For My Soul is Touched and I am Hollow (JA AU Obi/Qui/ now Xan) COMPLETE 5/26/04

*waves*

I'm here, I'm here. DRL hasn't completely swallowed me whole yet. I'm at page 8 of the post (a lot to cover), and I still have about 2~3 left. 3/4 of the way done, so hang in there.

I have new readers?

PadawanEstel:
Hello... I like this story a lot! And it needs to be finished...
(I have been lurking for a while)

Come back and update! pleaseee...?

Oh, bad lurker! Kidding. Thank you so much for reading this. As I said, I'm nearly there.


Lurkalidth:
That was a heart-rending (literally? ) decision for Xani--was she too troubled to ever be rehabilitated--although after what she pulled with Obi-Wan I really don't have any sympathy for her. I wonder how Xani will cope, though, and whether Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon will be able to heal emotionally.

There was a chance she could have been healed, but really, she'd just reached a point where dying was the better of two evils. What did she have left? Not much. As for the emotional healing, that's coming up.

I'm glad that you re-commenced this after your hiatus. I enjoy the story. Thanks for sharing it.

Thanks! I would have finished this story months ago if school and the troll called DRL hadn't interfered. Thanks again for reading this.

Nearly there, everyone. Stay tuned (again)!

EDIT: W00T! 800 POSTS!!

*does happy dance*

Guess what time it is: Yep, postie time!

Good news: 12 pages of post. Bad news? The next one might take two weeks, or longer. Enjoy this one, because you'll have to wait at least a week. There's a lot of ground to cover.
~~~~~~

Chapter LXVII

"You killed her."

His thick cloak, stained with dirt, pooled on the floor as Xanatos knelt by the body of his best friend. He reached out and closed her blank, staring eyes, his mouth softened with sorrow. He had known what she had been asking, what she had wanted, and he had given in. He was beginning to regret his decision already, but he would not take it back. "Shar," he whispered.

"You killed her," Obi-Wan repeated, shaking.

"You didn't have to kill her, Xanatos. She deserved a far greater punishment than being allowed to die for her crimes. She ruined many lives! She -" Qui-Gon stopped abruptly as Obi-Wan's hand squeezed his forearm.

"Master, don't." He turned back to Xanatos, who began to wrap Shi-Ara's body in the voluminous cloak she wore. His movements were steady. Clinical. "Why?"

He picked her up and nearly dropped her a second later after realizing how very thin she had become. He had ample experience carrying her around, both as a lover and a best friend, and in all his life he'd never felt someone so emaciated. Tears pricked his eyes, but he immediately began to harden his heart. This was not the time. He would mourn for her later, in private.

He was the only one who would.

"Why?"

"Her death was mine. It was her gift."

Even Qui-Gon looked confused. "What?"

"She gave me her death," he repeated, tucking a loose corner of the cloak more closely about her limp body.

Understanding dawned on Obi-Wan's face. "I understand." Qui-Gon quirked an eyebrow in his direction. "If it had been anyone else, Master, they would have taken her life and not given two thoughts about it. They wouldn't have cared. Master Tayuuri knew that Xanatos would give it meaning, and even dignity."

"Yes."

"Some master," Qui-Gon muttered.

Xanatos's voice, sharper than a vibro-blade, lashed out at him. "Qui-Gon! You will not speak ill of the dead. It stops here. Let her rest in peace."

"I'm afraid I'm not as charitable as everyone thinks. I stand by my last statement."

"She was still a Jedi, and a master at that. Don't give me provocation to hit you, Qui-Gon. You know I will. Shi-Ara made a mess of several lives, her own included, but she was still a valuable member of the Jedi. That's more than can be said for me. Isn't it?"

He had him there. "I cannot forgive her trespasses so easily, Xanatos. I'm sorry."

"I understand that. Neither you, nor Obi-Wan, should have to forgive her. She disrupted a great deal of your training and took away your brother, Kenobi. That is something that shouldn't be brushed aside. However, if you were serious about continuing our relationship, Qui-Gon, you will keep your little digs to yourself. I will not allow you to smear her memory in my hearing. She was still my best friend, and I loved her. Is that understood?"

"It is, and I shall try, but don't expect miracles."

A dark eyebrow rose. "You shall try? You shall try? Why Qui-Gon, I had no idea being without the Jedi for two years would make you so plebeian. Yoda would be hitting you with that damn stick of his for saying the word try. If he could hear you now ... it might lead him to an early grave." His pale blue eyes glinted with pleasure. "Not a bad idea. Try ... How the mighty have fallen."

A reluctant smile pulled at Qui-Gon's mouth. "Somehow I think Yoda is a tad heartier, don't you?"

"Don't rob me of my fantasies, Qui-Gon."

Obi-Wan laughed.

Xanatos shifted the body in his arms, his face growing sober once more. "Is there firewood around here? I think the backyard has plenty of space to set up a pyre."

"You don't mean to give her Jedi rites?"

"And why the hell not? She was a Knight, and a Master. She contributed to the Order in many ways, both in missions and

Next Chapter: What just happened? Will the idiot Council get a clue? Will Xani throw out a few humorous quips? Will this story finally make sense? Will Obi-Wan continue to be food for angst? Am I gonna throw in another twist? Will I ever win an award for this fic?

Answer to all but the last: YES.

I hope that's cleared things up for everyone. I did say that the hints had been there, since the very beginning. Mwahaha, the joys of plot! I didn't think anyone would get it, but I couldn't be sure (did anyone get it?)

I think I got it. Very amusing situation.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Xani's bonded with both obiwan and quigon now!!!
This is to funny, just what i needed today too.

MORE!

Nice work!

Oh, my. It appears to be a threesome. (Bonding that is).

* Looks at Ravens reply *

You are an evil little minx my dear Padawan ! I love Xan's reaction! Priceless!

Beautiful long post, Suz. I love your Xani - his snide comments are priceless.

Can't wait for more, but I do understand DRL. Take your time, and I'll look forward to the next chapter (not to mention the twist...).

Shaindl

Next Chapter: What just happened? Will the idiot Council get a clue? Will Xani throw out a few humorous quips? Will this story finally make sense? Will Obi-Wan continue to be food for angst? Am I gonna throw in another twist? Will I ever win an award for this fic?

Answer to all but the last: YES.

Don't you mean all but the first?


Poor Xani!

How are you going to twist this, I wonder... ?

Long post- good!
Cant wait for more!

You are an evil little minx my dear Padawan ! I love Xan's reaction! Priceless!

Oh, my, Obi_ew. I am shocked to think that somebody would think I was talking about that type of threesome. Oh, my. Oh, my, indeed.

Really, Raven. You really should drop the innocent act.

What ever are you talking about, Mysterious? I was talking about the bonding. *as she bats her eyes innocently*

You know what I am talking about. I know you would love to be a part of that threesome. Bonding or not.

*Raven runs out of the room to take a cold shower, as Mysterious and 13 laugh their heads off*

Xanatos's curses could be heard all the way to Coruscant.

Priceless JS.

PK:
I think I got it. Very amusing situation.

Glad you got it. I wondered if everyone figured out how the bonding turned out? And yes, I made it amusing on purpose.


Jenny:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Xani's bonded with both obiwan and quigon now!!!
This is to funny, just what i needed today too.

I'm glad it made you laugh.


GeithJiseo:
Nice work!

Thanks!

MysteriousRaven13:
Oh, my. It appears to be a threesome. (Bonding that is).

I will not say anything on a PG board, I will not say anything on a PG board ...

Master:
* Looks at Ravens reply *

It does inspire uh, images.

You are an evil little minx my dear Padawan ! I love Xan's reaction! Priceless!

Why thank you, Master. Glad you liked Xan's reaction.

Shaindl:
Beautiful long post, Suz. I love your Xani - his snide comments are priceless.

Mea culpa on that one, I slipped a bit of Mary Sueism in there. Xani's sarcastic quips are based on me, because I say stuff like that in real life (and in web life too).


Can't wait for more, but I do understand DRL. Take your time, and I'll look forward to the next chapter (not to mention the twist...).

Yes, DRL's trollish hands need to be tied or something. I would have finished this story months ago if not for him. Thanks for continuing to read!

PadawanEstel:
Don't you mean all but the first?

You're right, or at least mostly right. I ain't winning an award for this fic, so that one isn't a yes either.

Poor Xani!

Yes, poor Xan. I do love to torture him as much as Obi-Wan.

How are you going to twist this, I wonder...

Oh, you'll have to wait for that.

Sheila:
Priceless JS.

Thanks, Sheila.

Just curious, did anyone pick up the hints as to how the bonding would turn out? Did anyone figure out the mystery? Probably not, but if you did, good on you! Even I had a little trouble keeping the facts straight.

Perhaps Shi-Ara had planned this in the end. Was her spirit laughing at his thoughts right now?

That lady cheeses me off even in death

It's a good thing she's dead

Nicely said Qui-Gon!

Aww, isn't that just sweet enough to make you vomit?

That was great!

Awesome chapter JS! This story is like a drug..I'm glad I'm addicted!

MysteriousRaven13:
Oh, my. It appears to be a threesome. (Bonding that is).

I will not say anything on a PG board, I will not say anything on a PG board ...

What?!?! What did I say? I was just talking about the bonding between Xani, Obi, and Qui.

Moving this thread up!

Again!

Thanks for the ups, GeithJiseo. I am working on the post, don't worry. It'll just take a while.

Stay patient, everyone.

Ooooo. Xani can hear our Jedi boys!

Take your time, Jedi_Suzuran. We'll keep the thread up until then.

UPPERS!!!

M-master?

Obi-wan?

Master!

Padawan!

Aww, isn't that just sweet enough to make you vomit?

They traded looks.

"What the -?!"

Xanatos's curses could be heard all the way to Coruscant.



I loved that part.

huh??? methinks me confused.

Topside!