Before - Legends First Thorns Obi/Qui JA (chap3 up 21/12)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Stella_Ripple, Dec 18, 2005.

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  1. Stella_Ripple Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jul 29, 2005
    star 3
    Title First Thorns
    Author Stella Ripple
    Genre angst/romance/mush
    Timeframe JA obi is 19
    Summary Just my take on how obi's first romance might have been.
    Disclaimer Nope, still not mine *sigh*


    Part One

    Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi focused on the tips of his newly polished boots, noting carefully how, if he shifted his feet ever so slightly the left corner of his right boot covered the right corner of his left boot completely- thus establishing they were indeed a pair.

    ?Padawan!?

    The sharp bark drew him out of his investigation with all the efficiency of a splash of cold water. The thought of which made Obi-Wan shoot a nervous glance towards the little rivulet they were standing by before turning to his teacher. He shivered. He knew, none better, his Master?s penchant for the more direct approach to a lesson.

    ?Padawan, perhaps when you are finished contemplating the congruency of your footwear, you would let me know? It isn?t urgent of course, but perhaps, at you leisure, of course, we could eventually finish discussing the preparations for the State Banquet tonight??

    Obi-Wan flushed in shame at the tone in his teacher?s voice, missing the amused little twinkle that lit up his eyes. It was rarely that he made a dent in his Master?s vast reserve of calm; but it seemed to him that, already on this mission, he?d had reason to hear a sarcastic tone replace the gentle teasing he had grown used to more often than in the course of his entire apprenticeship.

    Yet what was infinitely more galling was that his Master was more than justified in his behaviour. After all, he had every right to expect more self-control from one who was on the verge of his senior padawanship- certainly his master deserved better from his Padawan.
    Falling gracefully to his knees in front of the man he respected above any other, Obi Wan bowed his head penitently, remorse pouring out of him in waves, as was evident enough in every dejected line in his body.

    Qui-Gon looked down at the Padawan at his feet and for a moment forgot all his previous irritation. For just that moment the young man at his feet was replaced by the memory of a miscreant toddler from long ago. The Padawan?s expression at his inattention towards his Master?s teachings was startlingly similar to the little boy?s expression at running away from his crèche masters.

    Qui-Gon sighed as, almost against his better judgment, he yielded to the fatherly instinct that prompted him to rest his hands lightly against the soft spikes. It hurt him to have to once more rebuke Obi Wan- knowing the boy was better than this- but he knew had to, just as well as he knew the reason for his distraction. The air around them became heavy with the weight of unuttered conversation.

    ?Obi-Wan??

    He broke off as he caught a sharp intake of breath and through the Force, felt his Padawan?s pulse spike just a little. Knowing that whatever punishment Obi-Wan could have expected for a relatively minor infraction could not have garnered such a response, he frowned. Noticing how Obi-Wan?s head tilted involuntarily as the reddish tints swept through his fingers and eyes glazed over as they went up and over his own shoulder, he twisted around to see what had once again turned his apprentice?s attention from himself.

    Seeing the vision behind them, he froze for a fraction of second, before snatching his hand up, as if scalded by the red gold spikes, and turned around to bow deeply. Out of the corner of his eyes, he noted his apprentice scrambling up to follow suit.

    ?Your Highness.? He pronounced the title crisply and without any inflection. Only those who knew him well would have realized his back was a little too rigid and voices just a fraction too polite and that his lower jaw had tightened with the words. Master Jinn didn?t pretend to miss the cursory nod he himself received, or the way the young Princess?s eyes travelled up and down his spellbound Padawan?s body; nor did he fail to observe the way Obi-Wan?s mouth hu
  2. Kestrel_Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 26, 2005
    star 4
    Ah, lovely Stella. Glad to see this up. Such wonderful imagery...I do feel for Qui-Gon.

    Had it not been furthest from his mind just then, displaced under the new intoxication of other thoughts, Obi-Wan might have turned once before he disappeared behind the blooming bushes to see his master gazing after him.

    He might then have found himself hard pressed to recognize the irate Master in the grieving Father that stood there.


    :( =D=

    Looking forward to the next part!
  3. Star_Drifter Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jul 18, 2005
    star 3
    Had it not been furthest from his mind just then, displaced under the new intoxication of other thoughts, Obi-Wan might have turned once before he disappeared behind the blooming bushes to see his master gazing after him.

    He might then have found himself hard pressed to recognize the irate Master in the grieving Father that stood there.


    :( Poor Qui-Gon! Obi-Wan didn't even notice that he left!

    Remember the Code, Obi-Wan! Remember the Code! [face_praying]

    A very interesting start, SR! [face_batting]

    Star
  4. obi_webb Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 4, 2005
    star 4
    good to see you got this posted! :D
    wonderful start! loved the opening with obi absorbed in his boots, and qui-gon's line.. ?Padawan, perhaps when you are finished contemplating the congruency of your footwear, you would let me know? It isn?t urgent of course, but perhaps, at you leisure, of course, we could eventually finish discussing the preparations for the State Banquet tonight??
    and then obi and the princess.... quite intersting! LOVE qui's reaction to them too!
    looking forward to the update!
    =D=
  5. KELIA Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 26, 2005
    star 6
    Glad to see you posted this.

    And poor Obi-Wan, so caught up in the Princess he doesn't even notice when Qui-Gon leaves...

    Great story!

    =D= =D= =D= =D=
  6. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    Beautiful imagery and use of language! =D= Simply lovely!
  7. Healer_Leona Squirrely Community Mod

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    A lovely start Stella. I look forward to seeing more. :)
  8. Fluff-Slayer Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jun 12, 2005
    star 2
    Very, very interesting, Mischief. Obi-Wan all starry-eyed. [face_thinking] Could be fun.

    I don't understand why Qui-Gon is angry, though. Seems to me that he'd be more amused than anything...

    Update soon, please! =D=

  9. Princess_Arulmozhi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 16, 2004
    star 4
    Ooh, great start. I wonder how this is going to go... :)
  10. Gkilkenny Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4


    this is great[face_dancing]
    The worrying father his child is smitten
    by first love, and probably first heartbreak
    Qui-Gon will have to pick up the pieces
    Great start=D=
  11. Stella_Ripple Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jul 29, 2005
    star 3
    Kes Thanks for reading! Glad you liked :D

    Star Give him time, I'm almost sure obi will come around ;) :)

    obi Yeah, I liked obi's intitial observation, mainly b/c it was based on one of my own! ;)

    Kelia Thank you! And thank you so much for helping with this [:D] Even if you did leave me with some rabid plot bunnies in the process!

    VaderLVR [face_blush] Aww, thank you!

    Leona Thank you! And I really appreciated your help earlier!

    Fluffy:rolleyes: yes obi the starry eyed one- how very appropriate! :p Thanks for reading. As for Qui's anger, I hope future posts will make his protective attitude more believable

    P_AYou're about to find out :)

    GilkennyHow astute of you! Are you sure you haven't peeked at my plans ;) Seriously, I'm glad Qui's emotions made sense to you! Hope you like the next bit!
  12. Stella_Ripple Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jul 29, 2005
    star 3
    Part two

    Qui-Gon paced the balcony of the Royal Guest Suite with all the tranquility of a hungry Gwanno cub. The sound of his impatient heels tailed the Master?s every move as they made their mark on the marble. Click. Click. Turn. Click. Click. Stomp Turn.

    Out of the corner of his eye he spied his Padawan approaching. Watching him stroll through the garden, as at peace with the galaxy as any newly ordained monk, Master Jinn was forced to reiterate the ancient Jedi wisdom that ran strongly through the Line of Yoda. ?Grit one?s teeth, a Jedi should not. No reason there is in it, and an unseemly figure you will become.? It might have worked for the sages but Qui-Gon begged to differ- there seemed reason aplenty in it right now.

    Trying not to dwell on the less than Jedi-like thoughts that had suddenly beset him, he concentrated on how to appear nonchalant and erase all clues that might give away what he had indulged in, in the last half hour. Scanning the room with eyes and instinct honed from years of experience on the field, he quickly sought out his two most useful tools, armed with a fully formed plan on how best to use them.

    Within two minutes he had dragged the armchair away from the balcony, flung himself in it and proceeded to bury his beard behind a newspad. The swish of the door announced the Padawan?s entrance, but his Master seemed too deeply immersed in the Senate Reporter to take heed. The apprentice, on the other hand, had an excellent opportunity to study his mentor.

    Ever the dutiful student, Obi-Wan stood there, waiting, while a growing smirk spread across his lips. ?Good Afternoon Master. I hope I?m not intruding. I can tell from the intense concentration that pad is being subjected to, that the Senate must have doubtlessly and unexpectedly performed some exemplary deed. Surely there can be no other reason that can possibly induce my master, the ultimate evader of all things political, to study the Senate news so diligently, despite the slight hindrance a terminated pad can be.?

    Obi-Wan managed to finish with a suspiciously straight face, despite the undignified noise?it couldn?t be a snort?that interrupted him.

    He managed not to flinch when Qui-Gon stood up to his full regal standing height, before painstakingly putting away the aforementioned datapad aside. Yet the smirk lessened slightly as he continued. ?I gather from your extreme cheerfulness my very young apprentice, that the lovely Princess was able to help with your analytical skills??

    It wasn?t even a mild reproach, but that was all the reminder Obi-Wan needed.
    ?Forgive me, Master. My behaviour this morning was entirely inappropriate. I apologize. Its just when the Princess appears I??

    ?I understand.? Qui-Gon stopped him. A Jedi he may be, but he knew his own limits and handling an apprentice waxing poetical, as would have certainly been the case if not for his timely interruption, simply refused to come within those.

    ?Padawan.? For a moment, Qui-Gon looked at the youth in front of him, allowing his eyes to linger on the lengthening braid and the numerous beads.

    ?Come. Sit down beside me.?

    He hid a smile as his Padawan did a commendable impression of the proverbial rabbit in front of the shiplights before almost tripping over his own feet in his haste to comply. Letting a hand rest on the shoulder brushing his own, he sighed. It was in moments like these that he forgot his Padawan?s maturity, when that endearing clumsiness (he was sure Obi-Wan wouldn?t agree with the term) was reminiscent of his all too short childhood.

    Yet, feeling the strong muscles that had instinctively relaxed at his touch, he was forced, for the first time, to truly admit that his Obi-Wan was fast approaching manhood and part of that was going to involve him making his own decisions.
    It was natural. Such was life. He knew that. But?

    ?Be wary Padawan. Your feelings for the Princess run strong. It could be detrimental to your training.?

    He felt Obi-Wan tense, but a slight pressure on his shoulder
  13. Kestrel_Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 26, 2005
    star 4
    This is very sweet. You always write Qui and Obi so wonderfully - I loved it all.

    In those precious, irretrievable moments, the ones that marked a point of no return, the ones that Qui-Gon, however hard he tried, could never bring back- the father knew that the inevitable had happened. His son had grown up.

    I trust you my son


    :_|:) =D=
  14. LilQui-Gon Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jul 29, 2004
    star 2
    AWWWW! Please do continue. I'm into it so far. [face_love]
  15. Star_Drifter Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jul 18, 2005
    star 3
    He managed not to flinch when Qui-Gon stood up to his full regal standing height, before painstakingly putting away the aforementioned datapad aside. Yet the smirk lessened slightly as he continued. ?I gather from your extreme cheerfulness my very young apprentice, that the lovely Princess was able to help with your analytical skills??

    [face_not_talking] Of course, Qui-Gon! It was the highlight of his day! ;)

    Obi-Wan must make his own decisions. I hope that you and the Jedi have trained him well enough that he will make the right choice! :)

    Very interesting, and I look forward to reading more! [face_batting]

    Star
  16. nickenobi-nz Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Dec 14, 2005
    star 1
    This is great!!

    Awww, first love, it's so lovely, but so often ends in heartbreak. At least Qui-Gon is around to help. [:D]
  17. Valairy Scot Backpacking One Pack a Day Mod of New Films

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 6
    I like, I like! Eagerly awaiting the next part.
  18. KELIA Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 26, 2005
    star 6
    Awwww...so sweet.

    Qui-Gon's attempt to protect Obi-Wan just melts my heart.

    Great Job!!

    =D= =D= =D= =D=
  19. Stella_Ripple Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jul 29, 2005
    star 3
    Kes Thanks Sis, I'm glad you think so, especially since I worry that I may go a little overboard with the mush factor ;)

    LilQui-GonThank you! I'll have more up soon *crosses fingers*

    StarWhat a lovely loyal reader you are! [:D] I love your comments- you pick some lil bit of my story and let me know that someone has reacted exactly I wanted them to!!! Hope the next bit doesn't disappoint!

    nickenobi-nz Ah, there's my summary writer! :p You're absolutely right, and have managed to put my story in a nutshell! I guess all I have to do is supply the trimmings!

    Val I'm working on it right now and trying very hard not to get distracted(see my sig lol-thanks for sticking with this! )

    Kelia Oh good, that's my good deed of the day done! :p
  20. Knock_Out Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Dec 14, 2005
    That was great! I love your descriptions. They're so vivid and very interesting to read. Normally, I don't enjoy reading about Obi-Wan falling in love with any one, but this might be an exception since it's so in character. =D=

    I couldn't help but think of the comparison between how Obi-Wan reacted to Qui-Gon's concern versus Obi-Wan doing the same thing with Anakin.

    Again, awesome job! I hope to read the next chapter soon!
  21. Gkilkenny Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4


    such a sweet relationship
    between Qui-Gon and Obi-wan

    Lovely post =D=
  22. obi_webb Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 4, 2005
    star 4
    loved the update stella! you write qui and obi's relationship beautifully!
    Scanning the room with eyes and instinct honed from years of experience on the field, he quickly sought out his two most useful tools, armed with a fully formed plan on how best to use them. his armchair and the newspad! THAT was good!
    and i loved.. ?I understand.? Qui-Gon stopped him. A Jedi he may be, but he knew his own limits and handling an apprentice waxing poetical, as would have certainly been the case if not for his timely interruption, simply refused to come within those.
    l loved how you show qui's frustration still coming through with that line!
    and ANOTHER part i loved...... y'know how bout i just quote the WHOLE THING! OR i just say that you did a fantastic job as usual and i look forward to more? :D







  23. Healer_Leona Squirrely Community Mod

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    ?These feelings may hurt your training, but more importantly, to me, they may hurt you,? he finished quietly.

    Awww, I knew that was a great part of Qui-Gon's mood.

    A lovely post Stella.
  24. Jennifer_Lyn Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 8, 2005
    star 4
    hmm, don't seem to remember you mentioning this one...

    get me on the pm list for this! lovely job, m'dear. you've got such a great handle on these two and i just love your descriptions.
  25. Stella_Ripple Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jul 29, 2005
    star 3
    Knock_Out I'm so glad you're giving this one a chance [:D] Normally I'm the same way about obi romance, but this little one was just begging to be written! Hope the next bit doesn't disappoint!

    Gilkenny Yes, this is the way I think it would have been like- I'm glad you think so and are continuing to read!!

    obi Well, they are negotiators- they do have to think on their feet lol! Glad you liked!

    Leona Yes well, it is too be expected you would guess Qui's motivations :p

    J_L Ooh thanks so much for hunting this up! [face_blush] You know you helped with a lot of that particular skill!
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