Saga First Knight - June 6th -Where He Belongs - COMPLETE

I'd forgotten about Oppo and how he has it in for Obi-Wan. Good for Yoda for shutting him up about the children training issue.

I'm very worried about what will happen to Obi-Wan and Anakin and also those they left behind! More soon please?

 

Okay, so I just read through it all and I've finally got caught up. But I'm off to bed, so I'll leave a detailed response later.

Anyway, quickly said, this was wonderful, I wonder what's up with Oppo and I liked that bit with Anakin at the end. And I'll get to Obi-Wan tomorrow.

 

About to put up a new post then off to bed as I'm incredibly tired for some reason.

Sabe Thanks, Sabe!

Good for Yoda for shutting him up about the children training issue.

That's Yoda for ya!

Alethia Thanks, Alethia!

Okay, so I just read through it all and I've finally got caught up. But I'm off to bed, so I'll leave a detailed response later.

That's where I'm off to as I can barely keep my eyes open but wanted to get this post up.

 

First Knight - Part Sixty-Two

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Although it was the middle of the night, Sinja-Bau was awake but it was not because she was unable to sleep. With the merest flicker of her consciousness she could instantly be sound asleep if she wished. She was awake because it was at this time, when all who lived inside the manor were deep within their private dreams that she could give herself fully up to the Force. No longer distracted by the feelings and needs of those around her, she could immerse herself in that which she had thought never to experience again.

The Force flowed into her like water filling a jug and she was both herself and much, much more. And, although grief over her former padawan?s death still circled about her awareness like a predator pacing about the perimeter of an encampment, for the first time, in a long time, Sinja-Bau knew peace.

She drew in and released long, cleansing breaths, her gaze fastened on the ceiling above her and she thought of Obi-Wan and how he had searched for her when common sense should have told him that his chances of finding her were a million to one. But it was his passionate love for Onara that, she imagined, had caused him to examine those odds and promptly dismiss them.

A smile creased her lips. Obi-Wan, whose very existence embodied all that was good and true and noble about the Jedi Order possessed a heart that, as a result, more than likely, of the avant-garde teachings of his former master, Qui-Gon Jinn, was far larger than the Order and all its doctrines.

She wondered if Obi-Wan even knew how powerful a Jedi he had become as a result of his love for Onara and their children. The ideology of the Jedi Order, which had been indoctrinated into him from infancy, would not, she knew, allow him to even consider the possibility, for he had brushed off what he'd done in saving Onara's life by healing that fatal wound about her throat as if it were nothing, seemingly unaware that no Jedi healer Sinja-Bau knew of, including herself, could have done it.

And it was the power of his love, which was not the nebulous compassion that the Order encouraged all Jedi to feel toward all living things, but a tangible and specific love directed at one person that had given the Jedi Knight the power to fend off death and save his beloved.

The Jedi Order feared such consuming love, Sinja-Bau knew, because it was often a path to the dark side. And well they should fear it for she was also not naïve. She knew there was a shadow side to such love; jealously, greed, resentment and mistrust. But the Jedi Order had focused only on the dark side of the equation. They had not examined the other side of love; the qualities of self-sacrifice, trust, faith and hope, which, Sinja-Bau had witnessed with Obi-Wan, gave potency to the light side of the Force in a way that rivaled the power of any of the Ancients and made the Force itself powerful enough to stave off death.

Something nudged against Sinja-Bau?s awareness; a faint disturbance in the Force. She immediately focused on the twins but Ben and Sari were all right, both asleep in the nursery. She allowed herself to bask for a moment in the innocent radiance of their Force auras. Then she shifted her attention to the other person in the manor whose well being had become as important to her as that of the babies.

Onara was awake and she was in distress.

Sinja-Bau quickly rose from her bed, put on her robe and left her room. The manor was quiet and the hallways were only lit with small glow lamps. The Assembly guards had finally left when it was determined that the danger was past and there would be no more attacks.

Sinja-Bau sensed that Onara was not in her chamber. She reached out with the Force. The young woman was outside. Sinja-Bau went down the main staircase, out through the huge front doors and took the path that led down to the family mausoleum. The sky was clear and full of stars although the moon had set some time ago. She could just make out a slender shape next to the large, stone edifice. She went

 

Wow...I hope and don't hope Palpatine's able to help, all at once.

 

Doh!

Left me hanging again! He's going to be expelled? Sheesh. I'm not sure I'd want to be a Jedi either. Poor Obi.

 

They can't expel Obi-Wan!!!!!!!!!!! But then he would be free to be with Onara and the children which we would all love but it isn't what he would want (I am getting so carried away here!)

Palpatine's so called help is only to fuel his own agenda and the Council will not take kindly to any interference.

Can't wait to see what happens next!

 

What a chapter! Beautiful, but so sad- but I am sooo happy Orana decided not to marry again! YEAH!

As for Obi-Wan, I was not expecting an expulsion! I thought they would give him a lesser punishment...but maybe, maybe, this is just a rouse? I don't know, maybe he has been given an undercover mission...you know, a "fallen" Jedi might be a bait for the Sith lord, who might try to use the resentment the other is feeling to turn him to the dark Side.

However, I would prefer to see Obi-Wan return to Onara and be helped by his former Jedi friend...she could make him see he will always be a Jedi in his heart, no matter what the Council decided.
And, of course, since I AM NOT a Jedi and appreciate a little bit of revenge, I would like to see the Council go to beg for Obi-Wan's help in a moment of need...*evil grin*

Well done!

I just hope to read more soon for I am quite addicted!

 

if they strip him of his Force powers i'm going to kill them....

Don't listen to palpy, Ani!

 

Poor Onara...she knows something is up from her dreams, but hope it is only dreams.

You know... he could go back to her if he does get expelled...but he'd never be the same. The Order was everything to him. Poor Obi...

This is gonna be interesting... if Palps pulls this off. Though he is right. The Jedi are their own. The Senate has lil if any influence over them. As of right now... Bwhahahaha Soon though...soon the shroud of the Dark Side will lift and... Sorry rambling there!

Great job! Poor thing... not going to accept the young man's offer to wed. Good thing in case Obi does come back

 

That was a nice change from the original -
HOWL!!!!!!!

 

Those last two posts were amazing. i really hope obi-wan doesnt' really get expelled...

why does it feel like this is nearing the end of the story?

i hope not

 

Wow!! I certainly wasn't expecting him to be expelled. That was quite a change from the pervious ending.


As for Anakin, I hope they let him see Obi-Wan. I almost hope Anakin leaves the Order himself and goes with Obi-Wan.


Great writing. Can't wait for more.

 

I have to offer my most sincere apologies. I had written responses to everyone's comments but I somehow hit the wrong button and lost them all and now I'm running late for work.

Thanks so much, DarthIshtar, Errine 23, Sabe, Gen Massimo, Darshaassant, Kynstar, ForceAchtungbaby, Tinuviel_Jyana and Jedi Master Jen for responding. I really do appreciate it.

Generally speaking in response to your comments, I will say that I had no idea I was going to expell Obi-Wan from the Order or that Onara would refuse to marry Dalan, as she had in the previous version. It was that darn Muse of mine. Seeing ROTS really sparked a lot of ideas in my brain and helped to fuel the new version of the end of this fic and a host of ideas for the brand spanking new sequel.

As for the next post, I'm probably setting myself up for failure but my goal is to wrap this fic up this weekend. We shall see.

Again, so sorry I wasn't able to respond individually to your comments (Darn keyboard! ) but gotta get in the car soon and start my oh so lovely morning commute. Not!

 

Way to go Onara! I'm glad she isn't marrying Dalan just because some dignitaries are afraid of a woman running her own province. I think she and the children will do just fine on their own, and Sinja-Bau is awesome! A mother/grandmother figure for Onara and the children to look to.

I wonder if Obi-Wan will return to Ahjane. I can't wait to see if Anakin will actually talk Yoda into allowing him to see his master.

I know Obi-Wan wants Anakin to finish his training and become a Knight, but is it more from the promise he made to Qui-Gon and that he doesn't want to fail his former master in the task he was assigned or is it because of the prophecy of the Chosen One?

I think with his expulsion, he already has failed in his promise to Qui-Gon as his master requested that he himself train Anakin, not another master.

And if it's because of the prophesy, well, Anakin can still fulfill that even if he isn't a part of the Order any more.

Anakin respects Obi-Wan, I think, but it would be cool to see the conversation between them if he gets to see him. With Obi-Wan having been expelled, there isn't a whole lot holding Anakin to the Jedi any more.

Great post! I didn't respond to the last one, but I enjoyed it just as much! Keep up the good work!

 

I keep seeing references to the 'previous' version of this story. I would love to read it. Is there a place that it is posted online?

 

Well, that's exciting. I'm glad you're going to end it differently than you did last time... that means it will feel new instead of feeling like i've read it before... although... this is one of those few fics i'd want to print out and read over and over and throw at other people who don't necessarily read fan fiction and force them to read.

 

I cannot but agree with Errine23: all these references to a "previous" version are making me curious! Is it possible to read this old version somewhere?

 

I'm still on track and hoping to get this fic wrapped up this weekened.

Bekah K Thanks, Bekah!

I know Obi-Wan wants Anakin to finish his training and become a Knight, but is it more from the promise he made to Qui-Gon and that he doesn't want to fail his former master in the task he was assigned or is it because of the prophecy of the Chosen One?

That's an excellent question and one I have pondered myself. I'm thinking it's both if that makes any sense. I think Obi-Wan feels obligated to both Qui-Gon and the Jedi Order, though sometimes I wonder if Obi-Wan embraced the prophecy of the Chosen One as completely as Qui-Gon did.

I think with his expulsion, he already has failed in his promise to Qui-Gon as his master requested that he himself train Anakin, not another master.

Another good point. An upcoming scene will address this to some extent.

Anakin respects Obi-Wan, I think, but it would be cool to see the conversation between them if he gets to see him. With Obi-Wan having been expelled, there isn't a whole lot holding Anakin to the Jedi any more.

That conversation will be in the next post. Actually, I'm having to totally write, not just re-write, the ending since I changed it so completely from the previous version.

Great post! I didn't respond to the last one, but I enjoyed it just as much! Keep up the good work!

Thanks! And, hey, I appreciate it whenever someone takes the time to respond. We're all busy people, I know, what with work or school or family or whatever occupies our time so I appreciate it very much when people take the time to respond. Even if it's just a little, hey, I'm reading.

Errine23 and Gen Massino

Below is the link to the previous version of the fic. It may take a while to come up as it's on the old board,. To be honest I'm kind of embarrased to post the link because I wrote the fic three years ago and I'd like to think I've become somewhat of a better writer. At least I'd like to think I have.

First Knight-Previous Version

Tinuviel_Jyana Well, that's exciting. I'm glad you're going to end it differently than you did last time... that means it will feel new instead of feeling like i've read it before... although...

And I'm also writing a completely brand new sequel, meaning that events will unfold in a completely different way in the sequel I have planned for this fic. To be honest I was never really happy with the original sequel to First Knight. So, if you read that one, just pretend the events in it never happened. Kind of like that infamous episode of "Dallas" when it was revealed that a main character hadn't really died. It had all been just a dream.

this is one of those few fics i'd want to print out and read over and over and throw at other people who don't necessarily read fan fiction and force them to read

Thank you! And that's such a sweet thing to say. You know I've had this discussion abut fan fic with some folks and they really don't want to believe that there are some really amazing and talented writers of fan fiction out there and that, although there are still arguments about the legality of fan fiction, I think fan fiction is really just keeping alive the old tradition of folk-telling, the way stories used to be told, passed on from one community to another, from one generation to another, with each storyteller adding his or her own elements and persepctive and interpretation.

It's in our genetic code to write fanfiction!

 

Arwyn_Whitesun,

thanks for posting the link to the first version. However, in the end I decided not to read it, because I like this new version too much and do not wish to compare the two stories.
Also, as a fellow writer, I perfectly understand your being embarrassed. I've been writing fiction for about ten years and I cringe when I read some of my past works...

So now I will look forward to this story's end and the sequel you are planning- which I hope you will start posting soon.

 

Gen Massimo However, in the end I decided not to read it, because I like this new version too much and do not wish to compare the two stories

I totally understand. The main difference, plot-wise, between the two versions is that Onara has only one child, Ben, in the original version instead of the twins, and there are some incidents that I either removed or added, and of course, the ending will be different but not much else is different between the two versions (except I, hoped, made it read better as I rewrote it) other than the new ending I've come up with.

So now I will look forward to this story's end and the sequel you are planning- which I hope you will start posting soon

Actually, I already have the first scene for the sequel plotted out in my head. Not sure when I'll start posting it, though, but will let you know.

 

I personally like to pride myself as a writer (english major, concentration writing... that would be me)... but I have never been able to stay focused on fanfiction enough to finish something. I need to poke myself to remind myself I have my own story to write... then again with the stress that is work, I haven't really been all that into what I need to be doing.

But yes, there are some brilliant writers in fanfiction out there... they're just very hard to find. But the ones that I have found, I support whole-heartedly Because as a writer myself, I love the art

I can't wait til the next post!

 

Arwyn_Whitesun,

*cough* As I said above, I did not read the first version of First Knight....but I could not resist the temptation of reading its sequesl, Stars in the Darkness and even if it is a wonderful, beautifully written story, I REALLY REALLY hope the new sequel will be different!!! I don't remember the last time I cried so much reading a story!! Buuuhhhhh!! what a sad end! I truly hope you will go for something "lighter" this time...Put all the action/intrigue/adventure you wish in it but please-please-please give us a happy end!!!!!
I don't care if it turns to be the most AU you can think of - where Anakin is going to cut Palpatine in pieces, Padme becomes the supreme Chancellor, Yoda learns to properly talk and Master Oppo becomes a nice person- I just want to see Obi-Wan, Orana and the children happy...REALLY happy (so no "I am a Jedi and I happy just being one with the force" happiness, please!).
UFF! Done!
I apologize if I was carried away, but I hope you understand I did so only because I am soooo wrapped in your wonderful story. I certainly don't behave like this stories I don't care for...

 

Here it is Saturday afternoon and I'm still not done with all my household chores which I had neglected the past few weekends what with conferences and conventions. (Taking a little break to check emails) So I probably won't get a post up until later Sunday evening or early Monday. But the end is in sight. I promise.

Tinuviel_Jyana I need to poke myself to remind myself I have my own story to write... then again with the stress that is work, I haven't really been all that into what I need to be doing.

I can totally relate! When I was unemployed, I had plenty of time to write but had to deal with stress of not having any money. Now, I have money (well, not that much, enough to pay bills at least) but no time. *sigh*

Gen Massimo but I could not resist the temptation of reading its sequesl, Stars in the Darkness and even if it is a wonderful, beautifully written story, I REALLY REALLY hope the new sequel will be different!!!

Oh, wow. Did you read that? The sequel I have planned is going to be quite different from that one. I almost wished I could take it off the boards somehow because when I wrote it in 2002 I was in a very strange place at the time as you could probably tell from the fic.

I don't care if it turns to be the most AU you can think of - where Anakin is going to cut Palpatine in pieces, Padme becomes the supreme Chancellor, Yoda learns to properly talk and Master Oppo becomes a nice person- I just want to see Obi-Wan, Orana and the children happy...REALLY happy (so no "I am a Jedi and I happy just being one with the force" happiness, please!).

Well, my Muse (I always refer to her when I talk about writing because I feel I can always blame her if something doesn't work in a story ) can be very strange as to what ideas she will give me. I will say that she is already hinting that she wants to put Obi-Wan, Onara, Anakin and everyone else in the fic through some rough times before she even considers giving any of them a happy ending, but that's just the way her rather twisted mind goes.

I apologize if I was carried away, but I hope you understand I did so only because I am soooo wrapped in your wonderful story. I certainly don't behave like this stories I don't care for...

Oh, no, please don't apologize. I'm quite touched that you were carried away enough to let me know how you felt. Thank you, seriously, for being such an involved reader.

 

Awww...darn.