For My Soul is Touched and I am Hollow (JA AU Obi/Qui/ now Xan) COMPLETE 5/26/04

Awesome! What a great story - enjoying it very much. For someone who hasn't done angst before, you've certainly got it down. The mush is great.

I don't like that Shi-Ara - she sets my Spidey-senses tingling. She's just...off, somehow. Really good original character.

BTW, thanks for reviewing my story! Looking forward to more of yours soon!

Shaindl

 

Something tells me that this is going to get very bad

 

Oooh, I just started reading this fic, and I really like it Great job

 

I just loved how Qui-Gon blasted the Council. That was priceless!

I am with everyone else, I don't trust Shi-Ara. It seems like she is being nice but Obi-Wan always feels worse after speaking with her. Poor Obi-Wan is so insecure, and an insecure Obi-Wan is a very dangerous Obi-Wan. Dangerous to himself that is!

Great post JS !

 

I finally have time to do reader replies!

Master:
* Runs off of thread sobbing again! *

Yeesh, didn't know it upset you so, master.

Cas:
Insecure, Obi-Wan is. I wonder if Shi-Ara is actually trying to come between Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan. She's doing a lovely job of making Obi-Wan feel worse.

Isn't she just?

PK:
that's my thought exactly!

Great minds think alike.

kikeriki:
*sobs* And the angst goes on...

Yes, it does.

Cicci:
Now don't go hiding among your self-destructive thoughts Obi-wan! That's exactly what Shi-Ara wants, isn't it?

*wanders off to sob a little*

Dear me, I didn't think it would have that effect on all of you. As for Shi-Ara... ?

Shaindl:
Awesome! What a great story - enjoying it very much. For someone who hasn't done angst before, you've certainly got it down. The mush is great.

I don't like that Shi-Ara - she sets my Spidey-senses tingling. She's just...off, somehow. Really good original character.

*does another happy dance*

Yay! Thanks for reading this. "Spidey-senses"?

Arwen:
Something tells me that this is going to get very bad

<Cue in manical laughter>



Tahiri:

*does another mad happy dance*

Yay! Another reader! Thank you.

Sheila:
I just loved how Qui-Gon blasted the Council. That was priceless!

If anyone can get away with it, sort of speak, it's Qui.

I am with everyone else, I don't trust Shi-Ara. It seems like she is being nice but Obi-Wan always feels worse after speaking with her. Poor Obi-Wan is so insecure, and an insecure Obi-Wan is a very dangerous Obi-Wan. Dangerous to himself that is!

Well, you'll find out if you're right or not.

There should be a post on Monday. I thought of doing one this weekend, but I just don't have the time to write until Monday. Thanks, everyone!

 

For once, Qui has done something right for a change! Amazing!

Now, all I have to know is... WHY ARE YOU GOING AROUND AND MAKING ME HATE SHI-ARA NOW? I LIKED HER BEFORE, BUT NOW YOU'RE MAKING ME HATE HER! I mean, I may hate Qui, but I hate Xani more... and if Shi-Ara chooses the trickster over the lunkhead... well, she's evil...

~Dot

 

I really don't like Shi-Ara. I think she knows what she is doing, and she is doing it well. Obi-Wan needs to get some confidence back I wonder what Shi's ultamate goal is here...

 

Now, this Shi-Ara is a jedi. I can't see her willingly trying to hurt a young boy as some type of penance for Qui-Gon hurting Xanatos. That would be very un-jedi like.

So glad I had a chance to catch up on this one Suzuran. It's coming along very nicely and i'm very curious as to where you are going with it.

Keep up the good work and i'll be back when i can

--Shan

 

DOT:
Now, all I have to know is... WHY ARE YOU GOING AROUND AND MAKING ME HATE SHI-ARA NOW? I LIKED HER BEFORE, BUT NOW YOU'RE MAKING ME HATE HER! I mean, I may hate Qui, but I hate Xani more... and if Shi-Ara chooses the trickster over the lunkhead... well, she's evil...

Aw, sorry DOT. You'll have to find out what she wants. If anything.

L_P:
I really don't like Shi-Ara. I think she knows what she is doing, and she is doing it well. Obi-Wan needs to get some confidence back I wonder what Shi's ultamate goal is here...

You'll have to wonder a little longer.

Shan:
Now, this Shi-Ara is a jedi. I can't see her willingly trying to hurt a young boy as some type of penance for Qui-Gon hurting Xanatos. That would be very un-jedi like.

Are you so sure of that?

So glad I had a chance to catch up on this one Suzuran. It's coming along very nicely and i'm very curious as to where you are going with it.

Glad you caught up, shan. Hope you catch up on ILWN sometime also.

 

And here is the post!
*************************

Chapter IX

You're pathetic, Obi-Wan.

He forcefully shook that thought away. It was stupid to think that way. It was. He had a place in Qui-Gon's heart. He knew that. . But is it a higher place than Xanatos?

STOP IT! He shouted at himself. This doesn't accomplish anything, it only make you more miserable. Stop being such a baby. You're here, Xanatos is long gone. You are his heart. Just remember that.

He exhaled, looking to Shi-Ara, who was nibbling on a pastry. Obi-Wan hoped she hadn't heard any of his internal thoughts. He looked away, his gaze settling on another holo, this one in a blue frame, sitting several feet away from him.

Shi-Ara wiped at her lips, nodding to the picture. "You can look at it, if you like."

He got out of his seat and took the holo in his hands, carefully. It was of a young girl, a Twi'lek, smiling cheerfully. "Who is she?"

Her voice turned to a trembling whisper. "Kidarra Lusuli'ii, my padawan."

Obi-Wan swallowed, horror running through him. Nothing seemed to go right for him today. He felt terrible, reminding her of her loss. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

She shook her head. "It's all right. That was taken a year after I chose her. She was a joy to teach." Her gray eyes filled with tears. "So bright in the Force, so impish. In some ways, she reminded me of Xani when we were children."

He said nothing.

"That wasn't the only reason I chose her, of course. She was smart, and eager to learn. It felt right, teaching her." She took a strand of her curly hair in her fingers and put it in her lips. "Her death nearly drove me mad. She was so young, and it was so unexpected."

"I'm sorry," he said again, knowing it was inadequate.

She looked at him, the tears replaced by quiet pain. "Master Jinn was there, you know. He was there when she died."

He felt shock run through him. He hadn't known that. "He was?"

"Yes. Kidarra and I were sent on a mission with Master Jinn and two other Knights. We were there to bring 3 warring tribes to the negotiating table to work out a government for the planet. We managed to get them in the same field, but nothing went right after that. All three sides erupted, firing at each other. We Jedi were caught in the middle. We defended ourselves, as best we could, as we've always been taught. Kidarra did her best, but there were a few hardened commanders who thought she would make a lovely target, since she was so young. They fired at her, multiple times." Her voice darkened ever so slightly. "Master Jinn was closest and he tried to block their intent. He did his best, but he couldn't stop them all, not when they were so determined. She was hit in the chest and stomach. I comforted her as best I could, and Master Jinn tried to heal her, but it was no use. She died within the day."

How horrible, he thought, agony of his own running through him as he thought of Cerasi. "I'm sorry," he said, for the third time.

"I was...incoherent with grief," she whispered. "Master Jinn tried to comfort me, on the way back to Coruscant. I didn't appreciate it at the time. Perhaps I should have; he knew well the pain of losing a padawan. I couldn't, though. I just couldn't deal with any of it. We burned her body, as is traditional. I tried to go back to missions, but I was such a mess. There is no attachment, but I was as attached to my padawan as any master could be, and I struggled to find balance. I finally asked for time away from the Temple, and in the midst of those two years, I reclaimed myself." She rubbed her hands on the fabric of her dress several times, an agitated motion. "I'm able to deal with it now, but seeing her picture sometimes unsettles me."

"I didn't mean to--"

"No, it's all right, padawan Kenobi." She smiled at him then, taking the strand of hair out of her mouth. "You did nothing wrong, you were merely curious."

Obi-Wan nodded, a little relieved. "I'm glad that I didn't upset you, it wasn't m

 

If it's not physical Obi-torture, then it's mental torture. and you do a very good job of it [face-devil]

 

Oh my that was cruel!!! I like it

Poor Obi...that it the phrase of the day

MORE!!

 

Oh, the angst! I can imagine the evil grin on your face... You just love this torture, don't you?

 

Qui won't abandon Obi... will he?!?!? He couldn't!!! He's too cute!

But I think I know where this is going...

Great post! I love the interaction between Obi and Shi-Ara.

~*Nikita*~

 

awww poor obi . . .


great job Suzuran!

 

Obi-Wan needs to stay away from that Shi-Ara.

 

Now you have given us some background information on Shi-Ara. I have to wonder if she holds Qui-Gon responsible for her padawan's death. I agree with Cas , Obi-Wan needs to stay away from her!

Great post JS !

 

That dream was so terrifing! Shi-Ara isn't making the situation any better either! That darn woman is making Obi-Wan doubt himself and it bothers me...she REALLY bothers me.

What is she up too!?!?!

I love this story MOre soon please!

 

I think Obi needs some serious therapy! But who can blame him for being jealous of Xan?

 

What a fantastic post, Suzuran! I hurt all the way down to my marrow.

I really don't know what to think of Shi-Ara. She makes no sense whatsoever. But I know for a fact I dislike her for making Obi doubting himself and his place, no matter if that was her intention or not.

Poor Obi! Can I hug him?

 

PK:
If it's not physical Obi-torture, then it's mental torture. and you do a very good job of it [face-devil]

Why thank you! I've been feeling my way around this fic, wondering if I'm going overboard or not enough on the angst.

Arwen:
Oh my that was cruel!!! I like it



Poor Obi...that it the phrase of the day

I think that's the phrase of the boards.

kikeriki:
Oh, the angst! I can imagine the evil grin on your face... You just love this torture, don't you?

Evil grin? Moi? [face_innocent] I would never think of doing evil.

Nikita:
Qui won't abandon Obi... will he?!?!? He couldn't!!! He's too cute!

Will he or won't he? Or will it be the other way around?

But I think I know where this is going...

Really? Where?

maramijade:
awww poor obi . . .

Yes, poor wittle Obi.

Cas:

Obi-Wan needs to stay away from that Shi-Ara.



Sheila:
Now you have given us some background information on Shi-Ara. I have to wonder if she holds Qui-Gon responsible for her padawan's death. I agree with Cas , Obi-Wan needs to stay away from her!

There's already info on Shi-Ara, she's the same character that's in In Love With Night. She's just different. I'm doing an AU of my own AU. Ye Gods, I'm certifiably crazy.

L_P:
That dream was so terrifing! Shi-Ara isn't making the situation any better either! That darn woman is making Obi-Wan doubt himself and it bothers me...she REALLY bothers me.

[Palpy] Excellent.[/Palpy]

What is she up too!?!?!

Oh, I'm not telling. That'll all come about eventually, little by little.

I love this story MOre soon please!

Thanks!

Master:
I think Obi needs some serious therapy! But who can blame him for being jealous of Xan?

Therapy? Obi? You know, being your padawan doesn't include guarding you. With remarks like that, all the Obi fans will...uh, try to cause bodily harm.

As for Xan...well, such lusciousness must be envied eventually, I think you'll agree.

Cicci:
I hurt all the way down to my marrow.

Oh, that doesn't sound very good.

I really don't know what to think of Shi-Ara. She makes no sense whatsoever. But I know for a fact I dislike her for making Obi doubting himself and his place, no matter if that was her intention or not.

Yay! I'm confusing people! I was afraid she was too cardboard simple. OCs are hard enough, I guess I'm doing all right with this one. Yipeeee!

Poor Obi! Can I hug him?

Of course you can! He'll need plenty of hugs later too.



Sorry, guys, no post today. My Xani fic is screaming to be written today, and it's turning into a mammoth of a post. I'll post on this tomorrow.

 

Nasty dream, Suzuran... very nasty dream...

~Dot

 

Poor Obi... Xanatos is getting to him even while he's not there

 

Obi would never abandon Qui... unless he's soooo desperate... he isn't that desperate is he??? NOOO!!!

~*Nikita*~

 

* sigh *