Title: Fidelis: Lies Author(s): DantanaSkywalker Timeframe: post-NJO Characters: Jaina Solo, Kyp Durron Genre: songfic, vignette Keywords: K/J, Kyp, Jaina, angst Summary: sequel to [link=http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=13903755]What If[/link]; Jaina and Kyp discuss their marriages Notes: Song is "The Hardest Thing" by 98 Degrees. I only own Elsha and Jailyn. A knock at the door woke Jaina Solo sometime in the night. She sat up, groggily looking around her bedroom in her quarters at the academy. She sighed and got out of bed, pulling her robe closed as she shuffled to the door. The last thing she expected was to find Kyp Durron at her door. We both know that I shouldn't be here This is wrong And, baby, it's killing me It's killing you Both of us trying to be strong "Can I come in?" he asked, voice just a little hoarse. He looked like he'd been drinking. Jaina hesitated, then stepped back, letting him into the room. "Thanks," he mumbled. He walked in, blinking as Jaina turned on the light. When he turned around and took in her sleep-rumpled hair, large brown eyes, and drowsy expression, he knew he couldn't say what he'd planned. I got somewhere else to be Promises to keep Someone else who loves me And trusting me fast asleep Jaina finished tying her robe closed and went into the kitchen. "Would you like some caf?" "Uh, sure." He followed her, slowly, trying not to notice the womanly form she barely concealed by her old robe. Once they had their mugs, they sat at the table. I've made up my mind There is no turning back She's been good to me And she deserves better than that "I didn't know you'd be coming back," he said quietly. "When you left with Fel, three years ago, part of me thought I'd never see you again." Jaina stared at the dark surface of the liquid in her mug. "My family's here, Kyp. You know that. Of course I'd be back to see them." "But you didn't come back. Not once in three years." A shadow fell over the warm brown of her eyes and he regretted saying it. "What did he do to you?" he asked. It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do To look you in the eye And tell you I don't love you "If it's blood you want, Kyp . . . you're not my protector." Her voice was harsh, sharper than she'd intended. Jaina stopped, then said, in a softer voice, "He didn't hit me. But you're right. I didn't come back. I couldn't. He wouldn't let me." Kyp's hand reached for hers, then stopped. After a moment, he placed the warm, rough palm of his hand over hers. "That night on Denon . . . I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be so rude. I just wasn't . . . prepared to see you. And Jailyn had just been born a few days before . . ." At the blank look on her face, he said, "My son. Jailyn. My wife . . . is Elsha." It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to lie To show no emotion When you start to cry Jaina looked down, at the still-pale place on her finger where her ring had been for three years. "Do you love her?" Kyp hesitated, then said, "Yes. I love her." "Good." She pulled her hand from under his and wrapped her fingers tight around the deep red ceramic of her mug. She had the thought that it looked like blood. "Good. Spouses should love each other." He was almost afraid to ask. "Did Jag not love you?" "I thought he did," Jaina laughed bitterly. "I guess . . . he didn't love me enough." "Enough for what?" "To make up for my not loving him." She tucked a strand of dark hair behind her ear. "You were right. You never said it aloud, but you were right. He was wrong for me." I can't let you see What you mean to me When my hands are tied And my heart's not free We're not meant to be Kyp had yearned to hear her say those words, but not when it was too late. "Jaina . . ." "Is she a Jedi?" Jaina asked suddenly, cutting him off. "I . . . No. She's not. She's . . . Elsha's an aide to Chief of State Omas." "Oh.