Beyond - Legends Fleet Sitting, very AU w/ all Imperials

Title: Fleet Sitting
Author: Fra-ndr-eworin
Timeframe: Somewhere after The Last Command (and Thrawn is alive)
Genre: AU, humor
Summary: Thrawn and C (Pelly-Welly) go on a much needed holiday, while they leave Andrew (me) in charge of the fleet
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Notes: Thank you Pelly-Welly for helping with this! i know this is kinda a Gary Stu, but its just to make it funnier


Thrawn: *singing loudly in shower, even though it?s like, 5 o clock in the morning, thanks buddy!* I'm blue da be de da be da, hey da be de da be da
C: Thrawn... its 5 o clock, I'm feeling like I?m Palpatine, and you're singing?
Thrawn: I've something for that *comes out of shower dripping wet and naked*
C: Hey, thanks mate
Pellaeon: well, has Andrew got the keys?
C: Yep.
Thrawn: *meanwhile dressed up, darn it* Don't scratch the-
C & Pellaeon: paint on the Chimaera
C: *goes to America, which happens to lie next to Holland, how very convenient for her* There we go Andrew. Now, don't give Tarkin ANYTHING to drink before bed, keep Vermel AWAY from the chocolate, and, well, don't scratch the-
Andrew & gang: paint

So, anyway, C, Pellaeon, Thrawn and Stent go to France, they're all pushing themselves in the most messed up car EVER seen by human (and Chiss) eye.
Andrew, meanwhile, has already found the Chimaera Gift Shop; he's buying souvenirs (aka random bits of plastic)

Andrew: wow, plastic stupid stuff, more plastic stupid stuff, and even more! Wow!
Vermel: *rolls eyes at idea of addressing a 13 year old as "sir"* erhm, sir? Some random Rebels are attacking.
Andrew: mm, okay. Erhm...*silence* just kill them
Vermel: YIPPEEEE
Tarkin: *weirded out* that sounded an awful lot like little Vader
Andrew: That?s what I was shooting for so thanks? I guess, Hey are there any stormtroopers on board?!
Tarkin: Why do you want to know???
Andrew: I?m gonna teach them to hit those damned rebels.

Later:

Andrew: Wow, you guys are practically sharp shooters! Them rebel scumbags will never stand a chance. Hey I have an idea, lets go find and then board a rebel vessel and then kill everyone on board!!.
*Cheers from storm troopers and the crew*
Dude at the sensors array: ummmm there?s a rebel ship in the system uhhhhhh yea
Andrew: How convenient for us! Get it!

OK, so the Chimaera found the rebel ship they started firing at each other.

Andrew (who is now wearing a spiffy white uniform): ooh this is a spiffy uniform maybe I should dye my hair purple to go with it.
Vermel: I think red would match your eyes better.
Andrew: ya think?
Tarkin (who is very annoyed by Andrew and Vermel): ahem
Andrew: oh um uhhhhhh yea! Board the ship!!
*Andrew watches the stormtroopers annihilate every last rebel*
Andrew: now that they?re dead, raid there fridges and take all the chocolate
*the crews (especially Vermel) look with expectation at Andrew* you each get one piece of your choice except butter fingers they?re mine.
Tschel: can I have some chocolate???
Andrew: I just said you can, but Vermel can?t have anything.
Vermel: pwitty pweas with sugar on top *puppy dog face*
The Entire crew in one stern yet slightly hysterical voice: NO!
Vermel: Awww but why not
Andrew: C said no
*Vermel has a fit and stalks off mumbling about how unfair everything is*
Andrew: poor guy.

Meanwhile, somewhere in France.
Thrawn: I?m kinda worried now, I mean, Andrew IS just a kid.
C: So am I, and besides, as long as they don?t have any arguments, they?ll be just fine.
Pellaeon: *looking fearful * Damn! Tarkin?s on the Chimaera too! He?s going to be difficult!
C: So? Daala?s there too *wink wink *
Thrawn: What a nice mental image you?ve given me. This goes in category ?Just as Bad as Naked Palpatine in Jacuzzi?.
C: Thanks, sometimes, I even impress myself. *proud*

Again, meanwhile, on the Chimaera:

Andrew: MAUL IS THE COOLEST SITH LORD!!!
Tarkin: HA, VADER RULES!!
Vermel: YEAH!!
Daala: SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Andrew: Maul has a double bladed lig

 

Wow, kinda long post!
It's Gary Stu, but an extremely funny one. I especially like: the alarm, the Brillo Box painting, Thrawn, Vermel with his "blingbling" and the Chimaera gift-shop.

Funny, and good for a few laughs