Beyond Fidelis: What If (K/J angst songfic)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Dantana Skywalker, Nov 11, 2003.

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  1. Dantana Skywalker Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Apr 7, 2002
    star 5
    Look! Look! New viggie by yours truly!!


    Title: Fidelis: What If
    Author(s): DantanaSkywalker
    Timeframe: post-NJO
    Characters: Jaina Solo, Kyp Durorn
    Genre: songfic, vignette
    Keywords: K/J, Kyp, Jaina
    Summary: Jaina reflects on a "what if".
    Notes: Song is "What If" by Kate Winslet.


    She stood off to one side, quietly watching the bustle of the newly arrived visitors to Ossus. The Jedi Council had come to the academy, where Jaina was teaching, so they could conduct Jedi-only business without having to deal with Chief of State Cal Omas, or his "Advisory Council".

    But it wasn't the sight of her uncle that had her transfixed, as he lifted six-year-old Ben Skywalker in his arms.

    It was the man who stood beside him, black, wavy hair just brushing his chin, straying into hazel eyes that one moment were brown, the next green.

    Here I stand alone
    With this weight upon my heart
    And it will not go away


    She flashed back to what seemed like a million years ago, but was really just a handful, to the last time she'd seen him, before she'd made a mess of her life.

    In my head I keep on looking back
    Right back to the start
    Wondering what it was
    That made you change


    He was different now. She'd seen him go through many changes, from angry and sullen to comfortable and even playful. But this was . . . different.

    He looked up, saw her, and his eyes were green shards of ice.

    Well I tried but I had to draw the line
    And still this question keeps on spinning in my mind


    Jaina stared at him for long moments in silence, wondering.

    What if I had never let you go
    Would you be the man I used to know
    If I'd stayed
    If you'd tried
    If we could only turn back time
    But I guess we'll never know


    She'd thought she'd known what she was doing, when she'd left three years before for Csilla. It had seemed right. The war had been over for a year, and she'd had the crazy thought that she would be happy making a more permanent commitment to Jag. Even with her doubts, she'd accepted his proposal.

    They'd married. At the age of 23, she'd left everything she'd known and gone with her new husband to Chiss space. But she hadn't been happy. She'd felt out of place there, amongst the Chiss, even as much as the Fels had tried to make her feel accepted. She was still close with Syal, even now . . .

    Many roads to take
    Some to joy, some to heartache
    Anyone can lose their way


    Jaina hadn't spoken to Kyp since the day she'd married Jag. She could still remember the grief he'd tried to hide. He'd tried to be happy for her . . . but he hadn't tried to stop her.

    He'd congratulated her, wished her well . . . and she'd walked away.

    She'd regretted it ever since.

    And if I said that we could turn it back
    Right back to the start
    Would you take the chance
    And make the change


    This was the second time she'd seen him since returning to Alliance space.

    Three long, terrible years had passed. She'd come back, thinking stupidly that he would welcome her with open arms.

    She'd come back expecting to pick up where they'd left off, forgetting that where they'd left off was her choosing another.

    Do you think how it would have been sometimes
    Do you pray that I'd never left your side


    She'd gone straight to Denon to find him, but when she'd done so, knocking at his door in the early hours of the morning . . . He'd looked straight through her, and then closed the door.

    Jaina had accepted her uncle's request for her to teach at the academy, and had been here ever since.

    What if I had never let you go
    Would you be the man I used to know
    If I'd stayed
    If you'd tried
    If we could only turn back time
    But I guess we'll never know


    She couldn't help wondering if Kyp would be this cold to her if she'd stayed, if she hadn't chosen Jag.

    Would he still be the Kyp she'd known?

    If only we could turn the hands of time
    If I could take it back would you still be mine


    He'd been hers once, eve
  2. Kyp_Jaina_Jag Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 15, 2002
    star 2
    *gapes*

    Did DANA just write a story where Jaina and Kyp don't end up together!? The galaxy is ending...

    8-}

    Wonderful story...as angsty as it was.
  3. Dantana Skywalker Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Apr 7, 2002
    star 5
    MWAAHAHAHA!!!







    Thanks.

    Dana
  4. PadmeLeiaJaina Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 23, 2002
    star 6
    *Snicker snicker* you still find a way to make Jag out to be evil and nasty.

    Even though K/J aren't together- you're still the Dantana we all know :p
  5. Dantana Skywalker Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Apr 7, 2002
    star 5
    Heh heh heh!


    I really don't know where this one came from, I was just listening to "What If" a little over an hour ago, had the idea pop into my head, and wrote it.


    Dana
  6. Dantana Skywalker Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Apr 7, 2002
    star 5
    Shamelessly upping.

    Kyppie must be punished. How should I do that?


    Dana
  7. Mirax-Jade Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 7, 2003
    star 4
    OMG DANA LIVES!!!!!!!


    And good story...love how you made Jag evil...but made me angry that Kyp's all...err...but Jaina's even more errr...


    ANYWAYS! Good Story!
  8. Fireyforce Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 23, 2003
    star 4
    Very good story Dantana, it really kind of puts Jaina in her place. Very good! One must live with the choices one makes even if it isn't the right one.

    fireyforce
  9. JainaDurron Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 8, 2002
    star 4
    Great ficlet Dana. You know, we did like complete opposites. I wrote a happy after TUF ficlet, and you wrote a heart wrenching one. Poor Kyp, and also Poor Jaina. Her choices were not good at all and she realizes it, but it's far too late. (Is it?)

    ~~Jilly
  10. Deneveon Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 6, 2002
    star 4
    KYP IS EVUL!!

    And I absolutely loved it. :D

    Hee hee. Nice one.

    I'm still kinda surprised that YOU wrote that. I mean, well, yeah. I mean, well... yeah. Like someone said earlier, it's the end of the world as we know it. :p

    Or maybe not. *shrug*

    Yes, I'm rambling, but what the heck. I luffed it. Jaina deserved it, the oaf.

    --Den
  11. Dantana Skywalker Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Apr 7, 2002
    star 5
    Well . . .

    Agent_Jaid is also using the song in a 'fic of hers, which I just learned she's been working on. Great minds think alike, I guess.

    Dana
  12. Jez_3-14159265358979 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 13, 2001
    star 4
    Dantana, you still surprise us with each story.

    Jez
  13. Dantana Skywalker Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Apr 7, 2002
    star 5
    Heh heh, that's the intent. :D

    Dana
  14. Jaina_Solo_Durron Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 3, 2002
    star 4
    Nooooooooooo! Dana, what have you done? j/k

    Hmmm...angsty, definitely up to your usual high standards...me likes!

    :D

    -JSD
  15. MiaTieska Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 3, 2003
    star 4
  16. Dantana Skywalker Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Apr 7, 2002
    star 5
    Yes, yes, I'm evil, I know. *bows*

    Dana
  17. Elfsheen Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 9, 2003
    star 5
    Evil, but good. Mesa liked even if everyone these days tends to use the songs I want to use 8-} This must have been painful to write ;)
  18. Dantana Skywalker Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Apr 7, 2002
    star 5
    Not really. It just kinda popped out, no pain involved.

    A LOT of people have been telling me that I wrecked their 'fic 'cause I used the song they were gonna use.

    Dana
  19. Dantana Skywalker Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Apr 7, 2002
    star 5
    I just put the sequel up. It's called "Lies".


    Dana
  20. Trickster_Jaina_Fel Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 3, 2002
    star 5
    great job, i....

    *realizes who wrote it*

    Dana? you feeling alright?? :eek: ?[face_plain]

    :p

    anyway, excellent story, so sad :(

    ~TJF
  21. Princess1 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 3, 2001
    star 4
    Oh. My. Gosh. That was amazing. Amazingly well written and amazingly the saddest thing I have ever read in my life OMG, its worse then kyp dieing or something sooooo sad! :(

    But I enjoyed reading it all the same! :D
  22. JediMasterKobe Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 10, 2003
    star 4
    A bit of advice for Miss Solo...

    You DON'T mess with the Kyp-ster. ;)
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