Saga For the first time, rewrite challenge, Obi-Wan and Darth Vader scene on the Death Star

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by earlybird-obi-wan, Mar 1, 2012.

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  1. earlybird-obi-wan Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
    For the first time
    Author: Earlybird-obi-wan
    Timeframe: ANH
    Characters: Obi-Wan, Anakin, Luke, Leia, Chewbacca, Han, Artoo and Treepio
    Genre: rewrite
    Summary: Obi-Wan during his final fight against Anakin.
    Disclaimer: Star Wars is owned by G.L.

    For the first time

    For the first time I see the dark shell that keeps my friend alive. Sure I had seen Darth Vader ? as he was calling himself from the day he pledged his oath to his new master ? on various holoscreens but this getting from the core back to the Millennium Falcon had me meeting him in person.
    My friend; what has he done to you? I ignite my lightsaber after he ignites his. Red; the colour of a Sith. Even the blue must be gone from his eyes. He is corrupted by his master.

    ?I have been waiting for you Obi-Wan. We meet again, at last. The circle is now complete.
    When I left you, I was but the learner; now I am the master.?

    Raspy and artificial but he recognises me immediately and I take the defensive Soresu position. He sure must recognise that and I reply ?only a master of evil, Darth? omitting his new name. For me he is always Anakin Skywalker and I am sure that deep inside a core of light remains. Padmé?s last words were that there is good in him. And I believe her. Tears, there are tears in my eyes when I step forward.
    I couldn?t kill you on Mustafar.
    I cannot kill you here.

    And I sense the old Anakin rushing in reckless and eager when he parries my move. I can block him, move around him, again headed to the Millennium Falcon. Doesn?t he see that? No.

    ?Your powers are weak, old man.?

    Old man. He never called me that. I was his master or just Obi-Wan. I am not that old. I have become a student again. Yes; they are coming. Yes master Qui-Gon. Can I convince Anakin? I will tell him. And I do softly but hoping to get his attention.
    ?You can?t win, Darth. If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possible imagine.? No, he doesn?t listen. He continues to attack me. And I hear booted feet and above that his son.


    Troopers rush towards us. Good; Luke, Leia, Han, Chewbacca, Artoo and Treepio can make it towards the Falcon. I see Luke hesitating.

    I turn. Now is the time to let go.
    I smile. Now is the time to leave my legacy.
    I am light. Now is the time to ignite the spark of light in Anakin.

    I see the lightsaber cutting through my cloak.
    I see my lightsaber falling down.
    I hear Luke.


    Han: ?Come on!?

    Leia: ?Come on! Luke, it?s too late!?

    Han: ?Blast the door! Kid!?

    And I urge Luke ?Run Luke! Run!?

    Yes the son listens and I see him running towards the Millennium Falcon. And the freighter is getting away when I see Anakin picking up my lightsaber.
    Sure, his musings about my lightsaber and me will let that spark grow to incandescence.

    I will watch you Anakin.
    Remember; you are my ?brother.?

    ?He is!?

    I turn and there he is: Qui-Gon, my master and my father.

    ?Yes my son.?

  2. Hazel Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 9, 2010
    star 4
    Very good take on that scene! @};-
  3. The1stJediPrincess Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 20, 2010
    star 2
    Well done! =D= Very nicely written.
  4. serendipityaey Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 24, 2004
    star 4
    Lovely! [face_love] Very nice from Obi's pov. I like the line about him being 'light' and watching over Anakin and Qui meeting him! All so good :D Really enjoyed this1
  5. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 31, 2004
    star 7
    You do a stunning Obi in first person =D= =D=

    Very touching seeing his faith in Anakin's remaining goodness [face_thinking]

  6. Gkilkenny Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4
    Very nice. I like to think that Obi-Wan's death then, did something to turn Anakin back to the light.=D=
  7. Valairy Scot Backpacking One Pack a Day Mod of New Films

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 6
    ^^ I BELIEVE that was the first step. Well done.
  8. earlybird-obi-wan Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6

    Thank you all for the generous comments.

    For me this scene was the 'moment' for Obi-Wan to show his mastery and his belief that Anakin could be redeemed
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