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  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

Phx for Void at work...

Discussion in 'SouthWest Region Discussion' started by sideshow212, Mar 11, 2003.

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  1. sideshow212

    sideshow212 Former RSA star 4 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 3, 2002
    i know not all of these apply to your job void, but there pretty good! :D

    New Support Fees:
    • Calling me with a question - $10

    • Calling me with a stupid question - $30

    • Calling me with a stupid question you can't quite articulate - $50

    • Implying I'm incompetent because I can't interpret your inarticulate problem description - $1000 + punitive damages

    • Questions received via phone without first trying help desk - $50

    • Questions where answer is in TFM (the ****'n manual) - $100.00

    • Calling me back with the same problem *after* I fix it once - $100

    • Insisting that you're not breaking the software, and the problem is on my end somehow - $200

    • Asking me to walk over to your building to fix the problem - $25/step

    • Asking me to drive to another town to fix your problem - $50/mile + gas

    • If you interrupt me while I was trying to actually fix somebody else's problem - $170/hr

    • If you try to hang around and get me to fix it now - $250/hr

    • If you expect me to tell you how I fixed it - $60/hr

    • If you've come to ask me why something isn't working while I'm currently working on it- $270/hr

    • If you're asking me to fix something I fixed for you yesterday - $175/hr

    • If you're asking me to fix something I told you I fixed yesterday, but never did fix - $85/hr

    • If you're asking me to fix a quick patch that I made that didn't work - $95/hr

    • If you're bugging me while there's another admin in the room who could have done it for you - $150/hr

    • Making me trek to your office to fix your problem then leaving immediately after hanging up the phone - $1500.00

    • Calling up with a problem which "everybody" in the office is having and which is "stopping all work." Not being there when I rush over to look at it and nobody else in the office knows anything about it.- $1700.00

    • Explaining a problem for 1/2 hour over the phone BEFORE mentioning it's your personal machine at home - $500.00

    • Self-diagnosing your problem and informing me what to do - $150.00

    • Having me bail you out when you perform your own repairs I told you not to do - $300.00

    • Not telling all of your co-workers about it - $850.00

    • Figuring out you mean floppy drive when you say hard drive - $50.00

    • BEFORE I order your replacement hard drive - $250.00

    • Fixing your "broken" mouse with a mousepad - $25.00

    • Fixing your "broken" optical mouse by rotating the mousepad 90 degrees - $35.00

    • Fixing a "broken" mouse by cleaning the rollers - $50.00

    • Fixing your "broken" printer with an ink/toner cartridge - $35.00

    • Fixing your "broken" ANYTHING with the power button - $250.00

    • Fixing the "crashed" system by turning the external disk back on - $200.00

    • Fixing the "hung" system by plugging the ethernet connector back in - $375.00

    • Fixing the crashed nameserver by plugging back in the SCSI cord someone accidentially yanked out on Friday afternoon when the 'real' sysadmin has just left for a two week vacation - $400

    • Visiting your old university and fixing the broken PC by plugging the monitor lead back in - $50

    • Explaining that you can't log in to some server because you don't have an account there - $10

    • Explaining that you don't have an account on the machine you used to have an account on because you used it to try to break into the above server - $500

    • Forgetting your password after it was tattooed on your index finger - $25

    • Changing partitions without informing me first - $50

    • Installing programs with
     
  2. Idiots Array

    Idiots Array Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jan 3, 2000
    So how's that drive to work going, Void. :p
     
  3. VoidDancer

    VoidDancer Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Feb 13, 2002
    I'm going to post that in my cube here Sideshow.


    I was bitching about it in the tavern IA
     
  4. Idiots Array

    Idiots Array Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jan 3, 2000
    heh...Saw it and replied.
     
  5. sideshow212

    sideshow212 Former RSA star 4 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 3, 2002
    glad you like it void! :D
     
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