Fire and Darkness -- Amidala's Death (short story)

crushing.

 

<sniff...sniff....>
Very well done.....will there be more?

 

Oh gosh. I think I'm going to cry.... if it really does happen like this, I really will cry my eyes out.... Tragic. Beautiful.

 

<sniffle sniffle> Sad...but really good! Is there going to be more?


Hey...I'm I Jedi Knight! Yeehaa!

[This message has been edited by Ariana Lang (edited 01-02-2000).]

 

There will be another installment tomorrow (although it will probably be short)...be ready for another sniffle or two!

 

<<sits there and cries>> It's so good.

 

I don't feel like typing much, so jmust go to another of my favorite threads and read some of my
more
more
more posts. They all apply to this one.

 

So believably sad. Very well written.

 

Hmmm...I seem to be having technical difficulties. I hope to have my next section up tonight, but there are a few computer glitches in my way...

***Nevermind -- it seems I got things worked out. Today's bit is pretty short.

I'll be posting the conclusion tomorrow (1/4).***

[This message has been edited by ami-padme (edited 01-03-2000).]

 

Why didn't I sense the danger? I couldn't feel a stormtrooper that close?

I should have known. I should have stopped him.

But no...he had allowed his emotions to run wild. He had become unfocused, distracted...weak. Oblivious to his surroundings; unable to focus on anything but her.

And now she would die because of it.

Amidala's eyes fluttered open. She almost managed a small smile. "At least I know I was right about you, Anakin..." Her voice trailed off. Her eyes closed. Her body went limp in his arms.

Vader stared at Amidala's lifeless form.

His focus began to return.

The Dark Side reclaimed him, infused him with its energy.

Her light was gone, nothing but the Darkness remained now.

 

Is that it? Is that the end? Whaaa!

Only very tiny suggestion is to give a little more response to her statement that she was right about him, since it remains such an important thing that it's the last thing he thinks to say to Luke -- how does he feel about that? As the Dark Side reclaims him, does he feel that she was being presumptuous? Or does he lock it away consciously, knowing she's right, but also knowing that he doesn't stand a chance? Does he agree with her or disagree at this point? Inquiring minds want to know...

Terrific story, a-p.

 

Actually, I'm posting the very last post tomorrow...

You have a valid point; if I have time, I might try to add something about that to the conclusion.

Thanks for the advice!

 

FANTASTIC!

I can't wait for tomorrow.

 

(evil smirk on OJ's face)
When I first read the beginning, I thought for some reason that when Vader was running, he might have been fleeing from Ewoks.

[This message has been edited by OJSithLord (edited 01-08-2000).]

 

Woohoo! Page 2!

That was too short, ami-padme... teasing your readers is not a good idea. I-- I mean they -- can get very impatient....

 

Wonderful...wonderful....<sigh>...

 

You got game...However, I think it would have been cool to see Vader's lightsaber send some heads rolling

 

I'm crying-that was sooo sad. Very well written. Write more!

 

Vader laid Amidala down, straightening her arms along her sides. As he stood, sparks ignited from the ground around Amidala's body. The sparks turned into flames - the beginnings of her funeral pyre.

The fire began to consume her. And the Darkness continued to consume him. He barely noticed the flames start to spread to the surrounding grass. Outsmarted - defeated - by a stormtrooper! The thought sickened him. He resolved he would never be so weak again.

The fire crawled up nearby trees. Vader still stood there, unaffected by the flames.

Palpatine was still right. Palpatine had always been right.

His powers had been diluted. He had risked everything his Master had given him. And for what? A tearful reunion?

No, he vowed. This can never, ever happen again.

Vader turned his back on Amidala and headed for his ship. The blaze trailed behind him - leaping from tree to tree, devouring grass, destroying everything in its path. Vader was unconcerned.

Hatred seared within him - hatred at himself. His former self.

The fire strayed from its path, scattering in all directions. A segment made its way back to the capital city.

No more doubts. No more inaction.

He would experience the complete breadth of his powers with no childish memories to hold him back.

With that decision made, Vader turned to face the now raging fire. This is true power, he told himself. Command over nature; the ability to destroy. A minute ago, he couldn't stop an inept stormtrooper. No matter what she had thought or said, Anakin was a failure.

As Vader he was strong. Anakin was now dead.

Vader calmed his mind, encouraging his anger and hatred to fester within him. When he felt utterly in command of himself, those emotions flowed through him and towards the fire.

A fireball billowed up and exploded from the forest, racing in every direction with startling speed. As Alderaan burned, Vader walked the remaining distance to his ship. He boarded it, set course for Coruscant, and left his former life behind.


In the capital city, panic ensued as the fire bore down upon them. A little girl watched the scene from the royal palace, despair and loss washing over her. She was horrified by what she saw, but knew that wasn't the reason she was hurting. Something else had happened. The pain was acute, but she couldn't quite place it.

"Leia, please come away from the window, honey." Bail Organa gave his daughter a hug and picked her up. Leia took a long, final look at the fire, then buried herself in her father's arms as he carried her away.

[This message has been edited by ami-padme (edited 01-04-2000).]

 

Well, that's the end of the story! What did you guys think? I hope you enjoyed it.

Thanks again for all the compliments and for the advice -- I really appreciate the feedback! You've guys have encouraged me to start another story (of course, I'll post it here when I'm done).

 

Aaaaaa!



Nice job, a-p. I particularly liked the sudden point-of-view switch in the end. It could have worked with Luke as well, but Leia's handier in this plot... it feels like, as Vader asserts his control, the "Anakin" voice flies out to his child (had it been shifting points of view, it wouldn't have that effect, but as is, it feels as if the consciousness simply shifts, which is a nice effect).

 

Well, since I've chosen a silly format involving covers for my page, I made one for this. It doesn't do justice to the story. (Anyone who checks this in the next five minutes will be confused because I haven't uploaded it yet, but it'll be up soon.) As always, I submit for approval, and hope there is someone out there better at Paintbrush than I am. But I'm happy with the "dying Amidala" I found at Multimedia.

(Sorry about the title color, though, a-p -- I have to do that on another terminal, so I just grabbed a bright color that I knew would stand out on the background.)

http://members.aol.com/fernwithy/vadersmask/fire.htmlFire and Darkness cover page

[This message has been edited by JediGaladriel (edited 01-05-2000).]

[This message has been edited by JediGaladriel (edited 01-08-2000).]

 

JediGaladriel .... wherem did you find that pic of Ami?? I'd like to try my hand at messing with that pic too.

 

That's in Multimedia, prequels section, Behind the Scenes, Cast, Natalie Portman. Don't know what page it's on, but you'll know it when you see it. She's playing Sleeping Beauty and the Prince.

http://www.theforce.net/cgi-bin/imageFolio/prequels/imageFolio.cgi?action=view&link=Behind_the_Scenes/Cast/Natalie_Portman&image=np_vntf12.jpg&img=40This should get you there, but it's a mixed up URL and I don't guarantee it...

[This message has been edited by JediGaladriel (edited 01-05-2000).]

 

Don't worry about the graphics, JG! I'm pretty impressed that you found a dying Amidala/Natalie Portman.



[This message has been edited by ami-padme (edited 01-06-2000).]