Saga For a Master... For a Father... (TPM, Obi-wan/ Yoda, Angst)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by The Great No One, Jun 2, 2006.

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  1. The Great No One Game Winner

    Game Winner
    Member Since:
    Jun 4, 2005
    star 8
    Title: For a Master... For a Father...
    Author(s): Trimaj
    Timeframe: Tailend of TPM
    Characters: Obi-wan, Yoda
    Genre: Angst
    Keywords: Obi-wan, Yoda
    Summary: Obi-wan's Knighting
    Notes: This is not my world, I'm just playing in it. All the credit goes to George Lucas and Lucasarts.




    For a Master? For a Father?



    Kneeling before the wizened Jedi Master, Obi-wan felt his heart forcing blood through his body. It was as though a river roared through his ears. His body was wracked with anxiety, covered in sweat.

    He had no clue from the green being in front of him how he had done with the Trials, his future hung in the balance. Not only his future, but the legacy of his Master. What the old Jedi was saying swept over his head as a wave over the beach. His was stuck mind in the recent past, a past in which his Master had been brutally stolen from him. The man who had been his father.

    The return of the ancient enemy of the Jedi had taken everyone by surprise, and his father had paid with his blood. It was blood that had bought the return of the Sith, and blood was their legacy.

    Qui-gon Jinn, the lost Jedi Master, had been the epitome of compassion, yet could turn into an implacablely stubborn man should he disagree with you. This had caused him to constantly eschew the Council?s advice, much to his own detriment in some cases. It had also set him at odds with the most respected Jedi on the council, Master Yoda, who paced back and forth before Obi-wan now. Qui-gon had very seldom been proven wrong however, despite the pain that he had dealt with on many instances. He had been self-sacrificing for the greater good. Obi-wan had picked up many of his Master?s traits, some of which he knew, many others he wouldn?t learn until later years.

    As Master Yoda, the eldest of the Jedi, continued pacing before Obi-wan he had finally come to the conclusion of his advice, and was actually ready to reveal whether or not Obi-wan would be a Knight, or no. ?The requirements for Knighthood, you have met. With flying colors, the Trials you have passed. Honor to your Master, you have brought.? Here the elder Jedi paused, and gave Obi-wan a sympathetic smile. Qui-gon had been a friend, despite their many differences.

    The smile disappeared, as if it had never been, and the Master Jedi?s face went back to the solemn specter of wisdom that it usually was. ?The rank of Jedi Knight, the Council Bestows upon you.? Reaching for the lightsaber on his belt with unbelievable speed for one so old, Master Yoda grabbed the Padawan braid at the back of Obi-wan?s head, sliced down with his lightsaber, and severed the connection to Obi-wan?s past. He was into the future now, no matter how much the past still ached within his heart.

    Holding the braid before Obi-wan, Master Yoda intoned ?Here, your braid is, young Knight.? With that he dropped it into Obi-wan?s waiting hand.

    As it landed in his hand, all Obi-wan could manage was a mumbled ?Thank you, Master.? He felt pride that he had done his Master proud, but also immeasurable pain that the man who had been his father couldn?t be there. The wounds from Qui-gon?s murder were still far too fresh.

    He had managed to mete out justice to the animal that Darth Maul had been, but all of the Jedi knew that was nowhere near the end of things. The resurgence of the Sith after so many years couldn?t possibly be ended in such an acute manner. Obi-wan wasn?t actually able to see that at the moment as he was still trapped in the past. The severing of his braid had been unable to actually sever the past from his heart. A past that was still reaching into the present because of a promise? A promise that he would fulfill no matter what befell him.

    The tears that filled his eyes threatened to do more than just trickle down his cheeks, but he would not let them. He could not cry before Master Yoda, he could not allow the old Jedi to see the pain he was in. Little did he know how much of it was written all over his very being.

    The old Jedi?s tone changed suddenly, the disappro/>
  2. Ocelotl_Nesto Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 29, 2004
    star 4
    I liked the way you described Obi Wan's emotions at the loss of Qui-Gon. Any changes to cannon as the result of the vision?
  3. DaenaBenjen42 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 15, 2005
    star 5
    Very well done, Tri. Loved the look inside Obi-Wan's emotions.

    Good story. :)
  4. SiriKenobi12 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 6, 2004
    star 3
  5. Valairy Scot Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 5
    The resurgence of the Sith after so many years couldn?t possibly be ended in such an acute manner. Obi-wan wasn?t actually able to see that at the moment as he was still trapped in the past. The severing of his braid had been unable to actually sever the past from his heart. A past that was still reaching into the present because of a promise? A promise that he would fulfill no matter what befell him.

    The tears that filled his eyes threatened to do more than just trickle down his cheeks, but he would not let them. He could not cry before Master Yoda, he could not allow the old Jedi to see the pain he was in. Little did he know how much of it was written all over his very being.


    Oh, that is so poignant and touching. Nice job!
  6. The Great No One Game Winner

    Game Winner
    Member Since:
    Jun 4, 2005
    star 8
    Ocelotl_Nesto: thanks, i'm glad you thought it well done.

    to answer your question, nope. he pushed for anakin to be as good as he could in the books/films, so... not really. maybe a bit of angst later when he found out about him killing the sand people though.

    DaenaBenjen42: *bows* thank you master, especially with what you were saying with the first draft.:D

    SiriKenobi12: thanks, pleased you thought so. and thanks for reading, tis always appreciated.

    Valairy_Scot: *grins* thanks val, the original wasn't anywhere near that. again, thanks for reading.
  7. The Great No One Game Winner

    Game Winner
    Member Since:
    Jun 4, 2005
    star 8
  8. Noelie Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 11, 2005
    star 4
    This was wonderful Trimaj.

    What he saw was the effigy of a man, twisted into something nearly unrecognizable. A death?s head mask made of pure black stared at him with bulbous eyes. The armor that was worn appeared to be made out of the void. The cape looked as if it could cover the stars and let no luminescence through. The evil that it radiated was enough to drown in. This is the perfect description of Palpatine.

    As Obi-wan stared into the face of the boy he was to make his Padawan he wondered, Is this what will occur should I train him? He knew this must be stopped, but his promise burned within him. And yet what would have been the end result if they hadn't trained him? No one knows that either, it could have even been worse, although it is hard to imagine how.

    Some relief came to Obi-wan. He remembered Master Yoda?s admonition that the future constantly shifted, was never certain by any means. He knew he could prevent this from happening. He knew he could train the boy as his father had asked with his dieing breath. He would instill such a sense of good and right within the boy that this could never come to pass. He had his path.

    Slowly the vision faded until all that he could see was Anakin?s face within the helmet of the Man of Evil, as if the boy would remain no matter what should occur. A promise holdout of good for the future.


    Again this is incredible. Yes the boy did remain, and perhaps that is what they needed to see after all.

    Great Job Trimaj=D=
  9. The Great No One Game Winner

    Game Winner
    Member Since:
    Jun 4, 2005
    star 8
    Noelie: thank you very much, i'm really glad that you found it good.

    i can't help but thinking palpatine would have gotten anakin much sooner, and the boy would have been gone completely. there would have been no hope.

    they didn't know how the prophecy would be fulfilled, which is what bothered yoda so much i think. to bring balance the old needed to be destroyed.

    and the thing about balance is that it involves both the light and the dark... things had been weighing so far to the side of the light, at least openly, that the dark had to have a resurgence of some sort. so he brought balance to the force through joining it, and then forsaking it at the proper time. not a view many people want to take i don't think.
  10. KELIA Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 26, 2005
    star 6
    That was very well written.

    You did a great job of capturing Obi-Wan's emotions.

    Bravo

    =D= =D= =D= =D=
  11. The Great No One Game Winner

    Game Winner
    Member Since:
    Jun 4, 2005
    star 8
    KELIA: thank you, i'm glad you found it well written. and thanks on the latter as well, i'm never quite sure how i do with emotions.
  12. The Great No One Game Winner

    Game Winner
    Member Since:
    Jun 4, 2005
    star 8
  13. The Great No One Game Winner

    Game Winner
    Member Since:
    Jun 4, 2005
    star 8
  14. AzureAngel2 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 14, 2005
    star 6
    Can you give me my breath back, please?
  15. jackyyy17 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2006
    star 4
    Bro, that was really good. I enjoyed it immensely. Good writing.


    And thanks for the pm [:D]


    jacky
  16. The Great No One Game Winner

    Game Winner
    Member Since:
    Jun 4, 2005
    star 8
    AzureAngel2: hope you got it back my now angel. glad you liked it.

    jackyyy17: glad you got to read it, and that you found it good and enjoying. you're welcome for the PM. *hugs back*
  17. solojones Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Sep 27, 2000
    star 9
    Oooooh! As I told you, I love the opening line, of Obi-Wan's (battered) heart just barely forcing blood through his body. Great image, very metaphysical way to connect body and soul. Love it.

    I was surprised at the ending a bit I think. I mean, at that point I was yelling in my mind, Nooooo Obi-Wan! Don't! But he's so darn stubborn, he wouldn't listen :( That ending was really bitter sweet. I could definitely see, and do feel from the impression I get in TPM, that Obi-Wan was less concerned with the risks than he was with his duty. Poor guy. He could never have done it right, I don't think. And he could also have never forsaken a duty. It's just not possible for him. So I thought you got toward that point well :)


    -sj loves kevin spacey
  18. The Great No One Game Winner

    Game Winner
    Member Since:
    Jun 4, 2005
    star 8
    :oops: guess this is what i get for not looking in so long.

    coming from you, one who gets inside obi-wan's mind so well, that is very high praise.

    you're right, it really isn't possible for him to forsake a duty he has taken on himself, or even one that is laying there waiting for someone to pick it up and carry it. in a way that's his greatest character flaw, but in a way it's a strength as well since it has forced him to be strong. considering what was coming, that was a very good thing.

    and i've found characters very seldom do what you tell them... as i'm sure you know all too well.;)

    :snoopy

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