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Fic: Kiza (sequeal to Fear) - please read and tell me what you think!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Keyla_Kenobi, Feb 23, 2001.

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  1. Keyla_Kenobi

    Keyla_Kenobi Jedi Youngling star 1

    May 24, 2000
    Title: Kiza
    Author: Keyla Kenobi -
    Rating: definately PG
    Feedback: Yes! Please!
    Archive: Sure, just e-mail me!
    Disclaimer: The boys belong to George Lucas, I don't make money with this,
    I just use them for the MUSH!
    Warning: There is a loving and parental relationship between Obi and Qui,
    there is no slash so if you don't like that, don't read any further.
    Summary: A dark enemy is back and his next victim is Obi-Wan. Will Qui-Gon
    be back in time to save him?
    Beta-Read by Aida (The best Beta-reader!!!! Thanx!!)
    / personal thoughts / // metal link //
    Authors note: this one is what follows to that lil fic called Fear that
    I write some time ago. It's my first attemp at suspense (yes Aida, you're
    right! :) ) so please be nice! :D BTW, you should read Fear first, just
    get an idea. 'Kiza' means (I think) 'darkness' in Swahili.
    Check out also my other fic if you want:
    Grumpy Tummy, A very Important Prescene In My Life, A Rainy Day, Fear,
    Teaching and Learning, I Found You and Together (sequeal to I Found You).



    Part 1

    "I'll be back in a week, Obi-Wan," Master Qui-Gon Jinn repeated, turning to
    look at his worried Padawan.

    The young man looked up at his Master with his well-known puppy dog eyes,
    "But do you have to go alone?" he whined.

    "You?re not going to convince me with that look, Padawan, so you might as
    well stop. I'm immune to it by now," Qui-Gon smiled and chuckled as he drew
    the boy into a warm and affectionate hug.

    Obi-Wan returned the hug with all his strength, holding on as if to keep his
    Master from leaving. He had a very bad feeling about all this.

    "Wow!" Qui-Gon laughed, "Be careful with my back, Padawan. I'm not made out
    of iron."

    Obi-wan smiled and laughed too. They held the embrace for several minutes
    until Qui-Gon was the first to pull back. "You will be staying with Master
    Skyla until I get back. Okay?"

    Obi-Wan nodded obediently, but inside him a war was being waged. All his
    senses screamed at him, telling him not to let Master Qui-Gon go on the
    mission; that something horrible was going to happen.

    But he shrugged and pushed all the anxious thoughts out of his head and,
    instead, gave his Master a beaming smile. After all, his Master was the one
    who was always telling him not to center on his anxieties.

    Qui-Gon glanced behind him and saw that his transport was being boarded. "All
    right, Obi-Wan, time to go. Be a good boy, okay? And try not to give Master
    Skyla too many headaches," he added good naturedly as he playfully ruffled
    his Padawan's hair. Still chuckling, he picked up his bag and headed towards
    the transport.

    "Master!" Obi-Wan had attempted to sound offended. But the smile on his lips
    completely ruined the attempt.

    Long after Qui-Gon had boarded the ship, and the ship had disappeared from
    sight, Obi-Wan continued to remain in the hangar. He looked past the clouds
    and at the small black dot that finally disappeared from view. He had a
    strange feeling this was going to be a long week.


    Master Skyla Lo'Tren smiled pleasantly as she began making arrangements for
    her new companion. She was glad to be spending time with Obi-Wan. She hadn?t
    seen much of him since he had been accepted as Qui-Gon?s Padawan. There.
    Everything was set. Now all she had to do was to wait for Obi-Wan?s arrival.

    Skyla was heading in the direction of the kitchen when she heard a soft knock
    at her door. Frowning, she walked towards it and called out, "Obi-Wan?"

    No answer. The young Master opened the door using her access code. But after
    the door opened, she realized that no one was there. /How strange,/ she
    thought, /I could have sworn that I heard knocking./

    Shrugging, Skyla slowly began closing the door. A sudden warning from the
    Force made her turn quickly, just in time to see a pair of yellow menacing
    eyes glaring back at her. Stunned and taken completely by surprise, Skyla
    never had a chance to cry out or escape from the sudden and enfolding
    darkness that engulfed he
  2. Jane Jinn

    Jane Jinn Jedi Knight star 5

    Jan 12, 2000
    So far so good! I liked the way Qui-Gon was immune to that begging look. Good suspense at the end. Keep going, and I'll keep reading!
  3. Abbi_Cee

    Abbi_Cee Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jul 3, 2000
    Sounds interesting, please keep writing. :)
  4. Knight_Maria

    Knight_Maria Jedi Youngling star 3

    Jan 4, 2001
    AHHHHH!!!!!! is it a young terror, Maul? hmm... or maybe just a pathetic lifeform? OoO, the possibilities!

  5. Keyla_Kenobi

    Keyla_Kenobi Jedi Youngling star 1

    May 24, 2000
    Part 2

    Obi-Wan finally reached Master Skyla's quarters. /Well, at least I'm staying
    with her instead of with Master Windu!/ Obi-Wan had considered the idea of
    staying with Mace, but then he shuddered at the thought. He really didn't
    wanted to spend an entire week with a Master whose favorite TV show was the

    The small Padawan reached up and pressed the door chime, then waited. And
    waited. And waited. He pressed it again, but with the same results.

    "Master Skyla?" he called from outside. He pressed his ear to the door in
    order to see if he could hear anything, anything at all. But all he heard
    was silence. /What's going on in there?/ he thought, a little confused.
    Master Skyla was supposed to have been at home waiting for him. He had
    received her message inviting him over only a short while ago.

    Leaving his bag on the floor, he concentrated and used the Force to try and
    open the door. After a few seconds, the door?s magnetic lock clicked and the
    door slid open. He slowly stepped inside, taking in the entire livingroom
    area. He looked for something, anything, that may had been out of order. But
    everything was in its place. Even more confounding was that everything was
    clean and in complete order.

    Frowning, he called out again. "Master Skyla? Are you in here?"

    No one answered. He turned and then lightly jogged in the direction of
    Skyla's bedroom. /Maybe she's asleep./

    Opening the door, he looked inside. The room was completely bathed in
    darkness. He looked blindly for the light switch with his right hand, but as
    he touched the controls, he felt a hand land on his shoulder.

    "Ah!", he shouted, startled, as he jumped around to face the hand?s owner. He
    was relieved to see Master Skyla standing in front of him. "Master Skyla!"
    he exclaimed, breathing heavily while at the same time placing a hand over
    his heart and smiling, "You really scared me!"

    But it appeared that Master Skyla had not considered the situation funny at
    all. Her always soft and kind features now appeared stern and severe. And
    she looked very angry. Obi-Wan also noticed something out place with her
    eyes, they looked lifeless, cold...

    "Who let you in?" she asked sharply.

    The young man looked at her in surprise. "N-nobody, Master...I-I...," he
    stammered before he was again cut by Skyla's sharp voice.

    "Then, why did you enter?"

    Obi-Wan frowned confused, " door chime...nobody answered, so I
    thought that something might have happened..."

    "Nothing happened, Padawan Kenobi. Now go to your room and don't come out
    until I tell you!" Skyla ordered in an icy tone. She then turned to head
    back to the kitchen.

    "B-but...," Obi-Wan's words were cut by an unexpected back-handed slap that
    cut across his cheek.

    The Creche Master glared at him, blazing fire in her cold eyes. "That was an
    order, Padawan Kenobi, not a suggestion!"

    Obi-Wan couldn't believe what had just happened. Had Master Skyla really hit
    him? He looked up at the Master, pain and confusion written on his young
    face, seeking answers. But, as he looked into the Master's menacing eyes, he
    knew there would be none. Instead, he felt a strange wave of fear run down
    his spine, making him shudder. He knew better than to argue further.
    Lowering his head, he nodded quickly, still holding his stinging cheek, and
    almost ran into his room.

    Once inside, Obi-Wan heard noises coming from behind the door, followed by a
    low 'beep'. He looked at the control pad located to the side of the door, and
    noticed a tiny red flashing light blinking above the buttons.

    /What the...?/ he approached the pad to get a closer look. Next to the red
    light he found a little screen with the word ?LOCKED? written on it.

    Then, realization hit him. Skyla had locked him in his room! This was far
    too weird! Why was Master Skyla acting so strangely towards him?

    Obi-Wan felt a sudden strange taste in his mouth. He went quickly to the
    room's small bathroom, looked in the mirror, and found that his lower lip was
  6. Abbi_Cee

    Abbi_Cee Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jul 3, 2000
    Wow. What happened to Master Skyla? Possessed or has a double taken her place? What will Obi-Wan do? Can't wait to read your next part.
  7. Kaylla Norn

    Kaylla Norn Jedi Youngling star 3

    Mar 2, 2000
    Drated, no part three yet... guess I will just have to wait. <sigh>
  8. Keyla_Kenobi

    Keyla_Kenobi Jedi Youngling star 1

    May 24, 2000
    Part 3

    Obi-wan couldn't sleep. He had been locked away in his room since arriving
    at Master Skyla's quarters; that was five hours ago. His empty stomach was
    beginning to protest angrily. He was very hungry and his now swollen lip was
    really throbbing. Obi-Wan hadn't realized just how much force had been used
    to strike him, until now. His cheek had stopped stinging a while ago, now it
    hurt and was aching. The young apprentice had acquired quite a large bruise
    on the side of his face.

    /Master Skyla is not that strong! There's no way such a simple slap could
    have split my lip like that!/

    His stomach growled again. Obi-Wan knew he could easily open the door by
    manipulating the lock by using the Force, and then quietly heading to the
    kitchen to
    get himself something to eat but, when he recalled Master Skyla's reaction to
    his earlier unauthorized inspection of her bedroom, he decided to remain in
    his room.

    But, what bothered Obi-Wan the most was the fact that he was unable to
    contact Qui-Gon through their bond. He had tried and tried, but he just
    couldn't get any response from his Master. Only silence. And he didn't like
    that at all. What if something bad had happened? What if Master Qui-Gon was
    in trouble? He knew his master had been away for only a day, but the silence
    was killing him.

    Obi-Wan sighed. Master Skyla must surely be asleep by now. Maybe he could
    finally retrieve his bag from where he had left it in the livingroom. After
    all, he hadn't been able to do anything for five long hours.

    Getting up and quickly leaving his bed, Obi-Wan walked stealthily towards the
    door. Utilizing the Force, he quickly tripped the locking mechanism and,
    cautiously opening the door, looked into livingroom area. When he finally
    reached to grab his bag, he was about to turn and head back towards his room,
    when his stomach growled again. He was so close to kitchen, and Master Skyla
    was probably still asleep. Placing his bag just outside the kitchen door, he
    headed inside and walked in the direction of the refrigerator.

    The hungry padawan slowly opened the refrigerator door. Ensuring that the
    little light did not remain lit too long, he grabbed at the first thing he
    saw - which turned out to be a slice of chocolate cake. Clutching his prize
    to his chest, he quietly closed the door, climbed up on one of the chairs,
    and began eating happily. He was so hungry! As he began eating the cake in
    large bites, he soon realized that he was thirsty as well.

    Obi-Wan stood and quickly tip-toed to retrieve a water bottle from the
    refrigerator. But, as he turned to head back to the task of pleasing his
    grumpy stomach, the padawan found himself face-to-face with Master Skyla.
    Gasping in surprise, Obi-Wan stumbled back unsteadily. He soon found himself
    backed up against the refrigerator door, water bottle still clutched in his
    small shaking hands.

    "I thought I told you to stay in your room," the Master stated in the same
    calm, icy tone.

    Obi-Wan swallowed hard. "I-I know,'s just that I was a bit hungry
    and...,? the padawan's voice trailed off as he looked pleadingly into Skyla's
    cold eyes. Although they looked lifeless, Obi-Wan could clearly see a
    strange yellow glow emanating from them and which could easily seen in the
    darkness of the kitchen. Frowning in confusion, Obi-Wan timidly asked,
    "Master Skyla...are you all right?"

    For a brief moment, the young Master simply stood silently in front of him.
    a faint smile began spreading across her lips. Obi-Wan suppressed a sigh of

    "Of course I'm all right, Padawan Kenobi," again, she addressed him by his
    title. Why was Skyla calling him 'Padawan Kenobi' when she had always
    referred to him as Obi-wan, or even Obi? "Perhaps it is you who is not
    feeling all right. Or perhaps something else is the matter?"

    The young apprentice shook his head in confusion at the master?s words. /What
    is...?/ His thoughts were suddenly interrupted as Master Skyla reached
    forward and caught him by the throat. She pres
  9. LadyVorgunby

    LadyVorgunby Jedi Youngling star 3

    Sep 2, 2000
    hmmm...very interesting ;)

    can't wait to see what's going to happen to poor obi this this time!
  10. Keyla_Kenobi

    Keyla_Kenobi Jedi Youngling star 1

    May 24, 2000
    thanks! up!
  11. Keyla_Kenobi

    Keyla_Kenobi Jedi Youngling star 1

    May 24, 2000
    Part 4 coming soon!
  12. Kaylla Norn

    Kaylla Norn Jedi Youngling star 3

    Mar 2, 2000
    Not soon enough!
  13. Abbi_Cee

    Abbi_Cee Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jul 3, 2000
    Poor Obi. Can Master Skyla keep Obi away from everyone until Qui-Gon returns? What about classes? Surely when Obi gets out he'll tell someone. What can her plan be?
  14. Keyla_Kenobi

    Keyla_Kenobi Jedi Youngling star 1

    May 24, 2000
    Part 4

    The days that followed were even worse than the first. Obi-Wan was forced to
    remain inside his room most of the day, Master Skyla wouldn?t even permit him
    to attend classes. During the moments when Skyla did allow him to leave his
    prison, anything he said was enough to infuriate her. And why was Master
    Skyla not allowing him to leave their quarters? Obi-Wan was unable to come
    up with any logical reason for the master?s behavior. He felt like a small
    animal being kept in a cage.

    Obi-Wan lay exhausted on his bed as he looked out the window, watching the
    hundreds of spacecraft that crossed Coruscant?s darkened sky. Despite the
    late hour, traffic still dominated the skyline, casting soft beams of light
    to fall into the padawan?s darkened room.

    Obi-Wan sighed wearily. Why was this happening to him? Had he done something
    wrong? And worst of all, Master Qui-Gon still had not arrived, even though
    his scheduled arrival at the Temple was two days ago. Obi-Wan had not even
    received a single call from him. What worried the weary apprentice the most
    was that he still couldn't reach Qui-Gon through their bond. Every time the
    Padawan tried, he found only the same eerie silence.

    Obi-Wan blinked in surprised when a soft sob escaped him. He hadn't even
    noticed the tears that had been silently flowing down his cheeks, dampening
    the pillow. He felt so alone, so...abandoned.

    /Stop right there, Kenobi!/ he scolded himself, /Your Master would never
    abandon you. Would he?/ Obi-Wan vehemently shook he head, /Of course not!
    But maybe...,/ He knew he shouldn't be doubting his master, but he felt so
    very alone. Why hadn?t Master Jinn called? And why couldn't he reach him?
    There were so many questions, and so few answers.

    The weary apprentice lifted his arm to wipe the tears from his eyes, but
    winced at the movement. His left arm was hurting badly, and his right leg as
    well. As he gently massaged his injured arm, he thought back to how he had
    sustained his injuries.

    He and Master Skyla had been eating dinner together in uncomfortable silence.
    Several times, Obi-Wan had dared brief glances in her direction, but only
    found her eating calmly. Carefully placing his spoon on his plate, he
    summoned his courage to speak.

    "Master Skyla?" he had at last spoken.

    The Master had looked up and displayed a small, kind smile, "Yes?"

    Obi-Wan had smiled shyly in return, "I...I was wondering...if you?ve been
    angry at me....," he had begun.

    But that simple and innocent question was enough to provoke a nightmare

    He still couldn't understand why Master Skyla had reacted so badly at the
    question. But, before he could react, the master was yelling again at him,
    and was then advancing in the direction of the startled padawan. He still
    couldn't quite recall what she had screamed at him, but what he did remember
    clearly was the way she had grabbed him by his shirt, and had shoved him
    roughly against a wall. He had been pushed with such strength that his small
    body had left an indentation in the plaster. Obi-Wan had cried out as a
    sharp pain ran through his arm. He desperately clenched his teeth trying to
    suppress any further cries, but was unable to do so when Skyla pulled him up
    by his wounded arm.

    As he was passing by Skyla?s quarters, Master Windu heard a padawan's sharp,
    sudden cry. He knocked several times at the door, but had received no answer.
    Quickly entering a special access code available to Council members only,
    Mace Windu opened the door and quickly stepped inside. There, he found
    Obi-Wan sitting on the floor with his eyes tightly shut. The young Padawan
    was visibly in pain as he cradled his left arm against his chest.

    Taken by surprise, the Creche Master had quickly knelt beside Obi-Wan as she
    began rubbing his back in comfort and began speaking in soft, soothing words.
    But, Obi-Wan was in too much pain to pay attention to what was happening
    around him.

    Mace approached the small apprentice and knelt beside him. "Are you all
    right, Obi-Wa
  15. Knight_Maria

    Knight_Maria Jedi Youngling star 3

    Jan 4, 2001

    Hurry back to your padawan, Qui-Gon!!!!!! FAST!

    I have a BAD feeling about this...

  16. LadyVorgunby

    LadyVorgunby Jedi Youngling star 3

    Sep 2, 2000
    oh Qui you need to hurry back to Obi before something bad happens!!

    great post Keyla, keep it coming!
  17. Jane Jinn

    Jane Jinn Jedi Knight star 5

    Jan 12, 2000
    Sinister...sinister...hurry up and get back, Qui-Gon!
  18. Keyla_Kenobi

    Keyla_Kenobi Jedi Youngling star 1

    May 24, 2000 post or not to post? muehehehe....
    (Part 5 coming soon! Up!)
  19. Abbi_Cee

    Abbi_Cee Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jul 3, 2000
    So now Qui-Gon knows the truth. Hope he calls the temple and gets Mace to go rescue Obi before it's too late.
  20. Knight_Maria

    Knight_Maria Jedi Youngling star 3

    Jan 4, 2001
    *Chants* POST POST POST!!!
  21. Keyla_Kenobi

    Keyla_Kenobi Jedi Youngling star 1

    May 24, 2000
    Here part 5!

    Part 5

    /Damn!/ Creche Master Skyla angrily slapped the table with both palms. /That
    kid was able to contact Qui-Gon even with my Force-shield surrounding this
    place!/ Turning, she quickly stormed out and headed towards Obi-Wan?s room.
    Without hesitation, she gestured angrily at door and opened it explosively
    with a Force-blow. The door was ripped from its hinges, landing loudly with
    a crash against a far wall.

    Startled by the force of impact, Obi-Wan jumped out of the bed and
    instinctively called his lightsaber to his hand. He winced as a sharp pain
    ran from his wrist and up his arm, but he continued to hold his ?saber as
    steadily as he could. His jaw dropped as he looked at Master Skyla and
    realized that it was she who had caused the wreckage.

    "You contacted your Master!" Skyla yelled in hot, seething fury.

    Slowly lowering his lightsaber, Obi-Wan attempted to mentally process what
    had just happened, and who had caused it. The stunned apprentice shook his
    head to try and clear his thoughts, but he quickly recovered his senses as he
    realized that Master Skyla was advancing upon him.

    "I-I...I did,...almost...," Obi-Wan stammered nervously, the now-familiar
    sensation of fear creeping up his back as he looked into the Master's
    menacing eyes. The sensation was so cold and overwhelming, that it almost
    made the young apprentice drop his ?saber.

    Skyla smiled as she sensed the young Padawan?s vulnerable and confused
    thoughts. It was exactly what she had been waiting for.

    "Obi-Wan, don?t you understand what has happened to you?" Skyla asked in a
    quiet, velvety tone.

    Obi-Wan felt uncomfortable at the sudden change in Skyla's demeanor.

    "Understand?" he asked hesitantly. The combination of suffocating fear and
    Skyla?s sudden change in attitude was making his heart race.

    Skyla lightly chuckled, "Didn?t Qui-Gon ever tell you his little secret?" she
    asked with a soft, mocking smile.

    The frightened Padawan just stared at her, unable to speak, unable to move.

    "Well, it appears that he did not. All right then. Tell me, Obi-Wan, what
    exactly do you remember of the time when you were around six years old?" she
    asked as she took a few soft steps toward the shaking apprentice.

    "N-nothing...," Obi-Wan answered, confused and trying to keep as much space
    between himself and Skyla. What was Master Skyla getting at? What secret?
    Qui-Gon had a ?little secret??

    "Don?t you recall that shortly after you turned six years old, Qui-Gon no
    longer came to see you?" Skyla purred as she stopped her advance.

    Obi-Wan nodded slowly, eyeing the Master suspiciously, but still maintaining
    his distance.

    "And do you know why, Obi-Wan? It was because he had left the Temple."
    Skyla answered quietly as she sat down on the edge of the bed.

    "Left?" Obi-Wan whispered in soft surprise.

    "Yes. He left. He was gone for seven years, Obi-Wan, seven long years.
    And, would you like to know something else?" the Master slowly leaned in the
    direction of the transfixed apprentice, "He left...because of you."

    The young Padawan stared transfixed at the Master, shock clearly visible in
    his blue-gray eyes, "What?"

    "Yes. You. Master Yoda had asked Qui-Gon to train you, but Qui-Gon would
    not accept the assignment for the simple reason he thought you too reckless,
    fearful and impatient to be trained as a Jedi. To be honest, he thought you
    were just a waste of his time," Skyla added as she looked at Obi-Wan in mock
    sympathy .

    Obi-Wan shook his head in denial, "That's not true!" But deep inside, doubts
    began to surface.

    "Oh, but it is true, Obi-Wan. Qui-Gon had a tough time adjusting after his
    last Padawan fell to the Dark Side. After such bad experience, he didn't want
    to go through the pain of training another initiate. Especially one who he
    saw as worthless and untrainable,? Skyla stopped, waiting for the words to
    hit their mark, ?You do realize he never really wanted you. And he doesn't
    want you now, dear boy," the young Master purred, completely a
  22. LadyVorgunby

    LadyVorgunby Jedi Youngling star 3

    Sep 2, 2000
    oh Keyla, you just can't leave it there!!! That's pure evil!!!

    Oh, Qui hurry home, please!!!

    I liked (not really, but you know what I mean) the way that Sklya was able to manipulate Obi's fears in a way to lower his resistance enough for the *thing* to body jump(?) I think that's whats happening anyway...

    QUi, hurry up!
  23. Knight_Maria

    Knight_Maria Jedi Youngling star 3

    Jan 4, 2001
    Skyla's BAD!!!! Come BACK Qui-Gon!!! Come Save our dear poor Obi!!!

    Great post! But baaadddd... spot to leave us at! :p
  24. JediCandy

    JediCandy Jedi Youngling star 3

    Mar 24, 2000
  25. Keyla_Kenobi

    Keyla_Kenobi Jedi Youngling star 1

    May 24, 2000
    more coming soon!! promise! :)
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