Challenge Fifty Titles in Search of a Story | We have a winner! Congrats to divapilot :)

I have no idea Well, actually I do have some ideas, but I'm not happy with them. My basic premise is that a scientist tries to clone someone and ends up creating a monster instead. That could happen from anywhere in the distant past to anywhere in the far future, inside or outside the Canon/Legends continuity and with pretty much any characters, so just throw at me anything you've got please

 

Chyntuck - when I heard of your idea a few things occurred to me.

1. The flash-learning thing which I believe is mentioned in the EU novels - that's what made C'Baoth unstable. What if that happens to someone who is a clone of a soldier or of a Jedi? Timeframe could be anytime but basically when they're first using the technology. So the person is mentally unstable and this causes paranoid and/or irrational thinking.

2. The cloning experiment goes wrong in that the memories of who or what this person should know about themselves is fragmented. Like they're a soldier but there are huge gaps in their military strategy knowledge. Or if they should have memories of being a particular person, like they did with Palps and with Luke, they don't remember their childhood so everyone says wait a minute. What's up with this? So basically the person can't "Pass" as the original.

This second thing is if they want to not make an "army" of troopers but just one believable copy /facsimile of a particular person for whatever reason/scheme. Perhaps a parent wants a clone of the child they lost or a husband/wife wants their lifemate back. Hmmm.

3. The aging thing that is problematic for the clones in the Republic. How thhat creates problems and how to reverse it. This could take place during the Clone Wars and would really be a problem when your soldiers need to be fit and full of stamina like men in their prime and they're starting to get physically unfit for battle.

(laloga had a marvelous subplot of this in her fic "Worth Fighting For". But it could definitely be the main plot.

 

Chyntuck, whose POV are you thinking of? Would it be the clone him/herself? Would it be the people who created the clone? or the original template person? Does the clone know he/she is a clone? Maybe they thought they were a "normal" person, got married, etc. and then discovered that they are a duplicate of someone else - you could work the advanced aging into that.

This has a Blade Runner feel to it.

 

You're amazing. I read the ideas proposed by Nyota's Heart, invoked the potato peeling muse, and now that divapilot said "Blade Runner" I have a story. Thanks both! I'm all sorted out.

 

Am I allowed to post the first 200 words of my story in here and see what you guys think?

 

s_heffley I think that should be fine given the workshop nature of this thread, but let's wait for mavjade or Briannakin to chime in, just to be on the safe side

 

Yeah, given that this is a 'free week', I don't have any issues with it.

 

Ava woke at her home in Rivendell. The battle of last night had left her devastated. She and her fellow soldiers of Rivendell had beaten back the evil Sauron that had laid siege to the city, and it had taken all they had. With all the war she had been put through during this war with Sauron, she was always happy to have that temporary feeling of peace after a big battle. She knew, however, that that sense of peace never lasted very long. To preserve the sense, she liked to sit out on her porch in the morning and enjoy the sights and sounds of Rivendell. This is what she was doing when she saw the messenger approach her.

“Message from Lord Elrond of Rivendell,” Said the messenger as he reached the porch.

“Lord Elrond? What would he need of me?” Ava asked, confused. She had always considered herself important, but only as a piece of the army as a whole. If every soldier thought of themselves as just pawns, then the whole army would never be able to function.

“You showed great promise in last night's battle against Sauron. Lord Elrond wishes to speak to you.” The messenger responded.

“About what?”

“He did not say.”

“Tell him I will be there,” Ava said, like she could have actually refused a request from the Lord of Rivendell.

“Right away, miss” The messenger said, and he ran back the way he had come.

 

s_heffley - Seriously?! You had me at Rivendell! I cannot wait to read this! This looks great, with epic potential because it's Tolkien. There is a lot of room to create OCs and situations within the looong ages of Middle-Earth

 

Oh wow. I didn't think someone would like it that much. But anyway, it's just the first 200 words. I've never been great at writing action, and I've written none yet so... I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

 

I wish I knew more about Tolkien to offer some feedback. I guess (and I understand you probably wanted to limit the word count you posted here out of consideration for others) I would add more sense descriptions. What are the sights and sounds of Rivendell? (Keep in mind, I’m a LOTR idiot here). But it's a really interesting start and a nice jump right into where (I'm assuming) source material ends and your story starts



The following is just me complaining and trying to get my thoughts typed out (which I find helps me). Basically, my story’s main plot is REALLY THIN, meaning the logic is kinda at a really simple level. I don’t necessarily have ‘plot holes’, but someone with any knowledge could easily poke holes all up in my plot. I was just getting frustrated this evening so I just closed it and asked “okay, if I were to start completely over with this title, what else could I do?” AND I GOT BIT WITH AN IDEA.

Now, I originally joined this challenge to do something I don’t normally write (IE: Action with a hint of mystery and no traces of Romance) because I am no stranger to serialized long pics and my first idea was totally something I had never tried. This new plot bunny, originally a L/M idea, but I was thinking I could adapt it to any ‘ship I haven’t written, or written much of (IE: Hera/Kanan or pretty much any romantic coupling), but it is still an angsty, romance thing (more of the first), something I normally do.

So, I guess my question would be, would it ‘cheap’ if I discarded my first plan, and went with something I am no stranger to.

 

Ooh, I like this. I love the idea of a story that tells about the Elves' war against Sauron

A small comment: You have a few unnecessary repetitions in the first few lines, e.g. the word "Rivendell" appears four times. While it's important to "hammer in" the location of the opening scene for the reader, I think you'd be better off eliminating those and replacing one of them with a bit of description that tells us about the place and most importantly about your character. Example:

Ava woke at her home in Rivendell -- perhaps say something more about the house here, e.g. where it's located in the city to give us an idea about Ava's social status or whatever you would like to emphasise. The battle of last night had left her devastated. She and her fellow soldiers of Rivendell had beaten back the evil Sauron that had laid siege to the secret Elvish city, and it had taken all they had. With all the war violence she had been put through during this war with Sauron, she was always happy to have that temporary feeling of peace after a big battle. She knew, however, that that sense of peace never lasted very long. To preserve the sense it, she liked to sit out on her porch in the morning and enjoy the sights and sounds of Rivendell -- insert description of the things she pays attention to, e.g. the waterfall, the birds singing, the rustling of leaves, the colour of the houses in the early morning light, etc; perhaps also note here that no footsteps can be heard to allude to the Elves' magical nature. This is what she was doing when she saw the messenger approach her.​

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These are just random suggestions of course, and this being fanfic you don't really need to go in too much detail about the setting since it's assumed that the reader is already familiar with this universe, but I think that by adding small bits and pieces here and there you can say more about your OC without looking like you're describing her, you know what I mean?

Edit 1: Ninja'ed by Bri.

Edit 2:

No it wouldn't. We're doing this for fun, remember? Fun is never cheap.

 

I is ninja!!!

Anyways, thanks. If I do it, I'll certainly go with a set of characters I haven't written much about (and the idea of a Hera/Kanan fic is something I've been meaning to do, though it would mean catching up and trying to deal with writing within Rebels as the season comes out). However, if I switch, it would mean discarding nearly 4000 words (which is something I didn't want to brag about since it clearly did not work out for me) of half decent stuff (with the exception of the plot). But starting anew now might save me so much frustration in a month.

 

Briannakin - Tycho and Winter - Iella/Wedge would also fall into that not done enough so would love to read more about thing without all that needed research.

s_heffley - great tips from Chyntuck. I find ways around writing strict action by descriptions in dialogue or flashbacks after the events, in that the main characters reflect and/or introspect about what happened - with the rationale that they now have breathing space to react whereas before they were too busy literally fighting off an enemy.

 

Briannakin - Go for it. I'm about to dump close to 2000 words because it aint' working. But I have a better idea.
And if you think you wrote some good stuff, then don't discard it completely; park it in the lot out back. You may come back to it with a new idea for it late. No writing is ever wasted.

s_heffley - you have some grammar issues with your dialogue tags. (I can't help it! ) for example:
“Message from Lord Elrond of Rivendell,” Said the messenger as he reached the porch.
should be
“Message from Lord Elrond of Rivendell,” said the messenger as he reached the porch. "Said the messenger as he reached the porch" is not a new sentence but a continuation of a longer one.

My advice to you would be to show me how Ava reacts rather than telling me how she reacts. For example, let's just look at this:
The battle of last night had left her devastated.
ok, what does that mean? I'm devastated when the last piece of leftover pizza's gone. What does "devastated" mean? Emotionally? Physically? Spiritually? Is she aching with fresh bruises, her garment soiled with dirt and the enemy's blood? Is she seeing flashes of her comrades, their faces set with steely resolve as they advanced into the fray? Is she wondering how much more this country can take when the best of them lay mangled on the hillsides - how many children will lose their parents to this unrelenting violence?
Get your reader inside her head. Is she surprised by the messenger? Fearful of the news he might bring?

What is her body language telling us? What is she doing with her hands? Those are often ways to indicate emotion without describing it.

A little nit-picky thing. Your first sentence says she awoke at her home, which implies she is in a bed. Then at the end of the paragraph she is sitting on her porch. So, assuming she doesn't sleep on her porch, you have to move her to that place. Or just don't start with her awaking, just indicate that she was chilling on her porch, watching all the gorgeous Rivendell scenery or whatever. (That could make a nice contrast to the devastation of war, btw.)

 

Oh, my. I haven't written a jot of a syllable yet and divapilot - wow! This will help me too. Make my narrative umphier. Some folks are just too brill.

 

Thanks. And yes. It's going to go in the "unfinished fics" file to be hopefully read again in months or years and maybe I'll get hit with some brilliant idea.


I got hit with an idea last night as I was laying in bed and I think it's the one I am going to go with. It will be a nice balance between some new challenges for me, and some things I am used to and like. It's an Anakin Skywalker fic set in EP III. I've written Anakin, but usually only as a side or minor character, and never in this time period. So that will present a personal change for me. Plus I'm starting off with some epic lightsaber action and there is room for more action later on in the fic. However, it is character driven, which is what I like, not plot driven, which I think was my problem with my original idea.

 

I always mess up dialogue. I know that it's a continuation, but I just capitalize it out of habit. Thanks for all the tips though. And thanks to everyone else who gave tips as well.

 

s_heffley That sounds like a great start to a story! My husband would be the best person to give you concrit on this, since he's a LOTR nut! Your "pawn" discussion is an interesting one when considering a military-esque organization, but I like where you're going with this! I've never really seen anything about female elves, though I would imagine both male and females fight. I'd say, just do your research and press on! divapilot always has great advice!!!

 

Well, it's already Friday here and I have a long day tomorrow, so I'm going to update this thread straight away. No wrap-up for week 5, obviously -- hopefully everyone is more or less sorted out by now; if not, you can of course continue posting your questions and there will be another free discussion week at the end of this month.

In the meantime, remember that there are lots of useful threads on just about any topic you can think of listed in the Fanfic Resource Index. Here's a reminder of those we tend to use most commonly:

Fanfic Writer’s Desk: Your Place for Writing Discussion, Questions, and Advice – the general, ask-any-question thread
The All New Beta Readers Index – the place to find a beta-reader for your story
Crèche Thread version 3.0 – the place to find someone to help you navigate the fanfic sub-forum, and the boards in general
Fan Fiction Scene Writing Assistance Thread – the place to solicit help for a particularly troublesome snippet of writing
Useful Tools and Resources for Writers – links to dictionaries, encyclopaedias, SW websites, software, word counters and all sorts of useful tools for writing
The Fanon Thread – world-building resources created by fellow users
Plot Bunny Donation and Index Thread v 2.0 – if you still have problems coming up with a plot, you may find ideas here
Earth Words and Their Star Wars Equivalents – a useful thread to avoid 'earthisms' in your SW fics

Unfortunately, there aren't so many resource threads available in the NSWFF sub-forum. If you're writing a NSWFF story, have a look here for resource threads or ask in this thread if someone can help you out.

On to week 6...

 

Before I get to the week 6 topic, I'd really like some feedback from everyone on how this challenge is going. My idea was to have weekly topics so that we can have an on-going discussion (and avoid the thread falling into forum oblivion) but if you think that changing the topic every week is too often (or not often enough ) please let me know. And please let me know everything else you think is wrong -- the topics, the nature of the questions, the order in which I approach things, just everything and anything that comes to your mind. I've run many workshops in my life, but never about writing and never on an internet message board, and this is quite different from a lawyers' discussion on the minutiae of children's rights, so please let me know anything you think I'm doing wrong.

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Week 6: Beginning a story

Beginning a story can be really tricky, because it's the moment when you have to give the reader the essential information they need about your narrative but also grab their attention so they want to keep reading. There's no single good way to start a story, but what does matter is to give the reader a sense of the dynamics of what they're about to read.

This week is a general discussion is about how you proceed to write the beginning of your story. I'm trying to come up with a more focused discussion topic for next week (possibly a comparison of "famous" beginnings and why they work), if you have any ideas of things that you'd like to see discussed please PM me

What do you even consider to be the "beginning" of a story? The first sentence(s)? The first few paragraphs? The first scene, the entire first chapter? Do you like to write a prologue, or do you think of your opening scene/chapter as a prologue? Or would you rather cut to the chase and jump straight into the action? Why?

What type of text to you like to start with? Dialogue? Description? A narrative? A combination thereof? Why? What elements of information do you like to put in there? Stuff about the characters, the plot, the context? Do you start with elements that are key to your story, such as the protagonist or the main plot point, or do you like to start from something peripheral and ease your way into the story later?

What timeframe to you like for your opening scene? Do you like to start with a flashback? Or with the actual starting point of the story, before the flashpoint that sets your plot in motion? Or in medias res, i.e. once the plot is already in motion? Or, again, with a flash-forward to the end of the story, to get the reader to wonder how the characters got there?

How do you proceed to write the beginning? Do you look at stories/books you admire to get ideas on what makes a good beginning? Do you borrow a first sentence to get going, even if it means changing it afterwards? Do you borrow prompts from a dictionary or a friend? Do you wait until you have your whole story planned out before you start writing, or do you jot down a few lines/paragraphs to 'get the feel of it'?

And, lastly, is the beginning the easy or the difficult bit for you? Do you find that the words flow in the beginning, and then you run out of breath? Or are you one of these people who know what they want to write, but you spend hours and hours fretting about the first sentence? How do you overcome any trouble those pesky first words might be giving you?

Resource threads:
How much should you put in a prologue?
First words: the importance of opening lines

 

I really like the weekly topics. It really keeps the challenge in the forefront of my mind so I know I should be working on it. Also, I like seeing what others answer because we can help each other out.

What do you even consider to be the "beginning" of a story?
I think it depends on the story. Usually, when I think of the beginning, I think of the start of the narrative, however long that takes. It can be a few paragraphs, it could be a few chapters, it could be a sentence, though I think that is the least likely for me. As for a prologue, it also depends. I'm going to have a prologue for this because I need to give some back story and maybe some foreshadowing before I start and then the first chapter will pick up awhile later (I think). If it's a story where you just jump right into the story, you might not need one.

What type of text to you like to start with?
Usually I start with narrative, but I've seen some great stories start with dialogue. I usually want to give some idea of where, when and who the story will be about, I don't want the reader to spend too long guessing (unless that's the point of the story, but that's not something I would do very often, it can be very frustrating as a reader) as to what is going on. I think the start of a story usually needs to make the reader understand what's going on and there are many ways that can happen, it's usually narrative for me.

What timeframe do you like for your opening scene?
It certainly depends on the story, but for this I think I'm starting in the past from where the rest of the story will start. It will kinda be in medias res for that part because it will be in the middle of the action, but in the past. That probably doesn't make any sense without context. I've actually thought of two different ways to start and I haven't decided for sure which I want to use, so this may all change.

How do you proceed to write the beginning?
I usually just jump right in and see where it goes. I haven't started writing for this yet because I'm trying to at least get somewhat of an outline done before I start, but I've been itching to write so that may not happen. I don't know that I take ideas from any specific, whatever feels right for the story, I go with it.

Is the beginning the easy or the difficult bit for you?
Often times I can think of the opening pretty easily, it's all the meat in the middle I have issues with, hence why I tend to write one-shot stories. It just kinda happens. Every now and then I have something that happens later that really wants to be written and I'll go back and write the begining later, but that tends to really mess me up. I'd rather start from the top.

 

What do you even consider to be the "beginning" of a story? The very first sentence is where we begin. It's the door that opens us up to a new world. I usually don't care much for prologues and jumping into the action can be fun if done right, but can very easily be done wrong. A happy medium is difficult to achieve.

What type of text to you like to start with? I don't start a story with dialogue. It inherently shakes my interest in what's happening because I'm not familiar with the speaker, so I don't mimic the technique. I may start a chapter down the line with dialogue after the reader is hooked into the story. Ideally, characters, plot and context should be sprinkled across the first few pages. The trick is not getting mired in exposition. I try not to do peripheral tie-ins, as they can be misleading and sometimes confusing. They're amazing when done right.

What timeframe to you like for your opening scene? Personally, I can't stand static opening scenes and I'm quite a fan of in medias res. Flashbacks can be neat, but more often than not a reader might feel cheated. Kind of like the "It was just a dream" type of opening.

How do you proceed to write the beginning? I try to read books written in the same style/tone that I'm aiming for, but I never borrow much. I also never have my stories completely plotted out before I start writing either. I just go. I mean, I have some bones for the middle and I know how the story will end, but nothing is laid out in extreme, plotted-out detail before I write.

Is the beginning the easy or the difficult bit for you?
The beginning is all too easy. That's what makes everything else so frustrating. I'm much like mavjade in this sense. Beginning? No problem. Middle? Ehh... can I get back to you on that? Although the easiest way to get over not writing anything is to, well, just write. Best thing to do wherever you're stuck at. Just write. Doesn't matter if it's awful. Go back and change it later.


BTW, been digging the weekly topics. Love reading up on everyone's progress/road bumps. The struggle is real.

 

Love the weekly topics. Like the FFAMA it was constantly entertaining.

* A beginning for me can be a few sentences or paragraphs. When I read, if I'm not snagged by the end of first chapter, so I wanna write that way too.

* I start with a blend of narrative describing the context and dialogue. I love dialogue to set up the situation and move it along.

* Usually, the beginning point is a chapter not a prologue and it jumps right into the situation. Flashbacks if present will occur later on.

* Beginnings are usually not hard for me - it's often the middle toward the end if anything is difficult. It's not the time-point however but the type of scene that would make it problematic: political type scenes, action driven.

 

What do you even consider to be the "beginning" of a story?
The first words can be a poem, a reflection or just a prologue. Or it can be action from the start.

What type of text to you like to start with?
The new story will start with a description of the scenery to have new readers becoming familiar with the scenes and characters. And there is an introduction of the plot. Some dialogue between the main characters. And the main protagonist is introduced.

What timeframe to you like for your opening scene?
I start with the day and year and write events chronologically.

How do you proceed to write the beginning?
I just begin to write after plotting my story in a few lines and jump from beginning, to middle to end and back during my writing

And, lastly, is the beginning the easy or the difficult bit for you?
The first words are easy, giving the scenery or action.