Saga Fill in the Gaps: Write scenes that were not in the movies that probably took place

ANH

Intelligence briefing after the capture of the Tantive IV



Vader: OK so the princess is in custody, and we have her ship. You said there was an escape pod that probably held the plans. Where did it land?

Stormtrooper 1: On that *points out window* planet, sir. Tatooine.

Vader: Tatooine? *breathes* Interesting.

Stormtrooper 1: There were no life forms aboard. We traced the footsteps to a protocol droid and an R2 unit that were sold to a local moisture farmer named Owen Lars. He lived not far from Mos Eisley with his wife Beru. Their nephew works for them and was not home when we murdered them. We've learned the boy is about 20 years old and his name is Luke Skywalker. The droids were seen boarding a Corellian ship with a young boy about 20, a wookie, a space pirate and some old guy dressed up like a jedi.

Vader: Okay. Well let me know if you find the plans.

 

Naming the Death Star.

TARKIN: Let's call it MOONBEAM!

VADER: that is retarded.

TARKIN: Well what's your suggestion?

VADER: I like OSCAR!

TARKIN: I'M NOT COMMANDING ANYTHING CALLED THE OSCAR.

VADER: I get to command it! i killed all the jedi!

COMMANDER CODY: AHEM!

VADER: Oh please. you didn't even do anything. your jedi got away.

COMMANDER CODY: Oh yeah. and you sure captured him easily. that's why you got all those arms and legs.

VADER: you know what? i don't have to take this at all.

TARKIN: This bickering is pointless.

VADER: I'm so sick of hearing you say that.

TARKIN: The MOONBEAM will strike terror in the hearts of everyone that hears it. much more than oscar.

COMMANDER CODY: why don't you guys call it Big Round Ball of PAIN!!!! now THAT is cool.

VADER: I GOT IT FELLAS! we'll call it BLEWYKABOOM!

20 years later...

TARKIN: WHEEL OF HURT!

VADER: PUMPKIN OF TRADGEDY!

COMMANDER CODY: i'm 7000 years old!!!

TARKIN: This bickering is pointless!

VADER: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!