Saga For Such a Time as This (Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon, others - very AU) - Author's Note 6/10

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Master_Noi, May 24, 2005.

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  1. Jedikma Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 4
    I loved the flashback! :D

    I really enjoy Obi-Wan's and Qui-Gon's relationship in this, it's so warm. :)

    Not good that Palpatine is suspicious. [face_worried]

    The only bad thing about this post is that I have to wait for the next one. :( This story is totally engrossing and I can't wait for more. :D

    Great job, Noi!!!
  2. Kynstar Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 2, 2004
    star 5
    The Senate is dark indeed Obi-Wan...

    Great job! Another well done chapter! :D

    So Qui thinks Obi is soon to be ready for Knighting? Yay! I'm sure Obi will like that talk eventually :D
  3. LuvEwan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2002
    star 4
    Ooooh, what foreboding in the last line! :eek: Another wondeful chapter, Noi. I loved the flashback, and how Qui-Gon laid his hand against Obi-Wan's cheek. [face_love] Beautiful.
  4. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    I've gotten so far behind! Argh! I've been a horrible lurker on this story, and I have no good excuse! Please forgive me?

    This is an incredible story and certainly worthy of its nominations! Bravo! =D=
  5. PadawanKitara Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    Thank you for a great chapter. I like you backstory on how the jedi didn't really disband, but vanished instead ;)
  6. Master_Noi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 8, 2004
    star 4
    maychorian

    Very cool history there, and a good way to get it across, also revealing Qui and Obi's early relationship. I had a completely different flashback written actually, and then that idea struck and it was so nice and peaceful that I just had to go with it. :)

    Jedi_Tigris

    I like the idea of both the Jedi and Sith in hiding and working undercover. That was the part of the bunny that bit so hard. The 'what-if' the Jedi hadn't become what they were.

    diane

    I did appreciate the way the Jedi pulled back, hiding a bit and yet continuing their traditions. I feel they would have wanted to do what was asked of them, but then again, they didn't stop being Jedi. In some ways not being tied to the Republic might have freed them to follow the will of the Force more.

    But my favorite part was with Qui-Gon's thoughts about Obi-Wan becoming a Knight and moving on. Poor Qui is facing a sort of empty nest syndrome.

    ithesock

    Especially the thought of Qui-Gon gathering flowers to make a wreath. You have to know that it seemed really sappy for me, but I could just see him doing it. And I knew some of you would love it.

    Loved the idea of darkness breaking over Obi - the image that inspires... Thanks. :D

    Jedikma

    I really enjoy Obi-Wan's and Qui-Gon's relationship in this, it's so warm. Thanks. I really enjoy writing them close.

    Not good that Palpatine is suspicious. That never is a good sign. :p

    Kynstar

    The Senate is dark indeed Obi-Wan... He doesn't know the hald of it. [face_mischief]

    LuvEwan

    I loved the flashback, and how Qui-Gon laid his hand against Obi-Wan's cheek. I have to say I am actually enjoying writing the mush. :)

    VaderLVR

    Please forgive me? Forgiven. 8-}

    This is an incredible story and certainly worthy of its nominations! Bravo! [face_blush][face_blush][face_blush]

    Kitara

    I like you backstory on how the jedi didn't really disband, but vanished instead. Thanks. Yep, they are still there. I like the idea of them just sort of keeping watch over things.
  7. Indra Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2003
    star 3
    You manage to balance the political stuff and the plot perfectly. I can't say it often enough: this is a great idea and I'm enjoying your writing immensely. This is definitely one of my favourite fics at the moment.
  8. Shaindl Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 18, 2002
    star 4
    Lovely, Noi. Palpy was suitably creepy. Ooh, I just can't wait for everything to explode - that's going to be great. Also am looking forward to seeing what Jedi are on Dantooine - that'll be intriguing too. :)

    More soon? :D
  9. obi_ew Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2002
    star 5
    I lost track of this. Sorry. [face_blush]

    I'm loving this similar and yet different galaxy the Jedi are in. Palps is slimey even here though. I'm enjoying this Obi muchly. :*
  10. Siri-Wan-Kenobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 14, 2005
    star 2
    I loved the flashback. It was sad how Qui wanted to make something for his wife:_|. I am still waiting to see if senator Adi has something to do with the Jedi... can't wait for more Noi
  11. Master_Noi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 8, 2004
    star 4
    Indra - this is a great idea and I'm enjoying your writing immensely. Thank you so much.

    Shaindl - I just can't wait for everything to explode Just hang in there a little longer. It will explode. [face_mischief]

    obi-ew - I'm enjoying this Obi muchly.Thanks! The Jedi are different, but that galaxy might not be as different as you think.

    Siri-Wan - I am still waiting to see if senator Adi has something to do with the Jedi She will have an important role to play in time.

    Thank you so much for the nominations for Best Alternate Universe and Best Short Story. As much as I hate to say it, I am going to have to decline the Short Story nomination because I have a lot of story to tell. :)

    ***

    Chapter 5

    The simple, two-story house was located in the countryside of Aksu outside the capital of Kucha; far enough away to remain private but not mysterious. It was the house where Obi-Wan had grown up and the same house where he and Qui-Gon had forged the beginnings of their relationship in the aftermath of grief and loss.

    In late dusk, the sun was seen only as hues of purple and orange painted against the graying sky, but it was enough light to take in the surroundings. Two large Suget trees, their long branches draping down in a canopy, stood in the front yard exactly as Obi-Wan remembered them. The tree nearest the house held a small fort up in its sturdy branches, built years before by Bren?an Kenobi. A swing hung from the other. Obi-Wan had long ago outgrown both, but they were still used. The Kenobi?s home had always been open and it still seemed it was always full of Jedi in route from one place to another, staying for days or longer at a time. Many came to just get away from the city, to be themselves for even a short while.

    Obi-Wan made his way up the steps of the front porch and stopped, running his hand along the smooth surface of the front door. There was no need to knock ? this was his home. He activated the door and it slid open. Automatic sensors detected his arrival and the lighting gradually brightened. He paused for a moment, setting his bags to the ground.

    The house was teeming with memories, reminders of his parents. From the foyer Obi-Wan could see Kaiya?s precious Itiras still climbing along the trellis outside the kitchen window, blooming in deep purples and brilliant crimson. Always adventurous, he had fallen from that trellis and broke his arm when he was five years old. In the sitting room, the comfortable, well-worn armchair that Kaiya could never seem to get Bren?an to discard stood as tribute to the man?s stubborn nature, forever throwing off the décor.

    Obi-Wan walked over to the mantle, trailing his fingers along as he activated each holo. The first was of a young couple, very much in love; he was dressed in crisp silks, her in the brightest white. Another showed the same couple, holding a small bundle in their arms. They had been hesitant in their ability as parents, but bounding with joy. There was another of them and a small boy smiling widely; a gap where his two front teeth should be. Obi-Wan closed his eyes. If he concentrated he could still grasp a mere wisp of their presences. The essence had faded with time, but the house was still permeated with their warmth.

    The holos changed over time as well. The couple was gone, but Obi-Wan found that Qui-Gon was in their place every step of the way through graduations, returning from his first mediation with the diplomatic corp, and a vacation on Alderaan. The last picture on the mantle showed another couple. Qui-Gon stood their, beardless with shorter hair, obviously younger. The woman at his side had long raven locks that she wore braided neatly behind her head. Her deep green eyes were full of warmth. The mantle was nearly sacred and Qui-Gon had been speechless when Obi-Wan asked him to add the holo of him and Kara with the insistence that she was family.

    Loss is part of life; we must not let it consume us
  12. LuvEwan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2002
    star 4
    Oh, why do I get the feeling I'll be inspired to mournfully cry out 'Poor Obi-Wan!' many times during this wonderful story? [face_worried] I can't even tell you how much I love this, Noi. The last line was so ominous.
  13. Jedi_Tigris Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 7, 2005
    star 4
    Beautiful job with the homecoming! I love the descriptions of the holopics on the mantle. Nice job with the sparring too. So Mace has a son, Yong? That's interesting! Oh boy, looks like Obi-Wan is going to become a senator. Its nice to see they have confidence in him. :)

    Loved this chapter!
  14. Jedikma Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 4
    Great job with the sparring scene Noi. :D

    Loved the descriptions of Obi-Wan's home and his family. :)

    And, as always, I can't wait for more. :D

  15. Shaindl Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 18, 2002
    star 4
    Oh, Noi, beautiful again. Loved seeing Mace in this and I'll be interested to see what he's been up to in this version of the GFFA. The sparring was beautifully described as well - something that's always hard. Great job!
  16. obi_ew Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2002
    star 5
    Very enjoyable chapter. I loved the discussion of the various fighting techniques. I also think we'll be worrying about Obi a lot as this unfolds. =D=
  17. Kynstar Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 2, 2004
    star 5
    If Mace has a son... [face_mischief] Who's the mum? ;)

    Great job!! I loved it! Liked how you wrote some of Obi's memories :) It shed some light on things.

    Can't wait for their 'talk'!
  18. Siri_Tachi Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Feb 23, 2005
    Beautiful, and excellently crafted post. I agree great sparing scene, I like the inclusion of the fighting forms. Look forward to reading more. =D=
  19. maychorian Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 7, 2005
    star 4
    Yay! =D=

    I loved the pictures on the mantle, and Qui-Gon and his wife being there. These Jedi seem to have a good handle on the whole "attachment" issue. Brava!

    I liked the duel too. And Mace with a son! :) That was a surprise, but very welcome. Who are Jun and Tao? More relatives?

    Aw, it's all one big happy family! I love it!
  20. Master_Noi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 8, 2004
    star 4
    LuvEwan

    Oh, why do I get the feeling I'll be inspired to mournfully cry out 'Poor Obi-Wan!' many times during this wonderful story?

    [face_mischief] I don't know. [face_whistling]

    Jedi_Tigris

    Beautiful job with the homecoming!Thanks. I'm glad you liked it.

    So Mace has a son, Yong? That's interesting!Yeah, really interesting to think of him having a son, isn't it. ;)

    Jedikma

    Great job with the sparring scene Noi.

    Thanks. I am always unsure about how a sparring scene comes off. And yes, more to come soon. The inspiration on this story just keeps coming. :D

    Shaindl

    I'll be interested to see what he's been up to in this version of the GFFA.

    He's a Jedi master. I couldn't imagine him as anything different, but he also has a day job.

    Glad you liked the sparring.

    obi-ew

    I loved the discussion of the various fighting techniques. I am finding I am doing a lot of research for this fic. It was fun to look at the techniques.

    Kynstar

    If Mace has a son... mischief Who's the mum? Hmmm, it makes me think you are having problems with the idea that Mace Windu could be married with kids. :p

    It shed some light on things. I'm glad I could fill in some gaps.

    Siri_Tachi

    Beautiful, and excellently crafted post. I agree great sparing scene, I like the inclusion of the fighting forms. Look forward to reading more.

    Welcome. Thanks. I am so glad the sparring scene came of well.

    maychorian

    I loved the pictures on the mantle, and Qui-Gon and his wife being there. I guess I am getting in my mush quota. :p

    Who are Jun and Tao? More relatives? Questions, questions. You will meet them soon.


  21. Master_Noi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 8, 2004
    star 4
    Giving this a quick "up" for those who didn't see I had updated. :)
  22. PadawanKitara Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    Hurray- an update to keep me until next week- thanks
  23. Princess_Arulmozhi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 16, 2004
    star 4
    Thank Goodness for the up.

    I must say, Mace's...er...progeny really made me give a jump. :D. Cool twist. And all those technical terms about light-sabre combat...that was great too. And that Obi-Wan skilful enough to make Mace work towards beating him. Great work, Master_N!
  24. Master_Noi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 8, 2004
    star 4
    Kitara - Updates, updates. :D

    P_A

    I must say, Mace's...er...progeny really made me give a jump.[face_laugh]

    And that Obi-Wan skilful enough to make Mace work towards beating him.

    It was fun trying to get the right balance in that scene.
  25. Obi_Kenobi_Devotee Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 4, 2004
    star 1
    Wow. This has to be the most interesting, captivating AU I've ever read. I adore it! [face_love]
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