Beyond Final (Short, sad, one-poster)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Xaara, Mar 29, 2003.

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  1. Xaara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 30, 2002
    star 3
    She's dead, and there's nothing I can do about it. The cynical voice echoed through my head until it was all I could hear. Dead, dead, you failed her, she's dead, it taunted, dredging up my worst memories, the images of all the fights we've had, all the angry words we've shouted at each other.

    I'm sorry. Really, I am.

    I wish I could tell you that.

    It's always the deaths of the ones you really care about that take the idea of war and make it real. I know that for an absolute certainty; it's sure as hell real this time. I know, because it hurts.

    I loved her, no, I love her. I don't think anything can ever change that, and I don't want anything to change that. There's nothing exactly like the bond we shared, nothing quite like the times we went through together. There's nothing like seeing your kids for the first time. There's nothing like coming back from a long mission and knowing that your wife's gonna be there, and that your kids are gonna run and hug you with smiles on their faces. There's nothing like calling someplace home after countless years of running around the Galaxy.

    I love you, sweetheart.

    The kids are standing next to me, watching the casket. My oldest looks wonderful in her uniform; her brothers have grown up with a lot of my facial features. I have to stop studying them. Every little movement they make, every little smile or frown, they all remind me of her.

    Not that I could ever forget anyway.

    They're saying something up there next to her. Probably a speech about how wonderful she was and how great it was that she could contribute her life to the Galaxy. I'd give it all away for one more hour, one more minute with her. Every single thing we've ever done, I'd give it all away. There's nothing I'd rather do than order all these people out of this room and just sit by her and cry. But that would be frowned upon by all the people who are just here to watch me.

    I have a reputation to uphold, after all. I'm supposed to be untouchable.

    Our first meeting was hardly romantic, honey. You remember that? All those years ago? We hit it off, didn't we? Avoided each other for weeks afterward. But there was something about you that stopped me from giving up on you even when there was a lot easier game out there. Any number of women would have loved to be my wife, and I had to go after the one who couldn't stand the sight of me.

    What did you see?

    I didn't deserve one minute of all that you gave me. I didn't deserve the kids or the position of General or the dances. I didn't deserve you. I didn't deserve for you to die.

    Death is so final.

    But I hope I meet you somewhere, Princess. I don't know how long I can live without you. I don't think I want to live without you. Sure, I have plenty to live for, but you were a good portion of that plenty. You know what? I think I'll see you again for the simply reason that I refuse to not see you again. If it means crossing a river or braving a volcano or whatever else various religions claim is the path to Heaven, I'm gonna find you. I love you, Leia Organa Solo.

    Wherever you might be, don't you dare forget that.

    ***************************************************************

    A/N: Yes, this is short, but the disturbing thought of Leia's death came to me and I had to write Han's reaction to it before I could go to bed. I hope you enjoyed it!
  2. duskwings Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 10, 2003
    star 3
    :_| Poor Han. He loves her so much, you can see that everywhere in this vignette. He adores her, and now she's dead. :_|

    I'd give it all away for one more hour, one more minute with her. Every single thing we've ever done, I'd give it all away.

    That was beautiful. Depressing, but beautiful.

    -duskwings
  3. Xaara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 30, 2002
    star 3
    Thank you! It was easy to write in one way, and hard to write in another--I had to keep editing because it had a tendency to become too monotonous. Glad you liked it.
  4. Solo_Skywalker Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 5, 2003
    star 1
    Wow... that was sooo sad, poor Han. :_|
  5. lordmaul13 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 18, 2000
    star 4
    That was sad. :(

    But very good. :)

    lordmaul13
  6. RogueWompRat Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Feb 15, 2003
    star 4
    Really moving, man. Good job.
  7. crystalrain Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 28, 2003
    star 4
  8. obaona Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 18, 2002
    star 4
    :_|

    I agree. That's very sad. But very well done, I liked the progression of thoughts and the way it was laid out.

    :)
  9. Soulwalker Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 18, 2003
    star 4
    Wow...that went straight to the chest. ;_;

    Really good scene, Xaara, but very, very sad. :(
  10. Xaara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 30, 2002
    star 3
    Thanks, Solo_Skywalker. Yeah, Han does sort of get the bad end of the deal in this one, doesn't he? ;)

    lordmaul13: Thank you! I confess, it even got me down, and I'm a perpetually happy person... :D I'm glad you liked it.

    Thanks a bunch, RogueWompRat.

    I'll have to agree, crystalrain. ;) Thank you for stopping by.

    Am I starting to see a pattern here, obaona? :p It was difficult to make the whole thing coherent (it starts out referring to Leia as "she" and ends up referring to her as "you"), so I'm glad you thought it worked out.

    Thank you, Soulwalker. I like it when my readers get emotionally involved--it's what writing's all about!
  11. JainaJag00 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 11, 2002
    star 4
    that was soooo sad. i love han's thoughts tho. very sad, but extremely good. nice viggie Xaara!
  12. Xaara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 30, 2002
    star 3
    I'm glad you liked it, JJ00. Thank you for reading!
  13. Miska Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 18, 2002
    star 2
    ::sobs:: awwwwww that was terrible!! In a wonderful way of course :) I *hate* these H/L fics where someone dies, but I just can't keep away from them...You did a great job capturing Han though, I'm filled with envy for anyone who can do that. Great job!!

    ::Miska runs off to go read something happy::
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