I understand completely."

    They looked up as Han entered. "Why's Internal Security here?"

    "Councilor Mentatha's an Imperial agent," Stack explained. "We can't get near him, but your wife's already scheduled to attend a private reception he's hosting tonight."

    "You expect her to what, capture him by herself?"

    "If at all possible," Stack answered.

    "If not?" No one spoke. "Wait a minute. I'll decide who my wife's gonna have dinner with and who she's gonna kill."

    Leia laughed. "You'll decide?"
    />
  5. J_Girl Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 18, 2001
    star 4
    Each and every one of your drabbles are excellent! I am amazed how much you pack into 100 words. Very skillfully done and very entertaining. :) I like them all so much that I don't think I could really pick out a favorite. The humor is the best part in each one, though - especially when it hits at the end as a surprise. LOL!

    Would you have anymore of these little gems?


    J_Girl
  6. Drabbo_Fett Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2003
    star 4
    Thanks, Shaindl and J_Girl!

    I do have loads more, but they aren't Star Wars.
  7. A-Windsor Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 22, 2003
    star 3
    lmao!!!!!!!!! so funny!!!!! These are so good! keep up the work!
  8. A-Windsor Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 22, 2003
    star 3
  9. Drabbo_Fett Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2003
    star 4
    Thanks. Now, I'm sure this joke has been done before, but recent discussions started it bouncing around in my mind.

    * * * *

    Title: The Color of Leadership
    Timeframe: Post-Saga
    Focus: Wedge Antilles


    Wedge examined his reflection in the mirror, then shook his head. Why had he accepted Corran's recommendation? Granted, the guy was a fantastic pilot, but his color sense was worse than a Talz's. Well, maybe Tycho could use it. He was about to wash up when his comm beeped. The squadron's new recruit had arrived.

    * * *

    The young Gran gasped when Wedge entered the lounge. "Were you in a fight?" she asked. "Your face is all bruised."

    Wedge laughed. "No, I was trying something new, and I don't think it suits me. Anyway, I'm here to welcome you to Rouge Squadron."
  10. Drabbo_Fett Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2003
    star 4
    Here are some more challenge response drabbles I've done.


    Title: Desert Justice
    Timeframe: RotJ
    Focus: Han
    Date: 21 July, 2003

    * * * * *

    As the skiff sped away from the fiery wreck, Han and Leia held each other close.

    Eventually, Han opened his eyes and looked around. "Where are we going?"

    "The ships," Luke explained, "are in the lee of those rocks up ahead."

    Han turned to face the Jedi. "Tell me my Falcon isn't sitting unguarded in the middle of the desert."

    Chewbacca growled.

    "Well, it'd better be."

    * * *

    Soon, they came around the rocks. "See, old buddy?" Lando asked. The Falcon did appear intact; then Han spotted the distinctive yellow shape near its base.

    "I see!" he yelled. "My baby's been clamped!"


    Title: Ex Post Facto
    Timeframe: post-Saga
    Focus: Leia, Han
    Date: 27 August, 2003

    * * * * *

    A quiet day shopping with Leia; Han should've known it wouldn't last.

    "Well, look what the bantha coughed up!" Even across a crowded market, he recognized that gruff voice.

    He turned to Leia. "Dear, is there a woman coming toward us, blonde, about so tall?" She nodded. "Okay, this is important. Is she wearing clothes?"

    "Of course! I'm not as young as I was twenty years ago." She slapped Han's back hard, knocking him over. "Anyway, you didn't mind as I recall. You must be the missus. Alyss Torvaloo, but my friends call me Bonzer."

    "Bonzer?"

    "Don't ask," Han warned.


    Title: The Sands of Time
    Timeframe: pre-ANH
    Focus: Ben
    Date: 28 August, 2003

    * * * * *

    Ben stared at the ground in front of him, then stretched out with the Force. As the sand started to swirl, he thought back.

    * * *

    "Visualize the shape," Qui-Gon instructed, "and allow the Force to guide the individual particles."

    Obi-Wan watched the blue grains flow up from the floor to form a perfect sphere. When he looked over to his mentor, though, it fell apart.

    "Patience, young padawan. Learn that, and you will be able to create far more complex patterns."

    * * *

    "What's that?"

    Ben's concentration faltered, and the Jedi Temple collapsed. "Ah, Luke, does your uncle know you've come out here?"


    Title: Minute of Revelation
    Timeframe: PT (AU crossover)
    Focus: Jar Jar Binks
    Date: 16 November, 2003

    * * * * *

    Faid found his quarry striding along the ninetieth floor's south hallway toward Naboo's assigned office suite, recently upgraded from level sixty. "Junior Senator Binks, they are ready for..."

    "Pleesa, young page, you may call me..."

    "Stop!" he interrupted quickly. "Your first name has been banned in all public discourse by Supreme Chancellor's decree."

    "Why? Someone not like it?"

    "Repeating words during conversation, even ones such as Jar, is no longer allowed on Coruscant."

    "Huh?"

    "Worse yet, hesitation and deviation have also become capital offenses."

    "Palpatine's mad!"

    "Actually, there's a new man running things now."

    "Daresa I ask who?"

    "Nicholas Parsons."
    />/>/>/>
  11. Drabbo_Fett Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2003
    star 4
    Title: Your Holovid Solution
    Timeframe: post-Saga
    Focus: Jacen

    * * * * *

    "Sorry, Billi," Jacen said, "we can't play today. We're going to the Megapark with our uncle."

    The boy on the link groaned. "Oh."

    "Maybe you can come with us."

    "No," Billi said, "I have to be home for 'Mace Windu' tonight."

    Jacen laughed. "You can watch it here when we get back."

    "What?"

    "Mom and Dad have an Ewok who records all our shows for us when we're out."

    "Wow, I've never even seen an Ewok," Billi said.

    "With all the trips they make us take," Jacen told him, "Jaina and I would go nuts if it weren't for Teebo."

  12. Drabbo_Fett Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2003
    star 4
    Title: Combatus Interruptus
    Timeframe: ANH
    Focus: Ben, Vader, crossover

    * * * * *

    "The circle is now complete," Vader said.

    Ben eyed his former apprentice warily and adopted an offensive position. In his heart, he knew only one would survive this battle.

    "When I left you, I was but the learner." Vader ignored the sound of a turbolift opening behind him. "Now I am the master."

    "Actually, I believe I am the Master." A bearded man in a black tunic embroidered in gold stepped from the lift. "Ah, Vader, there you are. When you're done playing, Tarkin wants to see you. Also, do you know where that idiot Motti has hidden my TARDIS?"

  13. GrandAdmiralKyrrona Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 9, 2003
    star 3
  14. Drabbo_Fett Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2003
    star 4
  15. Drabbo_Fett Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2003
    star 4
    Title: Knocked on the Noggin
    Timeframe: RotJ
    Focus: Luke

    * * * * *

    The skull smashed into the control panel, and it exploded in a shower of sparks. Released, the massive gate dropped, pinning the rancor to the ground before it could reach Luke. The creature exhaled once, then was still.

    Luke could hear the screaming above him but, now that the immediate danger had passed, he let his Jedi calming techniques ease the tension from his mind.

    And then the rancor inhaled. "Oh I say," it rasped, "bad sport, old bean, using the door like that. Talking of which, could someone lift the ruddy thing off me? I'm getting a frightful headache."

  16. Laine_Snowtrekker Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 8, 2003
    star 5
    These are hilarious! Funny, the things that can make your day. Please write more! But who is Nicholas Parsons?
  17. Drabbo_Fett Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2003
    star 4
    He's the host of the BBC Radio 4 panel game Just a Minute, in which panelists must speak for up to a minute on a subject without hesitation, repetition, or deviation (hence the joke). There's a series going currently, and you can listen to episodes up to a week after broadcast on the Radio 4 website. [I don't know if I can put the URL here.]
  18. GrandAdmiralKyrrona Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 9, 2003
    star 3
    *gasp* Oh my heck! *dies laughing*
    And then the rancor inhaled. "Oh I say," it rasped, "bad sport, old bean, using the door like that. Talking of which, could someone lift the ruddy thing off me? I'm getting a frightful headache."
    *hyperventilates* That... is... just... *cackles*... too much!!!
  19. Laura_Anu Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 27, 2002
    star 4
    These are so awesome! I love how completely random they are.....My favorite was the Teebo one....and Han's dream about Imperials quizzing him on math...well, maybe I like them all!!!
  20. Drabbo_Fett Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2003
    star 4
    Title: Sith, and Lovin' It
    Timeframe: Clone Wars
    Focus: Anakin, crossover

    * * * * *

    Anakin activated his lightsaber and reached out with his mind. The Force was roiling in the darkness around him; the Sith was close. Then he heard the deep chuckle above him, and he leaped back.

    The Dark Lord stood on a high ledge, his ample silhouette framed by the light from outside. His laugh made his body rumble. "Hello, Jedi."

    He raised his saber, and the red of the blade gave his purple skin a sinister cast. He dropped to the floor, his black cape billowing behind him, and landed with surprising grace. "Hi, I'm Darth Grimace. What's your name?"
  21. Drabbo_Fett Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2003
    star 4
    Thanks, GAK and LA! It's always good to know I've made people laugh, especially new readers.
  22. Drabbo_Fett Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2003
    star 4
    Here are several months' worth of challenge drabbles originally posted to those challenges' threads.


    Title: The Recovery Mission
    Timeframe: PT
    Focus: Obi-Wan
    Date: November 29, 2003

    * * * * *

    The Jedi's cloak, whipped up by the wind, flapped behind him as he crossed the dusty street. Two birds, disturbed by his approach flew up and away.

    Obi-Wan entered the low building, and his cloak fell back down around him. He stood there as all eyes turned toward him. He, in turn, turned toward the counter.

    "Excuse me."

    "Yes, sir?" the waitress asked. "Can I get you something?"

    "Did you find a lightsaber in here yesterday? I'm afraid my padawan has misplaced his."

    "Afraid not, sir."

    "Thank you anyway."

    He left the diner, his cloak again buffeted by the wind.


    Title: A Padawan and a Gentleman
    Timeframe: PT and pre-
    Focus: Obi-Wan
    Date: December 1, 2003

    * * * * *

    "On this planet," Obi-Wan explained, "puddles can be deep. Lay your cloak over them for Senator Megrayn."

    "Why must I use mine?" Anakin asked. "Can't we use yours?"

    "Anakin, I am the master, and..."

    * * *

    "...You are the padawan," Qui-Gon finished.

    Reluctantly, Obi-Wan draped his cloak over the first puddle. As Ambassador Synes stepped on it, he strained to keep it flat.

    "Now the next one."

    This puddle was deep; he had to rely even more on the Force, and he was failing. Desperate, he reached out. The cloak snapped taut, knocking Synes back, right into the first puddle.

    "Sorry, ma'am."


    Title: The Creeping Terror
    Timeframe: pre-ANH (AU?)
    Focus: Ben Kenobi
    Date: December 17, 2003

    * * * * *

    Ben lay back and listened to the night. He was nearly asleep when he first heard the rustling. Something was in the room!

    He reached out with his senses. The nearest lifeforms were outside; he must have been mistaken. Then he heard it again.

    He lay unmoving but fully awake. For almost five minutes, nothing. Then the rustling returned, just for a second, but definitely closer.

    He sat up, looking deep into the shadows. He couldn't see anything, though, except his cloak on the floor. Several feet from where he'd left it. Just as he realized this, the garment leaped.


    Title: The Thin Blue Line
    Timeframe: PT
    Focus: Anakin, Obi-Wan
    Date: January 14, 2004

    * * * * *

    A meter of pure, incandescent green, at least at first glance.

    Obi-Wan's face was close enough to feel the saber's radiant heat. "You're right, Anakin," he said. "Just along the center is a thin blue line. How did you do that?"

    Anakin reached for the weapon, saying, "It's a secret," but Obi-Wan waved him back and leaned even closer.

    "Anakin," he said, ignoring his smoldering eyebrows, "this isn't a line."

    "Master, I..."

    "I'm impressed, apprentice. Your third time, and you've managed to construct a weapon with a tiny scrolling text saying, 'Made by Jedi Jack's Custom Lightsabers' in the blade."


    Title: Time to Reflect
    Timeframe: ANH
    Focus: A Stormtrooper
    Date: March 8, 2004

    * * * * *

    It seemed foolish in retrospect, really. The princess hadn't hit anywhere vital, and his armor had absorbed the blaster bolt well enough, anyway. It was only a momentary loss of balance that resulted in his current predicament.

    He wondered for several meters if he should face forward, watching the Death Star's core grow ever larger, or backward, letting the end be a surprise.

    He chose the latter, so he could concentrate on the next question, which was what would happen next. Would everything just stop, or would he be aware of leaving his body? He was still wondering when he


    Title: Sand Blasted
    Timeframe: RotJ
    Focus: Boba Fett
    Date: April 1, 2004

    * * * * *

    The first clue Fett had that someone had already chosen this spot to wait out the sandstorm was when the gaffi stick smashed into his jetpack, crushing a nozzle. Two Tusken Raiders lunged at him from opposite directions, weapons raised.

    He tossed his worthless jetpack />/>/>/>/>/>
  23. Drabbo_Fett Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2003
    star 4
    [This is for the bacon challenge.]

    Title: Pork Trimmings: Cold Shoulder
    Timeframe: ESB
    Focus: Luke Swinehocker


    Icicles clung to Luke's snout as he stubbornly pulled his frozen body through the snow. As the last of his strength left him, he heard footsteps. "Ham?" he asked, his voice barely audible.

    The spectral form of Oba-Con Kenobi stood over him. "Ah, young Swinehocker thinks I'm an overactor?" Luke tried to protest. "I was making a joke," the spirit said, chuckling. "Humor's one of the few things I have left, being dead and all. Anyway, I need you to go to, well, ah, sorry, I've forgotten it. New plan: First, go to the library and look up swampy worlds...."
  24. amidalachick Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 3, 2003
    star 5
    Cool story! :D I like this line: Anyway, I need you to go to, well, ah, sorry, I've forgotten it. New plan: First, go to the library and look up swampy worlds...." LOL!
  25. Drabbo_Fett Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2003
    star 4
    Thanks. I hadn't originally planned that punchline, but I was having trouble thinking of a name for Yoda's porcine equivalent and decided to find a way to avoid the issue altogether. ;)
Moderators: Briannakin, mavjade
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.