Flames of Fear (JA)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Firedrake88, May 2, 2002.

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  1. Firedrake88 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 25, 2001
    star 1
    Hi everyone! I'm finally back with another story! Actually, I finished writing this story quite a while ago, but I didn't post it 'cause I was planning on going back and changing/editing some stuff. Since then I have gotten sidetracked with many other SW stories (all five of which are WIPs) and haven't gotten back to it. I've meant to, several times, but it just hasn't happened. Considering that, I've decided to post it as it is. I wasn't going to change anything major, and instead I might write a short sequel. *shrugs* That might be a while though, 'cause I'm working on other stuff.

    Anyway, this story starts off rather slowly but it does get more interesting (at least I hope it does!) so please keep reading (don't make me beg!)

    Any and all typos are my fault and my fault alone...if you see any major ones that completely destroy the meaning of the sentence, please do tell me and I will change them. =D

    Enjoy! (I hope!)

    Title: Flames of Fear
    Author: Erika
    Rating: PG-13
    Summary: After a particularly traumatic mission, Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi respond to a distress signal that will take them to a planet where Obi-Wan's fears will lead him to believe that he has failed his Master and himself.
    Time Frame: Obi-Wan is 16
    Spoilers: Minor ones for JA
    Category: POV, angst, h/c, drama, no Obi-torture but he does get beat up a bit, non-slash
    Disclaimers: The Star Wars universe and all of its characters belong to George Lucas, I'm only borrowing them to have a little fun and I promise to return them unharmed (well, at least mostly unharmed =0). I'm making no money from this and this is written for entertainment purposes only. Any characters that are not recognizable as being part of the Star Wars universe belong to me, but you guys probably figured that out, right?
    Feedback: Both positive feedback and constructive criticism are greatly appreciated and will be cherished! (firedrake88@earthlink.net)
    Archive: Jedi Apprentice, Early Years, Wolfie's Den, JAFD, The Guardians of Peace, The Temple Library, Telly, and archives who have any of my other stories. Anyone else who wants this, please ask and send me a link to your site so that I can check it out. =D
    Warning: Some parts of this are very graphic. The part where Obi-Wan gets beat up is NOT but some other people are wounded and in one part in particular I describe them in detail. Do not read if that bothers you.

    Things enclosed in < >'s are <telepathic> communication through the Master/Padawan bond.

    Flames of Fear
    ~ Part One: Curtailed Recovery ~


    Qui-Gon:

    I knocked lightly on the door to the sleeping chambers that Obi-Wan and I were sharing. The shuttle we were taking back to Coruscant was comprised only of small quarters, an even smaller kitchen, and a piloting-room/control-center. Although my Padawan had almost completely recovered from the severe burns he had sustained on our last mission I had insisted that he spend the trip home confined to a comfortable bed.

    "Come in, Master," the boy called out to me.

    I carefully balanced the trey of food in one hand and keyed the entry release with the other. The door slid open in front of me and I quietly stepped into the small room. Obi-Wan was lying on the bed, attempting to perform a calming meditation but he opened his eyes immediately upon hearing the soft humming of the door.

    "I thought you might be hungry," I explained, glancing down at the food I had brought for him.

    Obi-Wan nodded and grinned, trying to show his usual love of food but I could sense a growing uneasiness within him. The boy was extremely skilled at shielding his emotions from me but despite his best attempts his feelings were so strong that they had been leaking through our bond.

    On our last mission, my Padawan had been trapped in a fire and nearly burned to death; the event had left him inord
  2. shanobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 11, 2001
    star 4
    Wow, i was so excited to see you had started posting again. :)

    This is off to a very good start, and i hope you post again soon.

    I wonder if Obi will have to face his fear of fire on this mission. I also really like the interaction that you are portraying between Qui and Obi.

    Post again soon?? :D
  3. Obi the Kid Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 13, 2000
    star 4
    WOOHOO! Erika's back!!!!

    And what a way to start out a new story. A heck of a lot of angst!!!

    This is gonna be a story that I keep my eyes one!!!!!!

    Obi
  4. TheSwedishJedi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 15, 2001
    star 4
    And she's back. :D :D Par-ty!

    Ahem, anyway, glad to see you posting a new story. You do good anguish. :D

    ~Swede :p
  5. Firedrake88 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 25, 2001
    star 1
    Hi! Thanks for reading!

    shanobi: Glad to see that you're still reading! The reason I first started writing fics was to write Obi and Qui and their relationship the way I see it, so I'm glad that you like it, 'cause it plays a pretty big part in most of the stories I write. As for Obi's fear...well, you'll have to wait and see... Thanks!

    Obi: Hehe, I just answered your FB on the list...not that I'm complaining or anything. :) Yeah, there will be lots of angst...you know me! Thanks again!

    Swede: Good to 'see' you again :D Good thing you like my angst...'cause this story does have a good amount of it (of course!)! Thanks!

    I'll be posting again on Monday. :)
  6. mpfett Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    May 3, 2002
    That was a awesome story, keep up the ggod work
  7. Firedrake88 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 25, 2001
    star 1
    Hi! Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoy this next part. =D


    ~ Part Two: Hospital of Death ~


    Obi-Wan:

    There were so many wounded people here. So many people in pain and without any hope of surviving. How could it have come to this? It was wrong. There was no other way to say it. It was disgustingly wrong and I was horrified. Horrified that anyone would have to die like that. Horrified that someone had actually done that to him. Horrified that there had been no way to save him. Horrified that there were so many people in the same condition or worse, because they were caught up in a bloody and useless war.

    The comforting hand on my shoulder tightened and urged me to move. Qui-Gon gently turned me until I was facing him, breaking my disgusted and appalled stare at the man's body. I looked up at my Master with what I knew were lost and confused eyes and shook my head helplessly, unable to even say anything.

    I had never seen so many terribly wounded people before in my life. I had never been in a place that reeked so strongly of death. The Force was practically attacking me with the strength of the horror that filled this compound. It coursed through my body, screaming at me with the sheer wrongness of what was happening. It turned my blood cold. The very air around me was like shards of ice, cascaded ruthlessly into me.

    The images of the wounded danced before my eyes even as I desperately tried to focus on Qui-Gon's concerned and companionate face. I couldn't though. In front of his gentle blue eyes flashed pictures of men covered with blood and enraged people trying to kill each other. My mind all too eagerly supplied images of how such things could have happened to the wounded and unable to control myself I found myself conjuring up gruesome battles where dead bodies covered the ground and people were screaming at each other as they fought...

    <Obi-Wan,> Qui-Gon's worried voice reached through my hazed thoughts, <calm yourself, my Padawan. Focus, find your center. Don't fight your feelings. Accept them and then let them drift out of you with the air that leaves your lips. Reach out to the Force and let its light help you.>

    His words barely registered in my mind, all I could do was stare at him. Stare at him and see things that weren't even there. "I-I can't..." I stuttered out, silently pleading for him to help me.

    Qui-Gon touched my shoulder with his other hand and without breaking eye contact reached out to envelop me in the Force. <Yes, you can,> I heard in my mind, <Reach out to the Force, Obi-Wan. Reach past the pain of this place and touch the light. It's still there my Padawan. Through the darkness there is always light. You taught me that,> he squeezed my shoulders supportively, <I know you can do it. Don't focus on the devastation but on my voice. Relax. Don't fight the horror, accept it and let it drain from you. Let my words guide you.>

    I tentatively reached out to the Force that my Master was showing me the way too. On the outside all I could feel was the atrociousness of what was going on around me but if I searched a little deeper the light was still there, brilliant in its beauty. <That's it, Obi-Wan,> he encouraged, <now breathe deeply and let that light flow through you. You can do it.>

    I closed my eyes and took several deep, calming breaths. Then I opened myself completely to the Force and broke through the pain to reach the light. It flowed through me in a rush, magnificent and so gentle. It infused my body with warmth and soothed my aching heart. It couldn't completely wipe away my horror, but I knew it wasn't supposed to. Feeling this way made me human, made me mortal.

    <Good, my Padawan. Good,> I felt my Master lean forward and press his forehead against mine. With a gentle tug on our bond he opened himself to me and mentally embraced me with comfort and support. <There is a great deal of evil in the universe, Obi-Wan, but there is so much more good,> he murmured, <remember that.>

    Qui-Gon was h
  8. ewen Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 11, 2001
    star 4
    Can't tell you how glad I am to see you back,but.........Oh girl,you left us at such a place.I certainly have something to look forward to on Thursday now.PEACE Ewen
  9. sheleigh Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 31, 2002
    star 4
    That was wonderful... and such a place to stop too... Can't wait until Thursday!
  10. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
  11. Firedrake88 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 25, 2001
    star 1
    Hi! I just wanted to thank you for reading and say that I'm glad you like the story so far. :)
  12. Ginger_Jedi Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 4, 2001
    star 6
    Wicked so far :D Full of angst and mush - perfect mix ;)

    More soon PLEASE!!!!
  13. ewen Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 11, 2001
    star 4
    It's Thursday.Just gonna up and then wait for the post.PEACE Ewen
  14. Firedrake88 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 25, 2001
    star 1
    Hi! Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoy this next part. =D

    ~ Part Three: Emerging Apprehension ~

    Qui-Gon:

    I had just finished using the healing Force to ease along the regenerative process of yet another victim when the boy's terror hit me. His panic was so deep that I could feel it almost as if was my own. It was like the sharp fangs and claws of a hundred vicious dragons tearing at me through my bond with Obi-Wan. Images flooded our bond along with the fear. Flashes of burned bodies and long tendrils of hot fire filled my mind.

    "Obi-Wan," I murmured under my breath, quickly turning away from the beds of bodies that filled the room and making my way back towards where I had left him to sleep. He was having another nightmare. Another horrible dream of fire and fear. Only now it was worse - mired by images of what he had seen today, of the dead bodies that had piled up as the day wore on.

    I shouldn't have brought him here, I rebuked myself silently as I rushed through the flickering light of the corridor, desperate to get to him. He had already been through so much recently and he deserved some peaceful rest at the Temple - not a horrible day filled with suffering and death. What had I been thinking? The boy had already been having nightmares as it was, why had I brought him to a place where everything he saw would simply add to them?

    I barged into the dark quarters that the doctors had given Obi-Wan to use for our stay here. My eyes quickly scoured the room only to find the bed empty, the sheets tangled and thrown to the floor in the boy's panic. The small table that had once stood by the bed had been knocked down and the bowl lay shattered in pieces over the cold white tiles. The water it had contained was spilled in a puddle of tinged red liquid, seeping along to stain the floor.

    "Oh, Padawan," I breathed, hurrying into the small 'fresher.

    I froze in the doorway, my heart breaking at what I saw. Obi-Wan was kneeling over the toilet, coughing and sputtering as the contents of his breakfast raced through his body and up into his throat. The boy's clothes were completely drenched in sweat and clung to his skin in folds as his body shook and trembled. His usually spiky hair was matted to his head.

    I forced myself to move forward and dropped to my knees next to my Padawan. "Obi-Wan," I comforted softly, stroking his clammy hair with a gentle hand and rubbing calming circles along the muscles of his tense and shaking shoulders and back. "It's all right. I'm here, it's all right."

    My Padawan's body quavered almost convulsively once last time before he dropped back - exhausted. "Qui-Gon," he croaked, his voice rough and breaking.

    I continued to tenderly soothe the boy with soft touches and gentle murmurs until I felt the last of his fear drain from him. Obi-Wan - responding to my comfort with a whispered, "Thank you," - slumped against me almost lifelessly, resting his head on my chest.

    I reached out through our bond to inundate him with the Force, gently leading him into a communal meditation that would dissipate the last of his panic and terror and ease him back into a peaceful, dreamless, sleep.

    ~~~~~~~~~~

    Obi-Wan:

    I awoke to the soft gentleness of silky covers and the supple comfort of a soothing mattress. I let my eyes flutter open. I was lying face up, back in the bed that I had so frantically struggled out of when I had last awakened. The warm blankets had been securely nestled over me and in their touch I felt my Master's Force signature, tenderly tugging on our bond and making me feel strangely safe.

    Slowly sitting up, I looked about the small room. The table which I had knocked down and tripped over was standing in its place again and the fractured glass of the bowl had been cleaned up, along with the blood stained water.

    Blood. The one word brought it all back to me. The countless bodies I had seen, the fire, my own burned flesh... Nothing had ever affected me so strongly before. First it had only been fire but now
  15. ewen Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 11, 2001
    star 4
    Nice post with an even nicer cliff hanger.At least we know when a post is coming.PEACE Ewen
  16. shanobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 11, 2001
    star 4
    Oh, the suspense is going to kill me! Sunday....I can't wait til sunday.

    I have to wonder, is there something really wrong with Qui or is he trying to help Obi somehow face his fears. This wouldn't necesarily be the best time for a lesson, but with Qui....ya never know :)

    Good fic, and awesome angst. Keep it coming :D
  17. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    You do a wonderful job of painting a vivid nightmare. I can't wait for the next post.
  18. Ginger_Jedi Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 4, 2001
    star 6
    Uh oh, Qui-Gon's not answering. That cannot be good... :eek:

    More soon please! :D
  19. Obi the Kid Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 13, 2000
    star 4
    Ah, Erika, I have really missed your stories. I am reading this on the EL list, but thought I'd respond to it here. I love the Qui-Obi relationship you portray. Excellent. I can't wait to see where this goes from here!


    Obi
  20. Abbi_Cee Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 3, 2000
    star 4
    Sounds like Qui's in trouble this time. Wonderful descriptions of Obi's nightmare and fears. :)
  21. LuvEwan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2002
    star 4
    :) You're doing a great job! :)
  22. Firedrake88 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 25, 2001
    star 1
    Hi everyone! Well, when I said I was gonna post today I obviously forgot that it's Mother's Day! Oh well, I said I'd post so here it is anyway. This is probably not the greatest part in the story...I kinda went a little overboard, I think, but hopefully it isn't that bad.

    Thanks for the FB everyone!!! I'm glad that you're all enjoying the story!! Thanks for the kind words. :) I can't promise that the cliffhanger's gonna be any better this time though! [face_devil] And Obi, I love the way you portray Obi and Qui too. I don't read humor fics but I have all your others saved to my computer (even the ones I haven't read yet, such as Guilty Heart), along with all my other favorite stories. :)

    ~ Part Four: Fire & Fear ~

    Obi-Wan:

    Something was wrong. Qui-Gon would never ignore me, especially since he'd sense my worry and fear through our bond. He had to be unconscious, it was the only explanation. But where? How close to the fire was he and what had happened?

    I shot a wary look at the door that he had disappeared through. The fire was still far enough away but the dark grey smoke that was entering this room was enough to make my body shake and my heart tighten. I had to go see where he was but did I have the strength? Would I be able to face the thing that had haunted all my nightmares for almost two months now? Would I be able to lock away my fear and forget about how close fire had come to taking my life?

    If I closed my eyes I could still see the dancing flames as they leapt closer and closer to me, casting their eerie yellow glow over my body. In the silence of my mind I could still hear the crackling noise the wicked fire had made as it eagerly consumed the wood that sustained it. All across my tense and fearful body I could still feel the fire leaping onto my skin and burning away my consciousness as it surrounded me painfully in its searing embrace. I could remember it all so clearly - the heat, the pain - all of it. Could I face that again?

    I had nearly burned to death and now I didn't think I could handle being anywhere near a real fire. How would I manage if in my dreams I was too scared to move? How could I simply walk down that corridor, knowing where it would lead me? Qui-Gon - that was my answer. For him, I had to. I couldn't just leave him there to die. I had to try and save him.

    I glanced about the room once more, making sure no one needed my help, before bounding off towards the door. The first few steps were easy, as if the reality of what I was doing hadn't quite sunk it yet, but as soon as I entered the hallway everything changed. My body trembled despite my noblest attempts to still it and my legs were heavy and reluctant to move. Poorly suppressed fear expanded to engulf me and as if I was heading towards certain doom I had to force myself to move. Each footfall against the cold tiles of the floor was a loud reminder of exactly where I was going. As much as I tried to keep my mind focused on finding Qui-Gon I couldn't stop myself from picturing the cackling flames that I was so afraid of and that ever present picture in my mind only increased my fright.

    It was as if the clutching fear in my heart was hungrily engulfing all my air and after only minutes of jogging I found myself gasping. It seemed as if my body was conspiring against me for my heart was beating at such a fast rate that I thought it would burst from my chest. My usual endurance was gone; every muscle in my body was sore from the tenseness of my anxiety.

    My skin tingled in warning when by perceptible leaps and bounds the air thickened and sizzled. Nearly unbearable heat flooded into me in sweltering waves, serving as an agonizing reminder of the fire I was closing in on. Sweat beaded on my skin and rolled down my forehead to sting at my eyes. I subconsciously reached up to wipe it from my face and found my skin sticky and clammy like the suffocating air around me.

    Smoke continued to filter through the hallways; the air was becoming hazier with the thumping of my every
  23. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
  24. sheleigh Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 31, 2002
    star 4
    oh.. wow... That is amazing... and such an angsty post too.. can't wait for the next part!
  25. TheSwedishJedi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 15, 2001
    star 4
    Nice post. Evil cliff hanger. Will wait for more.

    ~Swede :p
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