Full Series For Discussion of Old TCW episodes...

LOL, not tonight.

 

Monster:

Damn, Mother Talzin is good. She plays all sides to her advantage.

So...the dudes live on the other side of the planet. And they're all Zabraks? Interesting.

Oh hot ****ing damn I love a matriarchal society I did feel bad for the Zabrak guys though, including Savage.

Holy ****, Ventress/Savage fight. Savage proves his worth, in a way that is just...awesome.

Mother Talzin: "a perfect male specimen." Love it.

Oh hell...what the **** did the witches do to Randy? Damn.

"He certainly is a sight to behold." He just put a damn stake into the ground. Ya think?

Oh. Hell. The risk grab to drop the lightsaber? Smooth.

OK, why the hell did Dooku bring up Maul? Can we spell "shoehorn"?

Not nearly as good as Nightsisters.

5/10

 

Witches of the Mist:

Initially everyone is afraid of Savage, which is kind of awesome, but it gets worse.

The look on Obi-Wan's face when told that Ventress was presumed dead. Awwww.

Damn, Dooku is an ass to Savage. Really looked like a Sith in this episode. My son was kind of upset.

And Obi-Wan...really? Every Zabrak is Maul? LMAO

LOL telling Anakin not to start something with about 10 Zabraks jumped him.

Anakin: "This place is all kinds of fun." LOL ya think?

And damn, Dooku, what's with the interest in Toydaria?

Anakin: "I tend to be popular with the ladies." Only in the Outlander Club babe.

And no, they didn't just easily figure out exactly where Savage was.

Toydarian king: brave, but foolish.

Oh, Dooku. **** off already. I'm glad Ventress came after him. But damn I feel bad for Savage.
Until...oh, dude, double Force choke.

Ventress vs Dooku. I would pay good money to see her castrate him with her lightsabers but alas...not meant to be.

And oh hell, Maul in a ball.

6/10

 

LOL, I had never seen that sketch, that's hilarious.

 

Shadow Warrior didn't get great reviews around here as I recall but I liked it too.

 

Oh hell. I'm going to regret this.

Overlords:

Jedi distress code that hasn't been used in over 2000 years, nobody shows up on scanners, "I must have blacked out..." Yep, death sticks.

Floating rocks in the air and Anakin is hearing voices. "Are you the one?" The one who will not drink that brand of tequila again.

At least Ahsoka and Anakin are being sarcastic.

"It is forbidden for you to touch me!" Oh WTF ever.

Ooo, the son has red eyes. And he can be a bossy ***hole and make storms. Let me be afraid now. Not.

"Whatever I'm looking for is in that monastery." OK, Anakin, you know that Chris Rock joke about the white women in horror movies who follow the noise into the basement? Yeah, that's you. Dumbass.

Ooo look, Ahsoka can sleep sitting up. And Obi-Wan, upon seeing Qui-Gon...draws his saber? WTF?

Anakin sleeping in his clothes. What a waste.

The talk between Anakin and Shmi might have been great if she hadn't gone so damn creepy at the end.

Yeah, Anakin has a great sadness, but it's none of your damn business, old man. And beyond that you're talking like someone who has had way too many bong hits.

"The Chosen One is a myth". Let's just leave it there, shall we? Oh no, you can't.

"Anakin will not be easy to deceive." LOL Obi-Wan.

"I have ordered my children to kill your friends." Yeah, you're an ***hole. And your kids turn into carnivorous birds. Isn't that special.

"Do not trust him." "Ya think?" Go Anakin.

"It has been foretold." Whatevers. Yeah, Anakin, just get on the damn ship.

One bad acid trip down, two more to go.

0/10

 

Altar of Mortis:

Anakin sleeping in his tunic again.

"I will never join the Dark Side willingly." ROTFLMAO.

"The son took Ahsoka." "What the blazes are you talking about?" My thoughts exactly, Obi-Wan.

Ah, Saruman's Tower. And Ahsoka, really? Anakin is coming for you. Shut up.

The son bites her and turns her evil. Looks familiar. Whatever.

Um, hello, really old dude: since your son has gone evil, maybe it's past the time for talking.

And the daughter: it's not the son's fault that he's gone evil? LOL wut? And "I cannot interfere with the ways of the Force"? How about a little effort you dumbass. Otherwise you might as well turn that dagger on yourself.

I see we now have Voldemort's cave.

Anakin finds Ahsoka and Ahsoka...shut up. You're actually whinier as a Dark Sider. I didn't think that was possible.

And Dark Side Ahsoka...is kicking Anakin's ass? If my eyes rolled back any further in my head, I'd need surgery.

What the hell is the father lying on? A kite?

Kids fight, father throws them out the window. Parenting Fail 101.

"Everything has transpired according to my design." Son, you are no Palpatine.

"Do not hate him, Father." Yeah, whatever. And all the old dude can do is mumble about the balance and blame himself.

WTF was Anakin doing with Ahsoka and the Daughter? I did like him hugging Ahsoka when she comes to.

But geez, old dude: Shut. The. ****. Up.

0/10

 

GGrievous, I have no idea.

Ghosts of Mortis:

Hey, Anakin and Obi-Wan, stop talking and get out of there.

Oh, Anakin..."If I don't get the Father's blessing to leave, it will haunt me forever." Are you high? Or just stupid?

The father burying the daughter was sad. Then Anakin shows up and it all turns stupid. "He's too powerful, you need me." Whatever.

Qui-Gon showing up was kind of cool with his predicting the end of ROTJ.

Anakin has gone to the "well of the Dark Side." Sounds like a new kind of drink that they serve in Mos Eisley Cantina. It makes you see Mortis and behave like a ****ing idiot.

Ah, Mad Skillz Snips is now Mad Mechanical Skillz Snips. SMH.

"I have had enough of your trickery!" So why the hell did you follow him into the "well"?

And my favorite...Anakin sees himself turn to the Dark Side later and is horrified, so he turns to the Dark Side immediately.

What. The. Actual. ****.

Oh I see. Snips saves the day.

And the Father. Oh for ****'s sake. Why not let Anakin remember what he saw but teach him not to be a dumbass about it? But noooo...the whole "balance" and "destiny" bull**** is more important.

"You have no power to kill me, old man." Apparently not, but you sure can talk someone to death.

"I held hope that you could resist the Dark Side." Yeah, you're a dumbass.

The ending there...something something light and dark something symbols.

"You were off the scopes for a moment."

Only a moment? Yeah, let's just say we're never drinking the Well of the Dark Side or whatever they're serving at that bar again.

And that, folks, is how I reconcile the existence of Mortis in my head.

0/10

 

The Citadel:

Dude--there are hyperspace lanes used by both sides???

All was going well until Ahsoka appeared. Seriously, Ahsoka? Shut up.

LOL R2 reprogrammed battle droids? Whom Anakin refuses to talk to?

Ahsoka, you stupid whiny little ****, going over Anakin's head? For ****'s sakes, Plo, slap her.

Carbon freezing. Just no. So much for Vader needing to test Lando's equipment on Han. Anakin is, I assume, personally familiar with the effects.

Cargo is "supplies and frozen rations". LOL.

OK, nice build up. Now WTF do they do to the Jedi in the Citadel?

Love Anakin and Obi-Wan's sarcasm when they see Ahsoka. But I would have paid good money to see Anakin smack the hell out of her. Damn, that Force-choke was wasted on Padme.

Um, WTF? The Citadel is in Voldemort's cave?

"We hadn't planned on Ahsoka being here. Perhaps she's right." Oh for ****'s sakes.

Electricity, fried clones, and I guess our discussion in another thread was correct: electrocution is the CN acceptable means of torture.

Because oh hell, now Anakin is getting the bolts. With all the times he's gotten electrocuted in this show, seems he would have fried a few brain cells by ROTS. Oh, wait...

The Jedi helping Tarkin is just...weird.

Bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb...

Anakin and Tarkin. Get 'em Anakin.

3/10

 

Counterattack:

Damn, Murphy's Law as the fortune cookie?'

Anakin and Obi-Wan arguing over who will be on schedule was just...I don't know.

Dooku: "You may dispense with the propriety"...or the pleasantries?

The escape route is kind of cool. Tarkin and Ahsoka arguing over the design though...whatever. And Anakin, please slap her for back talk.

Ah, Tarkin, you're on to the fact that Ahsoka is a child. You seem to be the only one.

Battle droids..."we're just trying to fool them". WTF? Droids aren't capable of that, not B1s anyway.

Anakin, I would pay good money to see you slap Ahsoka.

For the first time we see the Citadel from the side. A tower and pretty cool.

"Torture them...slowly." Oh boy, more electrocution coming.

"Peacekeepers should not be leading a war." OK, Tarkin.

And here comes Mad Skillz Snips!

Oh, look at you. Anakin, you can blow **** up.

R2's droids doing a "prisoner transfer." LOL

At this point my son is thrilled with the droid action.

By "situation" he means "big explosion"...LOL

Echo.

5/10

 

Citadel Rescue:

Oh boy, plans for a strike against Coruscant? At one time I would have been excited about a Labyrinth of Evil re-enactment.

LOL Anakin carrying Tarkin on his back.

Good to see Plo, Saesee Tinn and Adi Gallia in the same scene.

And oh hell, here come the hyenas from the Lion King.

Shut up Ahsoka. You too Anakin.

LOL Anakin lecturing Tarkin.

Weird landscape scene. I like it though.

Geez, Even Piell getting eaten by a hyena?

Ahsoka: "I wasn't assigned." Shut up. Now isn't the time for you to come clean. That would have been earlier.

But OK, I felt bad for both her and Anakin. And Piell's death in Coruscant Nights was better, even for someone who doesn't particularly like that set of books.

Isn't tight roping over lava fun? Pay attention Anakin.

Oh please please throw Tarkin into the lava. Dammit Ahsoka, you just doomed Alderaan by saving him.

Sweet space battle at the end, albeit short.

Ahsoka and Tarkin going at each other. For once I'm on Ahsoka's side.

For about two seconds. For ****'s sake, Plo Kloon, you didn't assign her, stop covering her ass.

(My son started asking me weird questions about the clones being human at the end of this episode. Not sure why.)

5/10

 

Aw, I love the Citadel trilogy. Despite my EU fanboy rage regarding Even Piell and such, I thought these were great. Lola whatever is wicked atmospheric, one of the best locales of TCW. I really liked Tarkin, especially his interactions with Anakin.

 

It's sad what happened to Ahsoka's character in season 3, not only the constant gratuitous displays of Mad Skillz Snips but also because she is obviously allowed to do whatever the hell she wants with no consequences.

I'm watching Padawan Lost and Wookiee Hunt later; I remember liking those when they aired, mainly due to Anakin. But...my tolerance for Ahsoka was a little higher then and I still thought she was annoying as hell so we'll see.