Beyond Fidelis: Sorry (K/J) -- Chapter 9 up 16 May! (Completed!)

Interesting start, Dana.

~~Jilly

Jilly - Thanks. I hope sewing isn't making you go insane.


Dana

Thanks for the feedback, guys.


--Chapter Four--

But I would not sleep
In this bed of lies
So toss me out and turn in
And there'll be no rest
For these tired eyes
I'm marking it down to learning
I'm marking it down to learning
'Cause I can

-- Matchbox Twenty, "Bed Of Lies"

She felt the eyes on her long before she looked up from the four-year-old she was assisting. She tried to ignore them, but finally looked up when a little boy approached her. She didn't recognise him, and figured he must be the new student her uncle had told her about two days ago.

She smiled at him, taking in the large green eyes and mop of black curls. He was one of the cutest little things she'd ever seen. "Hello, you must be new! I'm Jaina. What's your name?"

"Jailyn," he said.

She started, and her eyes flew to the figure standing in the doorway. Black hair, green eyes . . . a few more streaks of silver in the hair, a few more lines around the eyes. But it was him.

Jaina knew she was staring, but couldn't stop. Her heart was pounding, and she couldn't breathe. He couldn't be.

"For once, Kyp, tell me the truth."

"I can't . . . I can't say what you want me to."

Kyp walked forward, and with every step, Jaina felt her body heat rise. She could still remember, with crystal clarity, what his touch had felt like.

"This is my daddy," Jailyn told her, grasping at his father's hand.

Jaina swallowed. "Master Durron."

"Mistress Solo."

"This is your son?"

Kyp's eyes never left hers. "Jailyn, yes. He's three, and he's had some training."

"Uh . . . That's good. Yes, very good. I'll, uh, see where he's at, and, um . . ." Sith, she sounded like an idiot!

Jaina bit her lip. Why was he here? Force, why was he here? And where was Elsha?

"We need to talk," he said, as if sensing her thoughts. Maybe he was.

Jaina met his gaze, and said, "I believe we said all we had to say two years ago. Other than some information on your son's previous training, that's all I need to know."

----------

He tracked her down after the evening meal. She was in the classroom used for the small children, tinkering with something mechanical on her desk.

"I see you still play with toys."

Jaina jerked, tossing her hydrospanner. Kyp caught it easily and set it on the desk.

"What are you doing here?" she demanded.

"Kyp . . . Leave her. Please."

"I can't do that, Jaina."

"I brought my son to start his training." His eyes, more brown than green at the moment, dared her to contradict him.

"Fine. You did that. Go away." She reached for the hydrospanner.

It slid across the desk, just out of her reach. She stretched, and it slid another inch.

Jaina sat back, glaring at him. "As I said earlier, Durron, you've heard everything I have to say."

He leaned forward and put his elbows on the desk. "Maybe. But you haven't heard what I have to say."

She snorted. "Like what?"

"I've left Elsha."

The child's toy she'd been repairing fell to the desk with a clatter. Flustered, she picked it back up. Keeping her eyes resolutely on the toy, she said, "I thought you had too much invested in it. Isn't that what you told me?"

"I've said a lot of stupid things in my life," he admitted. "And I won't deny I said that."

She stopped, and set the toy down. "What do you want, Kyp?"

He reached across the desk and placed his hand on hers, like he'd done on a night nearly three years before, when he'd told her he couldn't love her.

"I want to apologise. I owe a lot of apologies to a lot of people. But none more than to you, to Elsha, and to Jailyn. I'm sorry for the things I said. I'm sorry for the way I left you. I'm sorry that I put you down by having an affair with you while I was married to another woman. That wasn't fair to you, and it wasn't fair to Elsha."

His fingers squeezed, then released her. "I've been the galaxy's biggest Hutt. Greedy, stupid, and covered in slime."

Jaina smiled faintly at that image.

Kyp tilted his head, looking />

Ok, I was wrong, that was the last post you showed me.

I liked the interaction, and how Kyp likes playing with Jaina, even just a little by pulling the hyrdospanner out of her reach.

~EBW

EBW - Ok, I was wrong, that was the last post you showed me.

Yeah . . . considering that it was the last thing I'd written until three days ago . . .

I liked the interaction, and how Kyp likes playing with Jaina, even just a little by pulling the hyrdospanner out of her reach.

Sadistic, idn't he? I love putting little interactions like that in my work. I believe in details like that. I like characterisation.


Dana

He tracked her down after the evening meal. She was in the classroom used for the small children, tinkering with something mechanical on her desk.

"I see you still play with toys."

Jaina jerked, tossing her hydrospanner. Kyp caught it easily and set it on the desk.

Ooh, I loved it. Can't wait for more interaction between Jaina/Kyp and Jaina/Jailyn!!

-Saber

SaberBlade - Ooh, I loved it. Can't wait for more interaction between Jaina/Kyp and Jaina/Jailyn!!

That will be coming soon. I'm glad you liked it.


Dana

Ohhh things are def looking up!

I can't imagine why Elsha suddenly changed her mind

Postie soon?

WOOHOO!! I've got to start checking these stories more often! I don't want to miss 2 posts again! Loved how Kyp played with Jaina with the hydrospanner there. Jailyn's so sweet.. I just want to hug him. Can't wait for more!

~^~ Tahiri ~^~

Elfsheen - Ohhh things are def looking up!

For the present . . .

I can't imagine why Elsha suddenly changed her mind

Good question. Which will be answered.

Postie soon?

Yep.


Babi_Tahiri - WOOHOO!! I've got to start checking these stories more often! I don't want to miss 2 posts again! Loved how Kyp played with Jaina with the hydrospanner there. Jailyn's so sweet.. I just want to hug him. Can't wait for more!

Well, I screwed up and forgot to change the subject line for chapter 3 . .. so that's partially my fault.


Dana

And here's more!


--Chapter Five--

Don't wanna be the one
Who turns the whole thing over
I don't wanna be somewhere
Where I just don't belong
Well, it's not enough
Just to be sorry
Don't you know I feel
The darkness closing in

-- Matchbox Twenty, "Bed Of Lies"

She didn't want to love him. Loving him had caused her more pain and loss in the last decade than she could recall experiencing during the whole war, not including the loss of her brother.

There had been times when she'd tried not to love him. During the war, when she'd convinced herself that she didn't. During her marriage to Jag, when he'd punished her for loving another, no matter that she was completely faithful to him. When she'd found Kyp was married, she'd tried in vain to hate him.

When they'd become lovers, even though she knew it was wrong, it had been the happiest time she'd had since the day she'd married Jag. And then Kyp had left her, and gone back to Elsha.

She'd tried then. Tried to hate him, to not love him. Every morning, she'd resolve not to think of him. Every night, she'd vow not to dream of him. And failed every time.

She woke, even now, reaching for him, only to find herself alone, and remember that he wasn't there. He wasn't hers.

That was something she struggled with, as she taught his son. He and Elsha were separated now. He no longer wore his ring. But she was afraid. Afraid to let him in . . . and afraid to lose him again.

Her brain told her that he wasn't worth it. But her heart didn't listen to her head. She knew it wasn't worth the aggravations, the heartache, but in the end, she didn't care.

She loved him, and that was that.

The real question was whether she could open herself to him again, and take him back. He hadn't said that's what he wanted. In fact, he was very polite with her, making no advances, though she felt his eyes on her constantly.

She didn't know what bothered her more, his constant watchfulness, or his lack of pursuit.

Jailyn was an absolute delight. He was eager to learn new things, and he had a flippant attitude that matched his father's. Mercifully, Jaina could see nothing of the child's mother in him. Kyp's former wife was enough of a presence in their lives.

Deciding further attempts at sleep were useless, Jaina slid out of bed, wrapping an ice-blue silk robe around herself. She padded to the window. Dawn was hours off. Maybe she would slip down to the kitchens . . .

Jaina was headed back up the stairs to her quarters when she nearly ran into someone coming down the stairs. She'd been watching her feet, to keep from tripping on her robe, and hadn't seen them.

She looked up, knowing before she did that it was Kyp. His presence in the Force was as familiar to her, if not more, as those of her family. and even without the Force, she would have known.

He smelled exactly the same.

Every nerve in her body leapt to attention, a sudden thrum that reminded her sharply of an X-wing during power-up. Her breath catching, Jaina flattened herself against the wall, her free hand gripping the banister, the other nearly dropping the chocolate cake she carried.

Kyp stared down at her for a moment, then stepped aside to let her pass. Jaina looked at him for a moment, then was past him in a blink, her bare feet almost soundless.

He looked at his shaking hands. He hadn't even realised he'd been reaching for her.

----------

The next morning, Jaina greeted her class with a cheerfulness she didn't really feel. She told them that they were going to spend the morning outside. She figured there would be enough out there for them to study that she would be occupied enough to keep her thoughts off Kyp.

There was a small, walled area behind the academy where she took the children occasionally. It was a safe, enclosed place, where nothing dangerous lurked. The class loved it, especially Jailyn. Today, her brother Jacen was with her. It was a rare treat to see her brother, since he normally lived on Hapes.

Jaina was showing her niece, Tarina,/>

Oh no [face_shocked] Poor kid! Evil cliffy, but a perfect opportunity

Awwww poor Jailyn! He'll be alright, right? Was it a spider-like creature that hurt him? I always knew that spiders and spider-like creatures were evil. LOL! Great update! Can't wait for more!

~^~ Tahiri ~^~

Elfsheen - Oh no Poor kid! Evil cliffy, but a perfect opportunity

Yes, yes, evil cliffie . . . I hear that an awful lot . . .


Babi_Tahiri - Awwww poor Jailyn! He'll be alright, right? Was it a spider-like creature that hurt him? I always knew that spiders and spider-like creatures were evil. LOL! Great update! Can't wait for more!

Yes, it was a spider-ish creature. Only these ones have ten legs, not eight. Well, I never say that in the 'fic, but, hey . . .


Dana

He looked at his shaking hands. He hadn't even realised he'd been reaching for her.

I love that line

Poor Jailyn I hope the kid's okay!

~TJF

Oh my goddess, I missed three posts! I guess that's what happens when you work a 12 hour night shift, then your internet goes down just about the time you're ready to use it again...grrr...

All of the posts were good. I like how you described their awkwardness when Kyp returned, and how Jaina misses him, yet is afraid to take him back.

And the picture I have in my head of Jailyn is so incredibly cute. Poor boy - stupid spider-thingy -

*waves hand* Jailyn will be fine...

~Abby~

He looked at his shaking hands. He hadn't even realised he'd been reaching for her.

Great line, beautiful line. Absolutely perfect for Kyp and the relationship.

Yes, evil cliffie. Poor kid! Make it all better soon?

-Saber

Trickster_Jaina_Fel - He looked at his shaking hands. He hadn't even realised he'd been reaching for her.

I love that line

Me, too.

Poor Jailyn I hope the kid's okay!

C'mon, I'm not a child-killer!


Abby - Oh my goddess, I missed three posts! I guess that's what happens when you work a 12 hour night shift, then your internet goes down just about the time you're ready to use it again...grrr...

I've had that happen. It's very frustrating.

All of the posts were good. I like how you described their awkwardness when Kyp returned, and how Jaina misses him, yet is afraid to take him back.

And it's not over yet!

And the picture I have in my head of Jailyn is so incredibly cute. Poor boy - stupid spider-thingy -

He'd better be cute! He's Mini-Kyp!

*waves hand* Jailyn will be fine...

We'll see . . .


SaberBlade - He looked at his shaking hands. He hadn't even realised he'd been reaching for her.

Great line, beautiful line. Absolutely perfect for Kyp and the relationship.

I didn't think that line was going to be so popular!

Yes, evil cliffie. Poor kid! Make it all better soon?

*sigh* Okay.


Dana

I just couldn't leave that cliffhanger . . .


--Chapter Six--

I tried to be more than me
And I gave until it all went away
And we're only surrendered
To the worst part, yeah
Of these winters that we've made

-- Matchbox Twenty, "Bed Of Lies"

Kyp burst into the infirmary, shouting with panic, as they were stablising Jailyn. His green eyes fixed on his son. He took three steps and collapsed, all the strength leaving his legs. "Jailyn!"

Jaina was there, pulling him up and leading him to a chair by the bed. Jailyn was still unconscious. Kyp wrapped his fingers around his son's small hand.

"He's all right," Jaina said. "We've got him stablised and Cilghal's given him something to counteract the poison."

"What happened?" he asked, not looking up at her.

"Jacen says it was a tarantella," Jaina said. "Some of the boys had caught one and were playing with it. It bit Jailyn."

His eyes, unseeing, filled with unshed tears, fixed on her. "How could you let them do that? How could you be so irresponsible?"

She jerked as if struck. Stammering, feeling her face grow hot, Jaina turned and stumbled from the room.

Kyp caught up with her a short way down the hall.

"How could you say that?" she demanded. "I have ten children to look after, by myself! I can't keep an eye on every single one of them every single moment! How dare you call me irresponsible for that?"

He pulled her to him. She struggled in his arms, but he wouldn't let her go. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. I just . . . I can't lost him."

They were both crying now. Kyp sat on the floor, holding her; Jaina had stopped fighting and was sobbing.

Kyp wasn't even really aware that he was holding her again. He was absorbed in a litany, a chant against the possible loss of his child. "I can't lose him. I can't. He's all I have."

----------

The antidote Cilghal had given the toddler worked miracles. By the next morning, Jailyn was off the respirator and the swelling had begun to recede. Kyp stayed with him, not sleeping, until Cilghal told him he was either to retire willingly, or she'd give him something to make him sleep.

Reluctantly, Kyp left the infirmary, wearily making his way up through the corridors to his room. He found Jaina outside, looking nervous.

"Kyp-" she began.

He held up a hand. "Jaina . . . I'm sorry for what I said yesterday. I didn't mean it. You are far from irresponsible. I was afraid for my son and I spoke out of fear."

Her brown eyes flicked from his face to her hands. "Still . . . I should have been watching more carefully."

"Jacen was there, wasn't he?"

"Yes, but . . . at the moment in question, he was attempting to keep one of the older boys from trying to climb a tree."

He reached out to her, then thought better of it and let his hand fall to his side. "It's not your fault," he repeated. "These things happen. I've just . . . never experienced one until now."

"I know you love him," she whispered.

"I do," he agreed. "He's one of the two things that matter the most to me in this galaxy."

Her eyes, the colour of an expensive Corellian ale, lifted finally. They were full of question, but she didn't speak.

"You," he told her quietly. "You're the other. I know you hate me, and I know I deserve it. But I still care."

He went past her into his room and the door closed.

"But I don't," Jaina whispered. "I don't hate you."

----------

For the next week, Jaina kept the children inside. Jailyn came back two days after his injury and proudly showed the other kids the bandage on his arm. He also took to stomping the carpeted floor and shouting, "Bug bad!"

Jaina was forced to take him aside one afternoon. "Come sit with me, Jai. Let's colour a picture."

Immediately, the child chose a black wax stick and began scribbling furiously on the sheet of flimsi Jaina had placed in front of him. "Bug bad!" he said.

She grabbed his hand. "Hey. Jailyn, stop. Talk to me for a minute."

"No!" He turned to face away from her.

Jaina knelt on the floor n/>

Aw, poor Jaina... she and Kyp just seem to keep missing each other. Ships passing in the night, and all that. I liked Jailyn though, very kid-ish. I like seeing how he looks up to both his dad and to Jaina.

And the last line... Well done.

-Saber

Saber - Aw, poor Jaina... she and Kyp just seem to keep missing each other. Ships passing in the night, and all that.

Yeah . . . kinda. Wasn't what I was thinking, but . . . it works.

I liked Jailyn though, very kid-ish. I like seeing how he looks up to both his dad and to Jaina.

Having spent two years working in a preschool with 3-6 year olds . . . I know how they work inside and out.

And the last line... Well done.

Thank you. But, really, I just write the line that pops into my head, I don't sit and think, "How could this line be better?"


Dana

Oh wow, you posted again!

And I only missed this one by a couple of hours instead of days.

Yay, me likes...and it looks like Kyppie and Jaya are getting closer to working things out...YAY.

I agree with Saber about the last line...*sniff*



~Abby~

Abby - Oh wow, you posted again!

Yeah, I was trying to keep it to one a day, but I caved on that one. Now I have to hurry and finish chapter 7 for posting tomorrow.

And I only missed this one by a couple of hours instead of days.

That's because your internet's working now!

Yay, me likes...and it looks like Kyppie and Jaya are getting closer to working things out...YAY.

Yeah, well, you know me. After three where it was all angsty and crap . . . I need a happy ending!

I agree with Saber about the last line...*sniff*

Thanks.

Dana

Awww, I'm glad he's okay. That was sweet!

Oh,good story!! Where's my popcorn?