Beyond - Legends Fidelis: Lies (K/J angst songfic)

Title: Fidelis: Lies
Author(s): DantanaSkywalker
Timeframe: post-NJO
Characters: Jaina Solo, Kyp Durron
Genre: songfic, vignette
Keywords: K/J, Kyp, Jaina, angst
Summary: sequel to What If; Jaina and Kyp discuss their marriages
Notes: Song is "The Hardest Thing" by 98 Degrees. I only own Elsha and Jailyn.



A knock at the door woke Jaina Solo sometime in the night. She sat up, groggily looking around her bedroom in her quarters at the academy.

She sighed and got out of bed, pulling her robe closed as she shuffled to the door.

The last thing she expected was to find Kyp Durron at her door.

We both know that I shouldn't be here
This is wrong
And, baby, it's killing me
It's killing you
Both of us trying to be strong

"Can I come in?" he asked, voice just a little hoarse. He looked like he'd been drinking.

Jaina hesitated, then stepped back, letting him into the room.

"Thanks," he mumbled. He walked in, blinking as Jaina turned on the light.

When he turned around and took in her sleep-rumpled hair, large brown eyes, and drowsy expression, he knew he couldn't say what he'd planned.

I got somewhere else to be
Promises to keep
Someone else who loves me
And trusting me fast asleep

Jaina finished tying her robe closed and went into the kitchen. "Would you like some caf?"

"Uh, sure." He followed her, slowly, trying not to notice the womanly form she barely concealed by her old robe.

Once they had their mugs, they sat at the table.

I've made up my mind
There is no turning back
She's been good to me
And she deserves better than that

"I didn't know you'd be coming back," he said quietly. "When you left with Fel, three years ago, part of me thought I'd never see you again."

Jaina stared at the dark surface of the liquid in her mug. "My family's here, Kyp. You know that. Of course I'd be back to see them."

"But you didn't come back. Not once in three years."

A shadow fell over the warm brown of her eyes and he regretted saying it.

"What did he do to you?" he asked.

It's the hardest thing
I'll ever have to do
To look you in the eye
And tell you I don't love you

"If it's blood you want, Kyp . . . you're not my protector." Her voice was harsh, sharper than she'd intended. Jaina stopped, then said, in a softer voice, "He didn't hit me. But you're right. I didn't come back. I couldn't. He wouldn't let me."

Kyp's hand reached for hers, then stopped. After a moment, he placed the warm, rough palm of his hand over hers. "That night on Denon . . . I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be so rude. I just wasn't . . . prepared to see you. And Jailyn had just been born a few days before . . ."

At the blank look on her face, he said, "My son. Jailyn. My wife . . . is Elsha."

It's the hardest thing
I'll ever have to lie
To show no emotion
When you start to cry

Jaina looked down, at the still-pale place on her finger where her ring had been for three years. "Do you love her?"

Kyp hesitated, then said, "Yes. I love her."

"Good." She pulled her hand from under his and wrapped her fingers tight around the deep red ceramic of her mug. She had the thought that it looked like blood. "Good. Spouses should love each other."

He was almost afraid to ask. "Did Jag not love you?"

"I thought he did," Jaina laughed bitterly. "I guess . . . he didn't love me enough."

"Enough for what?"

"To make up for my not loving him." She tucked a strand of dark hair behind her ear. "You were right. You never said it aloud, but you were right. He was wrong for me."

I can't let you see
What you mean to me
When my hands are tied
And my heart's not free
We're not meant to be

Kyp had yearned to hear her say those words, but not when it was too late. "Jaina . . ."

"Is she a Jedi?" Jaina asked suddenly, cutting him off.

"I . . . No. She's not. She's . . . Elsha's an aide to Chief of State Omas."

"Oh.

 

And I thought I could get a happy ending....sad, but beautiful.

Wow, I haven't heard that song in forever.

*cries*

 

AIEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!! *growls* Okay it was a good ficlet but.... *sniff* Poor Kyp and Poor Jaina.

But also poor Elsha and Jailyn. It can't be easy for Kyp to stay with a woman he feels obligated to and is connected to due to their son, when the love of his life is free to be with him now. And the poor baby!

Another sequel maybe?

~~Jilly

 

Hmm. Possibly . . .

Thing is, I don't want to force a happy ending. I just wrote this one 'cause I happened to be thinking of writing a sequel and I stumbled across the song.

IF I find a suitable song, I'll write another sequel.


Dana

 

Hmmmm...I really don't know what to think of this one...twas excellent, Dana, as usual...but had a twist in it I wasn't expecting always good but...great stuff, sweetie!

-JSD

 

What twist was that?

Dana

 

Reminds me of Doctor Zhivago. Though I like Lara better than Jaina.

That was rather tragic, but I'm glad he made the choice he did in the end. *sigh*

 

i think that was my favourite vignette ever....simply beautiful, Dana. That one just packed a punch

~TJF

 

*sniff* Here I was having a good day, and I see a ficlet by Dana! And it's a SEQUEL...and I think its gonna be all aww...


*sniff*

I was wrong.

But it was very good. I want nice mush now...


*goes in search of it*

 

that was beautiful and sad and horrorable and awful and happy and heartbreaking all at the same time!

Which is the way it should be.

Great job!

But I really wish kyp and Jaina could be together.

But you are also right, a forced happy ending isn't the way to go in a story at all.

 

K Dana, I'm going to say this one more time : HAPPY ENDINGS.

You don't write enought happy endings. I don't care if you want to count them up. HAPPY ENDINGS

Oh and STUPID KYPPIE!!! your hand is better than the possibility of having a kid with a woman, but nooooo, that just doesn't make you feel masculine. you had to knock up the woman while you're WAITING for Jaina.

Dumb Kyppie
Stupid Jaina

Grrrr... Sequal and make it HAPPY!!!

 

Okay...this needs another sequel

Wow. Poor Kyp...what is it with men and honour and... nevermind.

Great story!

 

Ooooh. Kyp's stuck in between the proverbial rock and a hard place. What will he follow, his heart or his mind?