Before Fire and Ice: Hindsight....sequel to Fire and Ice...Lurker Appreciation Week has begun!!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Durhelediel, Jul 13, 2004.

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  1. Durhelediel Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 5, 2004
    star 3
    Title: Fire and Ice: Hindsight

    Authors: Durhelediel and Layren

    Rating: R for torture, but PG on edited version

    Disclaimer: Of course, all recognizable Star Wars characters belong to George Lucas. We just like to take them out to ?um, play. Yeah.

    Note: Second in an intended series of six. This is a little Master/Padawan challenge between ourselves. Fire and Ice was with both of our fav characters being tortured. This one is Layren torturing Obi-Wan. Then it will be Durhelediel's turn to torture Qui-Gon in the third one. There will be one more each of Obi-Wan (Layren's doing) and Qui-Gon (Durhelediel's doing), and then an ending one with both of them being tortured. We ask our readers to help us judge on who tortures the best. :} Have as much fun reading as we are writing! Lol

    Chapter One

    Sixteen-year-old Obi-Wan Kenobi sighed and turned around at the healer's call. He and his master were still recovering from their latest excursion to Hoth where pirates had tried to kill them by leaving them on Hoth's surface, exposed to the elements. Qui-Gon was currently in surgery to repair his larynx. "Yes?"

    Healer Apprentice Anya came over to the apprentice. "Master Qui-Gon is doing very well. The surgery is progressing without any problems. We should be done in about thirty minutes. He'll be awake shortly after but he still won't be able to talk for a few more days yet."

    Obi-Wan sighed. "Thank the Force," he breathed. "I need to alert Master Kyran and Master Devin." And Lana, he added in his mind, reaching for his comlink and thumbing it on.

    Kyran yawned a little as he woke up. He'd been in the Healer's ward for the last several days waiting on Qui-Gon to recover, but the healers had finally chased him out and made him go get some rest. "Josel," he mumbled through a yawn.

    Obi-Wan yawned in response. He had not slept since the two days he had been allowed out of the bacta tank as he watched his master recovering from his injuries and then preparing for his surgery. "Qui-Gon will be out of surgery in thirty minutes. He's okay," Obi-Wan finally said through his yawn.

    Kyran came more aware. "Good. Let me get dressed and I'll be right there." He thumbed off his comlink and rummaged around for his tunic. He shook his wife's shoulder gently. "Lana?"

    Lana immediately awoke. "What? Is it Qui? Is he alright?"

    "Qui-Gon is fine. He'll be out of surgery within half an hour. Let's go get dressed and go down there to see Obi-Wan."

    Lana pulled on a tight bodysuit that she kept under her Jedi robes. "Has that boy gotten any sleep in the last two days?"

    Kyran sighed. "I have no idea, but I'm going to drug the boy myself if he doesn't sleep soon."

    Lana opened the door for her husband as she attached her lightsaber to her belt, then hooked her arm in his as they walked to the turbolift that would take them up to the Healers Ward. "He's certainly not helping things any by not sleeping," she agreed. "Qui-Gon will skin us alive when he finds out that his padawan is sleep deprived." She keyed in the floor in the turbolift and they zoomed upward.

    "Yes he will," he agreed. He nodded to Devin as they got off the lift seeing him coming from the other direction. Devin fell into place on Kyran's other side, yawning.

    Lana punched Devin lightly on the arm. "Perhaps we can put it off on Devin?" She joked at her husband.

    Devin seemed confused at first, but Kyran quickly sent him a mental burst that caught him up. "You can't do that!" Devin said in mock outrage. "I was busy with important Council business." He rolled his eyes. The Council had called him for yet another briefing on his last mission that had gone horribly wrong. The thing was, they wanted to send him off on yet another one right away. He'd never see his friends at this rate.

    Lana smirked. "It's two against one, Devin dear..." She trailed off as she caught sight of a very obviously exhausted Obi-Wan in the waiting area.

    Devin smiled a little at the padawan. "We've come to wake you up, young one. It should only be a few
  2. Kynstar Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 2, 2004
    star 5
    Yippee!! More!! ;)

    Uh oh! Obi was not up to par alright! Man is Qui gonna give him a tongue lashing for sure once he finds the boy!!

    Great start! hehehehe love the nagging Kyran gives Qui ;)
  3. DreamOfKenobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 4, 2004
    star 2
    I'll have to read the prequel but I love what I see so far! Good work!
  4. Layren Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2003
    star 5
    Kynstar First to reply! I think you always are :p

    DreamOfKenobi Ooooh new reader alert! Welcome aboard! This story is completed also ;) I sent the complete parts to her last night instead of waiting around and sending a piece at a time like usual :) Hope you enjoy reading what we've written! From both of us ...
  5. PadawanEstel Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 23, 2004
    star 1
    uh-oh... Obi-Wan! you should have known better! [face_shame_on_you]
    this looks good, guys! bring on the torture... [face_devil]




    Evil? Who, me? O:)
  6. Layren Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2003
    star 5
    PadawanEste, Hehehee. Yes he should've known better -- bad Obi-Wan! Bad! Qui-Gon's not going to be happy when he finds out either ;) -- I noticed you're fairly new. Welcome to the forums!! If you need anything let me know :)
  7. Durhelediel Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 5, 2004
    star 3
    Hm I should say something. lol

    Again, thank you for your comments Kynstar. Always appreciated.

    Welcome both of our new readers!!! Yes yes read the prequel. lol

    Well, one note to those who do not know: these boards have a rating limit so we have to severally edit this story, TRUST ME. The unedited version will be available somewhere else. Don't know where yet, usually it's fanfiction.net but it's not up at the moment. We'll let you know the chapters that have been edited.

    Enjoy everyone!
  8. Fated2Bdespised Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 4, 2004
    I'll definitely have to keep an eye on this one. It looks superb!
  9. Layren Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2003
    star 5
    Fate2BDespised Glad you liked it!! We had quite a bit of fun writing it. I enjoyed beating the stuffing out of Obi-Wan because I knew she was going to try to beat on my character next fic... lol. So that makes it more tolerable ;) Glad you guys are having as much fun as we are :)
  10. Durhelediel Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 5, 2004
    star 3
    And just think...there's more to come...[face_devil]
  11. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    WOW! Shaking my head in awe, so well done! Is it possible to have the "R" version PM'ed to me? I'd like to see it in its original version if possible. If not, that's cool, I love it just as it is!
  12. Durhelediel Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 5, 2004
    star 3
    Okay so I'm kindof studying and kindof not...lol

    Chapter Two

    Kyran woke with a start. He had dozed off for a short nap while waiting on Obi-Wan to wake, but something in the Force had prodded him to full alert. His heart hammered and he was broken out in a sweat, yet he did not know what was wrong. The only thought he had was to contact Qui-Gon. After several frustrating minutes of trying to convince Anya to disturb the recovering Jedi Master, he was finally allowed to talk to Qui-Gon. "My friend, did you feel it?" he asked without preamble.

    Qui-Gon was sitting up in bed with a worried and agitated look on his face. He nodded once to show he had. //What was that?//

    Kyran shook his head. "I was hoping you could tell me," he said three floors below his friend as he began to walk back to the Healer's wing. Lana gave him a quizzical look. "I'm going to have Lana check to see if Obi-Wan felt it. I hate to disturb the boy but we need to make sure that all of us are safe."

    //I agree,// Qui-Gon said as he laid back in his pillows. It was so frustrating to think there might be some danger lurking and be unable to do anything about it.

    Lana ran off down the hall to where Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan's quarters were. She quickly skidded to a halt outside the door and knocked rapidly. There was no answer, but she didn't think there would be if the poor boy was finally sleeping after two days. She used her passcode to enter and strode to Obi-Wan's room. She stopped short when she saw his bed was empty, and worse, not even rumpled. A quick survey of the other rooms showed that Obi-Wan was no where in the quarters. Before she contacted her husband, she noticed a datapad blinking by the holonet. Feeling the Force prompt her, she scooped it up and ran out the door, thumbing her comlink on as she did so. "Obi-Wan's not in the rooms," she said quickly as she skidded into a turbolift and keyed for the Healers.

    "What?" Kyran said astonished as he entered Qui-Gon's room. "He was supposed to go back to his room and sleep!" He glanced at Qui-Gon who had drifted slowly back to sleep from the anesthetics still lingering in his system.

    "Well, he's not here," Lana replied a trifle testily. "He's bed hasn't even been turned down. I found something that you should take a look at." She stepped off the turbolift, closed down her comlink and raced into Qui-Gon's recovery room. She handed her husband the datapad. Glancing at the slumbering Qui-Gon, she whispered, "I haven't even looked at it yet. It might be a clue."

    Kyran took the datapad from his wife and frowned a little as he turned it on. "Blast it," he said as he saw the letter with the request for aide on it. "He's probably not in the temple at all."

    Lana shook her head. "He needed sleep! Where would he go? What does it say?"

    Wordlessly Kyran handed the datapad to his wife. "You know how Obi-Wan is. Where do you think he went?"

    Lana sighed. "One of us needs to tell Qui," she murmured, her eyes still riveted to the datapad.

    Qui-Gon blinked sleepily. "Tell me what?" He croaked out.

    Lana and Kyran glanced at each other. Kyran sat down beside him. "Qui-Gon," he said gently, "Obi-Wan's missing."

    Qui-Gon frowned a little. His throat had hurt when he spoke, reminding him not to speak aloud. //What do you mean he's missing?// he demanded as he came more awake, sitting up in bed.

    Lana quickly shut the door and barricaded herself in front of it to keep him from leaving. Kyran cleared his throat. "Lana found this message on your datapad," he said as he handed to his friend.

    Qui-Gon clenched his jaw at reading the datapad, then he very calmly got out of bed, intending to go back to his room that instant to go after Obi-Wan.

    "Qui..." Lana said warningly. "Get back in bed. Now." She glared at him.

    He folded his arms very stubbornly across his chest. "No," he said hoarsely.

    Kyran joined his wife at the door and raised an eyebrow. "You are not allowed to leave this room, my friend, until you have completely recovered. That's another two days
  13. Durhelediel Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 5, 2004
    star 3
    I'm so glad that you like it so far, Vader. Coming from you, that means so much to us. Really.

    So far, there haven't been any edits to the chapters, but those are coming up.

    We will PM to anyone a link to the unedited version should you want it since ffn is up and running again. :}
  14. Rogue_JediKnight Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 19, 2002
    star 3
    This is a little Master/Padawan challenge between ourselves....We ask our readers to help us judge on who tortures the best.

    Ah, an equal opportunity angst fest - interesting concept ;) - I like it, count me in!

    A great start, though I seriously doubt that a sleep suggestion and a locked door is going to keep our favorite stubborn and determined Jedi Master out of the game for long :D

    Can't wait for more.
    Rogue
  15. Durhelediel Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 5, 2004
    star 3
    Hahaha, you know Qui-Gon too well...as do we. Though he might surprise you in this series...quite a few times...

    Glad to have you on board with us, Rogue. :}
  16. PadawanEstel Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 23, 2004
    star 1
    Heehee... drunk abusive Jedi! Too funny...

    But Obi's gone! Oh no! Qui-Gon will not be pleased at all... He'll burst out of the Healer's with the IV still in his arm, I bet!



    Layren: Thanks for the welcome, and the offer!
  17. Durhelediel Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 5, 2004
    star 3
    Okay, this chapter had to be edited.

    Chapter Three

    Obi-Wan felt as if he had fallen ten stories from an extremely fast speeder. His brain did not want to seem to wake fully and his vision was slightly blurry. He saw people walking around him but couldn't place where he was or what he was doing there. He tried to move, but found that he was strapped down so tightly that he couldn't.

    "Ah, awake at last I see, young Kenobi. Welcome back to the land of the living." The voice that addressed him sounded both cold and amused at the same time. "How are you feeling?"

    Obi-Wan blinked but his vision did not clear. "I...can't see..."

    "Just giving you a bit of practice for how you'll have to learn to live without eyesight," the cold voice said as it jammed a neural stimulator directly into the padawan's eyes. "Have you ever heard of a neural stimulator?"

    Obi-Wan suddenly felt a chill run down his back. "No..." He didn't think he wanted to either.

    "Well, live and learn," the voice said. "The Jedi are always going on about learning something, aren't they?" He flicked on the red button on the thin silver rod that he held at Obi-Wan's eyes.

    It felt as if someone were melting his eyes. Obi-Wan's back arched and he screamed so loudly that he thought for sure that someone in the next ten blocks would hear him. The pain...all his world was pain... //Master...oh Force....the pain the pain the pain....Master help me help me the pain the pain....//

    "Well, I see we learned something today, didn't we, young one? So, not so arrogant after all, are we?" The rod was jammed into Obi-Wan's stomach next and the button was flicked without a second's hesitation.

    The pain moved to his stomach and he retched. It felt as if a white blossom of hot pain had struck his stomach muscles, clenching them so tightly that he was soon dry heaving with nothing left in his stomach at all.

    "Pain without bodily damage," the voice said cheerfully. "Most ingenious, don't you think? Deliberate stimulation of the nervous system." The man jammed the rod this time into Obi-Wan's foot and thumbed the button, sending a wave of pain shooting up through the padawan's body.

    Obi-Wan felt tears running down his face but his world was blackness. The pain hit his brain and he had just registered that it was located in his foot when he mercifully passed out.

    The man sighed deeply. "Blast. I wasn't ready for you to pass out yet." He reached for a stimulant and pressed the syringe into the padawan's arm. "You won't escape that easily, Jedi."

    Obi-Wan gasped as he was forced awake. "What in the Sith do you want?" was the first thing that Obi-Wan said as his addled brain told him that he had been out of it for not even ten seconds.

    "Tsk tsk, Kenobi, swear a Jedi should not," the voice said mockingly.

    "What do you want!" Obi-Wan bit out, almost in a shout. He felt mentally and physically exhausted, and pain radiated to him from every pore. He tried to accept it like a Jedi should, to make it part of himself, but he found he was too angry to focus properly. With an effort, he forced the anger down and away from himself.

    "For you to die," the cruel voice remarked pleasantly. The neural stimulator had been replaced by a long sliver of metal which he jammed into the padawan's side.

    Obi-Wan gasped. "Why..." he forced out, so low that it was nearly inaudible.

    "You kept me from getting something I wanted, Kenobi. You directed your Master's attention to me when he otherwise would've ignored what I was doing."

    Obi-Wan cried out. "I don't even know who you are! Pathetic to hurt someone who doesn't even know who you are," he gasped out. He prayed to the Force that if he irritated this man then perhaps he would be able to pass out.

    The man sighed, exasperated. "True indeed, young Kenobi. My name is Z'ahrien. If you don't remember me, that's too bad."

    Obi-Wan felt his eyes widen, though he still could not see. Remember Z'ahrien he did indeed. He had convinced Qui-Gon to prosecute Z'ahrien for what everyone e
  18. Kynstar Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 2, 2004
    star 5
    Arg! Boys and their stubborness! But that's all the same for everyone and their friends really.

    Great job!! Glad the 2 stood up for Qui :D :D Cuz I'm sure Qui would have left regardless of what the Council ordered. As if he ain't done it before! *snrk* hehehe

    :D So now we know who the baddie is. Hrmmm. Poor Obi!
  19. Rogue_JediKnight Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 19, 2002
    star 3
    Thanks for the welcome :D (I came in at the very end of Fire and Ice)

    Poor Obi, sounds like this is only the start of his physical ouchies [face_mischief]

    And of course Qui-Gon has to go! Sheesh, I'm ready to call out the National Guard when my son doesn't answer his cell phone so I can only imagine [face_worried] :_|

    Rogue

    PS: I love the quick updates!
  20. Durhelediel Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 5, 2004
    star 3
    Kynstar - yeah even though they were upset with each other, they still got each other's backs, ya know? True friends, through and through.

    Rogue - ::glances at the date of the last post and today's:: um, quick posts...yeah...lol I'm trying. I beta for us and I'm currently writing a solo Obi fic that is really rolling! So I'm trying to get the other chapter of this one up. Hard to do when I also have around 100 pages of college American Lit to read a night. lol

    It should be up in just another day or two at most.
  21. Durhelediel Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 5, 2004
    star 3
    This chapter has been edited for board rating purposes.

    Chapter Four

    Obi-Wan fought against the stimulant. He knew pain was at the end of wakefulness and he didn't want to feel it. Desperately, he clung to the Force, hoping to stay unconscious, but then he felt himself slipping more in the Force than he wanted. With a shock, he realized that he was dying.

    With a jerk, he let go and let the stimulant slam him awake. His whole body ached, but not as bad as he thought. He could taste bacta on his tongue, though he could not see still.

    Z'aherin smiled tightly, seeing the young Jedi waken. "So glad you decided to rejoin us. I didn't want to let you slip away so easily, young Jedi."

    Obi-Wan wanted to shudder, but had literally no strength to do so. Every slow movement was an effort that felt as if it would push him back into unconsciousness. "Let me go." His voice was hoarse and low but he knew that Z'aherin heard him.

    "Oh, I'll let you go eventually, but perhaps not where you wish to go," he said wickedly.

    Obi-Wan tried to squirm out of his tight bonds, yet found no purchase. He was tired, but he focused somewhere inside of himself and pushed the man away from him. "Stay...away..."

    Z'aherin stumbled a few feet, but soon recovered himself. "You will pay most dearly for that trick, Kenobi." He picked up a small cylinder and adjusted a knob on the side. A small jet of flame shot out which he adjusted to suit his purposes. He held the two inch flame at the Padawan's side.

    Obi-Wan tried to yell but his voice cracked and would make no noise. The heat felt like the time he had spilled two chemicals in one of his classes together that had flamed in his face. He tried to focus to push Z'aherin away again, but could barely keep his consciousness.

    Z'aherin moved the torch slowly along the padawan's side, admiring the effect it was having on his prisoner. This boy would pay for what he had done.

    With a sudden burst of desperation, Obi-Wan held himself away from the blissful darkness. He was tiring of being this man's object of torture. It was time to see if he would be one with the Force, or if the Force would spare him. With an actual physical grunt, Obi-Wan formed the Force around himself like a miniature shield which shoved Z'aherin against what sounded like a wall by the thud. The shield flickered, then went out as Obi-Wan sagged, totally spent. At least he knew he had died fighting like a Jedi, he thought as he passed into the arms of unconsciousness once again.

    Z'aherin glared at the apprentice as he was pushed across the room and hit the opposite wall again. His charge had passed out, yet he was unconcerned at the moment. He frowned thoughtfully, studying the many options he had available to him. He reached out and selected a box after replacing the torch back on his table and turning it off. He opened the box and smiled at what he saw inside. Thousands of silver needles that were perfect for probing nerves. Grimly the man took a pinch of the flesh on Obi-Wan's right foot. He jammed the needles into the boy's tender flesh one by one. When he was finished, he surveyed his handiwork. The boy's foot was a forest of silver needles.

    --------

    Suddenly, Obi-Wan could see again. Curiously, he was floating above himself, watching Z'aherin cover his nerves with silver needles. He winced, though he didn't feel the pain. That would hurt when he woke up.

    He glanced down at his unconscious self. He had to admit that he had looked better. He sighed, feeling tired, then actually took a look at himself. His eyes widened in shock. He was transparent, though he seemed solid enough. Was he...dead?

    No, he assured himself as he saw his body's chest rise in a shallow breath, but he was close to it. Curious...his master had never told him about something like this. //Master, help me...//

    //Padawan!? Where are you?// Qui-Gon glanced over at his companions, then ignored them completely as he waited for Obi-Wan's answer.

    Obi-Wan turned his back on Z'aherin and whatever th
  22. Kynstar Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 2, 2004
    star 5
    Poor Obi! Well at least he was able to contact Qui.

    Poor Qui too! Well he's lucky Kyran is there to help him work off his anxieties! Great update! :D :D
  23. Rogue_JediKnight Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 19, 2002
    star 3
    With everything it sounds like you have going on I'm amazed and greatful that you're still getting this posted at all so yeah, I still consider this a quick post ;)

    I agree though, poor Obi - but I guess I'll have to wander over to the other site to check out what really happened [face_mischief] O:)

    Rogue
  24. Layren Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2003
    star 5
    Kynstar Yep! Good old Kyran... ow! He didn't like me calling him old I suppose. That's his problem ;)
    Glad you liked it! My padawan and I really appreciate all your comments :D

    Rogue_JediKnight Hehe. well this one's already finished. We finished it before she started working on these other ones. We try hard not to put things up unless it's done--the original Fire and Ice was one exception to that rule. It just need's beta'ing that's all. Feel free to check the other out ;) Thanks for the comments! Glad you're enjoying it! I even enjoyed hurting poor Obi-Wan this time around cause I knew that she'd have to try to think of something better for Qui later ;)
  25. Durhelediel Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 5, 2004
    star 3
    Kynstar- Yeah, Obi had a moment of revelation there. We were going for a slight foreshadowing of 'A New Hope' and where he gets himself absorbed into the Force. It was only slight though, so it's okay if no one else caught it. lol We are the authors, after all, and we see stuff that probably no one will lol

    Rogue - aww thanks Rogue. Yes, regardless of what others think, I'm extremely busy with a 6 day class (where it's usually a full semester) so I'm cramming this in at night when I can't sleep. Tomorrow I go to the doc to see if I have a sleep disorder so hopefully I'll be able to sleep more after this, though that might mean fewer posts for a bit. Also, since Layren is right that I am our beta, I am going off to Boston for a week (starting the 27th) so I'm frantically trying to get all of what we have for Hindsight up. I might get the next one, Fire and Ice:Trials up, but might just wait, not wanting to leave our readers hanging for soooo long.

    Ya'll tell me what you think ???
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