Fighting the Dark (JA, may have spoilers)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by DarkSithLady, Mar 14, 2001.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. DarkSithLady Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Feb 24, 2001
    Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine except the ones made up. They all belong to George Lucas.

    *****************************

    Fifteen year old Obi-Wan Kenobi and his master Qui-Gon Jinn were walking down a dark ally in the city of Ras-Tsh. The crumbling buildings were a painful reminder of the depression that had consumed the planet. For now the Force had been quiet but suddenly a large disturbance grabbed their attention. //Master?// Obi-Wan looked up at his Master with what might have been fear in his eyes. //I feel it my young Padawan. Stay on alert.// //Yes Master.// He spoke the words almost too late, a dark figure jumped down off the remains of one of the building firing a blaster. Both Master and Padawan activated their lightsabers deflecting the bolts. Suddenly Qui-Gon felt a sear of pain shoot up his back. Another man had come down from behind and managed to get a shot through the lightsaber. He hit the ground hard, and just before he blacked out he saw Obi-Wan land beside him.

    ********************************
    Please leave me remarks, whether they be good or bad.:)
  2. Obi the Kid Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Apr 13, 2000
    star 4
    Interesting beginning! More?
  3. Master_Tahl Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Aug 10, 2000
    star 2
    Nice start,but...cliffhanger! Post Soon! Looking forward to more :)
  4. Abbi_Cee Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jul 3, 2000
    star 4
    Obi and Qui, my favorite subjects. Can't wait to see where you take this.
  5. DarkSithLady Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Feb 24, 2001
    Thanks you guys. I feel so happy that you guys like my story. Well I guess I'll continue for you.
    ************************8

    <Darkness, pain, confusion.> Obi-Wan came awake with a sudden start from his nightmare in a warm, well lit room. He winced as he felt numerous bruises on his ribs protest at the sudden movement 'I'm in the hospital!' A sudden start next to him signaled Qui-Gon also coming awake. //Obi-Wan are you alright?// Obi-Wan groaned inwardly, he had forgotten their bond through the Force. His master could feel everthing that he felt and vice-versa. //Yes Master, I'm fine, but should I be asking you the same thing.// Obi-Wan had reached out through their bond and what he had found out was that Qui-Gon had a blaster burn on his back, and a couple of bruised ribs. //I'm fine, how are you// //I'm okay but...// Obi-Wan stopped short, a twinge in the Force signaled someone approaching and a few seconds later the door wizzed open letting a young woman pushing a cart with food on it into the room. "Well I hope you guys are hungry, it's been 24 hours since either of you have eaten." She smiled and unloaded two trays heaping with food. At the very sight of food Obi-Wan's stomach let out a rumble. //Very nice Padawan.// Obi-Wan smiled and sent him back a reply, //No problem, anytime.// Then Qui-Gon turned serious. "Who exactly attacked us back there?" The nurse sighed, "Anymore it's hard to tell, there used to be only one gang around but now...who knows? You know what I mean? Well, I must be on, I still have lots of patients to feed. When you guys are done eating you should try to get somemore rest." She slowly pushed the cart out the door and it wizzed shut behind her. Qui-Gon turned to face Obi-Wan, "We should follow her advice, the sooner we get out of here the quicker we can find out who our attacker was."

    *****************************
    Please leave me comments!!! Please, please, please?????????????/
  6. SiriGallia Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jan 28, 2001
    star 4
    Yes, Yes, DarkSithLady, Keep going you're doing great!!!!!!! Pleeeeeeease keep going, pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaasssssssseeeee!!
  7. Kelly Kenobi Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Mar 23, 2000
    star 4
    The story is great so far, definately leaves me wanted more!!!!

    I would suggest formatting a little different, the format that it is in currently is a little hard to read. Not that will stop me from reading more mind you!!!

    :D
  8. DarkSithLady Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Feb 24, 2001
    Sorry guys but the DarkSithLady has a full force writers block. Once I get over this I'll start posting again.
  9. Jessica Kenobi Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Apr 6, 2000
    star 1
    Intrigueing, yes....keep up the good work! this story has good potential if our boys get hurt in the very first paragraph! keep postin!
    Jessica
  10. DarkSithLady Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Feb 24, 2001
    Thanks to all for the comments! I will try to format it, but no promises...

    *****************************

    Somewhere else on the planet of Ras-Tsh, in a dark room, in a dark building...

    "Did you manage to capture them?" a voice snarled out of the darkness at two cowering figures. "N-no, we d-d-didn't. Another person m-managed to break us up, a-and when we r-r-returned they were gone."

    The voice let out a cry of outrage, "Get out of my sight you pathetic fools. And the next time you decide to come here it had better be with news of capture." "Y-yes sir!" The two figures hurridly ran off.

    'Hmmmm, capturing the two Jedi is going to be much harder than I thought.' The dark figure began to pace back and forth. 'Not to fear Qui-Gon, I will capture you... You and your pathetic Padawan.'

    ******************************
    Comments anyone? I love comments!

  11. JoeyKenobi Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Apr 22, 2000
    Ohhhh, this is really good. I can't wait to read more. Keep up the good posts DarkSithLady.
  12. Jessica Kenobi Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Apr 6, 2000
    star 1
    Ooooooooh! the plot thickens! somebody's after our boys-not that i blame them. I would go after them too!
  13. Master_Tahl Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Aug 10, 2000
    star 2
    Woo, creepy . Enter the evil guy. hehe :) Post soon!
  14. SiriGallia Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jan 28, 2001
    star 4
    HOW DO YOU DO IT??? YOU MANAGE TO COMPLETLY CAPTURE MY ATTENTION IN JUST A FEW MORE PARAGRAPHS!!!!!!!!!!!! Please post more!
  15. DarkSithLady Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Feb 24, 2001
    Thanks for all the comments.... I didn't know I could grab someone's attention like that. Here's more....

    ****************************

    Long after Obi-Wan had fallen asleep Qui-Gon was still on alert. Every sense was tuned in to the Force, he had a feeling that something very bad was going to happen. //Obi-Wan?// the feeling was so strong now. //What?// a still sleepy Obi-Wan voice filled his head. //I think we need to get out of here now!// Both Master and Padawan swifly rose to their feet and headed to their door.

    Suddenly blaster fire exploded into the room shattering the window letting in six men wearing black. Qui-Gon and Obi-wan took off running down the hallway. They turned down unfamiliar hallways followed by the men still firing. Suddenly up ahead the exit loomed, they were so close to freedom when a stun bolt hit him and Obi-Wan in the backs. The last thing he heard was a familiar voice laughing, laughing at him and his fallen Padawan.

    *******************************8

    Enter new evil character! Comments???
  16. SiriGallia Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jan 28, 2001
    star 4
    Ah!!!!!! Do you have to do that!!!??? You write a paragraph and were all hanging of a cliff!!!!!!
  17. DarkSithLady Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Feb 24, 2001
    I have writers block again. I'll post as soon as I can. I need more comments!
  18. Kelly Kenobi Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Mar 23, 2000
    star 4
    I hope your writers block clears soon!!!

    I must know what will happen next :D :D :D
  19. JoeyKenobi Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Apr 22, 2000
    Ohhh we need more, we really need more. Another great post but I wish it was longer:) Can't wait for more.
  20. DarkSithLady Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Feb 24, 2001
    Sorry peeps I stilll have writers block, and worse - I am now startingn Drivers Ed. I'll try to write as much as I can when I can.
  21. Jessica Kenobi Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Apr 6, 2000
    star 1
    this is getting pretty intense! hurry and post again, I gotta find out who's beating up our guys!
  22. DarkSithLady Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Feb 24, 2001
    Qui-Gon came slowly awake to find him and his Padawan locked in a dark room. "Master, where are we?" A shaky Obi-Wan voice came out of the darkness? "I have no idea, it must be some kind of holding cell or something.. but where I have-." A disturbance in the Force alerted him to several people walking toward the door.

    The suddenly flicked on and the door flew open. Squinting, Qui-Gon could make out several guards standing in the doorway. "You're coming with us!" Two guards roughly grabbed Qui-Gon and two also did the same with Obi-Wan. As they started to walk out of the room Qui-Gon nailed the guard to his right in the face with a square punch. The guard to his left was so surprised he let go of Qui-Gon's other arm. But as soon as he was free a searing pain shot through his body, bringing him to his knees. "Nice try, but it won't work. There are tiny sensors implanted in your body that give off electrical shocks. Any attempt at escape will cause them to go off. You may want to think twice before trying that again." Laughing, they grabbed him and began walking down the hallway.

    **********************************

    In that dark room, in that dark building (again).

    "What do you two sniviling worms want now?" the dark figure snarled at the two cowering forms at his feet. "W-w-we've managed to c-capture the two Jedi. O-our personal t-transports are bringing t-them here now." "Excellent! Now get out of my sight." "Y-yes s-sir!" The cowering figures ran out of the room. 'Enjoy your ride Qui-Gon, your stay here will be much worse.

    ************************************

    Yea, I got over my writers block! Comments?
  23. SiriGallia Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jan 28, 2001
    star 4
    Oh please keep going!! This is my favorite story out of the ones I am reading now!!! I am serious!!!!!!!

    ~~~Rate 10 out of 10~~~

    Your my first 'perfect rate' please keep it up!!!
  24. DarkSithLady Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Feb 24, 2001
    Thank you!! Any more comments??? I need more comments! :)
  25. SiriGallia Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jan 28, 2001
    star 4
    C'mon, can't you finish this story? Please?
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.