For My Soul is Touched and I am Hollow (JA AU Obi/Qui/ now Xan) COMPLETE 5/26/04

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Jedi_Suzuran, Nov 5, 2002.

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  1. KenobisGirl Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 10, 2001
    star 4
    I just found this and I think that the plot is really promising. I'm curious to see where you're taking this, cause I really have no idea!

    More soon, please!

    KenobisGirl :p
  2. Cascadia Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 15, 2002
    star 4
  3. Lieutenant_Page Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 17, 2001
    star 4
  4. Cascadia Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 15, 2002
    star 4
  5. Jedi_Suzuran Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 22, 2002
    star 5
    KenobisGirl, thank you so much for finding this! [face_love] [face_love]

    I hope you come back to read it. :)

    Cas, L_P, thanks for the ups. :D [face_love]

    I'm writing the post, and hopefully, it will be up either tomorrow or Wednesday. :)
  6. Jedi_Suzuran Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 22, 2002
    star 5
    At last a post!

    Enjoy!

    *******************************

    Chapter V




    Shi-Ara Tayuuri.

    Obi-Wan knew who she was. He had seen her once, at the sparring hall about two weeks into his probation. She was Xanatos's...friend, Qui-Gon had told him, a strange note in his voice, which had puzzled Obi-Wan. He had gradually heard the rest of her story, though not from his master: Knighted in her early twenties, reliable on missions, taking an apprentice at 24. She had lost her padawan on a mission two years ago, and had asked the Council for some time away from the Temple to contemplate the Force and deal with her grief. It had been granted, and she had come back just prior to Obi-Wan returning from Melida/Daan.

    Her eyes sparkled. "I see you've heard of me, if the expression on your face is any indication."

    He blushed. "Yes, master."

    "I expect Master Jinn told you about me." She raised an eyebrow at him.

    "A-a little."

    "Something favorable?" She asked archly.

    "Y-yes."

    She pursed her lips. "I'm surprised. Master Jinn and I don't really get along. Is it the same with you?"

    Obi-Wan blinked in surprise. "We get along." We just don't connect.

    "That's good to hear." She smiled, then touched the flowers again. "You don't know about Kasumi blossoms, padawan?"

    He turned to the blossoms, a bit relieved to not be discussing his master. "No, I always wondered why they didn't bloom."

    "Many people don't know, my dear. It only happens if the right person comes along, you see. When they are touched, the flowers respond to the person's hand. They react to the pH content on the skin, if I recall correctly. There has to be the right amount, or the instinct to bloom isn't triggered. It means that the flowers only open to a small number of people."

    He touched them again, gently. "Doesn't that make it awfully inconvienient? If you buy them, you have no flowers, if your skin isn't right for them."

    She laughed. "You see now the problem, padawan. Many think that they can make them work. The flowers are stubborn and prove differently. They are still cherished, though, for they are considered the most beautiful in the galaxy when they bloom."

    "Have you ever seen them, master?"

    "Once, a very long time ago. I was an Initiate, and two of them opened for a master who died a year later. The Temple was enthralled, you know. Everyone came to see them. We only enjoyed them for a week, their cycle is very short, but it was a wonderful week." She smiled reminiscently.
    He nodded. "That sounds nice."

    "It was." She turned to look at him again. "I'm sorry you feel bad, padawan Kenobi."

    Obi-Wan swallowed. "Bad?"

    "Yes. You seemed...lost when I saw you."

    Lost...you have no idea. "I was just thinking, master."

    "How are you and Master Jinn doing? I hope he's been good to you since he took you back."

    He blushed. Of course she would know, idiot, it wasn't a secret in the Temple. "We've...had our ups and downs, master."

    "Well, everyone does," she said, matter-of-factly. She gave him a sympathetic look. "I wondered if you would have a rough time of it; I know Master Jinn a little better than you."

    "No, we've managed to put all that behind us. He's forgiven me for what happened at Melida/Daan."

    She smiled. "I'm so glad. You're a wonderful padawan, Obi-Wan. If master Jinn hadn't taken you back, I would have chosen you myself."

    His eyes widened. He had heard, while still an Initiate, that her padawan had been the envy of her peers. It had been an honor to be chosen by such a well regarded Knight. He blushed again. "I'm honored."

    "No honor about it," she told him, laughing. "You're a talented boy, and you'll make a fine Knight someday, you mark my words."

    "Thank you." He felt a smidgeon of happiness in his heart. That felt good to hear, after what had happened today.

    I wonder if I'll be a Knight now.

    He buried that voice away, not wanting to hear its ugly whisper. "Thank you," he said again.

    "
  7. obi_ew Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2002
    star 5
    Xanatos' friend I like her allready! :)
  8. Jedi_Knight_Hunter Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 6, 2002
    star 4
    Excellent job.

    I just don't know what else to say right now :)
  9. Cascadia Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 15, 2002
    star 4
    Well, Shi-Ara seems to have bolstered Obi-Wan's confidence a little . . . I guess.

    :D Post again soon!
  10. Arwen-Jade_Kenobi Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 9, 2002
    star 5
    Nice postie

    More soon right?
  11. Sheila Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 6, 2002
    star 4
    I am glad Shi-Ara was able to make Obi-Wan feel a little better, but I am not sure if we are supposed to trust her motives or not. I guess time will tell.

    Nice post JS! :)
  12. Cicci Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 16, 2002
    star 2
    Sorry for not stopping by in such a long time, Suzuran. I feel like a really bad reader.

    This story is developing so nicely, you really have a knack for characterization. The last post was veyr nice, I loved the thing with the flower, very creative!
    I'm glad Shi-Ara Tayuuri told Obi some things he really needed to hear. Great job!
  13. Aunecah_Skywalker Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 25, 2002
    star 5
    Yes, I finally clicked the mouse and forced into this thread to read ... And posted in the wrong story. [face_plain]

    Hang on, let me go find your other story.

    Aunecah
  14. Lieutenant_Page Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 17, 2001
    star 4
    If master Jinn hadn't taken you back, I would have chosen you myself."

    I like her..but I don't know..I have a weird vibe comming from that statment.
  15. Jedi_Suzuran Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 22, 2002
    star 5
    Master:
    I like her allready!

    [face_devil]

    JKH:
    Excellent job.

    I just don't know what else to say right now


    :) Thanks

    Cas:
    Well, Shi-Ara seems to have bolstered Obi-Wan's confidence a little . . . I guess.

    [face_devil] That's all I'll say. :)

    Arwen:
    More soon right?

    Indeed, yes. :D

    Sheila:
    I am glad Shi-Ara was able to make Obi-Wan feel a little better, but I am not sure if we are supposed to trust her motives or not. I guess time will tell.

    [face_devil] I love those smilies. And yes, time will indeed tell. :)

    Cicci:
    Sorry for not stopping by in such a long time, Suzuran. I feel like a really bad reader.

    This story is developing so nicely, you really have a knack for characterization. The last post was veyr nice, I loved the thing with the flower, very creative!
    I'm glad Shi-Ara Tayuuri told Obi some things he really needed to hear. Great job!


    Well, DRL gets all of us. Sadly. :_| Glad you've caught up. :)

    Aunecah:
    Yes, I finally clicked the mouse and forced into this thread to read ... And posted in the wrong story.

    Whoops! ;) Happens to the best of us. If you have time, then read this one as well as ILWN.

    L_P:
    If master Jinn hadn't taken you back, I would have chosen you myself."

    I like her..but I don't know..I have a weird vibe comming from that statment.


    [face_devil] I got some smart readers.

    ***THERE IS A POST TODAY!*** :eek:
  16. Jedi_Suzuran Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 22, 2002
    star 5
    Here is the post. The next one should be next week.

    ****************************


    Chapter VI




    Going back to his room was difficult. After bidding Master Shi-Ara good bye, Obi-Wan walked slowly to his quarters. He had managed to forget, for a short while, the disaster that was the afternoon. Now, he had to deal with it again.

    Walking into the room, he saw his master on his knees, in front of the window, deep in meditation. Obi-Wan bit his lip. He wanted to talk about the incident, but he didn't want to intrude. Never would he want to intrude. He was enough trouble for his master already.

    He made to go to his bed, but Qui-Gon's soft voice stopped him. "You're not disturbing me, I've been waiting for you."

    "I'm sorry," he whispered.

    "Don't apologize." Qui-Gon turned to him, patting the area on the floor next to him. "Sit, please. We need to talk."

    He sat, staring at his hands. He couldn't look at his master in the eye. Would he be blamed for what had happened?

    "Obi-Wan, can you tell me what you did today? I've never experienced anything like it."

    "I...pushed. I pushed, master. I'm sorry, I only wanted--"

    "No, no apologies. You have nothing to be sorry for. The blame is mine. I'm your master, I should have tried to figure out a solution to this problem, it's my duty."

    Duty. Duty, not desire, His heart fell. Was I wrong then, assuming he wanted closer contact? "I'm sorry, master."

    "Please don't apologize," Qui-Gon's voice held a note of exasperation. "I should apologize to you. I've been remiss in my responsibility. I'm sorry."

    He shook his head. "No, no you don't have to--"

    "I do." At the rueful tone, he looked up into his master's face. "I'd like to try that again. That amount of pain, from trying to access a training bond, shouldn't be there, Obi-Wan."

    Well, that much was certain. "Yes, master."

    "Would you mind trying again? Or are you too tired just now?" Qui-Gon's blue eyes softened with concern.

    His heart expanded, just a little, at the caring expression. Maybe it's not all lost, maybe there's still a chance... "I'm ready when you are, master."

    A small smile. "Very well then." He reached out and grabbed Obi-Wan's hands. "Do what you did before. Exactly as you did before."

    Closing his eyes, he did just that. He pushed, and sensed Qui-Gon doing the same.
    Immediately, as before, the training bond exploded between them. Obi-Wan buried himself in the feeling, stowing it away in his heart before it could be snatched away. He sensed Qui-Gon's mind exploring, and he radiated puzzlement, but also a muted joy. He was relieved too.

    It was all too brief. Pain came very quickly. Obi-Wan whimpered and Qui-Gon exhaled at the intensity of it.

    /Try to hold onto it./

    He nearly cried, not from the pain, but from the joy of hearing his master's voice in his mind. He'd missed it so much. Tightening his grip on Qui-Gon's fingers, he kept a hold on his master mentally, felt the other doing the same. /I'll try./

    The agony tripled. Still, they clung mentally. Within minutes, Obi-Wan began to feel dizzy, but he grasped harder. He couldn't let go--

    /Obi-Wan, let go, you're hurting./

    /No! Please, don't make me, it feels worse when it's gone--/

    /Let go./
    Qui-Gon's voice shook. He was trying to release their pain through the Force, but it wasn't working. /Let go. Please. We can try this again later. This could damage us both./

    /Master, please don't.../
    He whimpered again, barely managing to keep conscious.

    /Do it!/ Qui-Gon managed.

    In the end, it was too much, and they released each other simultaneously. With a scream, Obi-Wan felt the training bond vanish. He began to sob, from the pain and unhappiness. Nothing had been fixed. He was lonely. Again.

    Qui-Gon reached out, tilting his padawan's face upward. Tears streamed from the boy's chameleon eyes, which tore at his heart. With a shaky hand, he stroked the boy's cheek. "I'm sorry," he managed.

  17. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    It may be sad mush- but those two needed mush... and I love mush :)
  18. Cascadia Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 15, 2002
    star 4
    Angst and mush! Just what I love! [face_love] [face_love]
  19. Lieutenant_Page Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 17, 2001
    star 4
    Awww...they are trying so hard too! Why does pain always have to ruin things???

    Still worried about that other master...

    Ahhh...mush is good :p
  20. kikeriki Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 23, 2002
    star 1
    Oh my goodness! This is so wonderful! It brought tears to my eyes. You're an amazingly talented writer, JS!
  21. maramijade Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 17, 2000
    star 4
    Awww poor Obi wan, I'm glad for the physical bond though, that Qui is able to hug him and comfort him a little that way.

    The writing is Great!!!

    Can't wait for more
  22. obi_ew Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2002
    star 5
    :_| * runs off thread sobbing incoherently *
  23. Cicci Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 16, 2002
    star 2
    Aww...that post robbed me of my ability to write in English, I believe...

    Wonderful job Suzuran, you are an amazing writer.
  24. Drunk_on_Tang Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 21, 2002
    star 3
    Suzuran, your making me contradict myself! With the Shi-Ara Tayuuri (who is soooo awesome) post, you had me in my Qui as Lunkhead mindset. And then you showed the kind of Qui, making me contradict myself! Its so great! I love ur writing. Its beautiful!

    ~Dot
  25. Arwen-Jade_Kenobi Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 9, 2002
    star 5
    :_|

    *wraps keyboard in plastic wrap*

    Very mushy!! Just what the doctor ordered!
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