Beyond - Legends Fidelis: Hold On (K/J/OC angst songfic)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Dantana Skywalker, Feb 25, 2004.

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  1. Dantana Skywalker Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Apr 7, 2002
    star 5
    Title: Fidelis: Hold On
    Author(s): DantanaSkywalker
    Timeframe: post NJO
    Characters: Kyp Durron, Jaina Solo
    Genre: songfic, vignette, romance
    Keywords: K/J, Kyp, Jaina, angst
    Summary: Kyp deals with his feelings for Jaina. Sequel to What If and Lies.
    Author Notes: If you recognise it, it ain't mine, unless you've read the first two. I own Elsha and Jailyn. The song lyrics are "Hold On To The Nights" by Richard Marx.


    Just when I believed
    I couldn't ever want for more
    This ever changing world
    Pushes me through another door


    No one noticed them leave the party. It was late by then, and most of the partygoers were more than tipsy. And even if someone had noticed, it wouldn't have occured to them that anything was afoot. They hadn't spent any particular time together. In truth, it would have been more accurate to say that they were conspicuous in their avoidance of each other.

    Not that anything had been in the works. Not then. He'd left the party, unable to be near her . . . and she'd followed him.

    They'd met in the garden, talked for a while.

    She'd looked up at him, smiling at something he'd said.

    The next thing he knew, he'd kissed her.

    I saw you smile
    And my mind could not erase
    The beauty of your face
    Just for a while
    Won't you let me shelter you


    It wasn't supposed to go this way. He'd turned to Elsha out of grief for Jaina, who had married another.

    Jaina wasn't supposed to come back. In his semi-perfect world, if she'd left, she would stay away. Not return to haunt him, disturb his nights and distract his days.

    It was worse now, with Elsha and Jailyn, his one-year-old son, away on Denon. Actually, Kyp didn't know who was away from whom. Elsha was on Denon, where she was Aide to the Chief of State. Kyp was at the Jedi academy on Ossus, and had been for nearly six months.

    He wondered if Elsha knew. If she'd somehow figured out that he loved another. That he had always loved another.

    He knew it was wrong, that he loved Jaina while married to Elsha. He had a family with Elsha. With Jaina . . . it was nothing but torment and pain, endless nights of longing, and interminable days of a wracked conscience.

    Kyp didn't know what to do. He didn't want to hurt Elsha . . . but it was impossible to stay away from Jaina.

    He couldn't remember, now, when he'd started loving her. All he knew was that when Jaina had married Jag, he knew he'd never be the same. It had crushed him, when Jaina had returned after three years. He'd opened the door to find his soulmate outside, pleading for help, with his wife and child only a room away.

    He'd tried to pushed aside his love for her, lock it away deep in his heart. He didn't want to hurt Elsha.

    But now . . . now he had hurt her worse than just loving Jaina ever would have.

    Hold on to the nights
    Hold on to the memories
    I wish that I could give you more
    That I could be yours


    How had it come to this?

    It was what he'd wanted, dreamed of, for years on end. But he'd sworn it wouldn't happen. First because of her husband, then because of his wife. And his child.

    Kyp Durron was in a web of his own weaving, and each passing second only made his predicament worse.

    He wished that he was strong enough to stand by his wife, but he knew he wasn't. Just as he knew he could never, ever wish to stop loving Jaina. The moment he stopped loving her would be his last.

    He longed to be the person Elsha deserved, if only for his own peace of mind. She needed better than him, even if she didn't know it.

    And so did Jaina.

    How do we explain
    Something that took us by surprise
    Promises in vain
    Love that is real but in disguise


    Beside him, Jaina woke, her hair falling around her face as she sat up. "Kyp?"

    "I'm sorry," he said. "This shouldn't have happened."

    She ducked her head, but not before he saw her tears
  2. Lady_WinterCelchu Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 23, 2003
    star 3
    I just read all three fics theyre beautiful.
    Youve managed to create a very realistic portrayal of how one mistake can screw up everything.
    ok ill stop now anyway looking forward to the next sequal
  3. EBrooklynW Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 11, 2003
    star 1
    While Kyp maybe a jerk in this story, His wife's got issues. She knew the risks sleeping with a jedi master and having his kid. Nothing to cry over. . . I think that She's been sleeping around too. Yup. With Jag. That's my story and i"m sticking to it.

    ~EBW
  4. Trickster_Jaina_Fel Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 3, 2002
    star 5
    *sighs* i love this series, Dana...honestly, i think it's your best work, or at least what i've read of it :) I agree with the hypothesis about elsha...she's dropping out of this marriage as much as kyp is :( if she hasn't slipped out yet, she will soon. that chatterly/housewife stuff just confirms it. she's feeling guilty [face_plain]

    anyway, enough of me explaining what you no doubt already know :p

    great job :D *waits patiently for the next installment*

    ~TJF
  5. JainaDurron Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 8, 2002
    star 4
    This was beautiful and heart breaking, Dana. But I loved it. Looking forward to the next in the series.

    ~~Jilly
  6. SaberBlade Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 19, 2001
    star 3
    I'm glad you decided to continue this, and looked forward to the next one.

    Quick question: Who named Jailyn, Kyp or his wife? I just noticed that Jailyn has the same first syllable as Jaina. Was that intentional or no? Am I just reading too much into it?

    I liked the very first segment of this bit. Very poetic.

    -Saber
  7. Dantana Skywalker Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Apr 7, 2002
    star 5
    Lady_WinterCelchu - I just read all three fics theyre beautiful.
    Youve managed to create a very realistic portrayal of how one mistake can screw up everything.
    ok ill stop now anyway looking forward to the next sequal


    Thank you. I really have to say I'm surprised at how people have responded to these ones . . . I never intended this to go any farther than "What If", which was supposed to be just a stand-alone one-shot thing.

    I've frequently been told my strongest point in writing is making people real. I guess that's so . . . I just write them the way the way to be written.


    EBW - While Kyp maybe a jerk in this story, His wife's got issues. She knew the risks sleeping with a jedi master and having his kid. Nothing to cry over. . . I think that She's been sleeping around too. Yup. With Jag. That's my story and i"m sticking to it.

    And, as usual, you know more than most. :D But you can't tell, or I'll hurt you! :p

    Y'know . . . You haven't ever been named my offical beta, but you've acted in that capacity since May. And I know most of this stuff wouldn't see the light of day in anything approaching a timely manner if you didn't prod me constantly. Thank you for everything you do. I appreciate it. :)


    Trickster_Jaina_Fel - *sighs* i love this series, Dana...honestly, i think it's your best work, or at least what i've read of it I agree with the hypothesis about elsha...she's dropping out of this marriage as much as kyp is if she hasn't slipped out yet, she will soon. that chatterly/housewife stuff just confirms it. she's feeling guilty

    Well, like they say, it takes two to tango. And Jaina DID try to point out Elsha's shortcomings to Kyp.

    anyway, enough of me explaining what you no doubt already know

    Of course I know it. I'm the writer!

    . . . Though you'd be surprised just what my characters have kept from me. One in particular.

    great job *waits patiently for the next installment*

    Which isn't an installment . . . it's an entire short-story. The 4th one, which I started writing last night, has gone waaaaaay beyond vignette into full story territory, so . . . Not sure when I'll post that one.


    Jilly - This was beautiful and heart breaking, Dana. But I loved it. Looking forward to the next in the series.

    Thank you. :)


    SaberBlade - [/i]I'm glad you decided to continue this, and looked forward to the next one.[/i]

    I'm looking forward to it, too. I think it's my favourite of them.

    Quick question: Who named Jailyn, Kyp or his wife? I just noticed that Jailyn has the same first syllable as Jaina. Was that intentional or no? Am I just reading too much into it?

    That was me. I named him that, and it was after I posted "Lies" that I realised what I'd done. It, obviously, was Kyp who named him that.

    I liked the very first segment of this bit. Very poetic.

    I liked that part, too. I had trouble starting the story, but when I came up with that, it all fell into place.


    Dana
  8. Fireyforce Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 23, 2003
    star 4
    More soon? Please this is really really good!!

    Fireyforce
  9. JediMasterKobe Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 10, 2003
    star 4
    Uh oh, Elsha has a thing against the Force? Then why'd she marry a Jedi Master?
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