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  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

Saga Fine

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by LuminaraFan4Evr, Sep 27, 2007.

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  1. LuminaraFan4Evr

    LuminaraFan4Evr Jedi Knight star 2

    Registered:
    Sep 14, 2006
    Quick note: the title is not "fine" like in "I feel fine." It is pronounced "fee-nay" which is a musical term meaning "the end" in case you didn't already know that.

    Disclaimer: Barriss and Luminara do not belong to me. Neither do the Jedi. Sorry.
    ***

    Beat one.

    Luminara Unduli is watching her Padawan die.

    Beat two.

    It wasn?t supposed to be like this. A Master is never supposed to outlive her student.

    Beat three.

    The young girl?s sweet face is pale, her eyes open. For now.

    Beat four.

    She is fading away, her soul slowly leaking away from her body, now too frail to hold her vivacious spirit.

    Beat five.

    Barriss always knew, in her heart, she?d be the first to go. She was a healer by nature, not a warrior. She was never strong.

    Beat six.

    She?s been dying a little every day, ever since Geonosis. Her heart has no will to go on, her eyes having grown too tired of watching her friends die around her.

    Beat seven.

    Barriss meets her Master?s eyes, struggles to turn her head. The tiny action eats away at her energy.

    Beat eight.

    ?Master,? she whispers. ?The Force is with you? and as long as it is??

    Beat

    ?So will I.? Barriss?s eyes, the brilliant sapphire color faded by illness and injury, close for the last time.

    Nine.

    She leaves life the way she lived it ? quietly, unobtrusively, barely noticeable by all but one.

    *** end***

    r& r please?
     
  2. Quigonjecca

    Quigonjecca Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jul 2, 2007
    [face_worried] *Sniff* :_|

    Oh that was so sad!...

    ...But so beautiful!

    Great job!
     
  3. XANl

    XANl Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    May 1, 2006
    [face_hypnotized]
    so few word

    with a deep meaning!

    simple
    yet so deep !
    I will meditate on this for awhile
    to contemplate the many messages!
    hope the next fic is longer

    great!
     
  4. SilSolo

    SilSolo Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 5, 2004
    Poor Barriss, so torn by war
     
  5. LuminaraFan4Evr

    LuminaraFan4Evr Jedi Knight star 2

    Registered:
    Sep 14, 2006
    Yay, replies! (I live on replies. Seriously.) And... new readers?


    QuiGonjecca
    : It was sad for me to write it, too... but I'm glad you looked past the depressing-ness and thought it was beautiful!

    XANl : It's always funny to me when I read back over something because I awlways see all these deep messages in them that honestly I never even tried to put in there... then i confuse myself trying to analyze them... lol. Thanks for looking through this!


    SilSolo
    : I feel sorry for Barriss, that's why I write about her a lot. GLad to see she has other sympathizers too.


    Thanks everybody for taking the time to read this, especially since I think you, SilSolo, are the only one who's read my stuff before.. if I'm wrong about that, sorry, but usually the same crowd shows up at all my work... nice to see some new people are still willing to take a chance and read my stuff! Thanks again for posting!


    EDIT: Wow, I just realized something - This is my TWENTY-FIRST story on this site! I do have too much free time...
     
  6. earlybird-obi-wan

    earlybird-obi-wan Chosen One star 6

    Registered:
    Aug 21, 2006
    so sad and so meaningful in a few words. Great job
     
  7. KELIA

    KELIA Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jul 26, 2005
    :_|:_|:_|:_|

    That was brutal!

    Nicely done

    =D= =D= =D= =D=
     
  8. UnderCoverJedi

    UnderCoverJedi Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Jul 19, 2006
    Heartbreaking and beautifully written. =D=
     
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