FIC: Guilty Until Proven Innocent?!? (JA)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Jedi Susie, Jun 28, 2001.

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  1. Jedi Susie Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 12, 2000
    star 4
    Hey again!! As you've probably noticed, I've been posting a lot of littler fics lately. The reason is, I had this story about half done for the longest time and realized with college coming up in about two months, I best finish and post them. This one is a bit longer (two total posts) and is finished. I have two more short stories to finish and then my longer one which will hopefully be posted by Aug 26th (before I leave).

    So, here's another story?ENJOY!!!

    Notes: This one is a bit different then my other stories. It's a bit more in character with the JA books, especially with how Qui is portrayed. Not much else to say, but please send FB?I *live* for FB.

    ~

    GUILTY UNTIL PROVEN INNOCENT?!?
    By: Susie (Ari82@aol.com)

    ~

    "Never assume the obvious is true."
    - William Safire

    ~

    Days off were far and few between in the life of a Jedi and when, by chance, a day off did present itself, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Padawan Learner to Master Qui-Gon Jinn, took full advantage of it. Presently, the young Jedi was enjoying the offerings of a small shop just outside the Temple. He had already spent a great deal of time in the small store, but found everything there to be so interesting that he didn't mind.

    He perused the stores' isles simply letting his eyes wander over the various items the shelves held. With a quick glance, he looked at his chrono and realized, if he was to meet with his Master, he needed to head back to the Temple. The boy moved towards the exit of the store and went to open the door right as a warning from the Force hit him full tilt. The Padawan quickly turned around to see what the danger was and found himself face to face with three running boys about his age. The lads, though aware Obi-Wan was in front of them, had no plans of stopping, and the impending collusion happened before the young Jedi could so much as blink an eye.

    In a mess of arms and legs, the four boys crashed through the store door and hit the dirt hard. Tumbling from the momentum, no one was able to find their footing until they came to a halt amid the street. Dazed, Obi-Wan attempted to rise to his feet only to be pushed down by one of the boys as he made a get away. Back on the ground, now on all fours, the Jedi waited a tick before rising, this time he successfully made it to his feet and could barely make out the retreating form of the three boys that he had the run in with---literally.

    The Padawan shook his head at the obvious rudeness of the trio and turned to look at the damage done to the shop. The boy turned and soon found himself face to face with a very angry looking Hutt. Though Hutts were more common on a desert planet, on Coruscant it was not odd to find a few mingled about. Obi-Wan gave the storeowner a nod as he dusted himself off.

    "Sir, did those teenagers harm your store in anyway?"

    The Hutt, who still looked quiet angry, grabbed the young Jedi by the collar of his robe and dragged him in the direction of the store. Obi-Wan, for his part, has the courtesy to look shocked.

    "Excuse me, but, Sir?"

    "Keep quiet you stinking thief until law enforcement get here to handle you."

    ~Law enforcement?~ The young boy inwardly groaned. ~Wonderful. He thinks I'm in with the kids~

    "I had nothing to do with those young men, Sir, and am terribly sorry for any trouble they caused you?"

    Obi-Wan's protest went unheard by the large Hutt as he was shoved into the store he was just thrown out of. The Hutt walked past the boy and grabbed a thin piece of wire which he advanced with towards the Jedi. The large being jerked Obi-Wan's hands behind his back and tied them together, rather harshly, with the wire.

    "There, see if you can escape like your friends."

    The Padawan felt like he was a broken holovid, but tried again to reason with the Hutt. "You must believe that I had nothing to do with what happened in your store. I was shopping and on my way out when those three ran into me and we were pushed out of your store. I have never seen them before and have had nothing to do with
  2. Syntyche Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    May 3, 2001
    Oh - how cruel to make us wait!

    JS ... I've not had much time to read the JA books (to my loss, I understand :) but your QG especially fits in very neatly with what I have seen. it'll be interesting to see what he plans to do with Obi-Wan.

    post soon! like ... now, maybe? ;)

    ~Syn
  3. Erin Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 30, 2000
    star 4
    Great job! I can't wait for tomorrow's post!
  4. Jedi-Faith Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 21, 2000
    star 2
    AHH, don't stop there!!! NOOO!!! :D Great fic so far. Can't wait for the next part!
  5. Jedi Susie Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 12, 2000
    star 4
    Glad you guys liked it. The reason why I have to post the next part tomorrow is becuse I still have to re-read over if and make sure there are a little mistakes as possible.

    Thank for the FB and for the patience. Check back tomorrow for the conclusion.
  6. Jedi_Borme Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 17, 2000
    star 3
    This is good. I wish you would post more today but I understand the need to re-read things.
  7. greencat336 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 27, 2001
    star 5
    Good story, I can't wait for the next post!
  8. Jedi Susie Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 12, 2000
    star 4
    Jedi Borme- I find that if I don't read stories over once when I first finish and then right before I post them, either they make so little sense *I* get lost, or the spelling and grammar is just...awful. Sometimes, I wonder how I can spell Coruscant wrong in so many different ways... Go figure...

    Thank you, greencat, for you enthusiasm...as promised, tomorrow will bring forth a post. :)

  9. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    Grrr. Don't blame Obi-Wan a bit for venting his frustration at no one believing him... especially Qui-Gon.

    Lovely post Susie... but only 1 more??? :( :(
  10. Jane Jinn Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 5
    If you ever need a beta reader to help you find those typos and things that don't make sense, don't forget Betas Anonymous!

    http://groups.yahoo.com/group/betas_anonymous

    Imzadi and I (and a few others) are always happy to help!

  11. Sarah_K Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 10, 2001
    star 4
    Yoohoo! It's 'tomorrow'! :D

    Sarah >^,,^<
  12. Jedi Susie Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 12, 2000
    star 4
    Jane Jinn- Maybe I'll try that sometimes...it sounds very neat.

    Sarah- Yes it is tommorow isn't is? ;)

    So, since it is tomorrow...here's the conclusion!!

    Oh, real fast, though, just want to say THANK YOU to everyone who sent such wonderful FB. I know, sometimes, I don't get back personally to you and I'm sorry. FB means the world to me and each one is special. Thanks again!

    ~

    For over five hours, the Master and apprentice remained in their separate rooms. The Padawan stayed in the same position with his knees to his chest and head on his knees, all the while the words he spewed earlier at his Master playing around in his head. Qui-Gon sat at the small table in the living area contemplating what to do with his Padawan- the boy had crossed many lines today.

    First, their was the stealing which the older Jedi still considered his apprentice a part of- things were just too stacked against him. True, Jedi were supposed to see both sides, but how could he see both when one was so blinding?

    And then there was the outburst the lad had. How was he to handle that obvious disrespect? Padawans certainly weren't supposed to agree with their Masters 24/7, but they were never to be as blatantly rude as Obi-Wan was. The boy was going through tough times- Qui-Gon understood that, but that never reserved him the right to overstep the bounds of the Master/Padawan relationship.

    Qui-Gon breathed a deep, long sigh- what was he going to do?

    ~

    The door sliding opened startled the young boy so much that as he tried to his to his feet he tripped and landed with a thump on his backside. Blushing feverishly, the Padawan jumped back to his feet and bowed his head.

    "Master."

    Qui-Gon took one look at his apprentice and felt almost sorry for the boy. He looked as if he was being sent to the executioner which, in reality, the boy could be viewing his Master as. However, the older Jedi placed on his calm reserve and turned away from Obi-Wan heading out to the living area.

    "Come along, Obi-Wan."

    Not needing to be told twice, the Padawan shuffled (with his head still down) behind his Master as the Jedi came to a halt in front of the couch. "Sit." The boy did so and instantly found his hands *very* interesting.

    Qui-Gon took a deep breath and began the speech he had conceived.

    "To say I'm disappointed in you would be an understatement of great proportion. I am past disappointment, Padawan, so far past, in fact, I cannot think of the words to described it." Obi-Wan flinched at his Master's words, but more from the truth they held then from their harshness.

    The older Jedi continued, "You not only caused a very large scene outside of the Temple, but then proceeded to lie to the shop owner, the law and myself. Such utter disobedience to the Jedi Code is *never* tolerated."

    It was at this point, that the young apprentice wished his head thought through what he said before his mouth worked, "But, Master, I didn't steal from that store."

    Any patience Qui-Gon had worked up before speaking to his Padawan was quickly forgotten. "Obi-Wan Kenobi, I do not understand if you are deliberately attempting to make me upset or doing it on accident, but you are succeeding to no end." The Master came to a halt directly in front of the young boy and stared down to him. "You are obviously in no mood to listen to me, but rather proclaim your innocence and I will *not* waste my time or energy right now. I want you to finish your homework- in your room- and then meditate until bed on your inexcusable behavior today. Tomorrow, when you had better be more willingly to listen, we will discuss your punishment."

    The boy remained still once his Master finished speaking until Qui-Gon pointed his arm in the direction of the apprentice's room. "Go. Study. Now."

    Obi-Wan gently bowed his head and shuffled to his room, once inside he flopped on his bed, head in pillow, and felt tears seep into the material.

    ~What is *wrong* with you?~ The Padawan shook his head, unable to answer the question. ~Why can
  13. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    Qui-Gon owes his apprentice more than a mere apology after stubbornly refusing to listen and being so hard during their sparring!!!

    Susie, that was an excellent short story...wish we could have an epilogue of Qui trying to make it up to Obi-Wan... ;) ;)
  14. greencat336 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 27, 2001
    star 5
    ::::Greencat applauds:::::::

    Great story! When are you going to write some more JA? (some readers are so greedy)
  15. Jedi Susie Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 12, 2000
    star 4
    Leona- Hmmm, a sequel...you know I never thought of that. If the bunnies hit, maybe I'll do just that.

    Greencat- Glad you liked it and thank you for letting me know! As for writing more JA **deer in headlight look** Um...well, this one story's being a bugger, but hoepfully I'll have it up soon!!
  16. Jane Jinn Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 5
    Very nice! A good way to have it all cleared up beyond a shadow of a doubt! I liked the way Qui-Gon was thinking what an awful master he was, and how hard it was for him to apologise, and the way Obi-Wan was teasing him about being stubborn.
  17. jedi_master_gimpy Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 4
    Nice fic, Susie! I liked all the emotion you managed to get - all into two (albiet long) posts!! :D

    I kept thinking, okay, now Qui-Gon's going to find out the truth....now he's going to find out the truth... and by the end I was like...hey, Qui-Gon *is* going to find out the truth, right? ;)

    And, mwuahahahahahah.... [face_devil]....I leave you with one last curse until you post your *next* fic!! the puppydog eyes!!!!
  18. Erin Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 30, 2000
    star 4
    That was a great story! I hope you can find some ideas for a sequel!
  19. Jedi Susie Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 12, 2000
    star 4
    Thanks guys! Gimpy you just *had* to give the puppy dog eyes didn't you? <sigh> That's just evil!

    I kind of began thinking of a sequel, but no promises as of yet.

    Thanks again to everyone!!
  20. Sarah_K Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 10, 2001
    star 4
    Lovely, Susie, just lovely!!

    And on my big 16 day too! ;)

    Starts humming 'Happy Birthday'

    Sarah >^,,^<
  21. Jedi Susie Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 12, 2000
    star 4
    Happy Birthday Sarah! Ahhh, sweet sixteen...that's lovely number!

    Hope your day's great and thanks for the kind words!

    ~Susie
  22. I love Sci Fi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 21, 2000
    star 4
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