For My Soul is Touched and I am Hollow (JA AU Obi/Qui/ now Xan) COMPLETE 5/26/04

Lovely, Suzuran!

I could really picture how miserable Obi felt, great work with the emotions!

 

Oh good another promising fic to follow. This is very intriguing. I look forward to seeing where you take this.

 

::Runs across the thread, screaming::

AHHHHHH! AHHHHHH! AHHHHH!

This is just to good! You capture Obi-Wan's feelings of fear and worthlessness perfectly! And then the reactions of the council! It fits perfectly!

Suzuran : Are you George Lucas under an assumed name?

~Dot

 

Hmmm what did strait-and-narrow Obi do that made the council that mad???

I hope he feels better soon. ..



great stuff can't wait for more

 

o-w:
Wow. Very well done, JS. Awesome post!

Thanks.

Cas:
So, what makes Obi-Wan feel so sure that his life will never be the same?

That would be telling.

Master:
Okay my mind is really in the gutter tonight.Why you ask,Padawan/Because as wonderful as this post was only one thing keeps jumping out at me. shedding his clothes I need to go to bed!

O--kay, I have a pervert for a Master.

I guess it was an apprenticeship made in heaven.

I am more then happy to be known for turning people to the Xani side of the Force It's a wonderful place to be!

Figures you'd be proud of that, Master. As I told you in Underneath..., I have joined the Xani side of the Force Writer's Circle. I have you to thank for that.



Arwen:
Ooo!!! New post !!

*reads it*

Hey! what's going on here!! I gotta find out, MORE!!

Now, now, I'm not gonna tell, am I? Don't want you to stop reading.

PadawanKitara:
Great start

Thanks, I hope the rest is as good.

Jedi_Knight_Hunter:
Hey! I've always liked Xani...especially paired with Obi

My Master has made me see that too.

Obiously there's a time jump between the two posts, right?

How old is Obi?

Yup, there's a time jump. Obi is about 14.

*Member of the confused club*

*snorts*

Yeah, I'm one of the founders.

Excellent post?Maybe I should read the "evil" JA and JQ books. Then I might know what is going on.

You can if you want, but other people put better scenes in them anyway.

Cicci:
I could really picture how miserable Obi felt, great work with the emotions!

Thanks! This is actually my first time writing real angst, so I hope I'm doing okay.

Sheila:
Oh good another promising fic to follow.

"Promising"? Oh dear, I hope I don't disappoint.

This is very intriguing. I look forward to seeing where you take this.

So am I. No plot, after all.

DOT:
::Runs across the thread, screaming::

AHHHHHH! AHHHHHH! AHHHHH!

This is just to good! You capture Obi-Wan's feelings of fear and worthlessness perfectly! And then the reactions of the council! It fits perfectly!

Whoa, DOT, don't eat so much sugar! Thanks, though.

Suzuran : Are you George Lucas under an assumed name?



I almost wish! If for nothing else than to have some of his money.

Oh, and get a quickie peek at the plot of Ep. 3...

maramijade:
Hmmm what did strait-and-narrow Obi do that made the council that mad???

Well, he did leave the Jedi for a while in the JA books.

I hope he feels better soon. ..

Now, my dear, you wouldn't want that, do you? No angst! And Obi lives for angst.

great stuff can't wait for more

Thanks.

On a totally silly note, like anyone cares:

** Woo-hoo, 3000th postie!!!!!! **

I'm easily pleased.

~~ Post later today! Along with something else, courtesy of my Master.~~

*glares at Master again*

 

This is actually my first time writing real angst, so I hope I'm doing okay

You're doing more than okay, Suzuran. Far more! No need to worry.

Oh, and HAPPY 3000 POSTS!

 

Cicci:
You're doing more than okay, Suzuran. Far more! No need to worry.

Thanks!

Now, to the post.

************************************

Chapter II

In some ways, he had accepted the routine.

"Padawan, breakfast!"

Combing a hand through his hair, Obi-Wan went to the breakfast table, where Qui-Gon was sipping some juice. He sat down, unfolding his napkin and grabbing his spoon. He began to eat.

"What is your schedule today?"

He looked up. "Math and Galactic History, Master. Why?"

Qui-Gon put his glass down. "I've reserved a practice room for this afternoon. We need to work on that aerial kata. You're still very sloppy during the 3rd position."

He knew that. "Yes, Master."

"4th hour."

"Yes, Master."

The rest of breakfast was spent in silence. Obi-Wan kept his eyes on his food, eating as quickly and politely as possible. His master did the same, until they both resembled automatons, their movements saturated with stiff formality; the only sounds their utensils tapping their plates.

Obi-Wan looked at his chrono, draining the last of his juice. It was at least a half hour till his first class, but he wanted to get out of the stifling atmosphere in the room. He stood, gathering his plate.

"Leave it, I'll take care of those."

He looked at Qui-Gon, startled that the man was meeting his gaze. After a long moment, they both looked away.

"Thank you, Master."

He gathered his datapad, and headed for the door. Qui-Gon had his back to him as he cleared the table. Obi-Wan sighed, very softly, and left without a word.

As the door closed, Qui-Gon turned back. His blue eyes filled with sorrow.

"I know I'm meant to be a Jedi. I'll never doubt it again."

You should never have doubted it in the first place, Obi-Wan.

"I know you are meant to be a Jedi too."

But are you meant to be with me?

I can't even begin to answer that now. I thought so, when I took you back. I thought...

Shaking his head, he began to wash the dishes, trying to bury his unhappiness.

He had also accepted their routine.

A little.

Unclear is your path.

He had accepted that, too.

**************

Not sure if I'll have a post up tomorrow, busy and all, but I'll try to have one during the weekend. If not, definetely Monday.

 

Loving this fic so far Padawan.NOw I'm off to read the new one!

 

Loving this! Must have more!

 

Very nice post JS! Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon are both miserable. I remember thinking that the JA books glossed over this part of their reconciliation. If it really was so hard for Qui-Gon to trust Obi-Wan again and to take him back then the actual taking back was only the beginning of the story. So, I am glad you are going to cover the after effects. Looking forward to more.

 

I refuse to let such incredible writing as this leave the first page!

UP! UP, I SAY!

~Dot

 

This is great, Suzuran. Much much better than the glossed-over version in the books. And I love the angst!

 

true, angst is great .. . but one must feel bad about tourturing the poor characters. . . not that I don't like reading it or anything. . . (can't wait for more btw)

::hides behind her chair:: I havent read the JA books.. . . so I'm a bit lost. . . But I learn quickly so that's good right?




Keep it up!

 

up

 

MORE PLEASE SOON!

::falls into coma from lack of posts::

~Dot

 

Up to the top!

 

I found it.

Looking good so far, JS. Though I'm probably missing a lot, since I've never read the books this is based on. No money for little niceties like that anymore.

So I'll just have to make up for it by reading your fic.

Sreya

 

Can't wait for the next part!















up!

 

Master:
Loving this fic so far Padawan.

Goodie.

Arwen:
Loving this! Must have more!

Soon, soon,

Sheila:
Very nice post JS! Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon are both miserable. I remember thinking that the JA books glossed over this part of their reconciliation. If it really was so hard for Qui-Gon to trust Obi-Wan again and to take him back then the actual taking back was only the beginning of the story. So, I am glad you are going to cover the after effects.

Coolie. I hope I do a good job when all's said and done.

DOT:
I refuse to let such incredible writing as this leave the first page!

UP! UP, I SAY!

You and Cas are my heroes, DOT.


Cas:
Much much better than the glossed-over version in the books. And I love the angst!

Thanks. Glad you're loving the angst. There's plenty of it to come. This fic'll be pretty dark.

And thank you for the ups!

maramijade:
true, angst is great .. . but one must feel bad about tourturing the poor characters. . . not that I don't like reading it or anything. . . (can't wait for more btw)

I agree, but what can you do when a plot bunny robs you of sanity?

::hides behind her chair:: I havent read the JA books.. . . so I'm a bit lost. . . But I learn quickly so that's good right?

Aw, don't feel bad, I didn't read the JA books until a couple of months ago (*prepares for a major tongue lashing from Master )

Learning quickly is always

Sreya:
Looking good so far, JS. Though I'm probably missing a lot, since I've never read the books this is based on. No money for little niceties like that anymore.

Thankee. I can understand the "no money" thing. I suffer from that too much myself.

So I'll just have to make up for it by reading your fic.

That's one way of doing it.

J_K_H:
Can't wait for the next part!

Hopefully you won't have to wait that long.


I'm writing the post right now, and I hope I can post it tonight. If not, then for sure on Monday.

 

UP!!!!!

 

**Sigh** Another promising fic to add to my list

The angst o' meter looks to be down right painful on this one. I'll check back in on this one as well when I can--the good thing about not getting here often is all the posts I get to read at once

Can't wait to see how these two stubborn boys find their way back to each other.

--Shan

 

Cas: My heroine! Thanks for the up again.

shan: Thanks for taking the time to read this. Hope you continue to enjoy it.

I'm still working on the post. It's giving me a headache, but I'm determined to post it today. I hope I suceed.

 

Finally, a post! I'm not entirely happy with it, so let me know what you think.
It gave me quite a few headaches.

**************************

Chapter III

4th hour.

Obi-Wan hurried out of his last class, heading for the sparring chamber. He was intercepted on the way by Bant.

"Obi, how are you and Master Jinn doing?"she asked, walking beside him, a datapad in one hand.

He answered the same way he always did; this was a question she asked everyday. "Fine, why?" Force, how it tightened his throat to say that lie. He quickened his pace.

Her silver eyes looked straight through him, acknowledging his deception. "Are you sure?"

No, how can we be fine when my Master and I don't connect in any way at all? When there is only silence and uncertainty between us?

He managed to smile reassuringly at his friend. "Of course, don't worry, Bant."

She said nothing, giving him a sad, reproachful look, and walked away. He stared after her for a minute, then ran to the practice room.

Upon entering, he saw Qui-Gon stretching.

"I'm sorry I'm late, Master."he said, setting aside his datapad.

"Don't worry. Let's do some light sparring first to warm up,then we can work on the aerial kata."

"Yes, Master."

He had always loved lightsaber practice. It was a beautiful, intimate form of dancing, a sonnet in physical beats. Before Melida/Daan, he had also enjoyed the mental closeness that it brought him with his Master. They had shared their reactions and thoughts through the transparent training bond, where Qui-Gon had encouraged and chastized accordingly.

It wasn't like that now. As they traded blows, the bond was almost completely silent. Even after several months of this, he was still confused as to why. He hadn't asked Qui-Gon, too afraid of the answer. Ducking away from a swipe of the other man's blade, he did something he hadn't done before--he pushed.

Qui-Gon's eyes widened in surprise at the move, but he wasted no time. He pushed back mentally, reaching out to his apprentice. He had not tried this before, being too uneasy about what would happen. Maybe that's the solution!

Their minds managed to touch; for a second, the training bond, strong and pure as it had been before Melida/Daan, pulsed between them. Obi-Wan started to smile. At last!

The next moment, the two stumbled away from each other, both physically and mentally, as pain knifed through their heads. The bond was silent, and, they knew clearly now, tattered.

No!Obi-Wan cried silently, aching intensely at the loss, however brief, of that closeness. He fell to the floor.

Qui-Gon, breathing hard, put a hand to his face. For a moment, there was silence between them. He took the hand away, confusion and lingering pain in his eyes. "Are you all right, Padawan?"

NO! No, I'm not!"I--I don't think I'm in any shape to continue sparring today, Master."

Qui-Gon didn't argue, he felt the same way. Meditation was in order. "I agree. We can continue this tomorrow, perhaps."

Obi-Wan managed to nod. "Yes, Master." He got to his feet, put his saber away, and left the sparring room, heading for the gardens. The pain still lingered. The loneliness was magnified.

What now?

 

What in tarnation just happened Padawan? You have some explaining to do!

 

Nice chap, Suzuran...

Lunkhead is asking like his true self! Can I shoot him?

~Dot