Beyond Fidelis: Lies (K/J angst songfic)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Dantana Skywalker, Nov 16, 2003.

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  1. Dantana Skywalker Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Apr 7, 2002
    star 5
    Title: Fidelis: Lies
    Author(s): DantanaSkywalker
    Timeframe: post-NJO
    Characters: Jaina Solo, Kyp Durron
    Genre: songfic, vignette
    Keywords: K/J, Kyp, Jaina, angst
    Summary: sequel to What If; Jaina and Kyp discuss their marriages
    Notes: Song is "The Hardest Thing" by 98 Degrees. I only own Elsha and Jailyn.



    A knock at the door woke Jaina Solo sometime in the night. She sat up, groggily looking around her bedroom in her quarters at the academy.

    She sighed and got out of bed, pulling her robe closed as she shuffled to the door.

    The last thing she expected was to find Kyp Durron at her door.

    We both know that I shouldn't be here
    This is wrong
    And, baby, it's killing me
    It's killing you
    Both of us trying to be strong


    "Can I come in?" he asked, voice just a little hoarse. He looked like he'd been drinking.

    Jaina hesitated, then stepped back, letting him into the room.

    "Thanks," he mumbled. He walked in, blinking as Jaina turned on the light.

    When he turned around and took in her sleep-rumpled hair, large brown eyes, and drowsy expression, he knew he couldn't say what he'd planned.

    I got somewhere else to be
    Promises to keep
    Someone else who loves me
    And trusting me fast asleep


    Jaina finished tying her robe closed and went into the kitchen. "Would you like some caf?"

    "Uh, sure." He followed her, slowly, trying not to notice the womanly form she barely concealed by her old robe.

    Once they had their mugs, they sat at the table.

    I've made up my mind
    There is no turning back
    She's been good to me
    And she deserves better than that


    "I didn't know you'd be coming back," he said quietly. "When you left with Fel, three years ago, part of me thought I'd never see you again."

    Jaina stared at the dark surface of the liquid in her mug. "My family's here, Kyp. You know that. Of course I'd be back to see them."

    "But you didn't come back. Not once in three years."

    A shadow fell over the warm brown of her eyes and he regretted saying it.

    "What did he do to you?" he asked.

    It's the hardest thing
    I'll ever have to do
    To look you in the eye
    And tell you I don't love you


    "If it's blood you want, Kyp . . . you're not my protector." Her voice was harsh, sharper than she'd intended. Jaina stopped, then said, in a softer voice, "He didn't hit me. But you're right. I didn't come back. I couldn't. He wouldn't let me."

    Kyp's hand reached for hers, then stopped. After a moment, he placed the warm, rough palm of his hand over hers. "That night on Denon . . . I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be so rude. I just wasn't . . . prepared to see you. And Jailyn had just been born a few days before . . ."

    At the blank look on her face, he said, "My son. Jailyn. My wife . . . is Elsha."

    It's the hardest thing
    I'll ever have to lie
    To show no emotion
    When you start to cry


    Jaina looked down, at the still-pale place on her finger where her ring had been for three years. "Do you love her?"

    Kyp hesitated, then said, "Yes. I love her."

    "Good." She pulled her hand from under his and wrapped her fingers tight around the deep red ceramic of her mug. She had the thought that it looked like blood. "Good. Spouses should love each other."

    He was almost afraid to ask. "Did Jag not love you?"

    "I thought he did," Jaina laughed bitterly. "I guess . . . he didn't love me enough."

    "Enough for what?"

    "To make up for my not loving him." She tucked a strand of dark hair behind her ear. "You were right. You never said it aloud, but you were right. He was wrong for me."

    I can't let you see
    What you mean to me
    When my hands are tied
    And my heart's not free
    We're not meant to be


    Kyp had yearned to hear her say those words, but not when it was too late. "Jaina . . ."

    "Is she a Jedi?" Jaina asked suddenly, cutting him off.

    "I . . . No. She's not. She's . . . Elsha's an aide to Chief of State Omas."

    "Oh.
  2. Kyp_Jaina_Jag Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 15, 2002
    star 2
    And I thought I could get a happy ending....sad, but beautiful.

    Wow, I haven't heard that song in forever.

    *cries*
  3. JainaDurron Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 8, 2002
    star 4
    AIEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!! *growls* Okay it was a good ficlet but.... :_| *sniff* Poor Kyp and Poor Jaina.

    But also poor Elsha and Jailyn. It can't be easy for Kyp to stay with a woman he feels obligated to and is connected to due to their son, when the love of his life is free to be with him now. And the poor baby!

    Another sequel maybe? :D

    ~~Jilly
  4. Dantana Skywalker Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Apr 7, 2002
    star 5
    Hmm. Possibly . . .

    Thing is, I don't want to force a happy ending. I just wrote this one 'cause I happened to be thinking of writing a sequel and I stumbled across the song.

    IF I find a suitable song, I'll write another sequel.


    Dana
  5. Jaina_Solo_Durron Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 3, 2002
    star 4
    Hmmmm...I really don't know what to think of this one...twas excellent, Dana, as usual...but had a twist in it I wasn't expecting :D always good but...great stuff, sweetie!

    -JSD
  6. Dantana Skywalker Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Apr 7, 2002
    star 5
  7. Jedi_Jaina_Durron Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 1, 2001
    star 5
    Reminds me of Doctor Zhivago. Though I like Lara better than Jaina. ;)

    That was rather tragic, but I'm glad he made the choice he did in the end. *sigh*

  8. Trickster_Jaina_Fel Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 3, 2002
    star 5
    i think that was my favourite vignette ever....simply beautiful, Dana. That one just packed a punch :eek: :(

    ~TJF
  9. Mirax-Jade Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 7, 2003
    star 4
    *sniff* Here I was having a good day, and I see a ficlet by Dana! And it's a SEQUEL...and I think its gonna be all aww...


    *sniff*

    I was wrong.

    But it was very good. I want nice mush now...


    *goes in search of it*
  10. Princess1 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 3, 2001
    star 4
    that was beautiful and sad and horrorable and awful and happy and heartbreaking all at the same time!

    Which is the way it should be. :p

    Great job! :D

    But I really wish kyp and Jaina could be together. :(

    But you are also right, a forced happy ending isn't the way to go in a story at all.
  11. EBrooklynW Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 11, 2003
    star 1
    K Dana, I'm going to say this one more time : HAPPY ENDINGS.

    You don't write enought happy endings. I don't care if you want to count them up. HAPPY ENDINGS

    Oh and STUPID KYPPIE!!! your hand is better than the possibility of having a kid with a woman, but nooooo, that just doesn't make you feel masculine. you had to knock up the woman while you're WAITING for Jaina.

    Dumb Kyppie
    Stupid Jaina

    Grrrr... Sequal and make it HAPPY!!!
  12. Elfsheen Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 9, 2003
    star 5
    Okay...this needs another sequel 8-}

    Wow. Poor Kyp...what is it with men and honour and... nevermind.

    Great story!
  13. JediMasterKobe Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 10, 2003
    star 4
    Ooooh. Kyp's stuck in between the proverbial rock and a hard place. What will he follow, his heart or his mind?
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