Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Master_Noi, May 24, 2005.
Ah, some action.
I loved how Anakin could sense the Force and how he described it. Good thing he was there to help Padme. Hopefully the Senators will all survive. But how very convenient that the Senate was bombed while several Force users were in it. Palpatine did his planning well.
Loved the action and the description of the pods falling like that.
That was a great post!! With no Jar Jar to screw things up, I wondered how you were going to get our dear Chancellor the emergency powers he craves...this was a brilliant way to do it!!
I'm off to see Clone Wars right now
Very exciting I loved the two different scenes Anakin and Padme and then Mace with Obi-Wan. the details of the blast were very well written I felt like I could see the whole thing clearly.
Great update and thanks for the PM.
Great update - so now the emergency powers will come to fruition.
that was great! I knew Palpy would be sneaky and pull something like this off!
Thanks for the PM! I wouldn't put it past Palpatine to orchestrate something like this to get those emergency powers that he loves.
So... Obi-Wan, Mace, Adi, Bail and Mon Mothma survived, but for how long? Siri and Qui-Gon, where are you? Excellent post, as always but you left us with big questions.
Nice to see the other perspective from inside the building. So how many senators saw a pair of lightsabers in action on the floor of the senate? I would think that would raise a few eyebrows. Of course, most of them were probably busy making sure their various parts and pieces were still intact!
And as a side note, I wouldd hate to be on the other side of the courtroom from Mace Windu!
Wow, what a great action-filled post! Good job.
I'm glad Mace is there to help Obi-Wan with the inquisition. And I'm with Mace, I'm surprised Garen allowed Obi-Wan out of his sight, especially with what they are all sensing in the force.
?Provided Chancellor Palpatine is alive, he will declare a state of emergency. The government will operate under executive power until the senate is stable again.?
A shudder ran down Anakin?s spine. It was the answer he had feared.
Question is, will an Empire rise out of this?
It took me two daysto read this magnificent story. I love the way you have weaved canon into this very AU world.
I'm betting that Palps set up that explosion to facilitate the Military Act
Please add me to the PM list for further updates.
Woah! I've just spent days readin this from the start and I think it's the best AU I've ever read, it's so imaginative and just plain clever!
I love how you've incorporated so many of the canon and EU characters into such a believable universe.
I'm eagerly awaiting the next post!
Can you please add me t your PM list? Thanks!!
Yes, way too short and incredibly tension filled!!
I'm surprise they didn't think of keeping track of Palpatine for this very reason.
Anakin leaned forward, resting his chin on folding arms. How did the three Force sensitives down there remain so calm with the Force screaming at them? Master Yoda would say that the Force didn?t scream at them as loudly and that he should have patience. That was easier said than done. The mixture of surging darkness and warning was dizzying.
?What?s wrong?? Padme asked.
?The Force is agitated,? Anakin explained in a clipped response.
?What do you mean by agitated??
?I mean that I feel like an army of sand ants is marching around in my skin.?
Loved this as a description of what Anakin was feeling. The action in this chapter was wonderfully done. With the Senate in such a disorganized state, I think things may get much more complicated.
Exciting update! Love the clever way you continue to twist canon events in order to make this story fresh, and yet true to the original.
I have been following this story for quite a while now, and I find it just as fascinating as ever. Please add this ID to the revised PM list.
This update was well written and very enjoyable to read. I particularly like seeing the Jedi working to support each other, and Anakin is in a much better state of mind than his canon counterpart.
I wonder how long it will take the Jedi to put two & two together and implicate Palpatine in this attack on the Senate and his adversaries within.
nada_smith - The Jedi are about to come into a little bit of helpful information. It just remains to be seen if they can get it back safely.
Independence - I kind of left things in a mess, didn't I. Don't worry, things will probably get worse before getting better. And yes, everything is going according to Palpatine's plans.
Valairy_Scot - Thanks, I was hoping for tension.
ratna - It was actually three different bombs that did all that damage, and seismic is a good word to describe it.
Gkilkenny - Yep. Action.
dianethx - That whole scene started with the idea of a pod landslide and the image of Anakin and Padme hanging from the ceiling. I think Palpatine is going to be unhappy that a certain few senators survived.
PadawanKitara - I think he will have his emergency powers very soon and the Senate will be begging for the army.
obsessedwithSW - I wanted to have several views of what's happening. And we still don't know were Garen and Byram are in all this mess.
AngryWarrior - Thanks.
Kivas - I'm afraid so.
Ocelotl_Nesto - Sneaky indeed.
Ice1605 - He needed to get them somehow.
OBI-LOVE - There are always more questions.
DountCooku - I would hate to go up against Mace Windu also. I think it is safe to assume the lightsabers went unnoticed. I think everyone was quite occupied at the moment.
Jaira - Thanks.
bek - Palpatine still has the job of convincing the Senate that an empire is what they want.
Force_Chick - Palpy had to do something to get past the interference of certain senators.
nickenobi-nz - Thanks for taking the time to read this. I am glad you like the part everyone is playing.
Healer_Leona - I think this will be one of those hindsight 20/20 things.
smoke20ts - I think life has just gotten much more complicated for all involved.
Itachi-Uchiha - It's still fun to twist everything up. Don't hate me for the next post.
LOBO - Finding out that Palpy is the Sith lord is one thing. Bringing everything to light without solid evidence in a galaxy where people think Jedi and Sith don't exist, and where the Sith in question is gaining a strangle hold on the galaxy is going to be a much larger task.
The quaint home sat nestled on a quiet hillside just outside Thani, the capitol of Telos. Records showed it was old and had been in had been in the Marojni family for generations, though it looked as though the security system had been augmented with the latest in technology.
Corrar Tachi sat hidden amongst the foliage; the Force was wrapped around him tightly to mask his presence. He reached out with his senses, carefully probing the residence. It wasn?t the perimeter security he was worried about. He sensed no danger and no twistings of the dark side in the fabric of the Force and breathed a little easier.
It was time to see if the information he had was worth the lives it had claimed.
The Jedi master stood and crept stealthily down the side of the hill. He leaped up over the perimeter fence, making an easy and graceful landing on the other side. As he neared the residence, he ducked out of the way of a droid patrol, spying an open window on a upstairs balcony where he could enter the house.
He stepped down an empty maze of corridors, completely aware of his surroundings. There were no internal guards, something that gave him relief. Apparently, no one thought the resident of the house was of much interest so security was light. Corrar quickly slipped through the doors at the end of the hall into what looked like the sitting room of a large suite.
?Who?s there?? a gravely voice called from the adjacent room. ?Hedda, is that you??
An aging man shuffled around the corner with a sturdy walking stick in hand. Though he likely was no more than ten years older than Corrar, it was obvious the years had not been kind. Silver hair framed a heavily sagging face. His back was hunched and his hands gnarled.
?Forgive my intrusion, Govenor Marojni,? the Jedi said in the mildest voice possible as he executed a polite bow. ?It is urgent that I speak with you.
Confusion hovered over the fragile man, evident in dimmed, anxious eyes that searched over Corrar. It was rumored that Crion Marojni, the former governor of Telos, had lost his mind. Having a Sith for a son could do that to a man, Corrar mused.
?You aren?t supposed to be here,? Crion accused.
?I know, Sir,? Corrar replied. ?But, I need to speak to you about Xanatos.?
?Xanatos?? Crion let out a pained half-laugh. ?Xanatos is gone.?
?I understand that he is not here.? Thank the Force for that. ?I need to ??
?Gone, gone ? a long time ago ? the demons took my Xanatos away.?
?My Xanatos is gone, gone,? Crion continued to babble sadly. ?Only Acutus remains.?
It didn?t take any great deduction to realize that the demons were the Sith, but it was a good starting point.
?Who were these demons?? Corrar asked.
?I wanted a good teacher ? only the best for my Xanatos ? they took him away,? Crion explained.
?Who took him away, Governor?? Corrar pressed gently.
Deep blue eyes studied him for a moment before the old man announced in a hushed tone, ?You aren?t supposed to be here ? no visitors ? Acutus will be angry ? and Xanatos won?t help me.?
?Sir, you can tell me who the demons are,? Corrar pressed gently infusing the Force?s influence into his words.
Though the mind was weak enough, the suggestion didn?t seem to be of any effect. Crion simply reiterated, ?Acutus will be angry ? you aren?t supposed to be here.?
?Tell me about the demons and I will leave,? Corrar tried again with strong suggestion.
?They took my Xanatos away,? Crion repeated.
?Where did they take him??
?You aren?t supposed to be here.?
Corrar squelched his frustration ? to be so close only to be stuck in such an unending circle. It was apparent he was working against another Force suggestion, one forged of the dark side.
The Jedi master could feel time closing in on him. Certainly a caretaker or someone made regular rounds. ?Forgive me,? he whispered, sorrowful that he would have to inflict more pain on the tortured soul in front of him.
Reaching out with the Force, he pulled a small o
This doesn't look too promising for the good guys! Thanks for another nail-biting post.
omg I love this story so much it's making me crazy.
The whole meeting between Siri's Dad and Crion was so well handled. Loved this:
Naboo -- the word pierced straight through Corrar. He knew only two individuals from Naboo influential enough to have any power. One held the highest position in the galaxy and the other held the heart of the Chosen One in her hand.
That was so beautifully put. And how ironic, if I think about it. In a way, it looks like everything turns on Naboo ....
Byram digging Garen out reminded me of firefighters' memoires from 911.
"They blew up the Communications Tower," Garen said softly, his teeth chattering slightly.
That bit of detail about teeth chattering was inspired. Really put me on the ground beside them.
The gruesome solution, but one that at least has a chance of saving life:
He looked back down to meet Garen's piercing gaze. "Do it," the knight said.
Your simple prose is powerfully compelling throughout.
He looked back down to meet Garen?s piercing gaze. ?Do it,? the knight said.
?Just make it quick,? Garen insisted. ?Don?t think about it.?
Byram nodded as he ignited his saber. Garen closed his eyes and took a deep breath, reaching out to the Force as Byram brought his blade down.
Light sabre's come in handy for a variety of jobs
Poor Crion! Poor Garen! I'm glad the rest of our merry little band are still alive and relatively intact.
And now with the Separatists on the move, well, this is where the fun begins. Thanks for the update!
Oh - my.
First the leg - then the ending.
Chilling on many levels. I'm always so happy to see this updated.
So, Corrar is coming close to the truth. Love how he realized it.
One held the highest position in the galaxy and the other held the heart of the Chosen One in her hand.